BS: What would you do if....

Subject: BS: What would you do if....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 12:51 PM

...you were marooned on a desert island for years with Woody Allen? Nobody else around. Just you and Woody Allen. And some palm trees and minor flora and fauna.

Hmmm? What would you do?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Smokey.
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 01:42 PM

Eat him.

Legs first, so he could still do the comedy stuff for a bit longer.

Not that I've actually got anything against him, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,Chongo The Chimp
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 01:55 PM

I'd rather be marooned with you Little Hawk. Then you n me n Penolope n Blind Drunk could play bridge.

Not that that says anything about your mental state.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Will Fly
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:08 PM

Screw him.


Well... any port in a storm...

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:15 PM

Blunt trauma comes to mind. Any cliffs on the island?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:33 PM

Well, he's 76 years old now. I'd probably be seeing to his corns and helping him to the toilet. (Assuming there was a loo on the island)

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: olddude
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:57 PM

shoot myself in the face

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:05 PM

LOL!!!! Good start, folks! I await further comments.

Guest who is posing as Chongo - You are a repellant, chuckle-headed, yeasty, maleficent and contemptible houndsbait. I wish you a lovely afternoon.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:08 PM

sheesh If this were a serious question I'd like it better. Why Woody Allen? Why not Hefner? Trump? Rupert? Shatner?

And why a man? Or was this addressed only to male Mudcatters?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:09 PM

Now you all know why I have sworn off transoceanic flights when Woody Allen is aboard.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:14 PM

Little Hawk, you've gone all Shakespearian!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:32 PM

Ebbie... "Or was this addressed only to male Mudcatters?"

I take a front to that. I am sure there are just as many female 'Catters who find him annoying.

I think his writing is amazing but if he came to my side of the island and wanted to engage in conversation there would be bloodshed.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:35 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah, I can just see that in my mind's eye, gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 04:35 PM

Woody: "Yeah so, don't you just hate it when you are stanging in a movie line and some "expert" starts spouting off about what Marshall MacClueless would say?
Gnu" "Shut the fuck up or I'll stuff this coconut down your throat."
Woody: "But I have Marshall MacClueless right here."
Marshall MacClueless: "Shut the fuck up Woody!"
Woody: "MMMFFPPGHGH"
Gnu: "I told you. Didn't I?"

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 04:59 PM

But, Jts, in an "island village", Marshy, or Boggy, as I call him, wouldn't exist given LH's scenario. However, he would be far more welcome in conversation than yer Woody.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:10 PM

I would fight for the pencil.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:13 PM

How do you know he would be there for years?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:20 PM

Ahhhh... in case anyone is wondering about the Marshall clues being dropped, there ya go eh.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:20 PM

>>But, Jts, in an "island village", Marshy, or Boggy, as I call him, wouldn't exist given LH's scenario.<<

But Woody would pull him out of his ass, as he did in "Annie Hall."

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:02 PM

This scene is what was referred to.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:03 PM

I shant get into such a discussion of the relative merits or abilities of either of these authors in a knock down. Each has same in variation and obviously I am far less qualified than either or you to judge them or your comments in any way.

Say... that was pretty good as far as fence sitting goes. I am learning eh?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:05 PM

As far as fence siting goes. It is a good idea to avoid the pickets.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:10 PM

I wasn't mocking Marshies writing. Just Woody's use of him. Skip to the end of the clip if you find it too long. 25 years later, I want to throttle the Woody Allen I used to enjoy.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:20 PM

Oh... I missed the post of the clip. My bad.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:21 PM

Actually I didn't... just cross posted.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:23 PM

Eating him is the best suggestion yet, as long as it's cannibalism you're proposing and not fellatio.







(Shudder.)

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:27 PM

Aha... I had forgotten all about it JtS... thanks.

Now, if Woody could do that in conversation, I might buy him a beer... on HIS side of the island.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:42 PM

An exile to Woodyville would be more tolerable if there were plenty of beer.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Smokey.
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 07:36 PM

Eating him is the best suggestion yet, as long as it's cannibalism you're proposing and not fellatio.

