Origins: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore

Subject: That's a Moray (eel)... same tune as That's Amore
From: Mark Roffe
Date: 01 Aug 99 - 08:18 PM

Anybody know this one? It's to the tune of That's Amore, but instead of When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore, it goes sort of like:

When a fish bites your heel and the pain makes you reel
...that's a Moray!

Mark

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Aug 99 - 10:56 PM

Mark, I can't help with the song, but I've heard it too. Some time back in one of the folk newsgroups, there was a thread with all sorts of parodies to that song. A more (there's a little accent that goes over the 'e' that I can't figure out) A Murray, etc. Wish I'd saved it...

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Aug 99 - 12:10 AM

Actually, I thought that I was the first one to sing this parody!

When you reach in the sand
And something grabs your hand
that's a moray
When you swim on the reef
There's this thing with big teeth
That's a moray

Great minds think in patterns.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Rincon Roy
Date: 02 Aug 99 - 09:46 AM

too funny...

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From:
Date: 02 Aug 99 - 01:23 PM

I know how it ends...

'scusa me but you see when one look makes you flee that's a Moray.

Gee, I feel like Winston Smith

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 02 Aug 99 - 06:12 PM

I've long thought that many parodies would be better off with just one verse, or even just a portion of a verse. This is a fine example: the joke occurs on the second line, and any extension is mere repetition. It's a good joke, though.

Subject: RE: That's a Moor, eh?
From: Mark Clark
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 05:04 PM

I just received this one today as email and thought it ought to be added to this thread.

      - Mark

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand
And that's not what you planned
That's a moray.

When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four
That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife
She gets stabbed with a knife
That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight
Used a sword in a fight
That's Samurai

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 05:09 PM

Now that is clever, Mark.

Uhh, Murray

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: kendall
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 08:25 PM

Stick your hand in that crack and you wont pull it back, that's a Moray..

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Homeless
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 08:44 PM

Spider Robinson had a bunch of these in one of his Callahan books. There were puns on moire, Morrey (?) Amsterdam among others. In the particular story, it was a claurican that was singing the song.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: ddw
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 10:05 PM

Clever song, Mark, but that last verse is a bit of a stretch, don't you think?

cheers,

david

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 11:14 PM

Mark, that is an A-1, first class parody! I literally went "ALOL" reading that.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 11:36 PM

Well, Mark and Homeless, I was gonna add:

When you watch Dick Van Dyke
There's a funny little guy,
Atsa Morey!

Genie

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Genie
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 11:38 PM

or

Hear that stirring refrain
On the bagpipes they're playin'--
That's "The Morain."

Genie

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: SharonA
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 09:31 AM

"Do re me" is a song.
Hold the second note long:
That's some more "re".

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 01:35 PM

Maybe this thread explains why Naemanson was reciting some of these verses last night, in response to our sardonic comments to his plans of shifting to Sicily.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: ChanteyMatt
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 06:26 PM

See that thing in the reef With the big shiny teeth That's a moray.
Put your hand in that crack And you won't get it back From a moray.
He can swim he can guide But he'd rather hide in the coral.
If you dive stay alive Listen to me there's a moral

That was recorded by a guy in the Bahamas that goes by the name of The Barefoot Man.

I've written additional verses and used it in a couple performances.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Mark Clark
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 06:36 PM

Great, ChanteyMatt. I like it much better with the bridge.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 30 Jan 02 - 08:34 PM

If you wanna fight back
There's some shells in the sack
That's ammo, Ray

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: GUEST,proxy
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 11:12 AM

Michael Cooney supplies:

"When-a you swim inna da sea, an' a eel bites-a you knee, dat's a moray-

"-a New Zealander man with a permanent tan, that's a Maori-

"--when two patterns combine, in a way serpentine, that's a moire--

"--He tells jokes, he's a ham; his last name's Amsterdam-dat's-a Morey!

"--if yer vitamins be mostly C, D and E....take some more A--

"--oh, you play 'What'd I Say' very gay--won't you play that some more, Ray--

"--My new ray-gun here tries to put out both your eyes: it's a Moe-Ray--

"--If 'King Kong' has gone flat, rent the flick ' Vampire Bat': That's some more Wray."

