Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: BlueJay
Date: 06 Feb 11 - 01:00 AM

Glad you're improving, Spaw. Maybe you can get some rest, now that you are home! Thanks, BlueJay

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 06 Feb 11 - 12:16 AM

"But I ask you, when did you ever hear of anyone who had to learn to speak, walk, write, etc., after they had an appendectomy?"

After an appendectomy, never. After my botched colonoscopy, me. it's not easy, but keep at it. And remember, tapping on a keyboard is exercise. and should count as occupational therapy.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:37 PM

shallow running crankbait

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 11:34 PM

OMG....the shallow running crankbait is back in town! Shriveled buckeyes and all....Love ya, harpy

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Janie
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 10:00 PM

Well, I swan!


That post of your's, Mr. Patterson, is surely a sight for sore eyes.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: freda underhill
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 09:01 PM

Glad to hear you're back! - welcome home, 'Spaw..


x freda

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 08:15 PM

Spaw-

Welcome back.

It's obvious that the near-death experience has mellowed you, as reflected in your post. I was expecting red instead of green and a larger font.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Beer
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 07:30 PM

Welcome home and now to get some strength back.
ad.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 07:17 PM

Here is a lovely Dachshund singing in honor of Spaw's return.

A heartfelt rendition!

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: DougR
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 06:52 PM

Super!

DougR

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 06:50 PM

Spaw, I'm glad you're on the snowy side of the lawn, and home. Serious cyberhugs. I guess it'll be work to get back to what passes for 'normal' for you, but it should just get better from here.

You've had your tonsils out already, I hope...

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 06:26 PM

Stop getting all het up. Spaw does this every few year swhen he feels he isn't getting enough attention, the broke-dick mammalucca. He just drums himself up a near-death emergency and then he comes back and gathers in all the adulation and weepy sentiment and rolls in it like a dachshund in a new cow-pie. It's just his way of saying "Hey, muvvafuggah, wheah's da Luhuuuve????"

Glad you made it back though. Just in time to stay out of Malawi.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: gnu
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 05:45 PM

'Scuse me, cause something seems to have gotten into me eye.

Ahhh, hope that was tears.

I had em too and I am sure there were a few other tears here and there. Except for that heartless bastard... nevermind.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 05:41 PM

Hmmmmmm??? Am I the only one but is there a sniff of a Reg Boyz story in the air???

Glad yer home, Spawzer...

B~

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 05:37 PM

Spaw!!!!!!!!!!

'Scuse me, cause something seems to have gotten into me eye.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: jeffp
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 05:34 PM

Welcome home! It's a pleasure to see you post.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: gnu
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 04:40 PM

"the mopey dick" Hahahahahaa... good one Rap!

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Noreen
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 04:36 PM

Awwww.... welcome home old chap!!

Now, you just be nice to the lovely people who've been worried sick about you (well, it's worth a try...)

Great to have you back with us. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 04:20 PM

didn't forget how to do the HTML shouting in green even!


Good to know you are home and will soon be abusing us indiscriminately.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Bert
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 04:06 PM

Glad you're home mate.
(I didn't know you could write)

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 03:44 PM

Sure is a good thing I finished posting the unexpurgated, unedited manuscript of "Moby-Dick" before the mopey dick showed up again.

Subject: RE: Catspaw Home!!!!4 Feb 2011
From: GUEST,999
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 02:50 PM

YAHOO ya lazy sob. Welcome back, Spaw.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: gnu
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 02:31 PM

I hear you, Space Cadet, but I don't understand you. ???

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 12:47 PM

Well, I guess it's time to post this:

Space Oddity (by David Bowie)

Ground control to Major Tom
Ground control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
(Ten) Ground control (Nine) to major Tom (Eight)
(Seven, six) Commencing countdown (Five), engines on (Four)
(Three, two) Check ignition (One) and may God's (Blastoff) love be with you

This is ground control to Major Tom, you've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare

This is Major Tom to ground control, I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
Here am I floating 'round my tin can far above the world
Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows
Ground control to Major Tom, your circuits dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you...
Here am I sitting in my tin can far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do....

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: olddude
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 12:32 PM

Now for my last mushy post
Dearest Spaw
you needle dick numbnuts. Scaring all these good folks so you can slack off and enjoy some quiet time in that resort. Why we should kick you in the balls over and over again.

Now cut that shit out

Love always

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 08:18 AM

Aw, you just made my day! Just by breathing, being living-warm among your family, and then by causing Bill D to write what he wrote that made me spit my coffee all over my expensive cordless keyboard.

Shithead.

SO glad you're on the mend.

