BS: What get's you torqued???

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 14 Nov 10 - 01:45 AM

What gets me torqued? Why, the incorrect & otiose use of the apostrophe before the final `s` of plurals or 3rd-person-singulars, that's what [used here correctly to indicate missing letter!]

Want an example? Just look above at the thread title!

Luvyaz·all justa·same!

~MthePEDANT~

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 11:57 AM

Some have dark hair, some light, and some white. Alas, there are many no hair at all.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM

Hell I turned at 18, I was one of the white hairs by my late 20's ... Now I will take any hair ... sheetfir as you say ... gimme purple I will take it ... gimme orange or green ... now I gots shiney ... that is what I gots ... two ways to wear my hair (hats on or hats off)

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 08:52 PM

Well, I just watched LH's video and it ain't fair... He's got all that dark hair... I mean, we're both the same age but mine went gray in my early 30's and been thinnin' out the last 10 years... Even my gray pony tail looks like a dime store clip-on...

Grrrrrrrr... Frosts my willie burger, fir sure!!!

B~

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 08:29 PM

LOL and what did he call ya Captain

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: kendall
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 07:45 PM

I was named 36 years after my Father.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 01:01 PM

Speaking of names with an apostrophe in them—

I have a similar problem. My father was also named Jim Dixon. (Well, James, to be exact.) That makes me "James Dixon, Jr." The trouble is, computers and the people who program them and enter data into them don't know what to do with "Jr."

Sometimes they add it onto my last name. This makes it appear to the computer that "Dixon, Jr." is a different last name than "Dixon." Or they might add it onto my first name. Some more sophisticated databases actually have a separate field called a "suffix," for holding things like "Jr." or "III" or "M.D."—but that doesn't mean that the people who use those databases know how to use them in any uniform or predictable way.

Also, they might or might not know how to use punctuation with "Jr", and the computer might use or ignore punctuation.

There's no telling where my name might appear in an alphabetized list:

 Disney, Walt
  Dixon Jr., James
  Dixon, Jacob
  Dixon, James
  Dixon, James Arthur
  Dixon, James Jr.
  Dixon, James Robert
  Dixon, James, Jr.
  Dixon, Jason
  Dixon, Jr., James
  Dixon, Julius

Any of those names in boldface might be me.

Many's the time I've been told, "Sorry, we don't have that name in our files," when actually they did have it; they just weren't looking in the right place.

After I realized how much confusion the "Jr." was causing, I tried to drop it from all my official records. But that was difficult, too. Some bureaucrats have refused to change my name in their records; some have promised me they would change it, and then failed to do so; some have apparently deleted the "Jr." and then had it mysteriously reappear at a later date; some tried to delete the "Jr." and ended up deleting my whole file.

I get duplicate copies of some junk mail, one with, and one without, the "Jr."

My advice to parents is: Don't name your kid after his father. If you insist on giving a kid the same first name as his father, at least give him a different middle name. If you insist on giving him the same first and middle names, at least don't put the word "Jr." on his birth certificate. It isn't needed. The government will use your social security numbers to tell you apart. Banks will use account numbers, etc.

If you have the misfortune to already be named after your father, don't tell anyone. When you open a bank account, when you register to vote, when you apply for a driver's license, etc., never write the word "Jr." on your application. It isn't needed. The fact that you have the same name as your father is of no more importance than if you happen to have the same name as some stranger in another part of town.

I wish someone had told me this earlier.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 09:16 AM

And did I mention Kenny G,   Why????? Why????   from elevators to hospitals ... Why ?????

shoot me now Lord

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 09:04 AM

Here is an idea, pretend ya gotta an inner ear problem and just knock the shelf down ... oops .. sorry .. hey there is the soup I needed !

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Slag
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 08:34 AM

Well, Patsy, I'm just about tempted to ask you the question. But i DO know how you feel from the other direction. I get asked a lot to reach that item on the top shelf.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 05:13 AM

Sticking all the money saving bargains out of my reach in stores or supermarkets, that's size discrimination that is, is there such a thing as sizism? Even more embarrassing asking an assistant to help reach for items, makes me feel about 10.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Slag
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 02:57 AM

l'ol'ing in the "fo'c'sle"!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:49 PM

thats it I am gonna change my name now ... just to torque off the TSA agents
gonna put my apostrophe in it ... o'lddude   yup

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:31 PM

Tom
correct !

