BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story

Subject: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: Mickey191
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:58 AM

I'm telling this long story to find out if anyone has gone through anything like this   and also to alert people to keep a watchful eye out for clues that a friend or relative might be in acute distress.

The subject is my 60 year old cousin who had been normal in every way until a sudden turn in his thinking resulted in the following.

We are all still grieving and the circumstances uncovered have left us all in shock. I can't get it out of my mind.

Just 3 weeks before he'd been hospitalized.
I talked to him everyday & he was at the top of his form. Laughing, joking & entertaining fellow patients & staff. One nurse was overheard saying-"every time I pass this room there is laughter to be heard. "

When he was released they wanted him to go to a rehab place--but he refused. Just wanted to get home. He did confide in me that he'd been seeing a staff physychiatrist. That puzzled me-but I didn't want to intrude & ask questions.

He was home about a week & I spoke for over an hr. on the 28th. He was in good form & our cousin, Jane spoke the next day. He was relaxed & joking with her.

The bottomline is that Jason called the ambulance around 8:30 pm on the 30th. He was in distress with a heart problem. He died that night.

Now for the unbelievable part. Jason had OCD & was a hoarder--meaning he did not throw _anything_ out--I mean anything! Among the piles of stuff:--- a yrs.worth of take out food containers-Hundreds of soda bottles-newspapers, magazines dating back years, empty cigarette boxes, a pile of used kleenex 4 ft. high, thousands of plastic bags, there were 1100 vhs movies. Hundreds of books strewn about.   Some piles went to the ceiling. Thru each room was a path about 10 inches wide-surrounded by every kind of junk one can imagine. He could not cook because the
stove was piled high with crap.

The conclusion we've drawn was that every meal was delivered-for all these yrs. Manys the time we'd be on the phone & he'd excuse himself to get a pizza or Chinese food delivery.

He had a 3 room ap't.(far from relatives) & each room was as described above. He had ONE uncluttered seat on the couch where he'd watch TV. There was no cleared surface anywhere.

He kept a bit of a diary & those who have read it say this had been going on for about 5 yrs. (Previous to that time,he sent me pixs of different parties he'd had & all was normal.)

Then he had a pacemaker put in & he retired. To walk a block exhausted him & he would not allow company to visit. We were never given a solid reason why we couldn't see him. We all felt that as long as we had phone talks that he was okay. He was ALWAYS upbeat & had friends whom he visited at their homes.

Jason had a genius IQ, held a responsible job always, had been well traveled. had many friends, was wickedly funny, mordant wit. He was gay and was accepted by all in the family. He was dearly loved & KNEW it.

My heart is broken-he was my most favorite cousin and I'm so damn sorry that his last years were as described. He must have been in such turmoil over his situation and yet could not share this with anyone. It took Nine people and 2 huge trucks to empty the place.

I'm so baffled as to how a person who was clean and stylish turns on a dime into this Anyone have experience with this? Thanks for your time. Mickey191

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: Megan L
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:08 PM

OCD takes many forms and unfortunately there is no definiative answer as to what triggers it. I first became aware of it at primary scholl one of my little friends would pick up her pencil turn it three times and put it down she would have to do this several times before she started writting.

I am sorry for your loss remember him as he was before this struck he sounds like a wonderful man and should be remembered as such.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:16 PM

you have my condolences.

I know when a mess reaches a critial mass I too shrink from the huge task of purging. Sometimes I make plans to use some prosaic items in some art project but never get back to it.

You make him sound like a wonderful authentic character in a novel who began to hold onto to everything toward the end of life and wring out every bit of life from everything he touched.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: Wesley S
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:36 PM

I had a good friend who had to clear her aunts house - it was a similar situation. There are lots of folks out there like this - sad to say. I guess if I'm in a similar situation I'll try to get by the house so I have a visual reference. Be happy pets weren't involved.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: GUEST,amateur shrink
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 01:27 PM

Some people do become hoarders because it is too difficult physically to get stuff into the trash cans. Some people get depressed and can't throw things away. Some people lose motivation because no one is there to help with the job. A stroke might have changed his personality. Or the hoarding might have gone on a much longer time without anyone knowing about it. Hoarding also often quiets anxieties about life and living, kind of like cutting oneself.

I'm sorry for your loss. Too many people get disconnected from friends and family, who can help, in this modern world. Sometimes I think the only solution to the problems single people often face is a return to living in small bands.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 01:30 PM

The world is so hungry for leadership that quite often we overlook the troubles people are having because we need, so badly, to see their positives.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 01:32 PM

OCD is a debilitating, stressful and secretive illness. It is unlikely that even if you had known about it you would have been able to do anything to help.

I saw a programme about a woman who had to hurriedly leave her life abroad and had to leave all her possessions which she never got back. As a result she hoarded things. She even had to check several times before she put a stamp on an envelope to make sure that nothing was under it before she stuck it down.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:08 PM

OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: robomatic
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:20 PM

It's more common than folks believe. I just saw "The Aviator" about an incredibly wealthy, intelligent, powerful man (Howard Hughes) and what OCD did to him.

