my father

Subject: my father
From: goatfell
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 03:09 PM

i don't know if this would do but yesterday (17th August) my father would of been 84, and yes I still miss him and my mum

Subject: RE: my father
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 07:29 PM

Tom, the 16th of August would have been my brother's birthday and yes, I too still miss him. These milestones remain, don't they.

Subject: RE: my father
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 07:53 PM

They sure do, Ebbie.

I had an uncanny experience last night, just as I was going to sleep. I sometimes get a "mental" reminder of an aroma long forgotten, a favourite perfume, cologne, etc. I don't know what triggers it, except that there is never any actual scent in the physical air around me. Last night, I had a very distinct *scent* of my mom's nightime face cream. She used something from Avon and would come tuck me in at night after she'd put some on, so I associate it with her and bedtime. Hadn't thought of it in some time, so it kind of hit me out of left field last night. Sure made me miss her, again and forever.

Tom, we honour them by remembering. Thanks for sharing with us.

Subject: RE: my father
From: Peace
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 07:56 PM

"i don't know if this would do but yesterday (17th August) my father would of been 84, and yes I still miss him and my mum"

My grandfather died on August 3, 1960. This year for the first time in 48 years on that date I smiled.

Subject: RE: my father
From: olddude
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 08:11 PM

I lost my dad at 14, he was coming home from work and hit a guard rail on the road at 25 mph. Said he was ok, walked the 1 block to my house. The steering wheel hit him just right and broke an artery inside. He walked in and fell over. That was that. I still wake up sometimes in tears. No matter what we always miss them terribly don't we

Subject: RE: my father
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 08:25 PM

Share a story about your father, goatfell...

B~

Subject: RE: my father
From: Emma B
Date: 18 Aug 08 - 08:32 PM

I was raised by my maternal grandmother and inherited many of her traits too :)

Her birthday was the middle of August - it's been nearly 50 years but I miss her everyday.

Subject: RE: my father
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 01:13 AM

Hate to get into personal stuff..but, what the heck...My daughter and son lost their mother at the ages of 20 months, and 7 1/2 months respectively. He was still nursing.

Subject: RE: my father
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 02:52 AM

You know, if we didn't know better, we'd say death is impossible.

(And maybe, just maybe, it is.)

Subject: RE: my father
From: goatfell
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 08:19 AM

a story about my dad, ran away from Scotland and ended up in America, and he went to Ellis Island, and he also joined the American Navy, and then he came back via Canada and he's been to Halifax (Canada) and he joined the Fleet Air Arm, he was also Colour blind so his job was believe it or not but he worked with the electrics on the planes, how they won the war is anyone's guess, and he was also a worked in a paint shop mixing paint great job for someone who was colour blind, he could tell the difference between green and black, and he also liked to play snooker/pool.

there is a quite a lot of stories I could tell about my father but what I have just written there is all true.

Subject: RE: my father
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 19 Aug 08 - 09:33 PM

Yep- I'm missing my dad a lot these days. How he would have enjoyed knowing my sweetie, Hunt. They never met.
I said goodbye to my dad so many times- he left when I was 16, then his mind started leaving over 10 years ago. When he died in May it was no surprise, but still the final goodbye is the hardest.
But I do believe those we loved who die are just in the next room, their energy a part of Being, as we are, though we don't often know it.

Subject: RE: my father
From: Michael S
Date: 20 Aug 08 - 06:37 PM

Indulge this please--January 29, 2008 was the 40th anniversary of my father's death from lung cancer. I was 13 at the time, and though old enough to remember him, I was not old enough to ever learn what he was truly all about.

On that anniversary, I idly typed his full name into the google search engine. On the surface, this was a ridiculous act. My father was a mailman, not a profession likely to allow him to live on in contemporary cyberspace. The first screen that popped up referenced an ancestry search posted on a genealogy discussion forum. Long story short--the searcher was a first cousin. Her father died in the 1950s when she was a child. He and my father were brothers.

This cousin (and her sister) were not mysteries to my sisters and me, and we were not mysteries to them. The older girls on each side remember playing together when young, and each family has pictures of the other. But after the deaths of our respective fathers, the widows (our mothers), who lived in different states and were perhaps a bit overwhelmed, lost touch. It turns out that the cousin I stumbled upon had been looking for us for years.

There followed an orgy of emailing and the exchange of pictures and ancestry info (a hobby of my cousin). The anniversary date--the date of discovery--was consumed by such activity, which has continued. My oldest sister has already visited my cousin, traveling from California to New England to do so.

This all stemmed from a wistful remembrance of my father, who died 40 years ago, and whom I never really knew. I always wished I had known him, and that good wish led to this somewhat remarkable reunion.

Michael Scully
Austin, TX

Subject: RE: my father
From: goatfell
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 09:10 AM

this song was written by Johnny Cash about his Brother Jack, but I suppose it could be about anyone really, my dad and mum.

