BS: Baby on board

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Peace
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 09:46 PM

It's a stupid sign. Planked salmon I can understand, but BABY ON BOARD ? How friggin' sick is THAT!

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: robomatic
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 06:52 PM

This thread should be moved above the line, courtesy of "THE SIMPSONS"

Baby on board
How I've adored
That sign on my car's windowpane.
Bounce in my step,
Loaded with pep,
'Cause I'm drivin' in the carpool lane.
Call me a square,
Friend I don't care,
'Cause that little yellow sign can't be ignored.
I'm telling you it's mighty nice.
Each trip's a trip to paridise
With my baby on board.

Subject: RE: BS: Infant Upon A Two By Four
From: Severn
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 04:09 PM

The phrase Baby On Board actually started at sea, where when infants misbehaved (or like the boards themselves, were knotty), they made them crawl the plank. They never made them stop the practice completely, but laws were passed that they had to put up the signs, the equivalent back then of the results of one of Obama's safety reform bills after having gone through Congress.

The boards in question were fashioned by way of infant trees, though adult trees were occaisionally known to enter into the process.

No truth to the rumor that in The Cannibal Isles it was a delicacy prepared much in the same way as planked salmon.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: robomatic
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 02:25 PM

bloody hilarious emma!

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 01:28 PM

LOL, Emma.


This looks like another stereotype thread at Mudcat, though. McGrath and Sins, I agree.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Emma B
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 12:53 PM

A most extraordinary case is being heard in the High Court at the moment, in which a motorist is making history by being prosecuted privately for the stickers in his car window. Here is an extract from yesterday's proceedings.

Counsel: Your name is Sidney Greenleaf ?

Witness: It is.

Counsel: Do you or do you not own a car ?

Witness: I do. It is not a crime to own a car.

Counsel: Nobody is suggesting that it is a crime, Mr Greenstreet.

Witness: Greenleaf.

Counsel: Greenleaf. Now, Mr Greenleaf, could you describe this car to us?

Witness: Yes, I could.

PAUSE

Counsel: Why are you not describing this car for us ?

Witness: Nobody has asked me to. All you have asked so far is whether I would be capable of it. I said that I would be capable of it.

Counsel: Describe this car, please.

Witness: Well, it's dirty but basically in quite good nick, apart from a small rattle in the engine which I can't trace. The windscreen spray is out of alignment, which means that passers-by tend to get more of the spray than the car does, know what I mean ...

Counsel: When I asked you to describe the car, I did not mean give me a sales talk. I meant, tell me the make and colour.

Witness: Oh. It's a four-wheel green Mazda.

Judge: Excuse me for butting in again so soon, but I though that Asda was a large shop.

Counsel: No, my Lord, his car is called a Mazda, not Asda.

Judge: I thought that a Mazda was a kind of lightbulb.

Counsel: And so it is, my Lord. But it is also a kind of car.

Judge: How curious. Is it not odd that a lightbulb manufacturer should suddenly take it into his head to manufacture family cars?

Counsel: Most odd, my Lord. Now, Mr Greenleaf ...

Judge: Has Osram started making cars?

Counsel: I don't think so, my Lord.

Judge: Is it an electric car?

Counsel: Is what an electric car?

Judge: This car made by the lightbulb people. The Mazda.

Counsel: His Lordship wants to know if your car is electric.

Witness: It's petrol-driven, my Lord. Of course, the lights are electric. If your Lordship is interested in buying it, I could give him a run round during the recess or lunch break or whatever it's called. It's in pretty good condition and it's recently been valeted ...

Counsel: I do not think he is interested in your car as a possible purchase, only as part of the trial.

Witness: Fair enough.

Counsel: Now, could you describe your car back window.

Witness: Yes, I think I could do that. PAUSE. Oh, sorry, you mean you actually want me to describe my back window?

Counsel: Yes, I do. With special reference to the sticker or stickers in that window.

Witness: Righty ho. Well, the window itself is a plain glass window. The first sticker is an old one we've had for ages, which just says: "Keep Back - Baby on Board."

