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BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1
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Subject: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Oct 08 - 02:17 PM I'm starting this thread as a public service so that snakes, worms, slugs, and other legless creatures can have a place in which to express their daily thoughts. No ridicule, please. Legless lifeforms have feelings too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Oct 08 - 02:29 PM Do you mean low life? XG |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 10 Oct 08 - 02:37 PM I believe that snakes, worms slugs and other legless creatures should stick to their own kind. A snake with a worm? Ugh! As bad as a snake with a slug A slug with a worm makes me squrim As does a bug. I am thinking of making this my life's work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Oct 08 - 03:31 PM An excellent start, SINSULL! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Donuel Date: 10 Oct 08 - 03:56 PM WORMS make compost. compost makes veggies. veggies feed animals All hail the worm. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: gnu Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:11 PM Rather subslime. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:11 PM Then ducks 'll coom and eat oop worms, eat up worms. On Ilkley Moo-or baht 'at. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Rapparee Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:13 PM Gary Larson wrote a great book about worms. Y'all ought to read it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:21 PM Slugs are just snails with a housing problem. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Bill D Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:43 PM My history professor in college lecture about the Diet of Worms.....if I hadn't been almost sleeping, I'd not have been so startled...and probably gotten the spelling right. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Amos Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:44 PM YEah--buncha foreclosed snails.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Bill D Date: 10 Oct 08 - 04:58 PM "Come on down and let's go out And have a slug drownin' party tonight. They don't care if they're swimmin' in Guiness Or sinkin' in Miller Lite" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: lady penelope Date: 10 Oct 08 - 05:00 PM Where the ducks play football.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: s&r Date: 10 Oct 08 - 05:28 PM Since Ilkley Moor is sort of a hymn, do we have to adopt a sort of pure voice when singing it? Stu |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Jack Campin Date: 10 Oct 08 - 05:57 PM David Greenberg's children's book "Slugs" is a neat little poem about them which is just asking to be set to music. I don't think he can be the same person as David Greenberg the Cape Breton fiddler or he'd have done it himself, but I'm too sluggish to check. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 10 Oct 08 - 05:59 PM My verse on homeless slugs and their effect on the economy (791.268.09) Hail the snail Who sleeps in his shell. The homeless slug Should go straight to hell. The slug sucks the life From our economy Leaving leavings For the indigenous snail Glory be. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Rapparee Date: 10 Oct 08 - 06:00 PM Gastropods are our friends. Please refrain from escargot. Thank you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 10 Oct 08 - 06:29 PM I'll jump to the bottom and pass along sad tidings--we had a lovely large snake in the yard yesterday but alas, the terrier killed it. A few swift shakes and it was not only dead, it was in two pieces. This dog actually had a very busy day; simultaneous to spotting the snake she had a squirrel trapped up a small tree. After dispatching the snake's body into the creek bed for other critters to consume I realized the squirrel was awaiting liberation. I closed the dogs in their kennel and it took some strategic shaking of limbs to knock the squirrel down and have it run to safety. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 10 Oct 08 - 07:53 PM Just because snakes haven't got legs they shouldn't be confused with gastropods. And vice versa. Crawling is a lot more complicated than that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Oct 08 - 08:06 PM Leeches, leeches, leeches, leeches! Nasty little sons of beeches! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 10 Oct 08 - 08:12 PM "I drink, therefore I am." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: TheSnail Date: 10 Oct 08 - 09:09 PM Recognition at last!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Oct 08 - 09:29 PM Feels grand, doesn't it? ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Don Firth Date: 10 Oct 08 - 09:48 PM Leeches! I HATE leeches! —Charlie Allnut (Humphrey Bogart) in The African Queen (1951) Humpy Gocart got a well deserved Academy Award for this role. