BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business

Subject: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:54 PM

Well chaps, Midsummer is here, Solstice greetings to all, it's downhill from now on and less than 6 months til Christmas!

Pull up a cane chair, pour me a Long Island Iced tea, put the AC on high and light the mosquito repelling candle...

Here in the UK we're still waiting for the long hot evenings, although it's still pretty light up til 9.30-10.00pm, it's been a bit breezy for sitting out in the evening.

So open up the big shutters on the side of the Tavern and let's get those sunsets going!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Wesley S
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:55 PM

I'll be the designated driver.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: beardedbruce
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:56 PM

Where's the crocodile?

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Nice sunset!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM

In he saunters, an American, dripping with guns: .45s, .38s, .32s, .44s, .357s, .22s, .36s, .17s, 9mms, 7.65mms, 7.62x39Rs, 7.62x54NATOs, .303s,, 5.56mms, .50s, a blunderbuss, two matchlocks, four wheellocks, a snaphance, a handgonne, a sixteen-pounder, a brass Napoleon, a Parrott rifle, five Krag-Jorgensons, a trapdoor Springfield, three copies of Beecher's Bible, and a whole lot of other crap.

"Excuse me," he politely says to the barman, "but would you have some place I can dump all this crap? It's okay, I never carry any ammunition. And I'd like some lemonade straight up."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:35 PM

If you'll take a look out the Texas side of the establishment you'll see the evenings aren't getting below about 80 (means the tomatoes have to be pollinated artificially now). I walked around the outside of the building spraying my garlic tea, so the mosquitoes will vamoose for the time being, and it will smell like a fine Italian restaurant.

Does someone have one of those big ol' porch glider-type of swings? That would be nice out on the porch.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:22 PM

And the spectacular sunsets are on the California side, mostly due to the quantity of wildfire smoke in the air. Blazing, lurid, red-orange sunsets they are...but look at 'em through the windoiw, don't sit outside; the air out there is foul!

Rapaire, didja bring any Moose Drool?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:32 PM

A change from the traditional crocks of the usual stuff, Bruce. It'll be here "after a while", as Bill Haley or Bobby Charles would say.

In the meantime, we can practice somging "Camping In Cayman Land" along with Reno & Smiley (or Harrell) and hold a contest to finish a joke starting with:

"Now, this crocodile comes into a bar and says to the bartender......"

....and the one who comes closest to what the crocodile actually says when he or she finally gets here gets a prize yet to be decided on.

That way, the Giant Squid might have an easier time of it this year. I've heard he's coming, so forewarned is ten-armed. And, for once, Rapaire will make sure that someone ("The American") will even have more arms than the squid. Even Wyatt or Wild Bill didn't bring that much iron into a saloon.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Severn
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:40 PM

Make that,"practice singing". I didn't mean to cast a misspell on you people. I'll leave that to whoever wanders back with "the wand".

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 09:21 PM

Ain't none of that ironmongery that works; it's all welded shut and the barrels plugged. I'm just haulin' it off to a metal sculptor who wants to melt it down.

Moose Drool? Certainly, m'dear. Now that I've had my lemonade it's time to Drool.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:41 AM

Well if we're going to do this, let's do it right....

Ok, I want these lace edged table cloths put out on the tables and I've some proper teapots and cups for the iced tea, let's clear out the moose droppings and that jello pit needs a change of jello. Come on, shake a leg, don't make me get all Mary Poppins on you....!

I've got a couple of jugs of pimms made up and ready to go. That'll do for you lot.... (What??? I don't like pimms!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: freda underhill
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 08:15 AM

It's a cool winter dusk, looking out the estern window across Rushcutter's bay to Sydney harbour. I see a sheet of pale blue sky, sparkling city lights, dozens of white boats bobbing in the bay, and dark buildings rising up against the skyline.

aaah, a sip of a cool drink, and the sounds of a guitar picking out "Four Little Johnny Cakes.."

under the table, a blue cattle dog named fred hums along..

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 08:28 AM

Ask fred if he knows 'I ride an old paint'

Too warm to cook; but there's a selection of cold salads and cold cuts on the sideboard. Serviche, sushi and sashimi are back in the cooler.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Schantieman
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 08:31 AM

Lady P!!!!

How can you not like Pimm's?

How can ANYONE not like Pimm's? Even better than G & T

Steve
(in Liverpool, the California of England. Well, we've got the sun setting over the sea, anyway. Not that we can see it at the moment......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 09:08 AM

More Moose Drool, por favor. Iffen yer out I'll have some Bitch Creek.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 09:11 AM

We're out of the room temp Moose Drool in the open jugs. Have a couple of chilled bottles...Will those do?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 09:57 AM

The grill is heating up outside, and the applewood chips are soaking.

