Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!

Subject: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 02:06 PM

Hey Folkies. That time has come yet again and the Blitherscrum Committee are making plans for this years Festival....... The first meeting took place at The Nickit and Bolt in Liverpool and the committee came up with a number of suggestions:-
1) A Park and Ride could be arranged with local farmer Rick Ovay who has offered use of his tractor/trailer for a small fee.
2) Portaloos could be used instead of the usual holes in the ground or at least we should have tents over the holes to offer some privacy.
3) Camp beds could be purchased for the bunkhouse... better than sleeping on the newly concreted floor.
4) Each performer should be tested under health and safety rules to ensure that the number of decibels reached is within government standards.
5) Bodhrans can still be used as frisbees but must be away from Farmer Giles windows. Last year he had three windows broken and two teeth.
6) Banjo tennis should however be banned due to decibel levels when the banjo connects with the cricket balls used.
7) Due to the recent rise in VAT, camping charges could be raised by 10% to cover the rise (This is not exploitation, merely good business)
8) Any discussion on Coalition policies is to be confined to the bunkhouse and preferably when all are asleep.

A number of stars have already been booked... some from previous years such as :- Jezlo, Vinegar Butt, Peeleyed Stan, The Doublinuppers, Dinnervan and Maya Karding.

Look forward to hearing who's coming and if you have any further suggestions before the final prep meeting.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 02:14 PM

I have to insist that if we go with tented holes in the ground that they be sex specific. A simple YES or NO hung above the door will do.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Paul Burke
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 02:27 PM

Will Sam and Ella be doing the catering this year?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: The Barden of England
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 02:31 PM

After years of asking I see Kid Sipper is not booked once again. Not too sure I want to go, especially after last years fiasco with the indoor camping. I found it particularly difficult to drive my tent pegs into that newly concreted floor!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 07:16 AM

There is to an underwater yodelling class held by the Highfield on the second day of the Festival..... and news has just reached me that the chip shop may not be open this year as their stocks of fish took a battering last year.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Dave Earl
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 08:08 AM

It is regretted but the Health and Safety have been checking out the Morris Dancing and come up with the following requirements for all morris dancing whether it be In Private (the best place for 'em) or in Public (Heaven forfend):-

All dancers to wear ear-defenders (The bells made me deaf you know )and hard hats (their skulls aren't thick enough).

High Vis Vests will replace baldricks and tatters HSE think the teams need to be more clearly seen (I can't imagine why -unless it's for shotgun toting husbands and fathers of female associate)Long sword dancers are to wear anti-stab vests in addition.

Sticks are to made of rubber and padded gloves will be worn as will Knee,Shin and elbow pads. Where used Hankies are to be in Dayglo colours. And in all circumstances steel toe-capped boots are to worn (Molly Dancers should not have trouble with this)

HSE have also ruled on Morris musicians! All drums and tabors are to be re-tuned using Stanley knives and Melodians and other squeezy things are to be fitted with silencers unless they are played underwater.

Does the committee think this to be a progessive course of action?

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Jack Campin
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 08:53 AM

What does a dayglo hanky mean? I can't see it here:

http://www.shipmatesclub.com/Hankie%20Code.htm

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Dave Earl
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 09:46 AM

My mistake !

Should be "Day Glow" as is bright florescent colours

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 10:19 AM

British Petroleum is sponsoring a tar ball toss at the beach front. Suggested attire "Hazmat Birkenstocks".
Immediately follows the underwater yodelling competition and keelhauling shanty demonstration.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 05:26 PM

Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why.............
Must you always pick dates that clash with much better festivals that many died in the brain folkies wanna go to (Again)?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 05:28 PM

PS if the archers are doing another demonstration can you split it into a couple of 15 minute sessions a day?
I found the all day omnibus version last year to be very tedious.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 05:37 AM

Yes the archers are going to be there again this year.. shooting arrows from an omnibus is difficult and health and safety have told us we must put a fence up to prevent stray arrows hitting performers. They will only be shooting from the omnibus in the morning of the second day so you won't get bored Tim... pierced maybe but not bored!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 06:14 AM

...Ah, Blitherscrum!

....the memories.....

.........the memories.....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 06:36 AM

No mention of the timing of the Air Bodhran Championship - normally the high point of the weekend and my main reason for attending. I would like to see Ringo McNoskin beaten for once.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 06:42 AM

Memories? They say blithers is like the 60's.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Dave Earl
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 11:28 AM

I don't remember the 60's either.

