BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011

Subject: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 14 May 11 - 11:05 AM

According to this website we can expect the Rapture next Saturday the 21st. I'm sorry but I don't know what time of day.

Get busy......



We can know.com

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 May 11 - 11:21 AM

Good-bye fare-ye-well, good-bye, fare-ye-well!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Manitas_at_home
Date: 14 May 11 - 11:37 AM

I bet Samoa wish they hadn't changed their calendar now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bill D
Date: 14 May 11 - 12:56 PM

Well, I get in one more birthday anyway....

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 May 11 - 01:22 PM

That will leave lots of musical instruments laying around. This could end up being a windfall for musicians who don`t get raptured away or whatever it`s called.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Jeri
Date: 14 May 11 - 01:29 PM

I'm pretty sure they can do surgery to fix a rapture, and stick everything back in where it belongs. In the meantime, try to only play light-weight instruments.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Smokey.
Date: 14 May 11 - 01:37 PM

a windfall for musicians who don`t get raptured away or whatever it`s called.

Uh... stoned?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bobert
Date: 14 May 11 - 02:30 PM

Not to worry, folks...

Word on the street is that all the heathens and folk singers will be left behind...

Reckon that we're all safe...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 11 - 02:37 PM

What? I gotta a lot a shit to do!

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 May 11 - 02:58 PM

Jeri-

"I'm pretty sure they can do surgery to fix a rapture, and stick everything back in where it belongs."

Only for the blessed!

ommmmmmmmmm!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 14 May 11 - 03:52 PM

Earlier today I posted this comment on a Facebook Friends' status update about the same subject:

Hmm, what is the politically correct thing for me to say to a Rapturian on May 22? "I'm so sorry you were mistaken," "Oops, try again," "What went wrong?" or something else?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: kendall
Date: 14 May 11 - 04:01 PM

I wonder why this rapture thing is not mentioned in the Bible.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Greg F.
Date: 14 May 11 - 04:23 PM

Possibly because it was invented out of whole cloth by a couple of lunatics in the second quarter of the 19th Century?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bobert
Date: 14 May 11 - 04:26 PM

Actually, the Book of Revelations is supposed to be all about this except one has to have the ability to interpret it...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Arkie
Date: 14 May 11 - 04:30 PM

Here is a link to an article on the rationale for May 21 as the day of judgement. How the time of 6 p.m. was determined did not register with me.

The Rapture

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 11 - 04:39 PM

6PM... ESDT? Eastern Deity Savings Time?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 14 May 11 - 04:41 PM

Well at least it will be late in the day and we'll have a little more time to prepare.

Hey - is that 6:00 PM GMT or EST??

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: josepp
Date: 14 May 11 - 04:55 PM

Rapture is contained in 1 Thessalonians not Revelation.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,TomC
Date: 14 May 11 - 05:06 PM

It's supposed to be a rolling rapture with the event occurring at 6 PM local time in each time zone.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 14 May 11 - 05:12 PM

I love the final words of the article, after a completely incomprehensible mathematical pig's knitting: "Could anything be clearer?" Er.. yes.. mud perhaps? Madder than Mick McMadd!

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 11 - 05:29 PM

TomC... "It's supposed to be a rolling rapture..."

HAHAHAHAAAAA!

I just got the front lawns mowed. Back lawns are still too wet from the melted snow and near constant rain. Oh Canada... where you put away the snow shovels just days ago and now mow the lawn with a touque on and see your breath.

So much to do and so little time left. I was gonna buy some bedding plants today on sale but I can't plant them as we can get frost way past the rapture. Although, I DO like a bargain.

Be a SOB of a time to win the Lotto Max next Friday night... $36M... and you can't even collect until Monday so Saturday would be a whole day of "well fuck me!" Up until 6 of course.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 14 May 11 - 05:35 PM

There now, gnu, you've got me thinking. How would I spend 36million dollars in 24 hours? Suggestions anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 14 May 11 - 05:44 PM

Y'all are assuming that you will be called. You might want to read up on the "Left Behind" series....

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: DMcG
Date: 14 May 11 - 06:04 PM

AFC Wimbledon are playing Luton Town on that day and the winner will be promoted to the main football leagues. AFC started as a rebellion of the fans against the management who decided to move the club to the opposite side of London because they would make more profit. That was 10 years and AFC Wimbledon have fought long and hard to get to this critical point.

If they win, I predict they will be rapturous.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 14 May 11 - 06:24 PM

""It's supposed to be a rolling rapture with the event occurring at 6 PM local time in each time zone.""

Anybody know where I can hire an eleven hundred miles per hour plane?

I gots to make a little trip round the World about 5.30pm next Saturday.

Don T

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Don Firth
Date: 14 May 11 - 07:58 PM

In response to the bumper sticker that says "When the Rapture comes, this car will be driverless."

"When the Rapture comes, can I have your car?"

I wonder how all these folks are going to feel when May 22nd dawns bright and clear and they find that they are still here!

"But . . . !   But . . . ???"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: frogprince
Date: 14 May 11 - 09:14 PM

"Hmm, what is the politically correct thing for me to say to a Rapturian on May 22? "I'm so sorry you were mistaken," "Oops, try again," "What went wrong?" or something else?"

How about, "Oh; you're still here; did you know that all the Scientologists have disappeared?"