I've got a big bowl of Woody's Cook-In' Sauce here to marinate stuff in. I'm doing catfish, corn, and a couple of gallimimus haunches I found in the freezer out back. Anyone else have something for the grill?

Ahhh! That Moose Drool is the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MarkS
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:40 AM

Silly River Sage

That garlic tea of yours sounds like a great idea.
Would you post your recipe?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: frogprince
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:47 AM

"lace edged table clothes" ?? Maybe I've never suspected how much difference there is in the connotations of the word "tavern" on either side of the pond. : )

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:54 AM

That's just Lady P; but every time she insist on the lace edge tablecloths the Giant Squid cly fakes 'em for wipes.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 11:01 AM

Schantieman!! Wash your mouth out!!! Pimms better than a G&T?!?!? You can't seriously believe that I, the only currently serving Gin Fairy Acolyte, can possibly promite that kind of idea?!?!?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:00 PM

I want some of that 18th Century London gin...the stuff they were drinking when they posed for Hogarth.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: maire-aine
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:10 PM

I'll take a gin and Schweppes bitter lemon, with lots of ice, please. Now if I can find a spot where there's just a bit of a breeze. Hello, there.

Maryanne

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:35 PM

What a good idea! The Moose Drool is about gone, anyway.

I don't suppose there's any Schweppes Bitter Orange, is there? Maybe in the Way-Back fridge...you know, the one next to the freezer where I got the gallimimus, and where I think last year's aurochs came from?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 01:57 PM

Let's see what we have. Bitter Lemon, Bitter Melon, Bitter Lime, Bitter Strawberry. . . ???????

What a minute, sorry - the last two are SCHLEPPES, not SCHWEPPES.   Sorry.....

*rummages around some more*

A-HA! Found a bottle - bit dusty though...does Schewppes have a "best by" date?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ClaireBear
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 02:46 PM

Doesn't matter; in the Wayback Fridge whatever is in there is good forever.

Aaahhhhh! Schweppervescence!

Hmmm, I wonder what else is in there?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 03:25 PM

You might not want to know....

More Moose Drool, si vous plait.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 03:41 PM

The west batwing doors swing apart, slammed to their limit by the nose of a huge 1939 Indian motorcycle in full roar, taking a flying leap up from the hearthstone and landing with a graceful, squealing, 270-degree skid which brings it up alongside the jello pool neatly lined up at the edge. A towering, lanky Stranger with a three-day growth of beard slaps the kickstand down with his foot, shuts down the throbbing engine, and swings off the saddle, pausing to unstrap a glistening 1967 Dreadnought from its case. He is wearing a floppy, tawny Stetson that has seen too many miles of road, a kidney-belt decorated with dozens of precious stones, tight jeans, a chamois Wetsern shirt with leather ties, and a long dustjacket, which he pulls off and leaves hanging over the bike's handlebars.

Well, I need a break. There's no sign of thatgal high or low, East or West, near or far. I been through three sets of rings, two brake jobs, eleven tires and about 1300 tanks of fuel. Dang me, I am tired of this shit, of that there is no mistake, I tell ya.

Hey barkeep, ya got any fine dark stuff in that cooler? A quart glass, if you don't mind, with my thanks. Dusty road, long, long, long. Damn. Good stuff. Just charge it to the Reg brothers, wouldja? Pat says its okay. Thanks....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 04:21 PM

Dishevelled stranger stumbles in with a battered hat, dirty clothes and a parched throat.

He staggers up to the bar and bangs an empty pewter mug down, rasping at the barman ...

"... A gallon of meade to slake my thirst and soothe my head ..."

"... my daughters best friend is having a sleep over at my house tomight and I have decided I would rather a little pugilistic frivolity with mike tyson ... anyone know where he is? ..."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 04:40 PM

I may have to be prised off that 1939 Indian with a crowbar and a jar of vaseline....

One of my all time favourite bikes, even when driven by an incontinent Anthony Hopkins (The World's Fastest Indian).

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 04:42 PM

Rapaire, as I type I am drinking the only London Dry Gin to still be made in London...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 05:13 PM

And there's me with me bottle of tap water.... something is definately wrong here....