Was I there?

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 11:29 AM

..yes Dave, I saw you.....at least.....I think it was you......

......wasn't it?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 11:45 AM

You were at the Forgetting Your Words Workshop sponsored by the Blitherscrum and Whatever Alzeimers Association Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 11:52 AM

Then you wee behind me a the Pantomine Workshop sponsored by the Lib/Con Coalition Govt. Oh no you weren't. Oh Yes You Were

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 03:22 AM

Definitely not a pleasure having someone wee behind you at a workshop.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 04:05 AM

I meant blithers is like the 60s. As in .
I know I came in here for something.....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 05:46 AM

This sounds fantastic! I've never been to Blitherscrum as I can't stand music, singing, and dancing, but if you'd consider a Quiet Area (one could easily be built if we all brought our old egg boxes with us) it could be the ideal Staycation for me this year.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 09:05 AM

Guest Gail. There is always a stall selling ear defenders for those who actually want to be there but don't want to hear the music. They block the whole of the sound of course but should you want not to see the dancing you are allowed to close your eyes under the new rules.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 01:13 PM

Is the "poet in a pit" event going ahead?
There have so been so many rumors that it was canceled due to lack of poets or the water table being a problem.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 01:49 PM

The quietest spot at Blitherscrum is always the Air Bodhran Championships:-

PERFORMERS - silent
AUDIENCE - asleep
ADJUDICATORS - concentrating on their crosswords
STEWARDS - distracted and bored

Meanwhile, Ringo McNoskin makes rhythmic mistake after mistake in his competition performances. Now, I know that the Blitherscrum organising committee have given their reason for placing the the judges in a different marquee from the competition - that it prevents any favouritism on the part of the judging panel - but surely, at least part of a good air bodhran performance is the visual element?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 04:47 PM

Personally I'd favour individual, private listening booths at concerts instead of rows of seats. Between events they could serve as dining rooms, overnight sleeping cabins and commodes, thus easing many of the traditional festival pinch-points.

Still, congratulations to the Blitherscrum committee for the progress made to date and for your on-trend-Coalition-style-consulting-the-punter-policy-making-model.
My only quibble is that you haven't yet got enough rules. You could overcome this by taking on hundreds of stewards who can then make up the rules as they go along. Bingo!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 05:12 PM

I present all good ideas to the committee and they are discussed over a singaround at the local Folk Club.... After a few jars of real ale, the best ideas are taken up and the rest filed in the WPB. Much like the House of Commons really.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 09:38 PM

Bingo? What an excellent idea.
(the game not the song)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Splott Man
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 03:59 AM

I misunderstood the Air Bodhran, and had visions of a sort of clay-pigeon shoot. Although...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 04:36 AM

Was done last year as Clay Bodhran shooting (extra points were awarded if the player was still holding the bodhran)This year Blitherscrum is having a Pick Your Own bodhran facility . Some goats will be in a small field and you can pick which one you want watch it being slaughtered skinned and your fresh bodhran will appear. Wicked melodramatic laugh whilst twirling my moustache

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 05:05 AM

I prefer the whole goat method.
you just fasten a goat to a wooden frame and beat it wiv a stick...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 05:47 AM

Sorry, me again. You'll have guessed by now that my main interest is in cack-handed dexterity (improvers level).

Just one last question before I order my tickets. Where does the committee stand on sitting down? Can we lie around on picnic blankets or do we have to perch naked on other people's shoulders?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 05:54 AM

Gail
You could take away the celebratory CD as a memento. It contains such songs as "Sound of Silence", "Silent Night" , "All things are quite silent.." "The(un)quiet grave" , "Silence is golden", ...and..as they say...many others. There may even be a special rendition of Tom Lehrer's "Silent E"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 06:07 AM

How about booking that great harmony group
"The Cook Boys and Simpsons" or the equally talented "Martin ,Wind and Reed" or the shanty singing cowboys "The Young Guns" or that drunken bundh of Northerners "Jim McGin and the Keel overs"
I could always put in a word for "The Farting Roaries"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 07:00 AM

I thought they were called the Roarin Fairies Geoff

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 01:22 PM

Apparently we have succeeded in getting the Scottish Asian group "The Curries" to head the final concert...... Also those madheads the Muck Almonds in support.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 04:20 PM

"The Curries"? Aren't they the ones that sing that song about the Travellers going to the Blairgowrie fruit fields to pick the berry-anis.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: MC Fat
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 03:15 AM