(the 13 Commandment: Thou shalt not beat a dead horse)

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: cyder_drinker
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 02:49 PM

Geological Action,
Caused by Glacial Traction-
That's a moraine.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 03:29 PM

When you can't eat the stuff
It's not Kosher enough
That's ham, Murray

OK, I'll stop now.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM

Not just parodies, but Mondegreens too!

Kitty

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Micca
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 07:10 PM

and of course while on the subject there is, to a different tune..

Ye rugged barbecuers,
Oh come and hae yer fill.
They hae taen the Eel of Moray
And layed him on the grill.
He was a big fishy
And of eels was the king
It's the bonnie Eel of Moray
Whose praises we do sing.

Long will the hungry
Through the thick smoke look down
Ere they see the Eel of Moray
Is turning nice and brown.

Oh woe betide ye, Huntly.
You can only blame yersel
For I bid ye use the butter
And the oil to baste him well.
He was a braw fishy
And he weighed 'most 14 pound.
Now the Eel of Moray
Is turning black and brown.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 10:21 PM

When you're swimming in a creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 11:43 PM

When you get off your bike, and then go for a hike, that's a foray.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Genie
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:48 AM

What? No "du Maurier?"
"Lil' Mohee?"
"Maui?"
"Meowie?"
"... that's Bryn Mawr, eh?"

(OK, I'll stop.)

Genie

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Melani
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 01:16 AM

Okay.

"When you read a good book with a dark spooky look, that's du Maurier."

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Genie
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:37 PM

He's a cat with the jive
And he meows for Nine Lives,
That's-a Morris.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:18 PM

The cylindrical jars
Once found in Greek bars
That's amphorae

I think I'm going to need help stopping

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From:
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 09:49 PM

When an eel that you spy swimming by bites your thigh that's a moray!

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 10:27 PM

When an eel reaches out, and it bites off your snout,
That's a moray.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Nerd
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 01:48 AM

When the joke's gone so long
it's a fourteen hour song
that's a bore, eh?

when the verses don't stop
until both eyelids drop
that's a snore, eh?

And the former VP
who comes from Tennessee
is Al Gore, eh?


Actually, I always had a problem with the original song.

First of all, when does a big pizza pie HIT YOUR EYE? Ouch!

And second, if the MOON hit your eye you'd be in REAL trouble!

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Nerd
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 10:36 AM

When an English trad song
Has a synth and a gong
That's Jim Moray

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Cool Beans
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 01:30 PM

When on Tuesdays you visit
Your old prof. Who is it?
That's a Morrie.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 01:46 PM

My Canadian chum
Loves a deadbeat French bum
That's amour, eh?

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Rabbi-Sol
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 06:02 PM

When we were kids we used to sing the off color version:

When a rock
Hits your cock
And you're ready to f**k
Thats a boner

                   SOL ZELLER

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 07:53 PM

Well, actually it probably wouldn't be - any more...

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Fergie
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 11:32 AM

When Mens Rights of Antrim
Need a neat acronym
Thats M.R.A.
Thats M.R.A.

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: GUEST,winterbright
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 04:29 PM

When her car's Chevrolet, and she sings, "USA"... Dinah Shore, eh?
(Oops, I'm dating myself!)

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: HuwG
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 06:35 PM

It's a Welsh hole in the ground
And its wheels go around
That's Tymawr, aye !

Subject: RE: That's a Moray (eel)... after That's Amore
From: Nerd
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 06:38 PM

There are chicks
at this school
Who make Philly guys drool
That's Bryn Mawr, eh?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,winterbright
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 02:49 PM

Not in drawers 'B' through 'Z'
So you know it must be
there in drawer 'A'

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's A
From: pdq
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 05:44 PM

some more lyrics...

      When you step off the reef
      and get nothing but grief,
            that's a moray!

      When something clamps on your toe
      and it just won't let go.
            that's a moray!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,winterbright
Date: 13 Sep 04 - 10:28 AM

Seventeen - seven - six,
if with England you sticks,
you're a Tor(a)y!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,WildCornelius
Date: 28 Sep 04 - 03:42 AM

Charlton Heston and Chums,
They're all firing their guns,
That's NRA...

