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BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary?
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Subject: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 09 Mar 09 - 10:56 AM I hope the man used an electric guitar. My Martin might not fare well. (Appropros of not much, this happened in Governor Sarah Palin's hometown.) http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/030909/reg_407043600.shtml |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: SINSULL Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:00 AM Please tell me the burglar is NOT related to Palin. We finally got her off the front page despite valiant efforts from her publicist to make her daughter's pregnancy relevent. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:04 AM Obviously the guitar wasn't the best weapon, since the guy was able to depart. If I'd hit him, it would have been with something heavy enough to anchor him till the cops came. Don T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Wesley S Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:09 AM If he'd used a National the burglar would be in the hospital now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:46 AM I would have trouble getting the National over my head, Wesley. Those buggers are heavy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: John P Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:56 AM And I thought this was going to be another thread about the desirability of owning an Ovation . . . . Like a thief leaving a note asking the homeowner to get a better guitar. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: dick greenhaus Date: 09 Mar 09 - 12:06 PM Clearly a solid-body electric. When I was much younger, it was explained to me that if trouble broke out at a gig, the appropriate way to use a guitar as a weapon was the thrust with the tuning head forward, to avoid damaging the box. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 09 Mar 09 - 12:08 PM The proper technique is not to swing the guitar over your head, Ebbie. That leaves your torso open to attack while you're in the swing and telegraphs your intent to bop them over the head. The proper guitar martial arts procedure would be to use the guitar in a swift forward upward thrust. Aim for the face or neck or make a real sore spot on the sternum. I think the proper grip is to grasp the guitar body and aim the neck (whatever you call the end part with the tuning pegs) toward the burglar. You could get a pretty good hit in that way, but I'm afraid if you held the neck and thrust with the guitar body it would be a less precise hit or a larger object for the burglar to deflect. IMHO I'm a piano player. Best I could do with my instrument in a defensive situation would be slam their fingers in the lid. :) SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 09 Mar 09 - 12:09 PM Dick and I cross posted. And he gave it the proper name. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Wesley S Date: 09 Mar 09 - 12:13 PM Legend has it that Bukka White was holding a National when he was shot at point blank range with a small pistol. He survived. I never heard how the guitar fared in the exchange. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: GUEST Date: 09 Mar 09 - 01:08 PM Keef demonstrates the proper way |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 09 Mar 09 - 01:20 PM "Here- put your fingers right there" Works for me, Stilly. :) I hadn't realized there is an actual protocol for fighting with a guitar. Over a guitar, yes.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Bill D Date: 09 Mar 09 - 01:21 PM "Leave my stuff alone, or I'll plug this thing in and PLAY!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: PoppaGator Date: 09 Mar 09 - 02:50 PM "Clearly a solid-body electric." Dick's right. Swatting a burgler with your Martin (horrors!) or any acoustic box would do more harm to the intrument than to the perpetrator. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Jayto Date: 09 Mar 09 - 02:59 PM He could've used this I guess. Or this one? This would also take care of hecklers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Bill D Date: 09 Mar 09 - 03:08 PM " Swatting a burgler with your Martin (horrors!) ..." You just need a trained one with extra 'voice'.. "Martin said to the man..."Fie, man, fie..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 09 Mar 09 - 03:57 PM Any time I get burgled the last thing I want is for them to stick around and get into a fight, especially one that put a musical instrument at risk of being damaged. I want to see the burglar legging it at high speed, not trading blows, or even lying injured on the patio. So I'd want to phone the police from a safe distance, and then inform the burglar that I had done so, and that a squad car can be expected to arrive shortly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: gnu Date: 09 Mar 09 - 05:04 PM Just remember. After the perp is on the ground and unconcious, put the guitar in his hands and get his figerprints on it. Then, tell the pOlice what that sucker done attacked you with it and you managed to wrestle it away from him and defend yerself as best you could. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Amos Date: 09 Mar 09 - 05:30 PM SUch canny advice from such a young feller!!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Peace Date: 09 Mar 09 - 05:32 PM My old Stella guitar would have landed me in for a stretch--minimum 15 years. That old girl was tough as freakin' nails. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: gnu Date: 09 Mar 09 - 05:51 PM I whaddn't just fell off the turnip truck there, Amos. STELLA!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: gnu Date: 09 Mar 09 - 06:02 PM BTW, if yer a student of law in such cases, it's a good thing to have yer neighbour handle the baseball... er, play the guitar, that you keep by the door. Fer carburetion. In case anything gets started. So's everything jives and it gets finished proper. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Peace Date: 09 Mar 09 - 06:04 PM Tell the police you tried to stop the guy from beating himself so badly with the baseb--guitar: "Worst case of self flagellation I ever saw, officer." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: gnu Date: 09 Mar 09 - 06:21 PM And, that business about where the bat ended up... no need to report that. His mother might read the paper. Some peoples kids, eh officer? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Mar 09 - 06:55 PM The best acoustic for this purpose is an old Kent. They were built like a battleship and had generally no tone at all, so if they get damaged in the fracas it doesn't really matter. Ovations are good too, though, no doubt about it. Guilds are also quite heavy and tough as hell. If you want to impress the burglar with your musical credentials, use the Guild. If you don't care whether he's impressed or not, use the Kent or the Ovation. