BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Mar 09 - 08:20 AM

It is mud season in Maine. Soon to be followed by summer - most likely July 22, this year. Then fall and winter again. I feel like we're in a rut. The same all thing every year.

Had my oatmeal and coffee this morning. An apple later for a snack. maybe a bit of JD ont he rocks is in order.

Janie, wake up! We are waiting for a story.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 08:59 PM

When I was in graduate school they taught me not to hit my boots, my pants, my hands....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 07:22 PM

well - take your boots off and warm your feet by the fire, Matt - And lay the boots out to dry.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Matt_R
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 06:46 PM

I'm not drinking anything ... but my boots are very soggy

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 04:40 PM

Well that's it... Plough Monday over and done with, work resumes (allegedly) for another year and Christmas has only 4 squares of chocolate remaining...

But there is the most glorious full moon outside, very bright and casting enought light to make moonshadows in the tree opposite, it's going to be fine tomorrow and my new fence arrives (hopefully) at some point. Busy day in the garden, followed by the first of our audtions for a new musical director. Tomorrow is the turn of the 'lots of personality, no experience' guy who was rather dishy... here's hoping for a good report from the general populace!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 01:24 PM

Matt - it is good to see you back. Whattarya drinking?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Matt_R
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 12:22 AM

... I forgot HTML works on this site.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 12:19 AM

I think Matt_R was providing the silent spot in the Sesame Street call and response routine.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 10:03 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 09:34 PM

Leave the bottle? If the bottle is left you'll drink it all, right? That's okay, as long as you realize that left is right for this bottle. It's like when you're driving down the road and the place you're going is on the left, so you turn left because left is right. Since you didn't go that way, right is left.

These are things you don't learn on Sesame Street.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 09:22 PM

I'd like a glass of red wine, please, and a plate of something hot, pot roast or stew if you have it.

Leave the bottle.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 09:14 PM

Saltpeter (or, in Britain, saltpetre).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 08:32 PM

Forget the slugs, Liz. I have a hot cuppa cocoa here--is that chocolate enough for you? With or without marshmallows?

(Any kick you want can be added to it--perhaps a chocolate liquor?)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 06:23 PM

There once was a fellow called Clyde.
He fell in a cess pit and died.
Edward, his brother,
Fell into another,
And now they're interr'd side by side.

Feeling less crappy now, it may have been those rum slugs... the beekrap thought I meant REAL slugs...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 06:09 PM

Offally sorry! Consider the subject buried, Liz!

"....The good is oft in turd with their bones."
                                                -Shakespeare

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 11:04 AM

Okay, I won't mention sdrut.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 05:49 AM

Don't mention turds... please.....


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 02:40 AM

Huh? Wha....? I fell asleep over here in the corner soon after I walked in. Have I missed the party?   Oh Lordy, did Rap say he killed Santy?

Quick, I need a shot of Scotch, straight up!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 10:59 PM

You'd better watch out
You'd better not pout
You'd better be good
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is dead.

Yes. Santa Claus is dead. He left his global operations to Bill Gates, who has merged them with Microsoft. The next release will be called "Windows Sees You When You're Sleeping And Who With". The software will permit you to be seen through your monitor, your television, and indeed even through your light bulbs EVEN if the light or whatever is switched off.

Remember, you learned it from A Quiet Man first.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: MAG
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 10:47 PM

Yep, the tough part of winter is still coming up, even though the Solstice is supposed to turn things around. Not.

I feel like songs about good times with friends:

Ring Around the Moon, long long time ''til day

Play another tune, please don't go away ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 07:03 PM

Yer gonna do what with.... oh... thank goodness I read that wrong.

Another round of Turkey Turd Beer over here in the back corner, eh! Birds of a feather....

And what about them cheap lobsters, anyway? Fire a load over here. And don't be cuttin them up fancy like yer servin em to yuppies on vacation. I can crack me own crusties, thank you kindly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 04:47 PM

Damn! I was all set with mu copy of Moby Dick to commence rendering the blubber in the Jell-O pit. No fair!

And this was going to be my first chance to play Yankee Doodle on the baleen.
grumble...grumble...grumble...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 04:40 PM

Oh dear.... deary me.... it's a dishrag day today and I need a pint of K&M.... wondered why I couldn't wake up this morning...