Dani

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: My guru always said
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 04:29 AM

Wonderful! Welcome home, both here and there!
Hil

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 02:40 AM

hooray!

our very own spaw is back - not a pale impersonation

sandra

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Bugsy
Date: 05 Feb 11 - 01:10 AM

Good to see you back mate

CHeers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Tinker
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 10:39 PM

Hadn't made it to the 'cat today ... what a joyful way to end the night.
Sleep tight.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Dharmabum
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 08:15 PM

Welcome home Pat.

    DB.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 08:09 PM

I was gonna send you a PM Pat, but, then, I thought, why not express my feelings and thoughts of my fondness for you in public? After all, we have been friends for years and both of us have many friends here at The Café who share my feelings and thoughts regarding your unfortunate health complications.

You scared me shitless you lame dick mofo. Don't ever do that again. What were you thinking? How could anyone with bowels like yours expect that your appendix wasn't gonna explode at some point? You shoulda had it removed years ago before it became the toxic dump that it did. I just hope they buried it deep in a mine and encased it in lead first so that it doesn't affect future generations.

Again, sorry for being so sentimental. It's just because I care.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 07:56 PM

Great Timing,Peaches!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 07:47 PM

Hi Spaw - glad to see you are home and it is So good to see that your posting abilities have not diminished.

Now, take it easy or we'll get Karen to superglue your walker to the floor.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: kendall
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 07:46 PM

Welcome back. Insults to follow.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Neil D
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 07:25 PM

Spaw!! So excellent to see you back home and back here on Mudcat. You have been missed by everyone. Just take your time and regain your strength. Relax and let those that want to take care of you do so. Karen and the boys must be thrilled! We are very happy for all of you, and very relieved :)

                              Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: bobad
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 07:12 PM

Well Spaw, guess you'll have to scratch Malawi off of your potential vacation destination spots:


Malawi row over whether new law bans farting

Two of Malawi's most senior judicial officials are arguing over whether a new bill includes a provision that outlaws breaking wind in public.

Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote "public decency".

"Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting," he told local radio.

However, he was directly contradicted by Solicitor General Anthony Kamanga, who says the reference to "fouling the air" means pollution.

"How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalising farting in public is beyond me," he said, adding that the prohibition contained in the new law has been in place since 1929.

The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting.

"Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio.

He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders.

When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: bbc
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 07:06 PM

Well, Pat, I am *thrilled* to see you back; welcome home!!! Relax, take it slow, & heal, my friend. While you're resting, read all the messages from those you've loved you through your various catastrophies. Then, try to stop doing this to yourself, your family, & us!

love & hugs,

Beebs

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: olddude
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 06:20 PM

Spaw, Priceless it is Priceless

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: chazkratz
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 06:20 PM

Pat, hot damn it's good to see you back. After my golden shower post I felt it just as well that I no longer submit stupid get well wishes, knowing that even my half-watt half-assed psychic powers were pure dreck and unable to think of a damned thing funny to say I came back from time to time hoping for good news...and now at last there is some, for the hospital, at least--they finally got your stinky ass out and away and probably the cure rate there has shot up exponentially, not to mention the economic relief for the place, not having to supply the docs and nurses and orderlies with boxes of matches for self defense.

Anyway, seriously, you scared the shit out of me and I am ecstatic to see you alive and well and posting.

Charles

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 06:16 PM

Oh, deary me. Our shy little flower from the prairies of Ohio has returned home! How nice! I hope the dear lad makes quick improvement!

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: KT
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 05:42 PM

RE: post at    04 Feb 11 - 04:21 PM ~

Now there is a sight for sore eyes!! Welcome back, Spaw! That was some kind of appendectomy! To say you were missed is an understatement.   It's so good to have you back!

KT

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 05:26 PM

Good one, Bill D!

After all that recuperation, it's good to see that his pages aren't sticking together.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: mouldy
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 05:18 PM

And it may not have been directly aimed at me, but there was just a wee smidgeon of cussin' in there....I feel blessed!

Welcome home, my friend.

Andrea xxx

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Dave Swan
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 04:54 PM

Damn boy, it's good to see you. Glad you feel better. Now get back to fighting weight so we can get on with the abuse. Welcome back. E.S.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 04:51 PM

sniff... that was beautiful.

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 04:38 PM

"...when did you ever hear of anyone who had to learn to speak, walk, write, etc., after they had an appendectomy?"

Just imagine if, instead of the appendix, they had to remove the index and table of contents! ☺

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: maeve
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 04:34 PM

Welcome home, Pat.
Maeve

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: maire-aine
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 04:31 PM

Welcome home! Take it easy as you read the threads-- some of it ain't pretty! Hope you're back 100% real soon.

Maryanne

Subject: RE: Catspaw - Maybe Home by Week's End 1 Feb 2011
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Feb 11 - 04:24 PM

Awww.... it's hisself! welcome back...and don't strain yer eyes.