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 05:18 PM

Well, okay, I'd like some Indian Whiskey then, please. And don't stint on the strychnine!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:16 PM

Sage swings her feet down from the porch glider and heads into the tavern to see what all the noise is about. She sees at least four squid tentacles slowly emerge from the jello pit and begin probing and fondling the Indian motorcycle. Something tells me he parked a l-i-t-t-l-e too close to the jello pit, she thinks to herself.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: ranger1
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:30 PM

The little Ranger wanders in, covered in grease and hydraulic fluid, after a day of dealing with crisis after crisis (of course it's the manager's day off!).

"A nice cold bottle of decent beer, please."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 07:00 PM

Hi ya'll! Can't stay - I'm packing boxes tonight and gotta start painting this weekend.   Anybody interested in helping paint for a little beer money?

What's that, lox? No. You'll get the money After you're done painting. Gotta run. Just show up tomorrow if you're interested.

Those near the door hear the old Merc Sable as the engine fires, the sound of tires on gravel, and then, "Oh crap."

Uhmmm. Awfully sorry to whoever belonged to that little crocodile out in the parking lot. Now I know what that bump was when I pulled in. Sorry....really.....it might not be dead yet, if you want to check.

Welllll. Bye!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 06:12 AM

I'll come and help paint, but you'll have to get me off this Indian bike first.. and tell that squid that where his #5 tentacle is, is NOT where the camshaft goes.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: DMcG
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:05 AM

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper, copper coffee pot.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:28 PM

"Proper" and "Mudcat Tavern" don't go together in this particular venue, mate! Have a beer instead! One Moose Drool for the newcomer!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:47 PM

How about a Dead Guy?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Janie
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 11:13 PM

Jeez, none of you showed up. Must be a well-heeled crowd. After spending the day ignorantly reinventing the wheel when it comes to painting, and not accomplishing much, I'm ready for a long, cold Moose Drool! Shove it on down the bar, and keep them coming, friend.

Hope I can move when the alarm goes off in the morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:59 AM

At least you can move far enough to smash the alarm and go back to sleep. :)

Well, I listed a dulcimer at eBay this evening (I'm keeping the better one). What's a good drink and salute combo to wish it well in it's new home (and wish for a high final bid!)?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 01:21 AM

I was just awakened by an explosion and I guess I thought I was back on the DMZ.

Knob Creek, please. Straight up. A lot of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 01:26 AM

How's the leg, Rap? Limping at all, or are you managing to keep a steady supply of liquid refreshment going to keep it comfortable? Stay away from the jello pit and watch out for the squid, I've heard he's as bad as our old cat and will pick off any band-aids or bandages he notices.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 04:14 AM

Wow. Glad to see the old place still open. Hoppin, in fact!
I'll have a cold bottle of Sol, and a banana daiquiri for my monkey, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 05:13 AM

I feel a bout of retail therapy coming... anyone else want to join me in the craft store? We can buy stuff to make lace doilies for the tables and pretty embroidered tops for the jam (jelly) jars and then we can go to the gun store and buy something to shoot whosever idea it was to put frilly tablecloths on the tables in the roughest tavern on the 'Net.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 05:34 AM

(drunkenly)
I never drink Moose Drool, 'cos Mouse Drool has froth
And one little sip turns a saint to a Goth
Can you imagine the utter disgrace
Of lying in the gutter with a moose on your face?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: lady penelope
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 11:59 AM

Are you offering me violence Liz? *G* I dunno, some people have no sense of humour...

As for retail therapy, the nearest I'm getting to that is going out for some spare guy ropes and sprung toggles to finish making the firepit cover (no, not in gigham....) and possibly a rucksack that I can use for 'carry on' luggage.

Mmmm....I feel the call of the cider barrel.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: MMario
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:01 PM

Of course not in gingham; a firepit cover properly should be in tuile.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for business
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 12:38 PM

How about some throw(up) rugs from Dollar General Store? Toss 'em straight into the washer when they've caught the flavor of the hour, so to speak. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Midsummer Tavern open for busines
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 01:12 PM

THe stranger finishes an energetic rendition of "Big Ball in Boston", a miusical seine into which he has fortunately drawn a rambling mandolinist and a passing banjoist, and they close the tune with a flourish of wild unfettered bluegrass licks. He calmly puts the dreadnaught down in a safe place and walks over the the cooling INdian, and peels the tentacles back from the shiny cylinders. He walks them back to the jello pit and slops them onto the head of the giant squid and speaks softly but firmly to the Squid in his native language. The squid promises to behave and keep his hands off the motorcycle.

Terrific versification, McG!!

Hey keep, have you got a Fat Bastard back there?


A