BS: Humor in grand children

Subject: BS: Humor in grand children
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 08:34 AM

My beautiful, talented, witty, very articulate grand daughter is afraid of our wild Turkeys. She said:

"They are 5 feet tall, ugly and they don't have any eyebrows. I don't trust anything that doesn't have eyebrows because you can't tell what they are thinking."

She makes me laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: ranger1
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 11:05 AM

LOL! You know, she might be on to something there...

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 04:59 PM

Damn straight. I would never trust a turkey, even if they had eyebrows. Nasty rig a turkey!

How old is the lass, K?

BTW, I was bitten by Wild Turkey one night. I was feathered fit to soar. Crash landed the next morn.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: michaelr
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 05:16 PM

I told my grandson last summer that he needed to learn to swim.

He replied: "I know how to swim - I just haven't accomplished it yet."

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 05:32 PM

Hahahahaa! Cute as a button!

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 05:41 PM

Minds me a how I learned to swim. It was a hot summer day. I was about 6 years old. We were at the wharf near Me Mere's cottage. My bro, 13 years older, decided he would teach me how to swim. Yup. He did. Salt water can make ya puke eh?

Hey, it was at least 12 feet to the water. I remember looking at all the bubbles aND FIGHTING MY WAY BACK TO THE SURFACE AND THEN TO THEN TO (grrr) a ladder and then to my bro. A 6 year old can kick shins pretty good, even with bare feet.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 25 Dec 11 - 11:04 PM

I like her thinking, but Ben Franklin might have disagreed.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 06:02 AM

My grand daughter at dinner: "I love pig butt, it is so delicious. Who thought of eating pig butt? I love them. That person is the smartest person ever. Mmmmmm. Yummy yummy pig butt!"

Grand daughter #1: "if we put my apple into your coffee grinder, we could make hot apple cider!"
Daughter: "what a neat idea, but please do not use my coffee grinder."
GD #1: "oh. Okay."
She runs off, I hear her tell GD #2 "mom says we can't use her grinder."
GD #2: "awww...why'd you tell her? It was supposed to be a surprise!"

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: jacqui.c
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 06:34 AM

Grandson - are you doing Sudoko again?
Me - yes, it helps keep my brain active
Grandson - it's not working very well, is it?

Followed by swift move out of arm's reach and a mad cackling.

Good thing he walks on water...........

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: kendall
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 08:48 AM

Gnu, she's 25, an outstanding poet and writer.

I remember when I was about 8 my older brother taught me to swim. We were in a skiff and he threw me overboard. Swimming ashore wasn't too bad but getting out of that sack was a bitch.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: Bobert
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 09:56 AM

The DNA doesn't fall too far from the tree...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: kendall
Date: 26 Dec 11 - 10:53 AM

Thanks, Mate.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 11:49 PM

When my son was in nursery school I would pick him up after work and use the drive time to teach him things he should know. One day I realized that some children in my class (third grade at that time, I think) did not know their addresses, and I wanted to know if my son knew his. I asked him what street he lived on and what was the number of our house. He answered correctly. Town? Also correct. State? Correct again. Country? He didn't know. I told him, "United States of America." He said, "Oh, United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God with liberty and justice for all." (For those of you outside the US, that's how the Pledge of Allegiance to our flag ends.)

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: Arnie
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 06:53 AM

5 yr old grandson in kitchen on Christmas Eve:

GS - Nana, have you got any nutcrackers?

Nana - yes love, they're in the drawer

GS - Can I crack a nut with them?

Nana - no love, I haven't got any nuts

GS - Well why have you got nutcrackers then?

Children are just so logical!

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: kendall
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 08:52 AM

When my brilliant grand daughter was about 8 or 9 she had a pet white rat that lost the skin on its tail. thanks to me 4 year old grand son, and we took it to the vet. As we waited in the waiting room the nurse told us she would ask the vet what the bill might be to remove the rest of the tail. She went away, and I knew that my grand daughter didn't have any money, so we were discussing what to do if the bill was too high.
I said to her, "To be, or not to be; that is the question..." she picked it up and recited the whole soliloquy of Hamlet while I sat there gob smacked.

I once asked her what she was reading, at about that same age, and she said "Great Expectations."
She's a scary kid.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 10:06 PM

Oh, my! But what happened to the rat?

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: Michael
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 05:12 AM

Thereby hangs a tail.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 07:50 AM

The vet patched it up and I paid the bill.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 12:18 PM

One of my twins, very young but old enough to know better than to try to wake me up early on a weekend, toddled into my Mom's room where we were visiting and asked if she was awake because he wanted some breakfast. She said not yet, so he sat down on the floor and said...

OK, then, I'll just sit here and starve quietly.

Needless to say she got right up!

The other twin, also very young, was helping her into her PJs one evening and pointed to her boobs and asked why her elbows looked like that. We are still laughing about that one.

There was also a comment about how one has wrinkles instead of skin when one is old, but I don't recall how that one went...

Subject: RE: BS: Humor in grand children
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 03:42 PM

When I was 4 I asked my Mother for some salt. When she asked what for I told her that someone said I could catch a wild bird if I sprinkled salt on its tail. Knowing that I was being had, she said she didn't have any salt, so I asked her for an onion so I could squirt the juice into its eye.
I remember that like it was yesterday. Probably because she never let me forget it