Oh Barrkip, put a fresh roll in the fridge for me please - and I don't mean tuna on rye....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: GUEST,MAG at work
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 11:07 AM

Yes, Severn, thanks; I started to reply to the thread last night but my cat had other ideas; he is insanely jealous of the computer (and the phone and anything else in my hand).

Barkeep, a virtual stiff stiff one. with sugar and caffeine.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Severn
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 01:13 PM

MAG, you're downright NIFICENT! They oughta name a Na Carta after you!



......There, do you feel any better?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: GUEST,MAG at work
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 11:08 AM

Returement party today for someone I do not want to see leave. Wrong person leaving. Wish I could.

Cheer me up, somebody.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 08:20 AM

OH dear... I forgot the monthly team meeting... I wish I was a glass of water... then I could be drunk at work and no-one could tell me off.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 02:33 AM

Line 'em up... there are 6000 returns to log and/or capture and a manager who is trying to drown us in petty beaurocracies.... it's going to take more than a banana to fix this one!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 01:30 AM

He does sometimes miss the idomatic things and go strait for literal meanings. I'd toss that down the loo if I were you, Liz.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: MMario
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 10:31 AM

*offers Liz a glass with a banana slug floating in what smells like rum*

I think this is what the Squid poured you. But are you really sure you want it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 09:42 AM

Where is that Beekarp with my rummy slug? It's a horrible day, I'm at w*^k and there were 3000 returns delivered last week - even with a bank holiday! I wannna rumma slug!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 07:19 PM

It's alright, I found more chocolate, the festivities need not end just yet! We'll follow the old custom and keep going til Candlemas shall we?

Besides, I took a load of greenery to the tip this morning. My car smells of bay and I've got a craving for gammon steaks.

Karpeeb, another rummy slug please!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 06:06 PM

As others rush about congratulating themselves, he quietly ensures that neither his charges nor his pistols are filled up with water and that his rapier is ready at hand. Taking his blunderbuss from the peg on the wall, he quietly snags a bottle of single-malt Irish and steps out the Stable Door.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 04:43 PM

"Whales can't be all bad," muses Severn. "After all didn't both Dylan Thomas and Pinnochio each spend a child's Christmas in one?" and bursts out in song with a verse from a Kentucky whale song from a Library Of Congress recording of Blind James Howard:


If you disobey mammy, remember this tale
When you run off from home, just look out for a whale
There's varmints to get you on sea and on land
And a boy can be swallered lots easier than a man.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 02:06 PM

As the Whale comes towards the Giant Squid and the Eels, all of a sudden Moby the Great White Duck comes swooping down from above and deposits the hook from Stilly's ingeneous Mudcat Trebouchet firmly in the leviathan's blowhole. At the same time, tentacles shoot out and the Squid trips off the mechanisms that retract the roof and hurl the Sperm Whale over the ridge and out into the ocean. The press gang from the ship, who were just arriving, see the whale flying overhead and turn around, running full speed after the soaring Sperm followed by the Cap'n who yells out "Thar we blew it!"

Most of both the Chantey singers and the Shanty singers (along with a few like me who have one foot in each camp), heave a collective sigh (overboard?) as we are spared the prospect of facing down what we constantly sing about and the prospect of making blubbering idiots of ourselves in the process. A few of the more gung-ho of our number are disappointedly putting the ropes, hooks and try pots back in storage, but the rest are thinking, "Far better the loss of that Sperm than any of our own seamen"......

The roof closes again, and as soon as we hear the big splash (and a few screams of either "Tidal wave!" of "Cowabunga, dude! Surf's up!")through the gaping hole in the wall, it's drinks all around and a
rousing three cheers for Moby Duck and The Giant Squid, and the eels commence dancing again!.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 11:54 AM

Those aren't desirable? They're your new food source!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: frogprince
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 11:12 AM

But then it gets so it attracts small rodents and vermin, and repels desireables...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 09:01 AM

Sew yourself into your long underwear and never change it. It repels squids, whales, flying cuspidors, and undesirables.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 05:58 AM

"Bah! A good stink'll make a man outa ya!"

