BS: Who the hell is Chongo?

Subject: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Raptor
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 03:28 AM

Acording to some here the logic states that the more threads you have about you the more important you are. In that line of reasoning Chongo the Chimp is the most important one aroung but I can't recal any songs by him. Is it because I'm such a fool?

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 06:23 AM

No Rap.....Actually Chongo is famed for poop flinging which is similar to songwriting in some cases.............


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Bert
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 07:00 AM

Spaw. That is very true; Just watch it or you will get a reputation for making sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Raptor
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 07:53 AM

I love poop flinging as most of you can read.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 10:48 AM

If we could not read, why would we even be here?

You must've been living under a rock all your life if you don't know who Chongo is, Raptor. What are you, a total dunce? A drooling moron? A panty-wearing, parakeet-pandering knuckle-twister? He's a presidential candidate fer Chrissake, and he's the most famous Chimpanzee private eye of all time!

He's what Spaw could have become if he hadn't spent all those hours in the tool shed with the National Geographic Magazine and a box of tissues when he was a kid...

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 10:54 AM

Acording to some here the logic states that the more threads you have about you the more important you are.

To a degree that may be so. I would like to revise that formula though.

Take the total number of threads about a topic minus the number of those threads started by the subject with bonus minus points off for each thread started to highlight just how unimportant that topic is depending upon the utter pointlessness and silliness of the thread. Also bonus minus points must be awarded for every mention of feces or flatulence. For instance, this thread would have a value of minus 4. Taking these factors into account, Chongo's importance would have a high negative rating.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 11:17 AM

I disagree! This is possibly the most important and vital thread in Mudcat history! It's highly probable that, in the future, prospective Mudcat Cafe members will be required to pass a battery of tests on the content of this thread before being allowed to post to the BS section!

Said battery would consist of:

A written test of one's ability to compose cheesy prose in the style of Dashiell Hammett, or Mickey Spillane.

An oral test of one's ability to go "Ook, ook, oooook!"

A urine test to see if the prospective member's blood alcohol level is in at least the legally drunk range.

An anal test assessing one's ability to fling poop for distance and accuracy.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 11:19 AM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 11:26 AM

My retraction to Chongo:

I called you a completely stupid shit-flinging ugly as an asshole monkey. You aren't a monkey, you're an ape. Sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 12:58 PM

Spaw never had any tissues with him....

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 01:37 PM

He used his sleeve?

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Skivee
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 03:25 PM

I have no great love for Chongo, but I still think he should be given his due.
Chongo first came to prominence in the 30's with his song, "Yes, I'd Like Some Bananas", "I've Got A Lovely Branch Of Coconuts", and he also ghost-wrote the Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto #5 in Eb minor.
He spent several years as Cheetahs body double in over 20 Tarzan film, and also did most of Cheetah's stunt work.
He left his film career behind when he saw an opportunity in the late 50's during the beginning of the folk music craze. His compositions "Kumbyah,or I'll hit You With My Coconut ","Michael Row The Boat Ashore And Get Me Some Bananas,(or I'll hit You With My Coconut)", and "Bring Me Some Bananas, Sylie" garnered him a certain amount of commercial success.
Sadly, his abrasive personality, and low level of personal hygiene kept him from the notoriety he thought he so richly deserved.\
Today he spends most of his time flinging poo and spitting.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 04:08 PM

"Today he spends most of his time flinging poo and spitting."

and we, poor souls, spend an inordinate amount of time conversing with and about the virtual manifestation of a simian primate who lives, so 'tis said, with a Bob Dylan fan in a little town in Canada.

(Seems like there's been an interesting increase in 'Chongo' threads since Winter weather has limited the recreational opportunities ^{up there ^}... cabin fever, perhaps?)

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 04:17 PM

Closer than ya think, Bill. The Hawk has been afflicted with a nasty head cold for nearly a week now and is gettin' that cooped up feelin'...which is okay for a chicken, but not for a hawk! Ook! Ook!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 11:38 PM

He'll be well taken care of, I'm sure. Nobody would get cabin fever in Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 12 - 11:43 PM

That is one spooky song.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Ernest
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 01:41 PM

Skivee, that last remark of you - "Today he spends most of his time flinging poo and spitting" - is rather nasty.