The second one says: "Windsurfers Do It Standing Up." There's one other, which says ...

Counsel: Do you actually have a baby on board?

Witness: Pardon?

Counsel: Your car sticker proclaims to the whole world that you have a baby in the car. Is this in fact true?

Witness: Well, no, not really. It was true when we put the sticker in.

Counsel: How long ago was that?

Witness: 1979.

Counsel: How old is the baby now?

Witness: Rising 18. She's just off to college.

Counsel: So the car sticker is now wholly misleading ...

Judge: Excuse me for butting in again, but will someone tell me what this is all about?

Counsel: My Lord, I represent the Council for Decent and Truthful Car Stickers, a body of good people and true who have decided to take a stand against mendacious and misleading car stickers. We aim to prove that Mr and Mrs Greenleaf have been lying about babies for the past 15years simply in order to have more room on the road.

Judge: I see. Are you going to bring every motorist in Britain with this sticker in here this morning?

Counsel: No, my Lord. We hope that this will be a test case.

Judge: Thank goodness for that. Incidentally, what do windsurfers do standing up ? I have often wondered.

Counsel: That will probably become clear, my Lord, when we call a windsurfer as a witness.

Judge: Good! I shall look forward to that.

More of this fascinating case tomorrow, I hope.

Miles Kington 13 May 1941 – 30 January 2008)
British journalist, musician (a double bass player for Instant Sunshine and other groups) and broadcaster

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 12:47 PM

Have also seen the Small Person On Board signs and have a real desire to get some "Small Minded Git On Board" stickers printed up, with especially paint destructive glue.

Especially for the numbnuts who park their range rovers right up against our little Seat Arosa so that we can't get into it.

Remembering the "I brake for dogs, cats, bingo etc." signs. There should be an "I Brake For No Apparent Reason" sticker.

I also want a big flashing digital sign that runs across top of our windscreen that can be programmed to say various things like

God is my co-pilot and he says "Thou Shalt Alternate Merge!"

I saw you toss litter from your car the other day and I told your Mum!

Dear cyclist, the highway code applies to you too!

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: olddude
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 12:46 PM

I prefer the sticker, "12 Gauge Shotgun on board"
people drive much better and don't tailgate

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: robomatic
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 12:43 PM

I remember the first time I saw one of these on the inside rear window of a posh sedan going through an intersection on the Embarcadero near 280 in Palo Alto. BOB doesn't do it justice. It had an exclamation point! It said to me: "Because I 'may' have a baby in my car, I'm more important!"

The rash of little yellow signs with "Mother-In-Law" and "Baby Elephant" On Board that followed showed me that Americans have a sense of humor, irony, and "way to make a buck". It leveled the playing field for the less importantcy folk.

Now, twenty-five years later, I maintain my ironic detachment.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Paul Burke
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 12:08 PM

I thought the "baby" the sign referred to was the driver.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: artbrooks
Date: 25 Jul 09 - 11:54 AM

Hey, Kendall....why was your friend driving so close that his rig got sprayed?

I can (almost) see the utility of one of those signs - except for the fact that they block vision out of the rear window when one is trying to check the next lane for a lane change. Of course, the ones who (1) have sign(s) and (2) are talking on their telephones probably don't look when they change lanes anyway - without benefit of turn signals, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 08:41 AM

The signs were designed to alert police and firefighters in case of an emergency. We have them on the windows of children's bedrooms here as well so that firefighters know where to look. Animal rescue organizations provide them so that emergency workers know to look for a dog or cat in case of a fire or whatever.