I was strictly referring to his food value. He'd have to be dead for anything sexual to occur - I was brought up to adhere to strict standards of decency and I wouldn't want to give him the idea I was some kind of pervert.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 08:03 PM

Ohhhhh dear. Baaaad.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 09:11 PM

I suppose I would try to be polite.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 09:29 PM

Write down as of what he says that I could. Hoping it may be useful some day.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Smokey.
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:01 PM

Gnu, I don't know what moral standards you chaps out there in the Colonies have, but in Blighty it's considered terribly bad form to shag a chap after you've eaten his legs - it's just not cricket. Awfully bad manners.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:09 PM

Ummmmm... Just got off the phone with woody and he's busy... No time fir desert isalnds... How about getting stuck on the island with Julie Kendall??? Or Morgan Fairchild???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:22 PM

My wife....Morgan Fairchild
Who I had sex with!!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Smokey.
Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:23 PM

Try pretending to be charming, then eat 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 12:59 AM

I still love that old scene with Woody Allen in the theatre line. But I can also relate to the idea of throttling him.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 01:05 AM

Here are my favorite Woody Allen scenes:

Mayhem in Manhattan

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 01:52 PM

By the way, where did some of you get the idea I was directing the question at the beginning of this thread only to other men?

I was directing it at the women here too. What would you women do if stuck on the island with Woody Allen. Think about it. He'd probably start getting ideas after awhile....

And to make it more fun, let's say that it was the Woody Allen of about 30 or more years ago...not the geriatric old Woody Allen we have now. The Woody Allen of the mid-70's! Complete with all his lust, angst, and unsatisfied needs and desires! Yessiree. ;-) Just think about it.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:30 PM

If Woody had his clarinet and I had a guitar, we'd play old swing tunes until we were rescued.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,livelylass
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:45 PM

I would make Woody my personal slave. As he's pretty old and decrepit now, I could probably physically dominate him fairly easily, the rest would follow from there. He would have to construct and then wear (in my presence at least, couldn't be bothered with all the blather) some form of ball gag and then do all the basic desert island style housekeeping stuff necessary to keep me safe and fed.

Ideally that Kadyshan bird would be there with us also, then I could attach Woody to us both, with her as titty-raft cum blow-up buoyancy sex-doll aid, and with Woody doggy paddling, my return from the Island of desolation and despair would be twice as swift as with the lovely Kadishany sex-doll buoyancy aid alone.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:51 PM

Wow LL you have it figured out!

I like the slave idea. I imagine an unripe mango would serve as a ball gag. Wasn't "the Ball Gag" one of Woody's old routines? (jest kidding)

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,livelylass
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:55 PM

"with her as titty-raft cum blow-up buoyancy sex-doll aid, and with Woody doggy paddling,"

Mmm, well just so long as Woody's doggy style efforts get me safely to shore (and just so long as Kandyshan doesn't puncture) feel free to add your own innuendos as you see fit..

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,livelylass
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:59 PM

JtS RE: the ball gag, wasn't that in Sleeper? Can you recall, it's a vague memory there for me - Probably prompted the image there.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 04:22 PM

If the Calypso showed up, Phillipe and I could use the shark tank to observe the dealy man eaters avoiding Woody... if the tide washed him off of the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: olddude
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 05:39 PM

use him for bait when I would go fishing

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 05:48 PM

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,livelylass - PM
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:59 PM

JtS RE: the ball gag, wasn't that in Sleeper? Can you recall, it's a vague memory there for me - Probably prompted the image there.


So it appears.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: olddude
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:01 PM

Throw him in the ocean to see if shit really does float or
sell him to the local chief's 13 year old daughter

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: GUEST,livelylass
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:04 PM

Oh, it *was* That gag.

Unfortunately for the Woody on *My* Island he'll have to make do with a non-sentient blow-up doll called Kandyhandyshandy and a very fucked off sentient English bird who's not interested in that kind of geriatric 'nursing'.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if....
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:07 PM

Oh my! OH MY!

Dan! I am shocked!

Dan??? Did Woody try to force feed you Jell-o once upon a time?