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Deckman
Date: 14 May 11 - 09:31 PM

HEY ... don't mock the rapture. Why, I've experienced it several times now. The first was with a girl of 15 named "Margie." Then there was .... oh ... never mind! bob(deckman)nelson ((AKA bad bad bob))

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Wesley S
Date: 14 May 11 - 09:57 PM

"Hmm, what is the politically correct thing for me to say to a Rapturian on May 22? "

How about - "Hey - where did all the Muslims go?"

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 11 - 10:11 PM

"Did you know Salt Lake City and Vatican City disappeared?"

"Well, come on have a drink and then we'll go see some women I know...."

"Can I lend you a roll of toilet paper, 'cuz you're gonna shit that you ain't gone."

Or, at noon on Saturday, ask them if you can have their bicycle, baseball bat, and money (in cash).

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: EBarnacle
Date: 14 May 11 - 10:52 PM

Damn, I'm gonna miss my 65th birthday. If this happens, we'll never know and there will be a lot of people in Hell saying, "Gee, if only someone had told me that Heaven and Hell really did exist!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 May 11 - 11:05 PM

If I were Jehovah, it would really piss me off that a bunch of yahoos would presume to know My will. What could possibly be more prideful and egotistical? Wouldn't it be ironic if the "Rapture" turned out to be God zapping all the Rapturists off to Hell for committing the sin of pride while leaving the rest of us to continue muddling through as best we can?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: J-boy
Date: 14 May 11 - 11:22 PM

It's funny but also scary as hell that well into the 21st century there are still millions who believe in this shit and in equally worthless shit just like it. This kind of dark ages mind-set when combined with modern science has and will continue to cause many horrors. But we knew that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 May 11 - 12:06 AM

This is good. I was afraid I was going to miss it, but chances are pretty good that I'll still be here on May 21st. ;-)

Someone told me way back in the late 50s or early 60s that it was going to happen that summer on a specific date, but they turned out to be wrong. It was the 12-year-old girl next door, and she'd heard it on the radio or something. I said, "Well, if you're not going to be here after it happens, why not just give me all your toys now?" She wouldn't. I knew right then that her faith was not really as strong as she made it out to be. She was hedging her bets. If there had really been a rapture, she could've got left behind for doing that!

Anyway, it either didn't happen...or they decided not to take anyone, because no one here qualified. ;-) It was a non-event.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 May 11 - 02:27 AM

Don(Wyziwyg)T,

"Anybody know where I can hire an eleven hundred miles per hour plane?
I gots to make a little trip round the World about 5.30pm next Saturday."

Couldn't you just walk from one side of the International Date Line to the other? Don't ask me in which direction you should walk, though!

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bobert
Date: 15 May 11 - 07:27 AM

Is it here yet???

I mean, I'm debating whether or not to fill my gas tank or just put in 10 gallons... I'd hate to waste the money if I'm gonna be dead later today...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: jacqui.c
Date: 15 May 11 - 07:58 AM

Next weekend Bobert, next weekend.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: kendall
Date: 15 May 11 - 08:23 AM

The nut cases never quit, do they?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: saulgoldie
Date: 15 May 11 - 09:03 AM

From Eliza: "There now, gnu, you've got me thinking. How would I spend 36million dollars in 24 hours? Suggestions anyone?"


Eliza,
I'd like to buy the world some coke...

Saul

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 May 11 - 10:33 AM

Thanks to Peter and Lou Berryman for their moments of insanity:

Why am I painting the living room,
Why am I painting the living room,
Why am I painting the living room,
Why am I painting the living room?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Greg F.
Date: 15 May 11 - 12:16 PM

I wonder how all these folks are going to feel when May 22nd dawns bright and clear and they find that they are still here!

Won't bother the nutcases one iota.

But even William Miller eventually saw the light (as it were) and called off the shenanigans.

http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/entry.php?rec=607

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Arkie
Date: 15 May 11 - 01:30 PM

Blame it on a misplaced comma in the mathematical equation.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 11 - 06:12 PM

Blame it on people looking for something that isn't there.

It's right there in Matthew: "Ain't nobody 'cept Big Daddy knows the day or the hour and he ain't telling. So stop botherin' me about it, hear, cuz he ain't told me neither."

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 11 - 06:24 PM

I don't care for Rap.

Ceptin that there fellah from yer Idaho course.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 May 11 - 06:51 PM

I was working in North Carolina/Georgia when the Truelight Church of Christ folks got themselves all ready for the rapture. The congregation gave away all their belongings, homes, land, then went to a hilltop on "the day" to await the arrival of their salvation. Later they found themselves still here and fucked over by their own selves...................


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Greg F.
Date: 15 May 11 - 06:55 PM

Or at least fucked over by their own delusion & stupidity.......

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Jeri
Date: 15 May 11 - 07:13 PM

Maybe they'll give us their stuff?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 11 - 07:33 PM

Dibs on the unused toilet paper!

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 May 11 - 07:53 PM

Jeri-

Judy and I don't have room for their "stuff" and I'm thinking that you don't either but I love the concept.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: The Rapture: Saturday May 21st 2011
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 11 - 07:55 PM

Bubba and Jim Bob have decided they're not gonna leave anything for all those left-behind Liberal Socialist Democrats to get hold of after they get raptured up to Heaven. So, they're gonna spend the next six days drinkin' up their beer cache, smokin' up their weed stash, and shootin' up all that ammo they bought before Obama got a chance to ban gun ownership.