BS: What happens when -

Subject: BS: What happens when -
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 04:51 PM

Here is the thread to ask the question you always wanted the answer to. Try it, someone may know the answer.

Here is the first one, with an answer:What happens to swallowed gum?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 04:54 PM

If you fart in a glass bottle, seal it up really well, and leave it outside all winter - will it still smell like a fart in the spring, when you open it?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 06:44 PM

...an irresistible force meets an immovable object?

Sure to start some 'cat fights at least :-)

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 06:52 PM

Ed... yes. Try it to make sure and let us know, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 07:00 PM

""I hate to bear bad news, but I think there were some
complications""

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 07:01 PM

I expected you to have an answer, gnu, you seem like a smart feller?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 07:07 PM

If you throw a pair of dirty underwear against a wall and they don't stick, does it mean they're still clean enough to wear one more day?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM

BWL... depends if ya turn em inside-out first, don't it? If not, ya need to consult a nutritionist and eat some fruit and veggies and cereal.

Yes, that is gross. But, it was a technical question which I had NEVER considered before. Why would anyone throw such at a wall? Wouldn't a simple visual inspection be sufficient? If visually impaired, scent might provide guidence.

DON'T cite me. He started it.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 07:37 PM

what if your underwear is yellow in the front AND the back? Or if it's brown on both sides?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 08:14 PM

Ed, regarding the fart in the glass bottle...I'm only theorizing, but I think that the olfactory qualities of the fart would weaken a bit through the winter months. In effect, the fart would grow "stale", and lose a good deal of its potency, but it would still be there in the spring, just in a weaker state. To get it cleanly into the bottle in the first place would be the challenging part. I should think that a narrow-necked bottle would work best. Like a wine bottle. You could lubricate the end, stick it up your rectum, then fart into the bottle without losing any gas at all to general dispersion into the atmosphere. Best if the bottle were elevated too, because hot gases rise! Get a harness that you can hang upsidedown in and get an assistant to pre-position the bottle in place between your legs and quickly remove and cork it once the fart has been safely harvested and contained.

Another problem! If the bottle is already full of air, which they normally are, then that air will resist entry of the fart. The ideal thing would be a bottle that contains nothing but a vacuum, but how do we prevent the vacuum from becoming prematurely engaged and sucking part of your innards into the bottle?

Hmmm. This is turning out to be tougher than I thought!

See if you can apply for a research grant and get some technical help from NASA or someone like that. The world needs to know!

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 08:36 PM

Me??? I captured a fart back in late 50s in a clean glass mustard jar... Every year I think, "This is the the year" but then this voice comes into me head and says, "Boberdz... Don't do it... Like a fine wine, it will just get better with time..."

Maybe I oughtta put it up on ebay...

Hey, speakin' of farts, I was lookin' thru the new "Solutions" catalog and they have a new product called "Subtle Butt"... It's like these "antimicrobial pads" that you stick in yer underwear when you regret ordering the pepperoni pizza earlier in the evening... 5 pack only $11.99 plus S & H, of course...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 08:49 PM

I KNOW about swallowed gum!

once upon a time, my ex-wife & I raised a baby fox..(whole story in itself)...but one day, we found this half-grown fox scooting around on it's bottom, obviously uncomfortable. We grabbed him and investigated and found that he had eaten some chewing gum, which had passed thru without being digested, and was thoroughly matted in the hair around his anus...*sigh*...so, we trimmed, pulled, and cleaned...etc...and that evening, we told the story to my friend Dwain....he listened to the story politely as we raved about POOR fox, chewing gum, clean up...etc...then remarked knowingly,

"so....chicled the shit out of him huh?"

(not sure how to spell that..chicle is easy, but since the verb form doesn't really exist, .....anyway, it SOUNDS good)..(chickled??)

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 09:03 PM

Bill, we pretty much the same thing happen with an old hen. Problem was, she was a danged good layer and one day she went and ate the chewin' gum my brother had dropped in the chicken yard and was frantically searching for (by taste). Anyway, the next morning she laid a bubble which put her eight inches off the nest. Before we even knew it, she'd laid six more and was nearly five feet off the ground. Neither Grandpa nor Grandma had ever faced this particular situation before and they keep talkin' back and forth about what to do. Meanwhile, it was gettin' hotter and hotter in that ol' chicken coop and Betsy (the hen) kept getting closer and closer to the ceiling as the air inside the bubble heated up. She was flatter'n a road-kill pancake aginst the top of the coop when the bubble exploded. It had pretty much filled the coop, pushing all the other chickens against the walls and when it blew it blew sixty-five chickens to bits. Rained feathers and chicken parts for neigh onto a week and Grandpa had to rebuild the coop AND get a whole new batch of chickens.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 09:17 PM

ummm... sure... (I don't suppose anyone got pics?) ☺

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 09:45 PM

When you turn dirty underwear inside out, they always seem clean(er) on the other side. How often can you actually do that with the same pair, before the other side looks dirty?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Ed T
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 09:48 PM

What happens when you kick the shit out of a turd (aka terd), just what would be left?

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 10:28 PM

If you swallow a watermelon seed (or a lemon seed, or an orange seed, or indeed any kind of seed) will you really have a watermelon vine growing in your innards soon afterwards?

I was told this as a child, you know.......and have believed it ever since. Never been quite game to put it to the test though......just in case.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 06:43 AM

We were told as small children that if you eat your bogies, you'll get giant bogie worms in your tummy. Stuff of nightmares.

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 06:53 AM

If you throw your underpants at the wall and they don't stick..this means they are good for another week.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: David C. Carter
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 07:15 AM

Dave H,what does it mean if the wall comes down!

Just arskin'.



David

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Silas
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 07:40 AM

Subject: RE: BS: What happens when -
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 08:53 AM

I know there were questions you had on this topic, and you were looking for answers - but were too timid to ask them on mudfart. Here they are:

Everything about farts