BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs

Subject: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 11:52 AM

Cat-"owners" know that they have actually been enslaved by their cats to open cans of [any]fish for them. (I suspect they may actually already HAVE opposable thumbs (OTs), but will not let us SEE them..... at any rate, if YOUR pet had OTs, what's some of the stuff they'd do?

Isis (cat) would use hers to wield the knife so she could eat our livers. Instead of waiting for our eventual deaths in our recliners, she'd take ruthless action. She might then cook them for friends-- we found her last night lurking in an obscure storage cabinet on top of a set of electric cooktop burners not in use. LOOKING AT US.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:14 PM

My little darling would use it to get that damned snail out from under the cooker where it's taken up residence... he's been picking at it for days now!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: heric
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:29 PM

My precious would probably just pick her butt with it, as she's a dog. But she might throw overhand and play-fetch herself to death.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 07:54 PM

They could hitch lifts.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:11 PM

They would booby trap your appliances and eat you after the "accident".

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:26 PM

Electric blankets..... scary. Would they dial the fire department, or bask?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 11:41 PM

I suspect that Benjamin (dog) would find it a lot easier to hold the pencil to do the Times Crossword.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 02:42 AM

Not if there's a cat around.. the cat would sit on the exact bit of paper where the clues are, despite there being 4 acres of paper not being read!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 03:15 AM

And it would probably puke up a hairball on the rest.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: MudGuard
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 03:58 AM

pets with opposable thumbs?

Oppossums ...

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 12:16 PM

opossum thumbs

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: heric
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 02:35 PM

You know the Hub Possum Stomp is an anagram for that. As is Busts Homo Pumps, but . . .

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:59 PM

All I know is that if our two cats had opposable thumbs, we'd be in trouble! Not exactly sure how, just that we would be. At the very least, I know our Nova would probably wreak all sorts of havoc on my computer. She'd also probably empty out our nighttable drawers. (All sorts of toys in there!)

-- Gary

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 05:04 PM

"She'd also probably empty out our nighttable drawers. (All sorts of toys in there!)"

7 or 8 clever but risqué remarks considered here...but ultimately rejected. Use your imagination.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 05:13 PM

"I'm picking up good vibrations...good, good, good vibrations...."
For sure they would let themselves in and out, open cupboards and drag pots and pans out for entertainment....

A

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 06:17 PM

Like rugrats.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 06:44 PM

If the dog had thumbs he could open the refrigerator and we'd always be out of cheese.
- Phil

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 07:44 PM

Not having thumbs never stopped Warlock our first golden labrador opening fridges and stealing stuff. Only childproof catches did that. Loki (the cat) would drive the camper as he enjoys trips out. Good job he can't release his lead/harness or there would be huge trouble especially with Aragon the lab. The cat would make his life a misery.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 07:50 PM

Both Benjamin and Bonnie (the not-very-intellectual Great Dane) learned how to open lever handle doors in seconds flat. I have known cats to toboggan down bannisters to get the right flight-path onto door levers to allow their lower body mass to obtain a similar effect.

The human answer is to turn the door-lever round by 90 degrees. The sideways action defeats the animal (and some humans too).

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 12:21 AM

The image of that cat tobogganing down a bannister in order to hit a door handle right will say with me for a long time, Richard!! :D



A

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Llanfair
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 05:42 AM

Monty, the border collie, would be able to drive with opposable thumbs, Spike, his son would be a gourmet cook. Willow, his mother, of course would do nothing, her being a princess and all.......

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 10:25 AM

Back in the day...(days of four felinities instead of two)...

In order to be let in the house:

Marmalade would sit on the shelf outside the kitchen window and silently go "eh" (his version of the silent meow) and think really hard, "Let me in, let me in" -- and we'd let him in.

Calliope would get into the same place, rear on her hind legs and scratch on the window. We'd let her in.

Foolish would sit in the middle of the driveway and make a noise like he was being torn to shreds by dogs...and we'd let him in.

Peppersass, however, had made the connection between the doorknob and the door's ability to open and close. But, alas, he didn't have opposable thumbs. So he hang from the doorknob and swing back and forth and make such a row we'd let him in.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 11:22 AM

Bill:

(*laughs*) Yeah, I guess I did leave a nice hanging curve ball over the plate there... 8-)

Sadly, the contents of my nighttable drawers are fairly boring, at least in that regard. Mostly an assortment of loose coins, watches, bookmarks, pens, old ticket stubs, a couple of Swiss Army knives, various membership cards, a couple of old alarm clocks, a Sony Walkman, and my old 35mm film camera.

-- Gary

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 11:58 AM

Yes but if your pet had opposable thumbs all that stuff would be in your CASE. Just to mess with your head, the nightstand and case contents would be swapped around. And the silverware in the kitchen-- fuhgeddabouddit-- that would reside in your TV stand's DVD storage drawer.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Art Thieme
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 06:19 PM

Susan,

If they had thumbs they would hire themselves out as film critics to Public Television.

The thumbs would be useful to indicate whether they liked the flick --------------------- or not.

(Art)

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: JenEllen
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 11:17 PM

Angus would be able to play both the bass and treble staff notes on the piano---William Tell Overture---and sing his favorite song:
to-the-park-to-the-park-to-the-park-park-park
to-the-place-where-we-go-and-we-bark-bark-bark
makes-us-happy-as-a-lark-lark-lark
to-the-paaaaaaaaark
to-the-park-park-park
*BG*

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 05:33 AM

She wins!

Hey darlin'-- great to see you.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Anne Lister
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 02:00 PM

Persia would work out (at last) how to open the upstairs windows to their fuller extent and then leap onto unsuspecting intruding cats in the garden, instead of swearing at them from the window sill.

As well as working out how to open her own foil packets of food (and the fridge).

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 05:44 PM

This thread is really thumbthing.

My rather dense uncle lost the thumb on his right hand. Ever since that happened he had to unzip his pants to count to ten.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 07:07 PM

How many dogs would get into the Viagra?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 11:03 PM

If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs, I'd be getting the rectal thermometer.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 12:42 AM

I would probably be scratching the screen door to be let in, because, except for the opposable thumbs deal, I think my cat'd be running the place, frankly.

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Aug 09 - 11:15 PM

THEY'D WARP THE INTERNET CONTINUUM

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 25 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM

So anyway I had near about forgot this thread, but then I saw my neighbor's dog sittin' in the driveway licking his balls and that got me thinking that, if he had opposable thumbs where he could like, uh, grasp the situation, so to speak, that opening the refrigerator just might not be his top priority. I'm just sayin'…
- Phil

Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Aug 09 - 10:39 PM

I hear ya. :~)

~S~