BS: Footballers' English

Subject: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 07:01 PM

I'll call this one the "Kevin Keegan Mole on the Wall of the Dressing Room" award. I'm trying to compile a selection of these to maybe put in a song:-

Two from Radio Leicester's Matt Piper:-

"We're one nil up, but can we weather this entourage they're throwing at us?"

"If the other players try to intefere it'll just exasperate the situation"

And from another ex-regular Radio Leicester pundit, Matt Jones:-

"If there's one thing that he's got it's integrity -he's a very integral player".

"Anyone who thinks we're going to get promoted playing like that is looking at the world through rose-scented glasses!"

Local Rugby commentator Bleth Jones :-

The referee's stopped the game and he's going to see what indiscrepancies have been committed!"

Any more of these:-

If you're a Leicester City supporter you have to seek solace in things like this.

Any more good footballing HildaOgdenisms?

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 08:01 PM

Here's a link to a fine selection of these.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 19 Apr 08 - 08:19 PM

OK - so we lost - but good things can come from it - negative and positive ... (Glenn Hoddle)

His brain was going as quick as his legs and he was in two minds - (Alan Brazil)

Tony Adams - He's the Rock that the team has grown from (Ron Atkinson)

30 minutes to go and it's still 1-0 apiece (scot-fm commentator)

and still we have a game on our hands - as long as it remains that way, then that's the way it will be.

we're not as bad a team as some people give us credit for

He's only 20 ut he's already played for the england under 21 side
They'll perhaps finish in the top three - I can't see them going any higher

He has those telescopic legs that can turn a leeds ball into an arsenal one (motty)

We signed to play until the day we died - and we did (greavesie)

This games about winning and losing - and if you win that means you've beaten someone (Graham taylor)

... They've done the old fashioned things well - they've kicked the ball - they've headed it ... (big ron)

everything he [david mellor] is involved in, he goes in hard and he goes in deep.

leeds united are enjoying more of the possession now that they've got the ball

there's dennis bergkamp standing on the halfway line with his hands on his hips, flailing his arms about.

there are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion ...


we have more non english players in our country than any other country in the world

etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

any good?

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Rasener
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 05:52 AM

"The best chance for us to try and win the game would be with having eleven players for all of the game" MON talking about the Villa Blues game today.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 06:14 AM

Thanks 4 that villan -and best of luck with the match - after Leicester the Villa are my next favourite team -Martin is still God in Leicester!

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 06:28 AM

As a postscript to the Martin O' Neill compliment someone in Leicester did suggest getting him a dictionary to suggest words other than "fantastic"!

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 07:10 AM

You bet!

I'm Irish too!

So Martin O'Neill is definitely included in the prayers for a place alongside the pope, JFK and Jack Charlton above the fireplace.

Oh how I dream that he will one day manage the Rep of Ireland.

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please etc etc etc ...

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Rasener
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 07:54 AM

Well the Villa are winning 2 -0 at half time.
MON seems to have found a system, with Petrov being the achor man behind Barry and N R Coker with Young in front of them and Carew & Agbonlahor up front.

I think with that system, they have scored 12 goals in 2 and a half matches.

No you can't have him for R o I Lox

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Rasener
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 09:07 AM

What a lovely day 5 - 1 for Villa against the enemy. Can't be bad :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 10:01 AM

Did you go to the match?

Their defence is definitely the athlete's foot of Birmingham City!

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Rasener
Date: 20 Apr 08 - 01:03 PM

You may not beleive this, but I should have been going along with my brother to be guest of honour in the directors box with all the trimmings FOC.
However, my brother had a serious operation 2 weeks ago and I had to cancel it.
Never mind, Villa have promised us that we can go as guests next season, when my brother should be a lot better.

Another good result for Villa with Pompey losing. If the Villa can beat Everton next week, they will go above them an dthen Wigan & West Ham after that could see the Villa in Europe.

Not going to hold my breath though. Villa always seem to promise everything and then let us down at the last hurdle.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 11:28 AM

You've got to remember it's still early days - MON was five years at Leicester. The thread's got a bit hi-jacked, but as it looks like it's about to die, thought it would be good to end on a positive note.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Rasener
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 11:57 AM

"I think we will continue to have success. I think Rafa Benitez has unique skills, he motivates the team and We have some great players who are learning how to play with each other."
Tom Hicks

Really, I thought they were there to play football

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: GUEST,Vic at work
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 04:49 PM

Surely an oxymoron, Most footballers are either foreign or have no ability with the language.