Makes sense to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 08:28 AM

We don't have any bob stickers in either of the cars. We drive sensibly but I can see the reason why people put them in their cars. My friend has a baby on board sign and a mum to be on board sign and I've just heard she's bought a twins on board sign to go in when she gives birth later this year!...over the top possibly but most people see them as fashion accessories.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Jeanie
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 07:41 AM

McGrath - in case your comment is directed at me: Surely a person loading/unloading a child from the ROAD TRAFFIC side is making themselves and their child far more vulnerable than if they were doing this from the pavement side ? The smugness (if there is any) is not on the part of the other road users who are trying to go about their unhurried business safely, but on the part of the parent who smugly thinks that the world revolves around them and that it is fine for them to hold up everybody else, when there is a much safer and more considerate way of loading/unloading their child.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Leadfingers
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 07:33 AM

I imagine most of you will remember the flags that used to be flown on (Especially) white vans - These were 'I'm a Crap Driver' signs , but fell out of favour when it was pointed out that they increased
wind resistance and interfered with fuel economy . The solution was a sign inside the car , and these came in two styles ! The 'Baby on Board' and the 'Prebooked Private Hire' stickers .

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 06:54 AM

I always assume such signs are an attempt to remind other drivers with the kinds of attitudes revealed in some of the posts in this thread that cars contain very vulnerable people and that driving is a serious business requiring tolerance and patience of other road users.

Maybe it would be better to have a sign in the back saying "vicious homicidal maniac on board" to put the fear of God into smug people in a hurry.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Jeanie
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 05:56 AM

Here's something that really annoys me (Caution: "Grumpy Old Woman alert"): These same baby-on-board people are often to be found parked, with their road-side door wide open, either taking their child out of the rear car seat or putting the child back in. The door is often very wide, too - the vehicle generally being a 4x4.
   
Incredibly dangerous, apart from being totally inconsiderate to the traffic which is unable to pass them. WHY don't they open the door on the pavement side and lean across ? Is it that difficult ? I guess they are so selfish that they think that if they did it from the pavement side, they would actually hear the people walking on the pavement saying "Excuse me", and they would have to pull their door in to let them pass. By having the door open on the road side they can pretend to be oblivous to the delays they are causing. Or are they just oblivious to others in general ?

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: kendall
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 05:49 AM

A friend of mine bought a new motor home; tens of thousands of dollars. He came up behind a trailer that had a sign, CAUTION, HORSES. He ignored it until the two horses decided to pee at the same time and his rig got a bath. Hot radiator, hot engine, it stunk for a month in spite of frequent cleanings.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 04:54 AM

I find them annoying as well and I'm a parent. However, I was told a while ago by a paramedic that if they come to a traffic accident and the car has one of the stickers they'll look for the child first. If it's a bad accident and the car is crumpled up that means they'll potentially spend a lot of time and effort looking for the child before seeing to the driver. The moral of the story is if you aren't actually carrying a child, take the sticker out.

My approach to my child's safety while driving is rather different. I drive properly. Seems to have worked so far.

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 04:48 AM

I read somewhere that the original sign was created after a baby was thrown clear from a bad crash & rescuers didn't realise it had been in the car & therefore didn't look for it. Reads like an urban legend (no baby bag stuffed with baby necessities? no toys?) so I looked in snopes & found the story was false! - the sign was designed as a safety measure

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Michael
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 04:02 AM

Translation:- "I'm hard,me, I got a bird, shagged her AND my sperm worked. And what's more I almost learnt to drive".

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 04:02 AM

"I'm trying to reach the tissues in the glove compartment to wipe off the puke on the cellphone I need to use".

Ah yes! I 'd forgotten that they're usually quacking twenty-to-the-dozen on their mobiles as they make their somewhat-less-than-stately-progress along The Queen's Highway (despite it being illegal and very dangerous). Presumably they think that the 'BOB' sign will save them from prosecution or an accident?

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Abdul The Bul Bul
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 03:55 AM

It really means" excuse my erratic and unpredictable driving, I'm trying to reach the tissues in the glove compartment to wipe off the puke on the cellphone I need to use".

Al

Subject: RE: BS: Baby on board
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 03:49 AM

Have you noticed it's those twerps with the 'BOB' signs that are always in the overtaking lane on the Motorways doing about 120 mph?

Apparently it's OK for them to risk their brats' necks, but not you or I.

Subject: BS: Baby on board
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Jul 09 - 03:44 AM

I keep seeing this sign in the rear windows of cars, WHY ? what is the point ? does it mean, if I see you without the sign it's OK to run into you ? beats me

Dave H