(Geeky version)

In the War of the Ring,
Aragorn became king
of Gondor, eh?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: Naemanson
Date: 28 Sep 04 - 07:31 PM

A Canadian man
Introduces his mom,
Dat's me mar, eh?

If a farmer has need
To cut some more feed,
He cuts some more hay.

If you get all you need
Of Vitamin B
You need More A.

He's a New Zealand man,
With a permanent tan,
He's a Maor-eh.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,Neither Dean nor Ween
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 06:50 PM

When Othello's brigands rape and pillage the land, that's a Moor raid.

When the docs see inside that the jock's knee is fried, that's MRI.

When a lobbyist cries, 'Handguns only SAVE lives', that's NRA.

When large gold nuggets shine in Canadian mines, that's some ore, eh?

When the moon has a sea, though as dry as can be, that's a mare.

When societal rules help us all keep our cool, that's a more.

When a glacier dries out and leaves rocks strewn about, that's a
moraine.

When Hawaiian man eyes isle with second-prize size, that's-a Maui.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 01:10 PM

A Canadian cruise
Gives you paddles to use
That's some oar, eh?

If the fellow you see
Could be that guy or me
That's him or I

When Romano has tried
To shoot guns, but goes wide
Aim some more, Ray

If you make a small sound
To make folks turn around
That's um or hey

When a single sun beam
Pushes you out the ring
That's Sumo Ray

If a loansharking Jew
Demands money from you
That's owe-Murray

When the TV show guest
Causes Povitch distress
That's Oh, Maury

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's A
From: Genie
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 03:22 PM

Good (i.e., groan-worthy) ones, Guest. But which guest are ya?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,Yalana Cotu
Date: 21 Nov 10 - 11:51 AM

If you go for a swim, and you don't come back in ... that's a Moray!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: kendall
Date: 21 Nov 10 - 03:12 PM

How can anyone not love a good parody?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,Yalana Cotu
Date: 21 Nov 10 - 10:16 PM

When you meet a big eel, and its teeth are like steel... that's a Moray.
If it's big and it's mean, and all slimy and green... that's a Moray.
If it looks like a snake, with a gape like a rake... that's a Moray.
If he's fanning his gills, better head for the hills... that's a Moray!

When you're diving at night, and you feel a sharp bite... that's a Moray.
As you flee from it's cave, it's aggressive and brave... that's a Moray.
It runs you out of depth, so you run short of breath... that's a Moray.
Then it hits all your fingers, with teeth that are stingers... that's a Moray!

So you scream, and you beg, but it still bites your leg... that's a Moray!
Then it bites on your thumb, takes a chunk off your bum... that's a Moray!
When the eel in the reef, has your junk in its teeth... that's a Moray!
So you blubber and scream, just like in, a bad dream... that's a Moray!!!

And when you've had enough, of this grim, grizzly stuff...
S - I - N - G... NO MORE! eh?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,Mary
Date: 27 Oct 14 - 03:45 AM

When an eel bites your heel and it's all you can feel,
that's a moray

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Oct 14 - 04:28 AM

In the bar we love so well
Where Louie used to dwell
That's at Mory's

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 27 Oct 14 - 06:26 PM

15 years and this thread should be rightfully dead but it gets more play!?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: Mark Clark
Date: 28 Oct 14 - 11:51 AM

When your thread should be dead
But it jogs someone's head,
That's some more play.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 28 Oct 14 - 12:59 PM

Stomach-heaving parody from my youth in Liverpool

When your boil suppurates and it runs on your plate,
Salmonella

They don't write them like that anymore!!
Jim Carroll

Subject: Lyr Add: THAT'S A MORAY (from The Barefoot Man)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Oct 14 - 10:28 PM

I found this on Spotify:


THAT'S A MORAY
As sung by The Barefoot Man on "Shoeless Classics: Vol. 1"

See the thing in the reef with the big shiny teeth; that's a moray.
Put your hand in the crack and you won't get it back from a moray.
He can swim; he can glide, but he'd rather hide in the coral.
If you dive, stay alive; listen to me, for there is a moral.

Use a prong ten feet long when you see that big eel called a moray.
He's hungry and you see you are the meal that he would adore-ay.
Down below we all know he's that meanie; they call him a moray.
Put your hand in the crack and you won't get it back from a moray.