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Slag
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:30 PM

So, OD, You were the original Black-eared Pees (on a skunk)?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:21 PM

dog crap really torques me up also.. I got a huge fenced in back yard. The wiener dogs can go out and run play do their thing. I keep it very clean .. well I also had a small brown carpet outside near the back door when you come in that way. I properly named the carpet "the magical shit disappearing rug" cause that little hairy wiener dog that has an acre of fenced in land to do her business would at times, crap on it and you could absolutely not see it until you stepped on it . Boy that would get me torqued ... carpet is gone for good. Go figure

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:44 PM

Bill Sadly I didn't get that far to find out ... for some reason she didn't care for black eared country boys I guess LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:42 PM

So Dan...that blonde in college was a torque wench?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:38 PM

Those wo speak with a torqued tongue.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:26 PM

I tell ya, that skunk that nailed me last summer torqued me up pretty good.. I was gonna gun him down until Lizzie gave me the guilt trip. But if I ever see him again I am going to drop my drawers and pee on his leg and see how he likes it ... dang rodent !!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:19 PM

be quiet Sins or I will card ya !!!
:-)

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:19 PM

Thanksgiving torquey?

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:14 PM

I had this first date in college with a certified beauty queen, A blue eyed blond haired knockout. Spent a ton of time gettin all gussied up. My roommate right before I left coated the black phone with a thick layer of black shoe polish, ya know that stuff that is really greasy and ya buff off afterwords. He went to another room and called me and I answered the phone.   

Not knowing it, I went on my first date with her with a big black ear !! LOL ... hence I glued him to to toilet ...

got me kinda torqued ... she never did go out with me again ...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:07 PM

A lot of anger here. Breathe in breathe out. Savor those pollutants...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:05 PM

yea he got kinda torqued with me afterwords LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:56 PM

What really torques me is anyone who changes the spelling of their name, to make it sound the same as it did before. :)

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 07:48 PM

That was you, oldster???

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Slag
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 03:51 PM

OD! We're half way there!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 01:12 PM

Your a sadist, Dan; it's a good thing you didn't decide to use contact cement.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:55 PM

My roommate in college and i would play practical jokes all the time. Well he was like clock work, would wake up in the morning head to the shower but before hand always went to the first stall to do his business. The toilet seats were all white at that time. I went in before him and covered the toilet seat with white elmers glue ... Yup he plopped down on it ... LOL ... figured I would glue him to the seat for a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:52 PM

Amen to the fancy-junk-on-toilet-seats thing. I've had at least an occasion or so when the damn thing stayed up just long enough for me to turn on the hose, and then slammed down.

The local supermarket just "refined" the process of self-checking out groceries and paying by check. Now you have to scan stuff out, take the check to a clerk, get it processed, receive the check back, then return to the checkout line and sign on an electronic pad. If the scanner can process and accept all the rest of the information on the check, it can process and accept your signature just as easily as the electronic pad can. On the other hand, it's been noted that the elecronic pad will generally accept any scribble whatever as a signature, which makes going back to sign on it (while the next customer waits for the whole process) meaningless.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:48 PM

Teasers and blurbs suck!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 12:30 PM

Whenever a new loaf of bread is brought into the house, my wife starts eating from it immediately, ignoring the fact that there are 2 or 3 slices left of the old loaf. Once when cleaning out the refrigerator, I found five bread bags, each with 2 or 3 slices in them, all pushed to the back of the shelf where I couldn't see them, all dried out or moldy. I hate that.

When I visit someone's house, and I need to pee, and they have one of those fabric covers on the toilet seat lid, and maybe another fabric cover surrounding the tank, and they are both so bulky that when I lift the lid, it won't stay up by itself, so I have to stand there and hold the lid up with one hand while I do my business with the other hand. Now, I'm so tall, that in order to keep my hand on the lid, I have to bend over slightly, which puts me off my aim. Or else I have to move around to the side of the toilet, if there's room, and try to hold the toilet seat up with my knee, which is also awkward and puts me off my aim. Or else I risk having the lid fall down while I'm in mid-stream.