Have you managed to get Chapati Bell as well

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 04:04 AM

ROFLOL @ McFat... that had me roaring.. "The Curries and Chapati Bell" so funny!!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:30 AM

Blitherscrum welcomes Johnny Adams who is going to be performing with his father..... Pop Adam

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:54 AM

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:55 AM

Sorry!
Is his Nan performing too?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:59 AM

The famous Indian Bollywood star GERUPTA SINGH may make an appearance promoting his new album Curry-Oke Favourites. There all there: Tears on My Pillau, Chapati's Over, Papadom Preach, Dhansak On The Ceiling, I Love a Lhassie, Roti to Hell, Don't Karai For Me Argentina, You Can Keep Your Chat On, Mama We're All Jalfrezi Now, You Can't Curry Love..........

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 07:19 AM

...and a bonus track, Korma Chameleon

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 07:43 AM

Sorry but Gerupta was rushed unconscious to hospital last night.. he had been injecting liquified curry powder.... Latest news suggests "He's still in a Korma'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 07:56 AM

I had heard he had just invented a new curry dish called a Tarka it's sort of like a Tikka but a little 'otter

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:22 AM

Hope he won't need Keema therapy!
Not sure I was enamoured of the track "Sagaloo..loo...loo"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:24 AM

and I didn't much care for "Paperback Raitha"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:33 AM

though I quite liked "All around my Chaat"!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:37 AM

I hear his next CD will include those old favourites "Blow the Nan down " and "Bring us a Bhalti"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 09:36 AM

Latest news just in.... Fabio Capello phoned the head of the committee and asked "Can you manage"?... The head replied "No way!! It's your mess get yourself out of it!!!"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:07 AM

All trad football chants/songs to be in 4/2 time or 4/1

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:16 AM

Damn, everyone knows we are better at 4/4/3

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:25 AM

That's a harmonious blend of 4/4/2 and 4/3/3 of course. Or it may just have been a typing error.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 01:06 PM

Oh No don't talk about football.. I put my England shirt to dry on the outside line last night... and this morning I found the pegs had been stolen!!!!
Not only that... I expected that heavy fall of rain last night... I heard that a right shower was coming from Africa.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:40 PM

Football?
WasssSaaAaaat?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 06:57 AM

Breaking News that Stanley Knives are sponsoring the Bodhran Championships. The Pick Your Own Bodhran service will be sponsored by Moor and Coast who will have two new lines on the menu Goat Curry and Kebabs

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 06:58 AM

The committee have informed me that Willam McTell... (the Folk singer who shoots apples off his sons head with bow and arrow) will be performing for us... at Blitherscrum this year.   It has been decided that see through tents,,, such as that used by that gorgeous blonde last year are to be banned this year as the noise from some of the men watching her get ready for bed kept their wives awake.
Still open to suggestions for a few more performers and anything we can do to make it a happier festival... It has become better each year so far, let's keep it up!.. if you pardon the expression!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:08 AM

Rumour has it that the Spanners are to reform for the event

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:34 AM

I heard that they are a great turn!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:38 AM

The SAGA Mobility Scooter Morris Side are also thinking of performing. Along with The Blitherscrum Old Folks Home Zimmer Sword Team just how they intertwine those zimmers without falling over is amazing.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 12:59 PM

Jack, one of the Old Folks Home Sword team. sings "Zimmer time, and the Living is Easy" whilst they perform... gotta be worth a watch.
Also one of the residents.. a woman rides a motorcycle... a Vincent I think. She suffers highly from Blood Pressure so they nicknamed her 'Red Molly'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 01:12 PM

I really hope that the Spanners do reform for Blitherscrum. I love their version of "Turn, Turn Again".

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 01:17 PM

Is it true that the Welsh singer David Wrench is the support act on the Spanners' concert?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 02:06 PM

I think David is actually in a home at the moment... having trouble getting a grip on life I heard.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:23 PM

Let's keep this British I find American threads tend to be awkward.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 02:11 AM

I agree... some nut always seems to screw things up a bit.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: MC Fat
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 02:57 AM

David's wife Monkey will possibly be a guest member in the support group Jock's Trap

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 05:26 AM

Love the spanners do the Irish washer woman, though not sure is suitable for a mixed gathering.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 05:43 AM