I am a long-time Foxes supporter and am therefore in a very hightened nervous state so am probably open to criticism as to the use of the language!

See you at Nics Dave.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Rasener
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 05:35 PM

Vic
Its easy sitting on the outside, but basically you have to beat Sheffield Wednesday at Home to stay up. I can't see you beating Stoke.
Sounds easy doesn't it, but I know it isn't.
I remember being on holiday in Saundersfoot sitting in the car on the dock, listening to the last match of Villas (Brian Little was manager) knowing that if they lost they wpould go down. Fortunately they just made it, much to the relief of my wife and daughter at the time. :-) I went and had a great big jug of alcohol on the night.

Keep on taking the nerve tablets. Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 22 Feb 10 - 04:17 PM

Just read that Cheryl Cole has ended her marriage by text. She sent Ashley Cole a text message to tell him their marriage was over.

Her message read,"Move out. It's over". She was too nice for him. I doubt she will be lonely for too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: alanabit
Date: 22 Feb 10 - 04:37 PM

One of the main differences between our footballers and foreign footballers is that most foreigners can at least speak one language coherently.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 22 Feb 10 - 04:43 PM

And so can the peopaw who talk about foo'baw!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 22 Feb 10 - 10:31 PM

Surprised that there has been no ref thruout this thread to Private Eye magazine's long ongoing "Colemanballs" column, which deals specifically with such linguistic confusions. For benefit of Transponders & other such poor souls out there in Outer Darkness, the column is named for David Coleman, an erstwhile well-known BBC commentator particularly known for persistent perpetration of such gaffes and malapropisms.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: banjoman
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 06:45 AM

Once heard this from (I think) David Pleat - He just opened his legs and let loosse all over the pitch

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Smedley
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 06:56 AM

BBC radio commentary from a couple of years back - "And Liverpool are coming all over the face of the goalmouth".

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: The Sandman
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 07:45 AM

football,is a game of two halves.
the boy done well.
but nothing compares to cricket commentators,from Brian Johnson,we had
The bowlers holding the batsmens Willey

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Dave Sutherland
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 08:20 AM

The most recent commentator's nightmares are the Bolton player Danny Shittu and the midfielder who played for Crewe Alexander Kenny Lunt. However spare a thought for the poor commentators who worked for Tyne Tees Television's "Shoot" back in the sixties when Paul Kinell played for Sunderland "the ball is sprayed out to the wing for Kinell"

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Mr Happy
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 08:26 AM

....& at the end of the day, we'll be over the moon!

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MikeL2
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 09:39 AM

hi

You are right about the cricket - Brian Johstone is famous for his amusing gaffes -

" He only just managed to get his leg over " etc etc

Cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Les from Hull
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 09:45 AM

"Hemery takes gold, Hennige the silver and who cares who came third? It doesn't matter."

Coleman's famous gaff at the 1968 Olympics was, I think, the start of the Colemanballs feature in Private Eye. Of course it was John Sherwood of Great Britain winning a bronze medal totally ignored by Coleman.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 10:16 AM

I remember when rugby commentators on the radio kept telling us that the referee had blown up!

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 11:46 AM

I have heard it rumoured that, when Brian Johnston [in]famously declared, "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey", he admitted to a friend later that he did so in full knowledge of how it would sound, but with the get-out that nobody could come back at him for anything more than an accurate statement with an unfortunate combination of names for which he was not responsible and did not recognise the implications at the time in the 'heat of the moment'.

I don't know how true this may be.

Out of interest, Peter Willey, now retired from active cricket, has become a professional umpire.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Folkiedave
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 12:55 PM

Gerry Queen (Crystal Palace footballer) got into a fight at a home game.

The Guardian headlined this:

"Queen in Brawl at Palace"

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Smedley
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 01:25 PM

And when the underdogs Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Celtic in a cup-tie, one Scottish newspaper headline read:

Super Calley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious

Whoever thought that one up should have been given early retirement on an extra-generous pension.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: GUEST,Zigger
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 02:27 PM

The Holding-Willey thing is an urban myth. No such commentary was ever broadcast.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM

"the referee's got his notebook out to see what indiscrepancies have been committed."