When the local TV station uses a "teaser" to get you to watch their news. At around 9pm you hear "A common food additive may have already given your kids cancer. Tune in at 10 to find out what it is." Aargh! In the same number of words, they could have told me what it is.

When the national networks announce their program times, giving only the time on the east and west coasts, as if no one lived in the central or mountain time zones.

When I pass by a newsstand, and a magazine catches my eye with an interesting blurb on the front cover. I won't buy a magazine unless I'm fairly sure the content lives up to the promise, so I pick it up and try to find the corresponding article. The blurb on the cover doesn't give the page number, so I have to find it in the table of contents first. But the table of contents isn't on page 2 or 3; it's hidden behind several pages of advertising. So I find the table of contents, and scan the titles of the articles, but nothing quite matches what is on the cover. It is like solving a word puzzle to try to figure out which article corresponds to which blurb. So I have to keep flipping back and forth from the cover to the table of contents, matching titles and figuring out by process of elimination which article must be the one that the blurb refers to. So now I know the page number, and I go in search of the article itself. But even this is hard to do because most of the pages don't have numbers! Page numbers would spoil their lovely advertising layouts! So I finally find the article, and it turns out that the topic isn't quite what I thought it would be, or else it's only half a page long, not worth the price of the magazine. That's why I almost never buy magazines off the rack.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 10:19 AM

People who see everything from way back then through rose tinted glasses and can't accept that not everything was perfect and hunky dory. I am thinking ringworm, rickets, wife beaters, inequality, slavery, child labour, the workhouse to name a few.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 09:58 AM

Quotes from Torque (2004)

"You got loud pipes, but you ain't sayin' nothing!"

"What is it about driving cars that makes you all such assholes?"

"It's amazing what you can do when you have no choice".

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 11 Nov 10 - 08:42 AM

I am suprised more people didn't run with this thread, it could be very funny with the wit people here have

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: kendall
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 08:02 PM

People who can't pronounce simple words such as:
Nuclear
Antarctica
Orangutan
Particularly

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:59 PM

and those newfangled hot air hand dryers in the mens room, what was wrong with paper towels, you stand there rubbing you hands waiting fer em to dry only to wipe em dry on your pants

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:57 PM

And how hot does a cup of coffee have to be anyway. Buy a cup when you are on the road, can't drink it for 100 miles ... burn your mouth off

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM

Ah, yes Ed...bathrooms. Single women who keep a spotless house..EXCEPT for under the rim & the toilet seat.....because they never raise it! I have been startled a few times.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:22 PM

Small Fonts on plastic credit cards or auto club cards, especially the phone numbers.

Letters rather than numbers in listed phone numbers, Like 555-fish

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:15 PM

How about going to vending machine, pay for a bag of chips ... and press the button only to watch it get stuck halfway down so you are out your money and your chips ...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 07:14 PM

Cat Litter boxes!!

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:56 PM

When you go to someones house, and the bathroom smells very bad, like someone just torqued a moonfish.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:48 PM

Bill
Priceless LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:42 PM

Thanks:)

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:37 PM

"...that get's all over the floor"

unnecessary apostrophes... ☺

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:19 PM

Just so I don't break up the mudcat God tradition on every thread
"God said he doesn't like plastic either"

Soy ... what is soy about, soy milk, soy hamburgers ... what is a soy anyway ... where's the beef, where's the cow ... soy ...

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:03 PM

Styrofoam packing, (for example, Styrofoam peanuts) that get's all over the floor when you get the item packed in it.

Subject: RE: BS: What get's you torqued???
From: olddude
Date: 10 Nov 10 - 06:00 PM

Plastic, anything plastic. I bought a candy bar ... a candy bar, I had to use sissors to open the dang thing ... why all the plastic ... everything is plastic.   I hear tell they even make womenz with plastic boobs now ... go figure