These comments just reminded me of what happened at Blitherscrum about four months ago.... A patient from the 'Special Unit' at the local Mental Hospital escaped, went into Blitherscrum Laundrette, raped three women and ran off. The headlines in the following days Blitherscrum Guardian were "Nut screws washers and bolts"!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 06:17 AM

Wasn't that the same nutters who killed two people at Blitherscrum TESCOs. Apparantly he was a hitman called Artie and he would top off people for a quid. This Blitherscrum resident wanted his wife bumped off so he shows Artie a photo of her and says she does the weekly shop every Thursday at TESCO. Artie follows her round and every time he tries to choke her there's someone around eventually she has nearly finished her shop so he just goes for it a throttles her but a till girl has noticed so as he flees he strangles her too the headline that time was ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 06:55 AM

Don't you just love traditional jokes!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:06 AM

Apparently the fringe is featuring the Spanners' tribute group "Steeleye Spanner"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:28 AM

Aren't THE ALBUMEN BAND reforming too

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:35 AM

Anyway, to get back to the serious business of the Festival.... The fish and chip shop will not be serving peas this year as the word 'peas' is no longer PC..... It sounds too much like pees.
We are still looking for Stewards for this years event.... so far we have only three only...Jo King Will Guidum... and E Jectum........ Jo King has been around the Blitherscrum Festival for a number of years and always gets a good laugh.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:55 AM

does that mean the chippie won't be serving pollock either?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:59 AM

or cod pieces?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 08:01 AM

Kika Mout doesn't take any nonsense and might be available.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 08:55 AM

Maureen Myjobsworth is a good person to have on the door for any event... except, of course, that she makes it a rule never to let people get in.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 09:17 AM

The Cloakroom for those who wish to leave items of over clothing will be manned this year again by our two Asian friends Mahatma Coat and Mayum Brela

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 09:24 AM

But please try to avoid Renata Bogroll in the toilets this time.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 11:30 AM

Yes. let's a better role for Renata and while we are about it could we have someone different on the sound desk than Noah I. Deer?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 11:35 AM

Kent Cummin should keep out any undesirables

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 04:28 PM

No, that's C.Sonticketsonly's job.

Rhonnda Vapplause doing the MC'ing, no doubt.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 05:34 PM

Could be Avina Goodclap MCing.......
Mike Ondablink and Ivor Duffone are sorting the PA system again.
Promises to be the best Festival ever this year.. who's coming then??

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 06:25 AM

Apparently Jezlo is bringing his backing group 'The Bad Penis' this year....
The committee has decided on a new strategy regarding health and safety and the decibel limit... guitar strings at this years festival must be made of cotton or some softer material thus reducing the sound output to a reasonable level.... and bodhrans cannot have skins but must be made of silk or satin on the wood frame.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 06:33 AM

Jolly good ideas. Any chance dancers' bells could to be made of candy floss, or at least be baffled between sunset and sunrise? As indeed most festival goers are.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 06:50 AM

By the way, I saw The Bad Penis when Penny Cillin was with them. They were good live but I wouldn't touch their re-issued VDV.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 03:31 PM

They said they didn't have D VD

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 02 Jul 10 - 05:20 PM

Avina Goodclap might know something about it.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 12:40 AM

Whilst on the subject... the problem with the PA last year... not 'transmitting!' has been solved
It was not an electrically transmitted disease but a bug in the system.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tangledwood
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 05:02 AM

It is regretted but the Health and Safety have been checking out the Morris Dancing and come up with the following requirements for all morris dancing whether it be In Private (the best place for 'em) or in Public (Heaven forfend):-

Where used Hankies are to be in Dayglo colours.

Does the committee think this to be a progessive course of action?

Dave

Dayglo colours would certainly aid in avoiding used Hankies but the progressive course of action would to be to use disposable tissues which should be disposed of, thoughtfully, after every dance.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 08:32 AM

I feel that the Blitherscrum Folk Festival would have been able to hold its head up higher on the folk scene - and would have been able to have book a more attractive bill for 2010 if it had not been for the dubious activities and actions of the financial sub-committee. I propose to name them here as the current Blitherscrum organisers are deparately seeking to trace the three women involved. They are:-

May Doff
Viv All
Dee Takings

I believe that the Blitherscrum police would also like to talk to these people.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 09:48 AM

If I had known May was involved I could have alerted you to one of her known accomplices, her East Asian father in law Mr.Ying.
I'd be surprised if this crime was just May Doff without Pa Ying.

