Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the Door (Les Barker

Subject: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Ann N
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 02:41 PM

Does anyone know the word's for the monologue 'Jehovah's Witness at the gate'? I heard it years ago at a folk club and haven't come across it since. The only other part I can remember is that God lives at one of the houses up the street and is hiding under the kitchen table :)
Thanks AnnN

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 03:28 PM

It's a Les Barker poem , and is on the first album of the "Guidecats" series, performed by Allan Beswick.

I'm not sure which of Les's books it's in but I'm sure someone will know this.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Ann N
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 03:40 PM

Thankyou, I can start hunting down the words now. Mudcatters know everything :)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Musket
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 07:05 AM

The title is Jehovas witness at the door.

The term gate comes in a few verses in. Although my favourite bit is the step...

"Jehovas witness on the step, Jesus wants you for a rep"

I first heard it on a train with my iPod. Laughed out loud and got a few glances...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Acorn4
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 07:15 AM

My favourite line is:-

"God pretends that he's not in."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: GUEST,NicP
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 07:44 AM

Wonderful monologue. Can also be set to hymn tunes.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: DG&D Dave
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 07:48 AM

I hate to be a pedant, Acorn4. But I think the line is:
"The Omnipresent isn't in."
which I think is subltly funnier.

Sorry again.
Dave.
"Living right and living clean, learn to play the tambourine..."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: DG&D Dave
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 08:00 AM

Oh! and:
The book is "A Quite Short Goat and a Pink Dalmation"
and it's recorded on DOG 007 as well as Guide Cats for the Blind.

All available from: Mrs. Ackroyd

Dave.
"And sing Oh! the hard cheese of old England..."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Ann N
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 08:16 AM

I've got the CD as a download from amazon :) Chortled my way through it, thanks everyone :)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Reinhard
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 03:10 AM

I hate to be a pedant, Dave ;-) but you and Acorn4 have quoted different lines. Verse 5 ends with

"Knocking, ringing, such a din;
God's pretending He's not in."
and verse 6 starts with
"Jehovah's Witness hears a shout;
The Omnipresent says He's out;"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 04:09 AM

That Les B is a genius.

A JW called the other day. He smiled but quickly went away. Do I look dead grumpy or are they loosing their nerve?

Cheer

L in C

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jehovah's Witness at the gate
From: Musket
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 04:09 AM

I take it most of us have seen the thread about poet laureate?

First time I have added to a No. 10 petition. Mind you, when we put him up for the night, (nearly 30 years ago, mind..) it was a bugger to get the dog hairs out...