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 03:38 PM

The oft cited quote:"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey        "
occurred when Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to Peter Willey of England in a Test match at The Oval in 1976. Johnston claimed not to have noticed saying anything odd during the match, and that he was only alerted to his gaffe by a letter from "a lady" named "Miss Mainpiece".[3][4] According to Christopher Martin-Jenkins,[5] the cricinfo biography,[6] and the biography of Brian by Johnston's son Barry,[7] Johnston never actually made the remark. His son says It was too good a pun to resist...but Brian never actually said that he had spoken the words on air. . However, this is contradicted by an account [8] offered by Henry Blofeld, who claims to have been present at the time. ===

Above from Wiki entry on Brian Johnston. The question of whether it was actually said or was an 'urban myth' as urged above seems to me to remain open.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 06:36 PM

"I'd love to be a mole on the wall of that dressing room" -Kevin Keegan.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: The Sandman
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 06:45 PM

mgm,I heard it , so I take no heed of guest Zigger or Frigger Or whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 23 Feb 10 - 10:40 PM

Thank you, Dick. Now I remember, I had another friend [or, to be more exact, his young son] at the time who told me had heard it. It was, now I recall, the youngest son, Tom, of Roy Palmer, one well-known to all of us on this site.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Rasener
Date: 24 Feb 10 - 04:44 AM

I heard it as well.

Sir Bobby Robson

I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about.

Brian Clough

I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine.

Ron Atkinson

I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Les from Hull
Date: 24 Feb 10 - 04:58 AM

My favourite football quote: 'I could nivver play football. Wor Bobby could play football, but I could nivver play football. I could stop other people playing football!' Jack Charlton

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 24 Feb 10 - 05:21 AM

Oh surely everyone's favourite must be, "Football isn't a matter of life and death ~ it's much more important than that." ~ Bill Shankly

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 24 Feb 10 - 05:33 AM

"In order to equalise we need to score a goal" - Brian Clough.

"If I was the sort of person to make excuses, I'd point out the long list of injuries we've had lately." - Peter Taylor


"We're one-nil up, but can we withstand this entourage they're throwing at us? - Matt Piper.

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 25 Feb 10 - 12:08 AM

I heard a commentator just the other day praising a player for "putting his head in where others fear to tread".

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 25 Feb 10 - 04:15 AM

He must have been looking at the world through rose scented glasses!

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Arnie
Date: 25 Feb 10 - 05:40 AM

This match is definitely a game of two halves - Anon. I've never been entirely sure what this means, but it does tend to be used from time to time. My other favourite is 'Leeds (or whoever) are asking all the questions....' I often wonder what all the answers are?

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MikeL2
Date: 25 Feb 10 - 06:53 AM

hi

Not quite on the same thing but it definitely is about footballer's English.

My wife and I play a game now when either listening or watching footballers being interviewed.

We count the number of " you know" in any sentence.

David Beckham once held the record as far as we counted but since being made captain of England he improved markedly.

I watched Robbie Savage being intervied recently and he is in the running to be World Champion " you knower".

The ironic thing is that in this interview he was saying that his career as a footballer is nearing it's end and he intends to become a TV Pundit.....yer know.

cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Acorn4
Date: 25 Feb 10 - 09:30 AM

Actually, I'm a great fan of Robbie Savage, being a part of the great Martin O'Neill Leicester City side about ten years ago. There is a story though of when he played for Leicester and received a bump to the head during a match. The rule is that if a head injury is involved, the player must leave the pitch to receive attention and the ref will normally stop the game until this has happened.

The referee will normally ask the player a question to check if he is concussed. The ref asked Robbie the name of the Prime Minister, and he was duly escorted off the pitch when he failed to come up with the answer.

He does know about football though and will make a good pundit!

The pet phrase at the moment seems to be :- "He's his own man!" (who else's man would he be?)

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: MikeL2
Date: 25 Feb 10 - 10:26 AM

hi acorn

I too have great respect for Robbie Savage. As a footballer he has always been dedicated to the job in hand.....some might say over dedicated !!!

And I have no doubts that his knowledge about the game will be an asset to any potential employer in TV. He is a contaversion character as well - this is always a winner on some TV programs.

I just hope that he does moderate the use of " you know" otherwise his comments will take ages to deliver.
Strictly tongue in cheek here !!!

Cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: Footballers' English
From: Dave Sutherland
Date: 26 Feb 10 - 02:52 AM

Respect - Lilly Savage, surely an oxymoron?
If he does ever become a full time pundit, which would be a nightmare come true, please keep him away from anything to do with Nottingham Forest.