BS: Banjo hell

Subject: BS: Banjo hell
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 02:52 PM

This really amused me.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 03:16 PM

LOL John! Actually, there are quite a few instruments that could be put behind the Scream; bagpipes perhaps, a child playing a recorder or violin, one of those slidy horizontal Hawaian guitar things, etc etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 03:19 PM

Hahahhaaa! Thanks Giok.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: GUEST,999
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 03:38 PM

I'm worried about that man!

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 04:01 PM

How about a little "Banjo Heaven"? click here for a free peek

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Wesley S
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 05:11 PM

And There's This One

From The New Yorker

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 05:16 PM

Bespoke clothing

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 05:22 PM

Giok... that one works on more than one level. Good one.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 05:29 PM

Never forget the playing of the bang-jo in the Okeefenokee Swamp, usually by a turkle.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 12 - 05:55 PM

But banjos are mentioned in all
of the great cartoons and comics.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 03:27 AM

There is noting that sounds better than a banjo, unless it's a chicken in a vacuum cleaner.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 04:48 AM

Guilty secret. I've got two banjos. I play so badly that I embarrass myself. Never take them out for a walk since......

Jim McPhee (who used to to run the Red Lion in Birmingham) said - Al. Leave the banjo at home - it makes you sound like a bloody floorsinger....!

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Ross Campbell
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 08:50 PM

Copycat screams, now!

flute scream

Ross

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Ross Campbell
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 09:02 PM

And again:-

flute scream (eBay) but not as good as the other one

Ross

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Ross Campbell
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 09:22 PM

Pick an instrument (no, please don't, you'll only encourage him/her):-

more screams (OK, the joke's worn thin now; stop it!)

Ross

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Jun 12 - 09:34 PM

"Banjo" and "hell" in the same thread title??? How can this be???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 13 - 01:18 AM

Death by dual banjos.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Acorn4
Date: 08 Feb 13 - 04:32 AM

This is a new song which seems to fit the thread:-

The Devil's Man

1.Well, used to be a banjo picker, I taught myself to play,
I practised all those licks, rolls and breakdowns,
I wore my fingers to the bone, the wife, the kids, the dog left home,
The neighbours moved out to another town.

2. So I set out to make my name, to get my place in the hall of fame,
On TV and on stage I'd make it real big.
So I went down to my local bar, played "Cripple Creek" and "Old Joe Clark"
Then said "hey, landlord won't you give me a gig?"

3. Well that landlord took an intake of breath, and he turned to me and shook his head,
And said "Y'know times are hard, I've had so many.
Banjo players come in here, most are faster than you in fact it's clear
You banjo players are really two a penny."

4.So I went away feeling blue, I knew what I had to do,
Down that long and dusty road with my masterplan,
And after I'd gone a mile or so, there he was sitting on a rock and 'yo',
Straight away I knew that this was indeed the devil's man.

5. So I said, "can you take me to your master, cos I need to play this damn thang faster,
Then the devil can have my soul for eternity."
Well, he stood up tall, hissed through his teeth
And shook his head in disbelief, and these were the word he said to me:-

Chorus:-

"The devil only wants fiddlers, they're all he's taking on,
The law of supply and demand decides what you're worth.
Right now he's up to his ears with souls of banjo players,
So stay down here and you can create hell on earth."

6. Well, after such a wasted trip, I threw that banjo in the skip,
And walked along with my head held low.
When all of a sudden, there I saw in the window of a music store
This box like thing with knobs all in rows

7.Well, I went into that store, spoke to the man, said "let me have a go at that thang",
I squeezed and pulled and out came this sound.
So I practised hard both night and day, and pretty soon I learned to play
A thousand tunes that just went round and round.

8. So I set out again to make my name, and get my place in the hall of fame,
On TV and on stage I'd make it real big.
So down I went to that local bar, played 'Shepherd's Hay' and 'Speed the Plough',
And said "Landlord will you give me a gig?"

9. Well that landlord drew in a breath, and yet again he shook his head,
Said "I've had 64 of the buggers in today",
Told me to shove it you know where, (but there was already a banjo there!),
So I went out of the door and was on my way.

10. So I went out feeling blue, I knew what I had to do,
Down that long and dusty road I travelled again,
And after I'd gone a dozen miles or so, I saw him sitting on his rock,
I said "hello, it's me again, can you help me, devil's man?"

11. I said "take me to your master, so I can play the melodeon faster
The devil can have my soul for eternity".
Well, he took a deep breath, hissed through his teeth,
And shook his head in disbelief, and these were the words he said to me:-

Chorus:-

"The devil only takes fiddlers, they're all he's taking on,
The law of supply and demand decides what you're worth.
It's an interesting theological debate whether box players have souls to take,
But when you get together you can sure as hell create hell on earth."

12.Well after such a wasted trip I threw that melodeon in the skip,
It landed on the banjo, perfect pitch I'd say,
But not wanting to be one of those blokes that tells old recycled jokes
I hung my head and carried on my way
Well I hadn't gone a minute or more when I ran across that music store
Looked in the window and hatched a cunning plan,
Now if you were there in my shoes, what do you think you'd choose,
-Hurdy Gurdy, bagpipes or bohdran?

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Feb 13 - 07:56 AM

When will they ever learn?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: GUEST,999
Date: 08 Feb 13 - 06:11 PM

Q How do you get two banjo players to play in unison?

A Shoot one.

Subject: RE: BS: Banjo hell
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 09 Feb 13 - 08:23 AM

Oh now! Just don't shoot Terry Joe!