BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...

Subject: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 02:21 AM

So, when do you figure that Chongo is gonna throw in the towel...or would it be the banana peel?...and finally give up his run for the presidency?

He hasn't shown any tendency to quit yet. Chongo is not a quitter. To the contrary, the American Primate Party has only stepped up its campaign in recent days, holding big rallies in seven different major centres from Boston, Massachussets to Portland, Oregon. Working from his original base in the Chicago area, Chongo has branched out across the country, spreading the word "through the grapevine" to restless chimpanzees, gorillas, baboons, orangutans, bonobos, and monkeys of all varieties...as well as human beings who are looking for a real alternative to "business as usual" in Washington, D.C.

From the way the mainstream media has blacked them out, you'd think the APP didn't even exist! Well, tell that to the 25,000 screaming apes and monkeys who showed up to greet Chongo when his bus pulled into Boise, Idaho earlier today. I bet most people don't even know there are 25,000 simians in Boise.

Still, the pundits are inclined to discount Chongo's popular support and one described his campaign as "a Quixotic and futile exercise driven by a gigantic ego that is out of touch with reality". If questioned, they say he has no chance of being elected and will surely face the inevitable and call off his campaign before Labor Day.

I'm bettin' he'll hang in a lot longer than that.

Anyone care to make a prediction?

Get up out of your chair and call 1-800-APE-2008 or go to the website ChongoChimpforPresident.com and make your pledge now! Send small denomination unmarked bills, please!

Yes, donate to the APP now and put a REAL chimp in the White House for a change! (we've had quite enough of the ersatz chimps)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 07:49 AM

Not to fret, LH... Word is that Obama uis plannin' a secret meetin' with Chongo early next week so I'd say by Wednesday, Chongo will be a free agent again... BTW, has Chongo told you what he's gonna ask from Obama in exchange for stepping out of the way???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 08:28 AM

...holding big rallies in seven different major centres from Boston....

He may as well hang it up immediately. We don't have centres in the US, we have centers. How does Chongo expect to be elected if he campaigns in places that don't exist?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 09:02 AM

Especially if the "centres" were places like Stone, Idaho; Seehorn, Illinois; Roy, Utah; Flint Ridge, Kansas and Belle Fouche, South Dakota -- to name five of the seven.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 09:54 AM

Why do I keep reading this thread title as "Chongo's Bow-wow date contest..." and thinking he's running a racket where the winner gets a date with a real dog -- maybe a labrador retriever?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 11:06 AM

Them are the kind of dates you most normely go on, eh, Rapaire? Arf! Arf!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Skivee
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 01:56 PM

I thought he crapped out weeks back. Maybe that was just me wishfully thinkin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 02:09 PM

He just had a temporary setback there with "Gorilla-Gate", but he weathered that storm after a week or two of denials and testimonials and sucking up to the Gorilla community.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Slag
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 04:51 PM

Yes Chongo! Stay in the race. I would much rather to vote FOR somebody than against! And that's what would happen if I were forced to vote for Spongebob. We really don't want him in office. With Patrick Star just one bad squeeze away from the presidency our nation would be in pearl, er, I mean, peril!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 05:05 PM

Since he's a third party candidate, I can't imagine why he would want to bow out before the general election. He doesn't have to worry about primaries like the Democrats and the Republicans did. Up until now, I figured he was maintaining a low profile (and saving his money) until the primaries were over, and then he was going to do his real campaigning.

So when is he coming to coastal North Carolina? I'd like to go hear him speak and maybe buy a Chongo T-shirt and some buttons. Do you think he'll be giving out banana hats?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 05:12 PM

I'd like to hear him speak, too. It would really let me I had finally arrived in Wonderland.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Slag
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 05:40 PM

OOOO-ooo-ooo-ooo! I like the way you think CarolC! Sign me up for a couple of "T"s in XXL-T and the Banana Hat is a must!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Joe Offer
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 05:58 PM

So, June 7 (today) was the bow-out date, right? Yesterday and Tuesday night were just an early warning.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 07:29 PM

I think North Carolina could be anytime soon. Get ready to have your socks knocked off when Chongo hits town!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 07:36 PM

Errr... Joe... I think you have this thread confused with the Hillary bow out thread. Chongo is a chimpanzee private detective from Chicago. Hillary is a human Senator from New York. Chongo went to college at the School of Hard Knocks. Hillary went to Wellesley and Yale. But, hey, scientists say they share 99% of the same DNA so I can see how someone could make that mistake.

Chongo, on the other hand, might be a bit offended by your faux pas. If you receive a plain, unmarked parcel in the mail during the next few days you might want to have it X-rayed before opening it. It'll probably just be rotten bananas or chimpanzee poop, but I'd play it safe if I were you.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 07:51 PM

Just my socks?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 08:07 PM

Let's just say I am open to all contingencies, Carol.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 11:19 PM

If Chongo has a bow out date was today Pillery's curtsy out date?

Which begs the question "can ya curtsy in a pant suit?"

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 05:57 PM

Breaking News!

Some spoiler in an unnamed party has just released pictures of Ronnie Raygun and a baby chimp that looks suspisciously like Chongo inferring that Chongo is closer to the current neo-conservatives than to the Democrats/Liberals. It's followed by side by side photos of GWB and Chongo in strongly similar poses. I guess they're going for a "twin brother lost at birth" angle.
Thought you'd want to know!

Chongo '08!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:23 PM

That unnamed party would be the Gorilla Party, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 09:38 PM

So the muckrakers and liars are up to their dirty tricks again, are they? Well, this won't stick. That photo ain't of me, it's a photo of my old friend Bonzo, and just between you and me...he thought Ronald Reagan was an idiot. But work is work, right? Bonzo got hired for the part in Reagan's movie and he gave it his best shot even though he had to take second billing to that useless tinhorn no-good actor. The fact is, Bonzo could act way better than Reagan, but Reagan was a Hollywood star, right? You know how that works.

Bonzo was also in a buncha Tarzan flicks. They wasn't all played by Cheetah. Sometimes Cheetah was busy in New York doin' stage work and then Bonzo was in the Tarzan films.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 10:10 PM

Guy put up a picture in the Legion Hovel of someone who looks A LOT like Chongo (complete with gat) sharing a couple of bananas with Karl Rove (who looks a lot like Karl Rove).

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:01 PM

But what about the Bush pictures Chongo? Please tell this believer it just ain't so! I don't think I could handle it if there was any blood relation between you and the pResident!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo's Bow-out date contest...
From: GUEST,JTS
Date: 09 Jun 08 - 07:42 PM

Stranger things have happened.

Is Cheney really related to Obama?