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BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla...
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Subject: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Bobert Date: 20 Aug 10 - 09:02 PM well, sheet fire... Seems that things are a tad slow here in the Dog Days of Summer and there's another thread about makin' love in a canoe so I figured, "What the hell"... Now this ain't a denial thread where folks get up and and give testimony that they haven't made love with a gorilla... Or any other non humans, fir that matter... This is, however, a "The-truth-will-set-you-free" thread where if any of ya'll perverts have carnal knowledge of farm or zoo animals to come (bad choice of words) clean... Not that I ahve any pictorial evidence on any of ya'lls but I have my suspicions about a few of ya's... Hey, not to be making no judements here... If ya'll want do that kinda stuff and the gorilla or the goat consents then I say, "Live and let live'... Know what I mean??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Rapparee Date: 20 Aug 10 - 09:05 PM Well, I knew a cook in Army who had a thing for chickens, and a man who claimed to have learned the hard was that a calf's tongue is more like a wood rasp than you'd imagine. 'Course, you can never tell about them folks down in the Ginny hills.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: jeddy Date: 20 Aug 10 - 09:22 PM sick thread! i have just got over feeling sick after watching a video on FB of a monkey raping a toad. please, i know you must be bored but.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Bobert Date: 20 Aug 10 - 09:28 PM Well, yeah, Rap... In addition to some folks here, I do also have some suspicions about some of my neighbors... But nevermind my neigbors fir now... So, Rap... You ready to, ahhhhhh, go first here??? I mean, hey, it was a long time ago, right??? What the hey??? Couple of Iron City Beers an', well... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Bobert Date: 20 Aug 10 - 09:35 PM Monkey raping a toad, ya say, jed??? Man, that is disgusting... But I heard it another way from this guy who's cousin is the defense attorney for the the monkey and according to my cousin the word on the street (and in the halls of justice) is that the toad not only led the monkey on but sent him nude piccures over the email??? I donno about this stuff, myself??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: jeddy Date: 20 Aug 10 - 09:54 PM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1k be warned, it is horrendous to watch! i only opened it because of the disscussion we had a while ago about animal rape. it has taken me all day to get the image out of my head and to stop feeling sick. in fact, just that first picture has started it off again...urrrghh. x x x x |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: mousethief Date: 20 Aug 10 - 10:10 PM I made love to my first wife. That's close. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Ebbie Date: 20 Aug 10 - 10:22 PM I'm not tellin' about the gorilla I seduced. Nosirreeee |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Aug 10 - 11:27 PM I'm sure Chongo has plenty to say about this... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Gurney Date: 21 Aug 10 - 01:27 AM Jake Thackray had a song about gorilla rape, but the other way around. Brother Gorilla. He didn't write it, but translated it from the French. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: JennieG Date: 21 Aug 10 - 02:51 AM What happens in the jungle......stays in the jungle! Cheers JennieG |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Aug 10 - 03:49 AM Georges Brassens was the person who wrote 'Le gorille'. I agree with JennieG... it should stay in the jungle! (and for members of SPROJ - 'Oh it was a lady gorilla, there's nothing funny about Carruthers!' - wish I could remember the rest of the joke....) LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Georgiansilver Date: 21 Aug 10 - 05:17 AM What about a Moose? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Bill D Date: 21 Aug 10 - 12:10 PM ♫Gorrila my dreams, I love you..♫ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 21 Aug 10 - 01:03 PM Okay. Number 1, Gorillas don't make love. They ain't that sensitive. How do I put this delicate, like? They merely "have it on", okay? They get their ashes hauled. They peel the mango. They ram the rhino. They do the dirty deed. Pretty frequently too, so I hear, but never for more than about 10 or 15 seconds. You'd have to wonder what all the fuss was about, considerin' how short a time they last. Now, it is a fact that nothin' else that lives will willingly have it on with a Gorilla. Why? Because they are butt-ugly, that's why, and they smell. No other primate would touch a gorilla with a ten foot pole...or a 5 inch stick, if ya get my meanin'! Ook! Ook! :-D Nevertheless, there are lurid tales of Gorillas carryin' off human dames and other hapless victims of various species so they could "have their way" with them. I suspect there may be an element of truth to these stories, though too, they mighta been exaggerated some. There is the case of King Kong, which is well known. He totally lost his head over a blonde human dame, but the size difference between 'em made sex impossible, so he settled for worshippin' her from afar, so to speak, and ended up dead for his troubles. This should serve as a caution to those who get carried away with what is clearly an unattainable love. Anyways, I figger that the problem is that female Gorillas, not bein' entirely without some discrimination and taste, probably just ain't that enamoured of the idea of lettin' the average male Gorilla have his way with them 25 or 30 times a day. So they say, "Buzz off, Charlie!" This results in the male Gorillas bein' sexually frustrated most of the time, which is not good. They get crabby, they pick fights over nothin', and they abduct females of other species to satisfy their unslaked lust! This is why you gotta watch them male Gorillas carefully at all times. And I do. Trust me. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Rapparee Date: 21 Aug 10 - 01:20 PM Chngo, there are some videos of YOU around too, you know.... There's that one in the men's room of Frankie's South Side Bar in Chicago that's considered a classic of its sort...I mean, black socks and everything.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Bill D Date: 21 Aug 10 - 01:24 PM "They get crabby, they pick fights over nothin'" But that can prove useful! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Bobert Date: 21 Aug 10 - 02:06 PM Life accordin' to Chongz... Hmmmmmmm??? Sorry he had a bad experience with a gorilla but maybe it was Chongz who was in in the big hurry and not the gorilla??? Yeah, prolly had her wonderin' if that's all chimps have to offer if the boy only held up for 10 to 15 seconds... Maybe Chongz needs to see one of them sex theapists to get his business straight... B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 21 Aug 10 - 02:28 PM You insinuatin' that I've had sex with Gorillas? Hmm? Is that what yer sayin'? I sure hope not, cos I would hate to hafta come down there to Wes' Jinny and teach you a thing or two, but I will do it if there is no other way. Capiche? - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Joe_F Date: 21 Aug 10 - 06:05 PM An acquaintance of mine confessed that in his rural you he held a sheep while a friend of his had his wicked will of it. Afterward, they worried that the next lamb might resemble him, but that turned out not to happen. Some years ago, in the journal _Science_, there was a report (with a still shown) of a movie, taken from a bathysphere, of a sexual encounter between two male octopuses of different species. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: GUEST,strad Date: 22 Aug 10 - 07:15 AM My favourite gorilla story: A guy takes his wife to a zoo and they stop outside the gorilla cage. The gorilla reaches through the bars and drags the wife into his cage and starts getting amorous with her. "What shall I do?" she screams. The husband just says "Do what you usually do. Tell him you've got a headache." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: GUEST,amergin Date: 22 Aug 10 - 08:54 AM Chongo...it is only sex if it is consensual... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Jim Carroll Date: 23 Aug 10 - 03:36 AM A shaggy gorilla folktale During the depression in America a small, rather seedy circus used to tour the towns of the Mid-West. Unfunny clowns, acrobats who fell over, flea-bitten performing dogs, lame horses, the circus had nothing going for it - except the gorilla. The gorilla was MAGNIFICENT It would swing into the ring, throw itself against the bars of the cage dividing the acts from the audience, emit mighty roars, reach out through the bars, beat its chest- it would scare the audience shitless - they came in their hundreds for miles to see it - it was the backbone of the circus. Fine; until the day the keeper went to feed it and found it hunched up in the corner of its cage, staring into the distance. They panicked. They tried everything, extra food, they prodded it with sticks, they even fed it moonshine whiskey - nothing; no response whatever They eventually sent for a vet, who examined it carefully and finally pronounced that there was nothing physically wrong and all he could think of was that it needed female companionship. "Where are we going to get a female gorilla?" Finally they settled on a plan; they would hire a gorrila suit from the fancy dress store in a local town and somebody would put it on, get into the cage and 'try to talk it out of its depression' - so to speak. But who? None of the circus crew, even with the offers of large sums of money, would agree to get in the cage with the gorilla. At that time, during the depression, the country was full of wandering hobos, travelling from town to town trying to pick up the odd job. They found one of these on the road, brought him back to the site, gave him a slap up meal and told him their predicament. At first he flat refused; but gradually, with much persuasion and increasingly large offers of sums of money, he reluctantly agreed to get in the cage - on two conditions. Firstly - there had to be a team of men with ropes, hooks and nets standing by throughout the proceedings ready to intervene in case of serious trouble. Secondly - because of the gorilla's extreme ugliness, it would have to be masked, with a bag over its head (with eye-holes, of course). Preparations were maade, the hobo donned the gorilla suit and nervouly sidled into the cage, where the gorrilla squatted as usual, hunched up, staring into space. The hobo sat down, leaning with his back to the bars, and waited, and waited, and waited....... until the gorilla finally looked up complacently, slowly got up on all fours, and shambled over, sitting down next to him. After a while it gently placed its arm around your man's shoulders and began to fondle and stroke him and nibbling his ear, gradually becoming more and more passionate, until it finally proceeded with the dirty deed. After a minute or so, the man in the gorilla suit began to scream, "Take it off, take it off". The team rushed in with their hooks, nets and ropes and began to drag the gorilla off the man. "No, no", he said, "take the mask off - I want to kiss it". Jim Carroll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: GUEST,Patsy Date: 23 Aug 10 - 07:55 AM Well I've heard, I don't know if it is true that despite their brute masculine appearance the gorilla is not too well endowed in the trouser department. Methinks Fay Wray would have been a tad disappointed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Aug 10 - 11:20 AM Patsy - I had heard the same thing... and it wasn't for his opposable thumb that Jane Goodall named her favourite gorilla 'digit'... Besides, imagine the trouble it would cause, swinging through trees all day.... Jim, the way I heard that one, the hobo was asked if he would make love to the gorilla for £250. The hobo thought long and deeply, and finally answered. 'I will make love to the gorilla for £250 on three conditions. One, that there be a vet on standby with a dart gun just in case things get rough. Two, that any children of the union be brought up Catholic and three, can I pay you the £250 in installments? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Aug 10 - 11:27 AM LOL!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: SINSULL Date: 24 Aug 10 - 09:51 AM Big Mick must have some thoughts/advice on this. He and KoKo were quite an "item" a few years back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Aug 10 - 11:55 AM I thought it was Orangutans that Mick went for... ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: frogprince Date: 24 Aug 10 - 07:46 PM My wife was once present for at least part of a psychiatric evaluation of a farm hand, after the farmer walked in at the wrong moment and found out what had been killing a numbe of the chickens. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Makin' Love to a Gorilla... From: Art Thieme Date: 24 Aug 10 - 08:56 PM Simeon and Garfunkel were into that I think. |
