BS: Daftnesses

Subject: BS: Daftnesses
From: Anne Lister
Date: 11 May 08 - 05:47 PM

Today I was singing and storytelling at a local festival with a heavy eco/green agenda, sitting in a yurt (yup) where I was taking turns with a man doing a magic show. We had time between my arrival and his show to chat, and he told me he was originally booked to do a Punch and Judy show, which he's been doing professionally for 27 years. However, two weeks back he was contacted and asked NOT to do the Punch and Judy, on the grounds that the content might be considered offensive. What content, he asked. That stuff with the crocodile, he was told. After all, crocodiles are wild creatures and should be associated with The Wild rather than with the theft of sausages. And that business with the baby. What business with the baby, he asked, as he doesn't do baby bashing or wife bashing in his show, just a few jokes about baby sitting when Punch sits on the baby. No, no, he was told, but if there's a baby people will think about sex.
Now, you might be forgiven for thinking we were saving some very sensitive souls from dreadful subversions here, but the audiences at this festival don't live in some rarefied atmosphere where the table legs have to be covered up in case they make us think about other legs and what they might lead to. The children at this festival watch cartoons and tv shows and DVDs, and play computer games, in which there are far more worrying things than a crocodile stealing sausages or a strangely mis-shaped puppet sitting on a strangely mis-shaped puppet baby, talking in voices that are clearly not real. And I'm quite sure they've seen babies before.
What WERE the organisers thinking?
Has anyone come across anything else as plainly daft as this?
His magic show was good, by the way, but a Punch and Judy would have been great, as well as being a taste of a traditional entertainment. Ah, well.
He thought it was all to do with "political correctness" but for the life of me I can't see the connection. Just daftness.

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 08 - 05:53 PM

This is another case of some self-appointed busybodies who are so obsessed with their own sense of moral rectitude that they could find something offensive or prurient in just about anything they ever came across. Their real desire is control. Control over the lives and minds of others. May they rot and be damned.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:02 PM

I've met a few control freaks.

G

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:02 PM

I suspect that this a case of ONE self-appointed, 'daft', busybody misrepresenting what the organisers were thinking ... Or the magician was having a great time at your expense!

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:13 PM

Just last evening a friend and I were discussing what a nation of wimps we have become (I'm in Canada). OTT political correctness gone wild. Kids who can no longer be around animals in schools lest they accidentally stick a finger up the dog's rear end and then put that finger in their mouths thus contracting some deadly disease. (OK, that's a bit exaggerated, but not much.) Genius has limits. Stupidity doesn't. Next we'll be taking swings out of kids' playgrounds in case they try to a loop the loop. Bloody idiocy, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Megan L
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:19 PM

They already did that in places here instead of chains the swings were put on solid poles

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:28 PM

Well, there was the lady who insisted that my brother's still (used to be grandpa's) wasn't "period" and that he should build a pot still instead of a worm still. She was absolutely correct, and he'd tried for five or six years to have the State Park where we did the demonstrating to have one made (I won't name names, but it's just outside Springfield, Illinois and is closely associated with the early life of Abraham Lincoln). The park had refused because to build even a small pot still would run over a thousand US dollars. My wife got into the act, pointing out that for a village supposedly "embedded" in 1832 a quilt such as was on the bed and for which the earliest known example is from 1851 was ALSO time-inappropriate. "But that quilt's over a hundred years old!" "And still is approaching 82 years old!"

Anyway, one thing led to another and we didn't go back the next year. My brother and I were going to, as night soil collectors with a cart carrying a barrel full of nice, wet, fresh cow poop, but the lady left the employment of the State Park.

For a while (I don't know if it's still true) the US National Park Service wouldn't permit historical re-enactments of the battles of Gettysburg and Yorktown because they didn't want weapons on the battlefields....

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:29 PM

Oh, kids will find a way. I have great faith in their ingenuity.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Bill D
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:34 PM

Every now & then I am reminded of the old story about Dr. Samuel Johnson, compiler of an early dictionary.

   Some ladies came to see him with a complaint. "Dr. Johnson," explained the spokesperson, "There are some improper words in your dictionary!"

"Madam," replied Johnson, "You have been looking for them!"

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 08 - 06:47 PM

The town I live in has one of the best outdoor skateboard parks in western Canada. Kid's chew it from time to time (an expression which I'm told means plow their faces into the cement) or take the skin off various body parts. Guess what? THEY STILL GO!

I get tired of seeing kids live in a world where what they have left by the time they are teens is the ability to watch TV, follow the herd and stay SAFE.

Now the park has rails that the kids do things on with their bicycles. They slide along the rails on some doodad that is attached to the rear axle. And guess what? Sometimes there is a broken bone or two. The kids get their friends to sign it and the derringdoo of the feat they tried to perform but screwed up gets written into the annals of local legend.