This is most disappointing news. Although I am a newbie, a mere Blitherscrum Lately, I had scrubbed my schedules ready for this festival.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 12:15 PM

It must also be admitted that the song repertoire of some of the festival regulars includes some dreadfully hackneyed material. I'm talking about the likes of:-

Ivy Beana
Will Drover-Form
Ann E. O'Year

Come on you three! Learn some new songs!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 06:34 PM

Although both have had problems with their backs.. The McClavicles are appearing this year..... So pleased they can shoulder the weight of performing at our wonderful Festival.....
Blary Mack may also put in an appearance so I am informed.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 03 Jul 10 - 06:58 PM

Even at this late stage, Blitherscrum Morris are hoping to recruit new dancers as old age and decrepitude has been taking its toll. Contact any of the current active members who are:-

Fee Tup
Hans A. Rowan
Arth Jip
Kay Pers
Cy D. Steppe
Gay Lee
Dan Sout

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 01:41 AM

Since there are areas of the caravanning field which have grass growing at a greater rate than in others, only caravans with toilets will be admitted this year.
Anyone planning on using said field must get in touch with Family Planning before booking to check on Health and Safety measures.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Mr Red
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 10:30 AM

Is the inclusion of Mandy Green any way connected with Miss Sheard?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Dave Earl
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 03:36 PM

100

Is that the number of people attending

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: TheSnail
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 04:06 PM

I trust that there will be a Longest Beard competition this year and, with proper respect for Political Correctitude, no restrictions on the gender of participants or the location of the beard.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 04:48 PM

Yes the location of the beard has to be Blitherscrum!! No good leaving it at home eh??

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 05:46 PM

If it's not too late, Wanda Watson and Luke Itupp always do a great job selling the Programmes.
Can I also make a plea for a return to the 12 hour clock in the programme, as 24 hours is too long for my age group.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tangledwood
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 06:54 PM

Can I also make a plea for a return to the 12 hour clock in the programme, as 24 hours is too long for my age group.

That certainly gets my vote. For the same reason could preference be given to playing tunes in 4/4 instead of 6/8?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 02:03 AM

Guest Gail.
It's a pleasure to have you on board.. your input has been so interesting.. As a newbie to the Festival I am sure you will find things a little unusual to say the least but the more the merrier.. thank you!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 09:34 AM

Why Mr/Ms Georgiansilver, how very civil and welcoming of you. As I have no connection (that I know of) with any of the committee I appreciate your encouragement very much indeed.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 10:01 AM

The Noise Abatement Society has complained that morris bands are frightening the local livestock.

Therefore, morris sides will be obliged to wear earphones which will receive a broadcast from their respective bands playing in soundproofed premises.

Dancers must wear gags, dayglo if preferred, to alleviate spontaneous whoops, shouts etc emanating during the performances.

Also, clogs, staves, coconut shells & bells must be swathed in bubblewrap & polystyrene to maintain silence

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 04:29 PM

Bubblewrap! That's a musical instrument where I come from.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 05:33 PM

'Pop' music not Folk obviously Gail.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tangledwood
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 07:26 PM

Bubblewrap! That's a musical instrument where I come from.

Wow! You must play to packed venues.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jul 10 - 11:19 AM

As I said... probably 'pop' music or maybe 'rap' too... and yes Tanglewood... obviously to packed venues.. unless people are tied up and can't come. LOL

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Jul 10 - 11:35 AM

New legislation passed by the coalition government concerning live music events has some inherent changes included.

Microphones & amplifiers may be used without a licence as long as they are not switched on.

Marquees & other festival structures can be used without a licence as long as they do not contain poles, frames, walls or roofs.

Conductors of children's activities do not require any screening as long as no children participate.

Belly dancing workshops should require facilitators & participants to wear English traditional costume, consisting of battered straw hat, full length smock & optional corn stalk dangling loosely from lips.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 07 Jul 10 - 11:39 AM

Poly Styrene? Surely she and her band X-Ray Spex were punk rather than pop or rap?

Mr Happy calls for polystyrene to maintain silence. I tell you, you'd have trouble getting her to keep quiet!

And, anyway, isn't Blitherscrum meant to be a folk festival? .....moan.... grumble.....

