lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: EllenV
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 08:48 PM

@Taconius: fully awesome.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Taconicus
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 08:35 PM

Sae rantinly, sae wantonly,
And sae dauntonly gaed he.
He played a tune and he danced aroon'
Then went off for some crumpets and tea.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: EllenV
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 08:14 PM

@Grishka: now that IS an improvement.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 01:34 PM

Speaking of Waltzing M.:

Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong,
"You didn't guess I can swim," cried he
And he sang as he balanced his swag across the billabong,
"You'll ne'er come waltzing matilda with me."

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bernard
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 12:09 PM

There's the oft mis-sung line from Hughie Jones' 'Ellan Vanin Tragedy'...

At one a.m. in Ramsey Bay
Captain Tear was heard to say
Our contract says 'Deliver the mail'
In this rough weather we must not sail (fail)

The song would never have been written but for that one letter!

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,EllenV
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 11:54 AM

... and the poor fellow from The Band Played Waltzing Matilda danced down the gangplank when he got home.

Actually, no. That would totally ruin it.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Cool Beans
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 11:46 AM

When I was a boy and Old Shep was a pup
Over hills and valleys we'd roam,
Just a boy and his dog, we were both full of fun.
He's now 20 and with me at home.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,interloper
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 09:24 AM

Ye highlands and ye lowlands
O where ha' ye been?
To tea wi' Lady Moray
An we laid her on the green!

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 08:46 AM

One evening fair I took the air
Down by blackwaterside
'twas gazing all around me
When the irish lad I spied

All through the first part of that night
We did lie in sport and play,
When this young man arose and put on his clothes
Saying, "I'll back in an hour with some Viagra".

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 08:39 AM

Jack Orion was a crap fiddler
So they put the telly on instead.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan whittle
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 08:31 AM

Jessie James was a lad, who had a ladies name
He never did anyone no harm
Even his straight friends were forced to admit
Young Jessie had a certain charm.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 08:28 AM

At the age of fourteen, he was a married man
At the age of fifteen, the father of a son
At the age of sixteen, he inherited his estate
And was rich as he continued his growing

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 07:24 AM

A holiday, a holiday,
And the first one of the year
Little Matty Groves took a coach to Blackpool
To ride the Big Dipper there

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bernard
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 07:14 AM

A holiday, a holiday,
And the first one of the year
Little Matty Groves stayed in bed...

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Darowyn
Date: 14 Jan 11 - 04:12 AM

"Slack your rope, hangman, slack it for a while"
"Ok, off you go then!"

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 06:38 PM

Frankie fired the pistol
Johnny just cried 'Gee thanks!
Thank God when I loaded that 44,
I only loaded with blanks!'

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 06:15 PM

She left her father's castle gate,
She left her own true lover,
She left her servants and estate
To follow the gypsy rover.

Her father said "I'm glad she's gone;
I don't have to support her;
So I'll drink a health to the gypsy lad
With a pint of the finest porter."

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Richard Mellish
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 05:59 PM

In the real world there are some happy endings, some miserable ones, some surprises, etc. Quite properly all of those are reflected in folk songs.

One who would agree with Bernard's
> I've always thought the happy endings on most 'broken token' songs were a bit far fetched...!

is Jim Morrison, who has written an excellent alternative ending to Jinnie on the Moor in which she tells the bloke where to go.

Richard

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 05:18 PM

There's seven gipsies all in a row
A-waiting to be hung,
When Lady Castles cries 'Hold the rope,
The fat lady hasn't sung!'

Then came a little page boy
With a pardon from the king,
Lady Castles then declared,
'And now I get to sing!'

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 05:04 PM

The wife of Usher's Well she wept
An ocean full of tears
When the youngest son said 'Cheer up, Mum,
We're off for a few beers.'

And ye bonny lass, cheer up as well
As ye sit by the fire,
Give it a poke, twas all a joke,
We did it for to try yer!'

