hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?

Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Foss
Date: 13 Sep 16 - 12:14 AM

Peter and Carol,

Sorry to hear about Ernie... He was a talented soul. I visited England and stayed with Ernie at "S_____ Manor" in Shrewsbury, as well as spent time at Upholland Northern Institute before a road trip to Rome in the MG. I always wanted to sit with him and discuss his behavior. Give him an opportunity to apologize and also offer a front row seat to the fall out/repercussions his actions had affected my life as a teenager, a man, a husband and a father. Now, at age 45, I have learned that this man has passed away. Sad? Sure! I would never revel in anyone's death.

Yes, I am one. Yes, I have forgiven. Yes, I know the truth.

Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,J
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 02:05 AM

Thats beautiful

Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Julian
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 02:07 AM

Dear 1983

I recently looked through some school photos on Facebook. There is nothing terribly interesting in this other than its clear that over the course of 3 sets of class pictures one particular child appears to disappear into himself and become even less confident, less happy and indeed less childlike. The face in these pictures is mine and it has taken me well over 30 years to have the courage to look into this mirror; to try to remember those events. In fact bizarre as it may seem even having met them recently I still need to concentrate to remember memory the names of the class around me

I saw Spotlight recently but it didn't bring back memories of my abuse or even anger, it was more a profound sadness. Sadness that I could relate so directly with each of the unspoken characters and their lives who were only ever referred to as events or victims. Sadness that events in Boston were replicated in diocese around the world. Sadness that like so many other victims the deferential silence of the "Village" allowed so many of us to spend time in church in fear or in nights alone with nothing but confusion, tears and guilt.

The last time I wrote to you was August; I hoped that when I was found someone would also find my note, that you would see it and feel horrendously guilty for what you had done to me as a child, a confused adult and indirectly to almost everyone I have had any sort of relationship with since.

The paradox of the situation is that having been to the edge of the precipice I know the agonies and emptiness you faced in April as you looked for a way out of your past. I feel genuinely sorry for you and I wish that you hadn't taken your life. (I wonder if you can imagine how easy it is for me to write this sentence and how difficult it is to say out loud)

Over the last year I have faced the Hell of the last 30. More importantly I dragged others down there with me, a little girl who thought she had been abandoned and a loving partner facing the indignity of having the house searched by the Police presumably looking for my body.

I don't want to be even slightly self righteous, we are both guilty; we have both damaged innocence. I have never believed that the Church was involved in a conspiracy to sacrifice young children to priests; but the fact remains that pedophiles have worn clerical collars and other uniforms to fulfill their fantasies and in doing so have ruined lives.

You were a paedophile, I was a child. You had the opportunity to control your actions and decisions; I didn't. Yet you violated both of us and caused both of us to live a lie. I can't and won't blame you for decisions I have made but at least now I realize that I made them out of a desperate attempt to protect my 13 year old self.

Both Judas and Peter betrayed Jesus, one asked to be forgiven, one couldn't and hanged himself. I've been so fortunate to have had people support me over the last 12 months and be with me as I attempted to ask for forgiveness and to forgive myself.
I'm sorry you didn't have the strength to do the same.

We have both been cowards, but I am now stronger than you ever were. I am now loved by someone who genuinely knows me, what's more I love myself and I acknowledge my weakness. I feel able to love her back and I feel that I am in love.

I can look at those pictures now and all I see is a younger version of me with all my faults, flaws and talents. I'm sorry you died but I am overjoyed that I am alive for the first time as an adult and look forward to an extraordinary new life.

I once wanted to be able to call myself a survivor; I'm neither that or a victim. After all this time I think I've now earned the right just to be the best version of me that I can be.

In a few weeks I'm going to plant all of these letters as compost under a small tree in our garden. Pause, take a deep breath and forget you and concentrate on the real people I can now really love.

Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,henryp
Date: 21 Sep 16 - 03:55 PM

Joe - can you have another look at this thread please.

Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: leeneia
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 12:57 AM

Yes, well. It might have happened.

I read a book by a noted federal prosecutor a couple years ago, and he wrote that false reports of child sexual abuse are legion. Don't prosecute unless you have iron-clad evidence.

Dutch proverb: The tall tree catches the wind.
======================
Good point, Jack.

Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,henryp
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 06:15 AM

Joe, your guidance is required.

I think we should show a little charity to those whose lives have been affected.

If this thread provides an outlet for them, then I think it should remain.

Clearly, not everyone shares that view. And if they don't agree, they don't have to re-visit the thread.

Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Sep 16 - 11:18 AM

This is a sad story, and I sympathize with all who suffered because of it. However, it is not a matter that can be resolved in an Internet forum, particularly a music forum. I think it's time to close this thread. In an effort to be fair, I probably left it open too long. If that's so, I'm sorry.
Joe Offer, Music Editor, The Mudcat Cafe