I once, despite dire predictions of death or permanent disfigurement, rode a bike with no brakes down Atwater hill in Montreal. Made every light all the way to the bottom. Friggin' near burned a hole through my right sneaker (running shoe) when I had to stop. I was the envy of my friends until two days later when Alan walked over the arch of the bridge that spanned the canal connecting Verdun and Ville Emard. His glory lasted for about week. Than Sandy overshadowed his feat by . . . .

Anyway, have a good evening all.

PS Last I heard both Alan and Sandy are still kickin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 08 - 07:30 PM

Maybe we are heading for a world where courage is passŽ and out of style, eh?

Stay out of the water, don't climb trees, and never mind about the Moon...

Worms unto worms, and no bright fires on the way ... a sorry perspective!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 08 - 07:36 PM

Courage will be found in refusing to comply...

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Bill D
Date: 11 May 08 - 10:41 PM

and I knew a fellow who went down the ramps of a parking garage in a wheelchair, and who used to go out and jump BIG ditches & hills on a Harley Sportster.


he's dead...............








(he was riding his Harley home from work one night...stopped at a stop sign, and a truck ran over him from behind.)

What does it prove? You never know. He 'might' have had bad luck on one of those ditches...

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 08 - 11:42 PM

We used to walk out onto the railroad bridge across the Mississippi from the Missouri side, swing out over the side onto a ladder, climb down the ladder and swing back onto a covered catwalk, cross the river on the catwalk, and repeat the process on the Illinois side. Then to get back we'd reverse it.

The bridge itself was about fifty feet above the water and the covered catwalk was covered on three sides -- only the bottom was perforated, and you could see the river below. We did this at night, lighting our way along the catwalk by the light of cigarettes.

One of the guys who did it I know is dead -- from lung cancer from cigarettes. Don't know whatever happened to the other two.

We did this, of course, because it was forbidden.

Just like we swiped beer (in the 8th grade) to drink on Boy Scout campouts and de-pantsed younger Scouts who finked to the Scout Leaders. Oh...the guy who stole the beer is now the Scoutmaster, one of those involved picked up a Silver Star in Vietnam, another got the Army Commendation Medal for running MEDCAPs in 'Nam....

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 May 08 - 04:02 AM

our local radio station has a RANT segment each week, where readers can vent their spleens about stuff that pi**es them off & one woman recently
shared her feelings about the Primary School that won't allow soap for handwashing as soap collects germs. She had pointed out the the School Admin that thoroughly WASHING off the soap removes any germs that might gather on her child's dirty hands after they had picked up the soap, to no avail.

So kids use the loo, hold their hands under the tap & maybe dry them & then continue on their daily activities, school work, eating, playing with other kids ...

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 12 May 08 - 05:05 AM

The last Punch & Judy man I shared a yurt with had characters such as Pappa-Rotti, the flatulent Italian tenor, and, if I remember rightly, PC Barf the vomiting policeman. The whole show was a bawdy extravaganza that occasional nudged the obscene, but which nevertheless had the family audience rolling off their hay bales, thus causing in the poor storyteller much consternation as to what he might come up with to follow it!

This was back in the heady days of 1995, at the Allansford Country Fair where the picturesque River Derwent still forms the ancient border between Country Durham and Northumberland. It was here, according to Robert Graves in The White Goddess, that the celebrated 17th century witch Isobel Gowdie had one of her covens - Grave's expansion of Gowdie's famous shape-shifting incantation I shall go into a hare... is called The Allansford Pursuit.

Rising to the challenge of the P&J man, I sang this as part of that visceral old chestnut about Jack the Poacher catching a hare whilst a constipated gamekeeper dumps his load behind a hedge. Not sure if Mudcat is quite the place for a full exposition of this story, but I do have a complete transcript of me telling it some years back - PM me if you're interested!

Anyhoo, they loved the poacher story - even the P&J man was impressed with that (one shudders to think how he might have incorporated it into his act), but one couple objected to the witchcraft, no matter how historical the witchcraft might have been. They also objected to the predatory nature of the song, wherein a hound chases a hare, a swallow chases a bee, an otter chases a trout and (horror of horrors!) a cat chases a mouse. They made their complaint (as they said they would) to the relevant party who contacted me forthwith, pointing out that it was all right because they were Jehovah's Witnesses.   

I remember doing school in Sunderland once where I was assigned two Jehovah's Witness kids to show me the ropes as it were. The head pointed out that she'd done this because, whilst in all probability my stories wouldn't be suitable for them to listen to, she wanted to involve them in my my visit. When I enquired how my stories wouldn't be suitable, she said they weren't allowed to hear anything that involved the supernatural. By the time it came to tell to their class, we were such good mates that I made sure none of my stories involved the supernatural in any shape or form, choosing those good old Asbjorsen & Moe domestics like The Man Who Kept House and The Axe Handle, with Lazy Jack and Don Niperi Septo thrown in for good measure, though I might have slipped up with a talking frog at one point...

Daftnesses? At times I might wonder...