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Oct 08 - 10:26 PM I must say I am all for multi-crawlerism and rejoice in the slime but it is owed to each Salamander and Slug the heritage they each deserve, separately but equal. I believe in eco-sliming and and am proud to say I was born on the same day as Sluggo Slimeball won the Great Slimeball Contest. Sadly, a cheering humanoid onlooker spilled beer on him and, uh...........but before that it was a great day. Slimesabout Pisser |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: olddude Date: 10 Oct 08 - 11:51 PM Leech I have a cousin who is one |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Oct 08 - 12:47 AM Humpy Gocart got a well deserved Academy Award for this role. Don, this is a film I watched with my kids, quite a few years ago now. They have seen so many shoot-em-up films that I needed to help them see why that relatively subtle scene was so effective. "You see how much he hates those leeches? You think they're pretty creepy, don't you?" I asked them. They agreed. Then I pointed out that the really difficult part for him was to get back in the water, knowing it was full of leeches. "Ohhh," they said. I didn't know if this sunk in, but some months later I happened to be over at their Dad's house when that movie was on TV and there were friends there watching, and my son explained to one of his friends that the creepy part was that he had to get back into the water with the leeches. . . I was on cloud nine! Not only had it sunk in, but he felt it was important to share the message with his friends! (He was in middle school at the time). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 11 Oct 08 - 01:57 AM Daily crawlabout? Isn't that for drunken sots? "Since Ilkley Moor is sort of a hymn, do we have to adopt a sort of pure voice when singing it?" No - it's an English Folk Song - so must be sung unaccompanied! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Oct 08 - 02:26 PM Said the Democratic snake of the Republican snake candidate: "He doesn't have a leg to stand on!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: lady penelope Date: 11 Oct 08 - 05:21 PM "Mr Fry will testify That his wife and he were total drunken sots She was always tight and in the middle of the night He would cry out 'Mine's a large one!' but it's not....." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Bill D Date: 11 Oct 08 - 11:43 PM The Centipede by Ogden Nash I objurgate the centipede, A bug we do not really need. At sleepy-time he beats a path Straight to the bedroom or the bath. You always wallop where he's not, Or, if he is, he makes a spot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Don Firth Date: 12 Oct 08 - 12:29 AM Ode to walking barefoot across the bedroom floor in the middle of the night: Ugh!Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Oct 08 - 02:22 AM Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: s&r - PM Date: 10 Oct 08 - 05:28 PM Since Ilkley Moor is sort of a hymn, do we have to adopt a sort of pure voice when singing it? Actually.... The tune that Ilkley Moor is traditionally sung to, was originally a hymn tune called 'Cranbrook' so it's not just a 'sort' of hymn... it IS a hymn. Almost any 8686 hymn can be sung to it, most notably 'While sheperds watched their flocks by night'. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: s&r Date: 12 Oct 08 - 02:33 PM So we should adopt a sort of pure voice. Good. stu |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Oct 08 - 03:50 PM The snake is a courteous creature, and will never elbow you. Despite this he has been condemned by many foolish people who should know better. This thread will, I hope, ameliorate that sad situation. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 12 Oct 08 - 06:07 PM And he has visited more Countries, in fact, made them his abode than most travelers. Of course, sad but true, he has taken over minimum pay (dead mice) jobs than the economy could afford. The snake is sure to break The economy of which he partakes With fangs and venom He usurps your ho-ome A vicious one. 719.86 of my life's work I have been unemployed for a while... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Jack Campin Date: 12 Oct 08 - 06:42 PM I'm not sure that gastropods are quite what the inspiration for this thread is trying to emulate. I think the condition he aspires to is that of the box jellyfish, which has only one mouth but has 64 arseholes to crap out of. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 12 Oct 08 - 09:47 PM Oh Dear! Imagine what the flu would do To a box jellyfish who is in the loo Which hole would he place On the throne while the rest Waited their turn to depoo? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Paul Burke Date: 13 Oct 08 - 05:13 AM Slugs that are indigenous and white Are all right And foreign snails like the escargot Should go home, like non- native snakes like the copperhead Leaving our native resources for the grass snake, slow worm and adder instead. Let us therefore celebrate in tradional and appropriately regional unaccompanied song Those crawling things that here belong. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: freda underhill Date: 13 Oct 08 - 06:26 AM Scary P: Hast thou the pretty worm of Nilus there, That kills and pains not? McCain: Truly, I have him; but I would not be the party that should desire you to touch him, for his biting is immortal; those that do die of it do seldom or never recover. Scary P: Remember'st thou any that have died on't? McCain: Very many, men and women, too. I heard of one of them no longer than yesterday, a very honest woman–but something given to lie, as a woman should not do but in the way of honesty–how she died of the biting of it, what pain she felt. Truly, she makes a very good report of the worm; but he that will believe all that they say, shall never be saved by half that they do. But this is most falliable, the worm's an odd worm Scary P: Get thee hence, farewell. McCain: I wish you all joy of the worm. Scary P: Farewell. McCain: You must think this, look you, that the worm will do his kind. Scary P: Ay, ay, farewell. McCain:Look you, the worm