Politically correct this should read: "Today he works as a journalist for the boulevard press"

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Skivee
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 01:53 PM

Ernest, I thought I was being fairly nice by not mentioning the third thing he spends most of his time doing...in front of the window.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 02:42 PM

What, you don't like Canadian folk music? Is that it? You'd rather listen to somebody like Buffy St. Marie or Anne Murray, huh? You probably wouldn't like a song about Canadian history, either! Probably hate Vancouver, too! Phooey! you sound like Chongo Chimp!

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 03:04 PM

That is a great song by a great Canadian singer.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 03:55 PM

Yeah, but do you know what it's about? Or that there is a re-enactment planned for this year??? And that this time the Americans are gonna win?

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 04:07 PM

Yes, I know exactly what it's about, and no, the Americans are not going to win. Not this year. Not any year.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 04:16 PM

"And that this time the Americans are gonna win?"

Hahahahaaa.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 04:27 PM

We lost the last time, so it's our turn to win this time. That's only fair. Besides, the last time you guys had British help and all we had was a bunch of untrained people led by the inept.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 05:04 PM

We were the British back then. And some French too. We also had some good help from the Mohawks, I'm happy to say. Yep, those untrained people led by the inept who came paddling across the Niagara River from the American side certainly did lose their nerve at the opportune moment...thank God. I might be speaking "American" now if that hadn't happened! ;-D

(to paraphrase an old and very silly cliche which is usually made in regards to the German language).

I say it's "silly" because I note that...the Quebecois still speak French. The Germans still speak German. The Japanese still speak Japanese. The Italians still speak Italian. The Iraqis still speak their native tongue(s). In spite of all of them having lost and been conquered by the dreaded foreigners.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Raptor
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 07:49 PM

We won in 1812 but I fear we would not win again for we still have the same wepons.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 08:47 PM

Never mind us, Rap. Have a go at Mexico, again.

Raptor... there will not be another conflict with the south. They were owned by the crown then and they are still owned by the crown. The Commonwealth is owned by the crown including colonies, like the US. Perhaps not "directly" owned under law by the crown in right of Her Majesty but by corporations. That's just the way it is. Very few Yanks understand that and that strikes me as odd. Nations are nations but the rich are rich and the rich decide what nations do. Her Majesty decides what Obama can do. She and the Queen of Spain and the Pope and... have more money than he has.

If anyone takes offense, I shall just say... BP oil spill. Case closed.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 09:51 PM

I think you are quite right about that, gnu. The real centre of control is London, the corporations, the biggest banks, and the Crown. Americans mostly cannot even imagine that that could be true, so they won't countenance the notion. That doesn't change anything. Obama's a puppet as far as I'm concerned. He was marketed brilliantly in 2008 to satisfy the emotional needs of millions of frustrated Americans who were desperate for a change after 8 dreadful years of the previous puppet...George Bush. They got a new puppet. They did not get the change they were voting for. I predict they will not get it next time either. I feel like I'm living in the declining years of the Roman Empire, watching the madness and corruption all around me, knowing I can do nothing about it...except do the best with my own personal life that I can while I am still here, and that's mostly just learning to love.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 10:28 PM

Remember that the Goths, Visigoths, and Vandals sacked Rome and generally made the Romans very, very upset. I suppose we'll have to do the same thing to our Northern Neighbors -- the Southern ones have guns the BATF sold them.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 12 - 10:59 PM

I think it more likely that the sacking of the present day "Rome" will be accomplished by its own citizens this time. But it's possible that the Southwest will be sacked by poverty-stricken swarms of Latinos too.

As for the Great White North, I think we'll weather the storm reasonably well. There's a lot of land up here, and not that many people. That's a good thing these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Who the hell is Chongo?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 12 - 09:40 AM

Heck, that's true here. Lots of land and low population density. Can we join Alberta?