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 08 - 09:27 AM

Had a call from a man last Friday. He had found a wallet belonging "to a young man" which had the YM's driver's license and library card in it.    Because there was no phone directory listing, he wanted me to give him the YM's phone number so he could call him and let him know that his driver's license had been found. I declined, citing State Law (which is true; library records are confidential). But also:

1. He did not identify himself in any way.
2. With sexual predation as it is I wouldn't have done if it had been legal and he had given his name.

I did suggest that he drop it off at the police station but he said that would be "inconvenient." (Yes, a LOT of red flags went up in my mind at this.)

He called back later, wanting to know how to spell my name so he could write a Letter To The Editor. At this I called the Mayor's Office and gave them a "heads up."

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Acorn4
Date: 12 May 08 - 11:05 AM

We visited a country park near Nottingham which had a Robin Hood theme -there were portakabins which were "eco-toilets" -the U-bends in these toilets were a bit wider than those of a normal pan, and notices were posted the gist of which were "do not lose your children down the toilet!".

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 08 - 11:10 AM

I love signs that say, "Do not pet the bears."
I love signs that say, "Sewage Treatment Plant: NO SWIMMING."

Folks, some people should never be let out alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: GUEST,Mrr at work
Date: 12 May 08 - 11:26 AM

Now, YOU say, Control Freak Who?

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 12 May 08 - 12:15 PM

There was a sewage plant on the outskirts of Durham City warning the would-be intruder of Sludge Lagoons. An oxymoron? Or just a lovely juxtaposition of two opposing sentiments? Or is it just the incurable romantic in me, forever dreaming of some South-Sea Isle, with dusky maidens basking to the Exotic Sounds of Martin Denny...

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 May 08 - 12:25 PM

On entering the Sussex coastal town of Hastings there is a sign that proudly advertises Hastings as "the Birthplace of Television. Warning Town Centre CCTV in operation 24hrs".... if only they'd known...


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 08 - 12:25 PM

YA don't want to mess with a combat veteran who also has a hotline to the Mayor's office -- there's no winning options left to you!! :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Acorn4
Date: 12 May 08 - 01:37 PM

Apparently Sir Robert Watson Watt, inventor of radar, which helped secure victory for the allies, was caught by a speed trap just before his death -ironic or what?

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 08 - 01:41 PM

Bought a wood router some years back that had the warning "Not for medical or dental procedures." There was also the sign on the toilet that read "Do Not Drink The Water."

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Anne Lister
Date: 12 May 08 - 04:35 PM

Now, as to written directions - our favourite was the set of instructions that came with our wedding cake. Telling us to use a knife to cut it. I seem to recall diagrams, too.

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Slag
Date: 12 May 08 - 05:06 PM

Little Hawk! I am shock and dismayed that you used the term "rectitude"! What evil thinking THAT word leads to!

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 12 May 08 - 05:28 PM

Political correctness and the skateboarding/bicycling examples are apples and oranges.

I do part time security work and we don't allow skateboarding/skating on property. "Trick" bikeriding is also not allowed. All because some parent decided that somehow the mall is responsible if the child "eats it".

There is also a small element among the skateboarding community that would involve people's cars in their tricks causing damage to the vehicles.

We tell them the rules, if they see fit to break them we bar/ban them from the mall indefinitely.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 08 - 05:38 PM

There's a damned fine skateboard park here; it cost almost USD 200,000. Library property is considered a City Park and skateboarding is banned, mostly because of skateboarders who ran people down.

I don't care how YOU hurt yourself, just don't hurt someone else in the process.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: GUEST,Chief
Date: 12 May 08 - 06:57 PM

Couldn't agree with you more Rapaire! Unless something goes horribly wrong with the equipment the management should never be held liable for any accidents due to your use of the facilities. Unfortunately the ambulance chasers have killed off anyone who thought they were providing people with fun opportunities.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Jeanie
Date: 13 May 08 - 08:15 AM

As the trains pull in to Stratford railway station - and at no other station on the line into London, even though the set-up is exactly the same in all of them - a recorded message is played: "Please take care when leaving the train." Well, no, just for that, I will NOT. I will get out backwards with my eyes shut, hopping on my right leg and pointing due North with my left arm, waving my handbag in an anticlowise direction and pointing due South with my nose. So there !

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Peace
Date: 13 May 08 - 12:20 PM

There's always a rebel in the crowd!

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 13 May 08 - 09:40 PM

Relax Peace,

They'll be hit by the train eventually (the reason for the message to which they're rebelling)thus removing themselves from the gene pool permanently.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 May 08 - 12:48 AM

In Juneau Alaska, they have removed see-saws from the parks because of their potential for injury. What have been put in are various climbing and sliding things, all plastic and highly colo(u)red.

But the logo on the sign board posted at the entrance to the parks is- you guessed it -a see-saw.

Subject: RE: BS: Daftnesses
From: strad
Date: 14 May 08 - 07:33 AM

Don't know if it's still there but on a field gate at Arundel Castle in Sussex the sign read "Do not interfere with the horses"