At my door the leaves are falling
A cold wild wind has come
Sweethearts walk by together
And I still miss someone

I go out on a party
And look for a little fun
But I find a darkened corner
because I still miss someone

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes
I see them every where
I miss those arms that held me
When all the love was there

I wonder if she's sorry
For leavin' what we'd begun
There's someone for me somewhere
And I still miss someone

Subject: RE: my father
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 05:08 PM

It's my Dear Dad's birthday today..he'd have been 95 years old if he hadn't given up birthdays 19 years back. :0) I can't even recall the date he died now, but I never forget the date he lived.

He was kind, gentle, quiet and shy...and he always gave me his Queen when we played chess. I never did get to beat him, darn it! And nor did anyone else, for he was the best chess player ever, always several moves ahead of you. He never mastered that technique in life though, for he found life a puzzling place to be, and so took one step at a time.

He was happiest in his garden, making his flowers grow, smelling his roses, especially his Peace rose, which grew right beside the lounge window. He'd often stand just looking at it, remembering the war. War was a huge puzzle to him and had scarred him deeply.

He was nearly 20 years older than my Mum, so I grew up inbetween two generations, but his always seemed the gentler of the two.

He told me once, when I was little, that his favourite colour was blue, and after that I bought him presents in every shade of it for decades, which always made him smile. He was the only person I ever knew who could eat HALF a chocolate praline Bouchee elephant one day, and the other half several days later. (I haven't inherited his self-control) ;-)

I could never make him laugh when I tickled him as a child..which used to frustrate me terribly, as you only had to come within inches of me, in the tickling stakes department, and I'd be helpless with laughter for hours. I tickled him often though, just in case. :0)

And he told me that a sense of humour was the most important thing in life, because it got you through the grim times and gave you strength. Heck, I think he knew what lay ahead, because, you know, it works. :0)

Anyway, today was the day my Dad lived.

Happy Birthday, Dad x

Subject: RE: my father
From: Hawker
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 07:05 PM

As several of you know, My dad died on 20th September 2007, and I still find myself crying like a baby at the silliest things that remind me of him. The other day, on clearing a cupboard, I found a polythene bag containing 3 pairs of pyjamas that my mum had given me after dad died, for my other half to wear 'if he was ever in hospital!' I decided that I would pinch a pair and just wear the top half, I put it on and felt immediately hugged, the pyjamas still smelled of my dad - probably his aftershave, or a different washing powder to the one we use, but it was a smell we all associated with him, even the kids said ooooh Mum that smells of Grandpa John!, both kids and me spent a few moments sniffing my 'new pyjamas' and enjoying the warmth at the memories which that smell triggered.
I would neer have thought I could gain so much comfort from a smell, and I know it sounds weird, but for us it was a special moment, and a comforting one.
Cheers, Lucy

Subject: RE: my father
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Aug 08 - 07:41 PM

Michael, that is really neat...finding your cousins and all and in such a seemingly unlikely way!

Lizzie, my mom's favourite rose was the Peace rose, also, plus her sister's married name was Peace, so it really had a special place in her heart.

Lucy, I've been trying to remember the name of the night cream my mom used. She got it from Avon, but they've changed all of their bottles so I can't tell which it might be, if they even still have it. Anyway, I had a memory of its scent the other night and I've been wanting to buy a jar of it ever since, just for the fragrance. Mom would tuck me into bed after she'd "done her face" and I'll never forget that scent. It would be a comfort to have some on hand.:-)

Subject: RE: my father
From: maeve
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 05:39 AM

Most of my work clothes, sweaters, and shoes were my dad's, and yes Hawker, I wear his pajamas, too.

Goatfell- My father was also colorblind- green/red. They wanted him in the army for camouflage work for that reason, but his bad knees and very flat feet kept him out of the service. He became a beloved college professor and a minister with a gift for healing congregations in turmoil; the most truly Christian person I have ever known, and the wisest.

He taught me to sing for the joy of it although he could hardly match note to note, and much of what I know about the natural world and gardening I learned from him. I learned to make woven Christmas paper stars and a host of other paper crafts from my dad, too, and once took a weaving class with him. As a result of his love for my mother and hers for him I waited a very long time until I could be married to my True Love, who loves me with the same wisdom and devotion.

I sang at his memorial service and then remained unable to sing out for two years afterwards. This month I sang alone in a folk festival. Today marks the fourth anniversary of his death; every day I live marks his life.

Subject: RE: my father
From: goatfell
Date: 22 Aug 08 - 07:29 AM

My father and my mother both loved singing, as a matter of fact the house that I stay in now still has memories of them singing around the house.

And when I sing now on my own I sometimes sing songs that they sang, so I sing songs that my dad and mum sang.

Subject: RE: my father
From: GUEST,BigDaddy
Date: 23 Aug 08 - 03:15 AM

Lost my father last October 6 (2007). He was 88, so he was with me for 55 years. I guess that should be enough but it wasn't. Still haven't brought myself to deal with much of it...haven't cleared out his house completely...haven't even tried to sell it...I go there with good intentions but end up either sitting down in his chair and just sort of drift, or sit down in a chair facing his and picture him there...still call out to him when I enter the house, too.