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: irishenglish
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 04:53 PM

9,999 Miles, it is a long way
9,999 Miles, no more
And the rocks may break
And the seas may snow
If I go... just one more mile

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 12:39 PM

The King sat in Dunfermline Town
Drinking his blude red wine
He said, I had this idea about a sailing trip
But lets leave it for another time.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 08:03 AM

"Why weep ye by the tide Lady
Why weep ye by the tide?"
"I was only chopping onions sir
Till ye came here to bide
But I will happily marry you
sae comely to be seen
It's a better choice than a council flat
wi Jock o' Hazeldene"

and

Me hat is frozen to me head
Me feet are like two lumps of lead
Me shoes are frozen to me feet...
So I'm off home for a hot bath

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan whittle
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 12:39 PM

By the light of the moon, her mammy arose
By the hair of her head she caught her
And with a bunch of hazel twigs
we all got it on, for an S and m gig

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Sailor Ron
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 11:42 AM

What about "NOT putting the clock a quarter afor"
and
" If a young maiden would set me free
       O though her love it be easily won
I'd make her my bride in my ain country
       Though she be the Flower of Northumberland
What! Go with you to Scotland, you must be joking! "
and
" I went into aPublic House to get a pint o'beer
   The Publican he up'd and said "Tommy you're welcome here"

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Yakherd
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 11:19 AM

Alternative ending to The Blacksmith:

"This restraining order's clear, but I may test it
And if I were with my love, I would be arrested."

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: olddude
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 09:28 AM

LOL these are priceless keep em coming

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Taconicus
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 09:25 AM

Oh bother, must I recite every obvious detail? Obviously, I prepared a lovely picnic tableau with place settings, wine glasses, cold chicken and potato salad, etc. while she was sleeping, and then woke her up for the picnic. Surely you can see that if I recited all that in the song I'd have another Tay Bridge Disaster.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 08:36 AM

"As I was a-walking along Radcliffe Highway....I didn't meet a soul all the way."

"As I was about to walk out one May morning - I heard the weather forecast and stayed at home."

Well, that's about 90% of folk songs accounted for.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 08:33 AM

no you had a nice picnic you selfish person, your love slept through it all.however when your love awoke...
my love she awoke from her beauty sleep
and found the wine was gone.
she drew out her little penknife
and stabbed me in the bum

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Taconicus
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 08:15 AM

Down in the willow garden
My love and I did meet.
As we sat there a-courting
My love she fell asleep.

I had a bottle of burgaloo wine
My love she did not know.
And so we had a nice picnic
Down on the bank below.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 08:13 AM

"much as Stonehenge would become something else if we remade that"
Agreed ,,like lots of things its a shame the Victorians got to it first..

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 07:55 AM

the 97 chugs into the station ...ha ha..reminds me of steve davis or worse still terry griffiths that would be really interesting ..for train spotters, but a boring story.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 07:32 AM

I love that - the old '97 chugs safely into the station after all these years!

Well done Bill for bringing her home safe!

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:43 PM

Thats lovely Clontarf83!

I dunno, forget about moral tales for the young Mark Clark.

Give the people in folksongs a bit of a break. Think of pretty polly......poor lass! named after a bleeding parrot, what sort of a start in life is that. attracted to an inbred who spends half the night digging a grave for her.

lets see if we can fix her up with a nice young man who will respect her and build up a tights empire in her honour.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Clontarf83
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:21 PM

a rewrite of will the circle be unbroken--rewritten as a wedding song:

We have gathered, here together, on this bright and happy day
For our love of, one another
Is a love that's come to stay.

We are standing, here before you, to give witness to our hearts
We will care for, one another
Until death we will not part

As we walk through, life together, we will always be as one
With our love for one another
We will face each rising sun


Chorus
Yes this circle, will be unbroken
By and by lord by and by
For our hearts have surely spoken
To the sky lord to the sky

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:20 PM

...so the child in "The False Knight on the Road" should have given some flip answers to the questions? ;>)

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Mark Clark
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:05 PM

If folksongs were nice happy songs about happy things like the ones they gave us in grammar school, I'd never have become interested in them at all. No suspense, no insight into the human condition, nothing to see here (move along).

Imagine singing a song to your daughter saying that she shouldn't go out in the woods alone with young men because it isn't considered the "nice” thing to do. Much more fun and effective to sing Pretty Polly or Omie Wise. Those will get her attention and she'll remember the song and the story and maybe even the lesson.