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Peace Date: 09 Mar 09 - 06:58 PM Yep. That Kent would do it, too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 09 Mar 09 - 07:06 PM Great fun when the bugger pulls it out of your hands and uses it to smash your skull... No, I'll stick with my mobile phone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 09 Mar 09 - 07:08 PM STELLA!!!!! I like that touch of the other arts, gnu. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Bat Goddess Date: 09 Mar 09 - 07:37 PM Reminds me of the banjo murders -- I think I posted that news clip here somewhere. Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ref Date: 09 Mar 09 - 08:43 PM A HEAVY guitar! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: M.Ted Date: 09 Mar 09 - 09:01 PM A Fender precision bass can do some real damage in tight situations. In fact, it is nearly impossible not do do real damage with it in tight situations. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 09 Mar 09 - 10:01 PM We're going to have to find out! Using the 6 - or is it 7?- stages of separation I should be able to track it down - since it happened in my town and there aren't all that many of us I may need only 3 stages. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 09 Mar 09 - 11:37 PM Report back! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: meself Date: 10 Mar 09 - 12:29 AM Raised on El Kabong ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 10 Mar 09 - 06:34 AM I seem to remember Joe Brown saying that the reason his guitar strap used to be decorated with horse brasses was that he could use it to hold the punters at bay (swinging it round his head)when they rushed the stage, long enough for the rest of the band to escape! RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: GUEST,Scorpio Date: 10 Mar 09 - 07:55 AM Reminds me of Johnny Winter's story about how he began playing electric guitar. He was singing acoustic blues in rough clubs in Texas, where people would climb up on stage from time to time. He got himself a solid-body Fender. "Swing from the neck with one of those fuckers," he said. "they don't get up!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Mar 09 - 09:26 AM In the acoustic category, I think Stella might have the edge but a FRAMUS would give good service as well............... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 10 Mar 09 - 10:18 AM pooh. My brain jumped its tracks last night - for a moment I was thinking that the event happened in Juneau- and that was after I'd noted that i happened in the Governor's hometown. I checked Anchorage's newspaper and discovered that Juneau's paper had run its story verbatim from the Anchorage paper. So I know notting. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Wesley S Date: 10 Mar 09 - 11:06 AM An Eko 12 string might have been a good choice - except most of them were too heavy to lift. I understand that Peter Townsend stopped using Fender guitars for awhile because they were too heard to smash. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 10 Mar 09 - 11:26 AM I'm not sure how best to stop a burglary, but I am sure that accosting the crook (who might be armed or crazy on drugs) is not a good idea. In 1995, my home was burglarized. They took the turntable, the microwave, and a tape deck that didn't play tapes but still could make recordings. Cassette tapes were tossed on the floor, but nothing seemed to be missing. I can almost hear their disgust: 'Folk music! Classical music! Renaissance music! What is this shit?' To my great relief they didn't take my beloved guitar. They turned up their noses at what to me is the most valuable thing in the house. A policeman friend of ours says that the best protection against burglars is a small dog, but my husband despises dogs. (He has a super-keen sense of smell, and to him all dogs and all houses with dogs in them reek.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 10 Mar 09 - 11:35 AM Juneau's crimes, leenia, tend to be the watered down variety (except for the occasional murder, that is). The police department tell us that duty here isn't too arduous. A few winters back two young men burgled a cabin, happily taking some found goodies such as electronic gear and stuff. The police followed their footprints in the snow to their home. I found their little footprints in the snow I traced their little footprints in the snow, lord I bless that happy day when two criminals lost their way I found their little footprints in the snow |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Wesley S Date: 10 Mar 09 - 12:18 PM Leeneia - I had a very similar experience when my house was robbed. Thank goodness they didn't take the guitar. They dropped my turntable on the way out of the house { my roommate came home while the burglary was in process } and it never worked properly after that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Stilly River Sage Date: 10 Mar 09 - 01:51 PM I have two dogs since our burglary. They do what they're intended to, bark at strangers, and unlike a electronic burglar alarm, they meet you at the gate with unconditional love every time you come home. :) SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: gnu Date: 10 Mar 09 - 01:52 PM Well, a Mandy in each hand might be dandy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: dick greenhaus Date: 10 Mar 09 - 07:58 PM Actually, what's being discussed here is thwarting |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Peace Date: 10 Mar 09 - 08:00 PM "A Fender precision bass can do some real damage in tight situations. In fact, it is nearly impossible not do do real damage with it in tight situations." WHAT????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Don Firth Date: 10 Mar 09 - 08:16 PM If you're going to use the tuning head like a battering ram, best to hold onto the neck rather than just holding the body of the guitar, otherwise you're liable to wind up holding a guitar with what looks like a very short neck, with your fingerboard peeking up at you through the sound hole. I hate that sound of splintering wood! Do what I do in similar circumstances: I offer to sing them my entire repertoire of Uzbekistani goat-milking chanteys. They're out through the window without bothering to open it! Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Sandy Mc Lean Date: 10 Mar 09 - 09:18 PM Well i have an Eko J54 (Ranger Electra) that is built like a Sherman tank and it would be a weapon to fear. My Framus 5/85n is too light and has far too much ring (more bark than bite), my Yamaha FG512 just has too much sentamental value, My BC Rich BW 40000 is my main ax so that's out. However I also have a solid body Washburn electric that would knock the devil on his arse so I think that would be my first choice as a weapon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 11 Mar 09 - 12:04 AM Turntables! Why are punks breaking in and stealing turntables? Do they have a secret yen to listen to old Kingston trio albums? Andre Kostelanetz? Doris Day? What is it that they are afraid to us? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Best Guitar to Stop Burglary? From: Ebbie Date: 11 Mar 09 - 12:38 AM Speaking of windows, I just remembered that those two young men went out the window of the cabin. Poor return on the energy they expended, one would think. |