It's worth noting that there are some positive developments relating to treating it the hard part is getting folks to make a move towards getting the help.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: LilyFestre
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:29 PM

My husband's great aunt is like this. In the social work field, we refer to this as a tunnel home because often there are literally tunnels throughout the house.

    I don't know what causes it...for RidgePlucker's aunt, most likely it is a case of she didn't have and has grown to hoard everything because there MIGHT be a use for it. She is in an independent living situation now and the aides are constantly removing things from under her bed or piles here and there. She doesn't really seem to mind that someone else gets rid of the stuff, she just can't seem to bring HERSELF to do it.

My condolences,

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 05:15 PM

My sincere condolences on your loss.

OCD? Perhaps. Maybe not. When we remember things we often say "In the first place...in the second place and so on." In fact I think it was Aristotle who espoused this form of memorization. Take a look at your 'fridge or bulletin board. How neat is that? What I am saying is that this person of brilliant mind may have needed the items so organized to keep himself organized.... and secure feeling and aid his memory.

Did he have many interests? Lots of little projects that may have been interrupted or derailed? All these "things", crap as you call it, were part of his life. Sure it is unconventional, a deviation from what we believe to be the "norm" but not something to grieve over. If we can't see the treasure in some item or a whole host of items doesn't mean that they weren't treasures to him. And don't sell him short. There may be treasures there that would be appreciated by others.

Long term financial insecurity may also be at the root of situation too. The facial tissue thing does bother me somewhat. Was he keeping an unused corner available for future use?

As mentioned above by others depression, which is epidemic these days, can lead to such behaviors, I know. A broken heart, an unbearable loss, dreams gone awry might diminish one's ability to cope with the mundane things of life. A lot of other factors can lead to the "Warehousing Syndrome". Chances are that if someone were to have arrived to help him "tidy up" he would have had none of it. To him it WAS order.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: robomatic
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:52 PM

Some interesting books have been coming out about depression, which is related to OCD. Kramer wrote "Listening to Prozac" and "Against Depression" and as of a couple of years ago was making the argument that Depression needs to be treated as a disease. If someone has cancer, there's no question like "are you going to do something about it?" and he feels there should be no such question about Depression. He argues that Depression should be treated behaviorially and clinically. People who experience repeated bouts of Depression are also experiencing brain damage which diminishes quality and lenght of life.

Also, there is a lot of hope and help in mainstream medical practice out there for people who seek treatment. It is worth making the effort and working with people to seek help, bearing in mind that people with this sort of problem aren't readily lead to do something about it. There was an excellent radio program, I think it was on the now defunct "Infinite Mind" specifically about hoarding.

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:13 PM

The story of the Collyer brothers is pretty gruesome.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Hoarding/OCD-True Story
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:43 PM

Most mental "illness" is a combination of brain chemistry and stored life experiences which can be improved with talk therapy, medication, and/or self-initiated and self-managed behavioral changes. OCD is one of the complex combinations that leave sufferers caught between the approaches while their proponents argue among themselves-- while at the same time the components of the disorder themselves make it hard to harness all the resources that could help.

Then it gets further stigmatized when stroies like this sad one eclipse conversations about the complexity of the problem, leaving people fearful of coming "out" about it because they do not want to be seen as being "like that" or "that bad."

For those folks, it's especially sad because they are dear, high-functioning people who, if they'd had just a little behavioral help early on, could have headed off the vicious cycle where the behavior grows to reinforce the brain chemistry which is reinforced by the remembered life events that can trigger extreme episodes.

And so it goes 'round and 'round. People you could not IMAGINE having this, have it to some degree, struggle with it silently, and you'll never know it was there.

I know and have known quite a few. I also know that their stories (and the times they've asked me into their homes for help) keep me honest about my own OCD tendencies-- if I do not watch the boundaries of my behavior, it can get outta control fast. I KNOW that my prodigious tune memory, for example, is partly fueled by an OCD brain chemistry. I KNOW that now that my mom no longer lives close by enough to help me deal with it, the laundry pile I am capable of generating can NOT be allowed to grow beyond the walls of my tiny bathroom. I KNOW that if I work on music ALL day, by bedtime I will have hundreds of tunes playing all at once in my head and that it will take days to make them stop so I can think about other things and commitments. Not just ear-worms. Imagine having 10 at once, or 20, or 100, or songbooks full of them, all at once.

I also know that I have spent many days with the auto-tunes running the show, held great conversations with folks while it went on, and no one had the least idea it was making me nuts. :~) Sometimes at Gatherings. :~)


In other words, I know that logic and firm, decisive action can help IF I do not let this get the best of me. But then, I also have gotten rid of tons of that sense of internal embarrassment, so I don't feel I need to hide it. For those who cannot talk about it...... well, you can PM me, and I can probably give you a hand. I'll keep firmly in mind that it's not your fault. :~)

~S~