What would I Know Where I'm Goin' be like if Johnny was a nice boy whom everyone's parents wanted for their daughters?

      - Mark

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:45 PM

'Twas gettin' dark, the team got bogged,
The axle snapped in two
I lost me matches and me pipe,
Now what was I to do?
The rains come down, 'twas bitter cold,
And hungry too was I
And the dog shat in the tuckerbox
Nine miles from Gundagai ..
again the dog had been suffering from constipation for over a week, had tried senna pods, figs and had also eaten six cans of prunes, so he was very happy when he eventually shifted his load and christened the TUCKER BOX, SO from the dogs point of view it was a very very happy ending, and all due to drinking Watneys Red

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:33 PM

you might not think that has a happy ending, but it is if you look at it from from a rabbit's perspective.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:31 PM

horus:
Shut the door their coming through the window,
Shut the window their coming through the door,
Shut the door their coming through the window,
Oh the room is full and won't hold anymore.

I went in for rabbits and I kept them in a hutch.
I only bought two rabbits, it didn't seem like much.
Next morning when I looked at them how they had multiplied.
A thousand rabbits jumped right out and all the neighbors cried:

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:28 PM

Lord Randal's "true love," for reasons unknown, does a Lucretia Borgia number on her young suitor and the result is one of the classic ballads.

Back in about nineteen-ought-fifty-seven, a friend of mine and I took a class together at the University of Washington English Department, "The Popular Ballad," taught by Dr. David C. Fowler. The term paper was a doozy. Research a ballad and get together as many versions as you can find. My friend chose "Lord Randal." He turned up either full texts or references to over 1,013 different versions of the ballad!

He found one American version which had been rewritten as a propaganda song for the dairy industry. Little Jimmie Randall had been inadvertently poisoned when his girlfriend fed him oleomargarine instead of real butter!

But the real lulu was—believe it or not—"Billie Boy." He goes to visit his girl friend and she doesn't poison him, she feeds him cherry pie. Which she had baked herself, "quick as a cat can wink its eye." The sad part is that "she's a young thing and cannot leave her mother." Yup. It's a variant of "Lord Randal."

Or the ballad "The Three Ravens." How about eliminating the dead knight, the hounds, the hawks, the fallow doe and all that stuff and have the three ravens all fly down to the local Burger King?

Barbara Allen goes to see Sweet William, who is pining away for her to the point that the poor sod is dying. Instead of turning up her nose and walking out, how about she rips off her clothes, jumps into bed with him, and humps him to death? He dies anyway, but when they bury him by the old church tower, he has a smile on his face.

Yeah, great idea! Let's give them all a happy ending!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:48 PM

Now we're off to India for seven long year
Tantric sex in an ashram, you'll like that my dear.
And if we ever return again, it'll be in the spring
In our meaningful relationship, you know - that sort of thing....

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:46 PM

♫They gave him his orders down at Monroe, Virginia,
Sayin' Steve, you're way behind time,
But take it real easy over White Oak Mountain,
They can wait for their mail this time.♫

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:26 PM

Deadly serious!

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: olddude
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:10 PM

Good idea

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Noreen
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:06 PM

Nice ideas folks, keep 'em coming! :)

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Tootler
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 04:44 PM

For Sovay

When he did perceive his love's intent
He took off the ring and cast it at her feet
Saying, "If that's how you trust me my sweet,
Here's your ring which you may keep."
So saying, he turned and walked away.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Joybell
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 03:51 PM

So the king has written a broad letter
And signed it with his hand
And he's sent it to Sir Patrick Spens
A walking all on the strand
And the very first line Sir Patrick read
A loud, loud laugh gave he
"Silliest plan I ever saw"
And he chucked it into the sea.

Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Joybell
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 03:40 PM

...Some took off their coats and some took off their caps
Just a-trying to fill in all those salty-water gaps ...

And amazingly it worked. Stopped the water a treat. They hauled the little cabin boy out before he drowned and made friends with the enemy.
Cheers, Joy