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 07 Jul 10 - 11:42 AM

Actually, I like to think of my bubblewrap music as more of a protection racket.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 10 - 02:18 AM

All food sold at the event this year will be subject to Blitherscrum town council taxation B.A.T (Blither Added Tax) . This is due to Blitherscrum now becoming a 'freetown' (not under government control). It is thought that many more towns will make a bid for freedom as it is so much easier to govern a small area.
They are insisting that at least two of the committe are Blitherscrum Undergovernment Members (BUMs)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tangledwood
Date: 08 Jul 10 - 03:51 AM

Belly dancing workshops should require facilitators & participants to wear English traditional costume, consisting of battered straw hat, full length smock & optional corn stalk dangling loosely from lips.

You can keep your belly dancing after last year's rejection.
When I applied to take part they said that I was over qualified.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 10 - 04:08 AM

LOL @ TW

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Valmai Goodyear
Date: 08 Jul 10 - 08:24 AM

Please, please, please can we have a long-overdue lecture from Dr. 'Death' Rowe on the influence of braces on the styles of Southern English singers, with Powerpoint presentation?

Valmai (Lewes)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 08 Jul 10 - 08:50 AM

The influence of braces???? Oh belt up, Valmai!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 10 - 09:19 AM

That is actually a good idea by gum!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 05:45 AM

The temperature at Blitherscrum today is at its highest for over 70 years. The river blither withers..... the grass on the campsite is brown..... as it was after the last festival but this time it's the sun causing it.
The committee have decided that the bodhran juggling contest can go ahead this year which is good news.
The bad news is that Eddie Baker has been to the court of human rights in Strasbourg where it has been said that it would be infringing on his human rights not to allow him to drive his rattling old boneshaker/muck spreader through the town and past the campsite.
Cakes and cookies will be sold by the WI but without chocolate chips in.. for obvious reasons.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 01:15 PM

Campers are reminded that the environmentally friendly portaloos are now up and running.

The mens urinal has straw bales inside & we ask that fluids are directed on to them to assist breakdown of the fibres which can later be spread on the land as fertiliser.

We would have hoped to provide similar facilities for the ladies, but even with seats on the bales, its all too easy for solids to be accidentally deposited.

Using the model of separate bins for recyclable waste, we've applied this principle to the portaloos.

The brown loos are for solids only.

The yellow loos are for fluids only.


For users experiencing difficulties in separating their waste products, please collect bottles, funnels, tubes etc from the festival office.

These are supplied free of charge

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 02:53 PM

Additionally, tealeaves are not to be poured down the sinks as they block the drains.

Please adhere to this notice!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 04:41 PM

At the FSGW Getaway in October, Lonesome EJ is offering a Gordon Lightfoot Marathon in which he will perform every song by the famous Mr. Lightfoot. Last year's effort was ruined by a gust of wind.
Perhaps you could invite Ernie to Blitherscrum?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 05:06 PM

Ours could be improved by gusts of wind this year as a modern day 'Petomane' is entertaining in the bunkhouse at night. Of course no candles or other naked lights are to be allowed in the bunkhouse at night to avoid risk of explosion... or spontaneous hiuman combustion.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 09 Jul 10 - 05:55 PM

Gusts of wind do the trick but are unreliable. Ideally the bunkhouse's Petomane Arena should only have top bunks to eliminate any discomfort down below.

Also, rather than waste any valuable gases, why not ask the Petomane tribute act (Wilf Hart)to perform in the kitchen instead? Enough energy could be harnessed to keep a kettle boiling all day.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 10 Jul 10 - 07:25 AM

re toilet facilities.
I am hoping to attend with 60 members of the prune juice and cabbage fanciers outward bounders this year.
As you know this dietary restriction does lead to a great deal of color blindness among its adherents.
Any electric hook ups for tents btw?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 10 - 07:56 AM

Sorry Tim. Have to enlighten you... but no hook up for tents..
There are however lights by each tent space which may be switched on and off as required and Cleah Vehews glass company have offered to fit double glazing to anyones tent who requires it. This would let adequate light into the tent if sited correctly.
Anyone caught hanging around all day in their tents will be arrested under the "Loitering within tent" law!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Jul 10 - 08:11 AM

The local Probation Service are providing free slaves offenders on community service orders to carry out any duties on site as necessary.

Campers needing water supplies can call upon these people to fetch & carry the very heavy containers from the tap to individual tents.

Also, auxilliary electricity power supply will be available 24hr, generated via use of human powered treadmills.

For those on limited income requiring transport from the station or into town for shopping, rickshaws will be on hand, pulled by cheery, willing recidivists!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 10 - 05:53 PM

That's as well as Rick Ovays tractor and trailer which will be available for hire all weekend.