See the thing in the reef with the big shiny teeth; that's a moray.
He's hungry and you see you are the meal he would adore-ay.
Down below we all know he's the meanie; they call him a moray.
Put your hand in the crack and you won't get it back from a moray.

Subject: Lyr Add: THAT'S A MORAY (from Another Dixie Band)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Oct 14 - 10:41 PM

The instrumental part of this performance is quite comical and is reminiscent of Spike Jones and His City Slickers.


THAT'S A MORAY
As recorded by Another Dixie Band on "And Now for Something Completely Different!" (1999)

There's a fish in the sea who is bad as can be; that's a moray.
If he gives you the eye as you're snorkelin' by, that's a moray.
When he asks you to dinner, you're gonna get thinner; that's certain.
If that snake-in-the-grass starts to go for your fork, you're a-hurtin'.

He is ugly and ornery and hungry and that's the whole storay.
He likes swimmers and divers and surfers and jet-skiers, too.
If he gets kinda close, you had better start headin' for shore-ay.
Windin' up as a snack like a fishy Big Mac is a bore-ay.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: open mike
Date: 01 Jan 17 - 02:38 PM

When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST,MobyD
Date: 08 Mar 17 - 05:25 PM

I can see your big grin,
So you must like poutine.
Have some more, eh?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: GUEST
Date: 24 May 18 - 09:35 AM

When the moon hits your knees,
and you mispronounce trees,
Sycamore.

When a grid's misaligned
with another behind
that's a Moiré

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That's a Moray (eel)...after That's Amore
From: gillymor
Date: 24 May 18 - 09:41 AM

When an eel reaches out,
And grabs hold of your snout,
That's a moray.

Subject: Lyr Add: THAT'S A MORAY (Allan Aunapu)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 17 Jun 18 - 07:55 PM

THAT'S A MORAY!
As recorded by Allan Aunapu on "Down on the Coast" (2010)

Put your hand in a crack and you don't get it back; that's a moray.
He's protecting his shack and he really doesn't like you, signore.
He's got nasty old teeth and he never does brush; that's his storay;
And you'll pay for that feel with a knot that won't heal; that's a moray.

Well of course you won't get it back from the moray.
Adding to his collection of hands keeps him quite busy.
He won't care much for folks, not even their jokes; what a pity!
His old lady's irate cause his part of the cave is so shitty.

So I get it; you want some revenge on the moray.
You go down to the Japanese rest'raunt and ask for some sushay.
When they serve up smoked eel, it just might reveal you're passe(?)
If true justice prevailed it'd be you on the plate, not the sushi.

If you think things are bad right now, they're gonna get worser.
People are still eating more eels than vice versa;
But if you don't mess with him, he won't mess with you; there's no worry.
He won't leave his cave; he likes lobster; he's not in a hurry.

But if you mess with his lobster, it's personal, and you'd better scurry.
He just may decide to have you with some curry.

Subject: Lyr Add: THAT'S AMORE (Brooks/Warren/Dean Martin)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 11:58 PM

It seems nobody has posted the original yet. How can you appreciate the parody if you don’t know the original? You can hear this at the Internet Archive:


THAT’S AMORE
Words by Jack Brooks, music by Harry Warren, ©1953
As recorded by Dean Martin, with Dick Stabile and His Orchestra, on Capitol 2589, 1953.
From the Paramount picture “The Caddy.”

In Napoli, where love is king,
When boy meets girl, here's what they sing:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.
When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore.
Bells will ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you’ll sing “Vita Bella!”
Hearts will play, tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay, like a gay tarantella.

When the stars make you drool just like pasta fazool, that’s amore.
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet, you’re in love.
When you walk in a dream but you know you’re not dreaming, signore,
Scusa me, but you see, back in old Napoli, that’s amore.

- - -
amore = love
vita bella = beautiful life. There is a song called "La vita è bella" (Life Is Beautiful) but I'm not sure that's what the songwriters had in mind.
tarantella = southern Italian folk dance in 6/8 time
pasta fazool = New York Italian dialect for pasta e fagioli, pasta and beans
signore = sir
scusa = excuse (but “excuse me” should be mi scusi)
Napoli = Naples