Hasn't worked for mine in 18 years.... should the stink be from a particular source?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Severn
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 10:43 PM

"Good job, Stilly!", cheers the amazed crowd.

"Hmmmmmmm......" thinks Moby Duck, who flies over and whispers something to the Squid, who nods in agreement.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 10:38 PM

And who needs that?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 10:10 PM

Bah! A good stink'll make a man outa ya!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 06:32 PM

Trying to set a good de-clutter example. And the shells were going to start to stink pretty soon. You can only spritz them with salt water for so long before enough is enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 05:38 PM

Christmas isn't over until the chocolate is all gone!






















Oh. Awwwww... bugger.

Barkkie, gimme another slug o' rum.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Severn
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 05:30 PM

Everyone has backed off from the center of the room where the three antagonists are sizing each other up.

"If you're lookin' fer some men to press, Cap'n," sneers the Whale, "There's a fine bunch to take with you!", as he motions with one flipper at a bunch of shanty singers cowering in one corner, trying to muster a little liquid courage from their tankards of Harpoon Tang (The aforementioned drink being a foul grog made by the spiking of a powdered drink they aquired a taste for back in their younger days, when they wanted to become astronauts, until they found out there weren't any songs or any bars that catered to that profession).

"Damn straight I'm real, me boys! Just what, if anything, would you or anyone else plan to do about it?", growls the whale, who's feeling neither pain nor fear at the moment.

"Micca! Hey, Micca!" the leviathan shouts, (for whatever all those other threads claim about his whereabouts, he's really HERE), sing that song I like!", and the band strikes up "Shantyman Who's Never Been To Sea", while at the same time, the Cap'n is whispering to a sailor to go back to the ship and come back with a press gang to annex the shantymen for real and eventually help call the whale's bluff, and the Squid and his eels stand at the ready, and the insulted shantymen hurridly search their Hugills for instructions.

And if there weren't enough challengers, a large white waterfowl is muttering to himself, "I don't see how any of these folks can handle this guy. This might be a job for MOBY DUCK!"......

The band has struck up "O, Whaley, Whaley"......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 05:15 PM

Does this mean that Christmas is over?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 12:20 PM

Sage moves behind the bar and turns the knob to engage the tackle holding the tree up at the ceiling. Creaking gently the tree slowly shifts down toward the floor. The sea shells and creatures are even more beautiful close up, but are more than ready to return to the ocean. Flipping another switch, the tavern roof slowly slides back, a mechanical arm appears, and Sage climbs up to adjust the gear holding the tree to attach to a hook on the arm.

Out in the yard a creaking and groaning of rope and wood can be heard, and the unusual mechanism of the Mudcat Trebuchet is cranked up. The tree quivers momentarily, waking a couple of ducks and dislodging one cat that had managed to sneak up into the branches. Free of the four-legged and winged wildlife, the tree suddenly lurches into the air and flies many hundreds of yards across a smallish ridge. Beachcombers hear a swishing rush over their heads and look up to see the tree arch over the beach and land "plop!" into the water well below the low-tide mark.

Sage flips the switch to replace the tavern roof, then reaches over and pokes the Staples "easy" button that someone left on the bar.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: Severn
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 03:21 AM

Yeah, like I said, Blue denim Levi breeches! G'day, Capn! I thought you were down on the Monby-us Strip this time of year.

"I'm a HE! Blow yerself!", growled the Sperm. "The breeches must've confused you."

I don't like how that whale's sounding", sez the Cap'n.


"I remember that whale", said one of the older folkies. "It sang background on a Judy Collins LP. Still sounds fine to me!"


The band starts into:

"Oh what a weeping and whaling
When the lost were told of their fate...."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: GUEST,Loooooooooong John Sliver
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 09:42 PM

"Avast, me hearties!" I say as the Wharf Door slams open. "I be seein' a whale and a Sperm at that! I'll get me matey Haba, who was turned inside out and backwards by that white whale! He'll bring his harpoon and lance! Thar she blows and breeches!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Winter Holiday Tavern 2008
From: MAG
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 08:39 PM

Brian? Who's Brian?

Briany deep around here...