is not to be trusted but in the keeping of wise people; for indeed, there is no goodness in the worm Scary P: Take thou no care, it shall be heeded. McCain: Very good. Give it nothing, I pray you, for it is not worth the feeding. Scary P: Will it eat me? McCain: You must not think I am so simple but I know the devil himself will not eat a woman. I know that a woman is a dish for the gods, if the devil dress her not. But truly, these same whoreson devils do the gods great harm in their women; for in every ten that they make, the devils mar five. Scary P: Well, get thee gone, farewell. McCain:Yes, forsooth; I wish you joy o' th' worm [exits]… Scary P: [to an asp, which she applies to her breast] …Come, thou mortal wretch… Poor venomous fool, Be angry and dispatch… …Peace, peace! Dost thou not see my baby at my breast, That sucks the nurse asleep? .... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: freda underhill Date: 13 Oct 08 - 04:15 PM is this a mudworm that i see before me? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Little Hawk Date: 13 Oct 08 - 04:23 PM LOL! |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ALL THINGS DULL AND UGLY (Eric Idle) From: Liz the Squeak Date: 13 Oct 08 - 05:01 PM All things dull and ugly, All creatures short and squat All things rude and nasty, The Lord God made the lot. Each little snake that poisons, Each little wasp that stings, He made their brutish venom, He made their horrid wings. All things sick and cancerous, All evil great and small, All things foul and dangerous, The Lord God made them all. Each nasty little hornet, Each beastly little squid Who made the spiky urchin? Who made the sharks? He did! All things scabbed and ulcerous, All pox both great and small, Putrid, foul and gangrenous, The Lord God made them all. Amen. Thank you, Monty Python. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 14 Oct 08 - 03:02 PM What does Bruce Murdoch have to do with Scary and the worm? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Joe_F Date: 14 Oct 08 - 08:33 PM Lines on Seeing a Portuguese Man-o'-War I do not care to share the seas With jellyfishes such as these, Particularly, Portuguese. -- Michael Flanders |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: George Papavgeris Date: 14 Oct 08 - 08:40 PM The drunk snail's cry: Two legs good Legless better! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Oct 08 - 12:41 AM It's true. You can't fall down when you have no legs. You already are down. Drunks everywhere should envy the snail on this account. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 15 Oct 08 - 12:52 AM Why do women have legs?????? V V V So there won't be snail trails on the sidewalks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 15 Oct 08 - 07:31 AM "it's an English Folk Song" Well, I snuck THAT one past.... :-P |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: freda underhill Date: 15 Oct 08 - 07:49 AM as I went out crawling one morning in May I spied two young invertibrates wind along on their way One was an annelid and a beauty was she and the other was a parasite, microscopic was he.. and they twisted so sweet and comforting as they clung to each other they were writhing along the path like sipuncular rubber they were writhing along the road and they came to a stream and they both curled up together love to hear the nightingale sing.... this song has a very different end, because nightingales, as you know, have a thing about worms.. another thing about worms is, it's hard to get romantic because they're hermaphrodites, but, I suppose, whatever turns you on... f.u. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 16 Oct 08 - 06:29 AM Nobody loves me, everybody hates me Going to the garden to eat worms Fat ones, thin ones, red ones, white ones See how they wriggle and squirm. Little thin slimy ones slip down easy Big fat juicy ones don't When the big fat juicy ones get stuck between you teeth Thats when the blood goes SCCCHHHHHHLLLLLUUUURRRRRPPPPPPP. :D |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 16 Oct 08 - 12:09 PM From my daily log about local color: A local parking garage To end the carnage Now has a fence. Poor jumpers lament. Poem 13,981 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 16 Oct 08 - 12:57 PM OOPS: Poor jumper laments. to rhyme with fence. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 16 Oct 08 - 11:05 PM SINSULL, I think your standard is slipping! You never would have made such a slip when you were at your peak! Perhaps we should discuss what one of the world's best poets should do when the quality of their output starts to taper off. After all there is only so much poetry in one vessel, so when are you planning to end your poetry career, and take up another hobby, such as collecting English Operas and writing your own Operas based on the Traditional English Opera? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 17 Oct 08 - 10:02 AM I am only one part English. The rest is a motley mix of Scottish, Irish and German. Alas, I am a woman without a country and unfit to write any native poetry or music. I think I will go find an international buffet and eat myself sick. SIGH... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 17 Oct 08 - 11:05 AM I even have a distant relative on my mother's side who was a full blooded American Indian. Her name was Lightfoot which led to one of my more embarrassing moments in the third grade. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The daily crawlabout, Part 1 From: CupOfTea Date: 17 Oct 08 - 09:48 PM I don't think Les Barker's snails have yet arrived... |
