BS: The right to carry a gnu

Subject: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 02:18 PM

aka the Budweiser Challenge Trophy.
Loaded or not, it's your choice.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 02:36 PM

Loaded or not? Depends on the time of day, don't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 03:00 PM

It's not Unix.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 03:21 PM

When you carry a gnu loaded with Budweiser you do so at your own risk!
Better to load up the gnu and let the gnu carry you.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 03:57 PM

The trigger did't work as well as it used to on the old gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Dead Horse
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:07 PM

Its not the gnu, its the person carrying it.
Most gnu holders are responsible folk who know how to handle one, and it is the untrained few who bring gnus into disrepute.
Gnu droppings are good for the garden, but the liquid outpourings are where the Budweiser comes in......

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:28 PM

Dead Horse,
As you are a horse I respect your expertise and your Clydesdale cousins hauling the brew-wagon produce much of the product. However gnu likes the brew and I am not sure that he knew.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:28 PM

If you carry your gnu in a shoulder holster, how do you keep it from making a bulge?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:33 PM

I don't know about anyone else, but, if he can't handle his booze tonight, I won't be carrying gnu anywhere. And, what's with the right to bare gnus. That one seems scary to me.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:35 PM

No need to beat a dead horse on Mudcat, or elsewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:38 PM

You don't carry a gnu, you train it! With a little effort it can learn to guard the house, fetch the newspaper, sniff out rats,... maybe even do entertaining tricks....


but, if you decide to try this, be sure to get a young one, because...

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You can't teach an old gnu dog tricks!


(Had me hat already... I'm long gone.)

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: autoharpbob
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:41 PM

As long as it is not concealed?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 04:43 PM

After the gnus. comes the weather forecast.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 05:08 PM

http://gnuart.onshore.com/uncle_gnu_i_want.html

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 05:10 PM

Is that your gnu or are you just pleased to see me?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 05:23 PM

Look out, he's got a nug!

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 05:31 PM

""Don't bring your gnu to town boy
Leave your gnu at home""

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: bobad
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 05:35 PM

gnus don't kill people............

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,Frug
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 06:13 PM

Ahh my favourite band Gnus and Roses !!

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: akenaton
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 06:33 PM

"gnus don't kill people............"

They just make them give up the will to live.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 06:59 PM

Please be my guest, ake.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 07:41 PM

If one carries a gnu, must one use bare arms? Doesn't that get itchy? Those critters have fleas, ya know.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: foggers
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 07:56 PM

It is so much colder here in the UK than the US; I think that's why the right to bare gnus never really caught on here. However my aunt was a llama farmer, which made her much calmer, and they were covered in wool so they were not bare at all.

In other gnus, it has become apparent that I have had one too many snifters of Baileys, clad in my tiger print onesie, so I bid you adieu. Gnu'it all.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 09:30 PM

Stick to your gnu's

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: BK Lick
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 11:13 PM


The Gnu Song as done by The Muppets.

A year ago, last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo,
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot.
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons,
And the number of quills a porcupine has got.

So I asked him, "What's that creature there?". He answered, "Oh, it's a h-elk".
I might have gone on thinking that was true.
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
And remarked, "I h-ain't a h-elk. I'm a g-nu".

"I'm a g-nu,
I'm a g-nu,
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo.
I'm a g-nu,
How do you do?
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho."

"I'm a g-nu, spelt G-N-U.
I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo.
So let me introduce,
I'm g-neither man or moose,
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no,
I'm a g-nu!"

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-On-Sea,
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-Under-Lime it was actually.
And the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream,
Which I'll tell you all about... some other time.

Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed,
Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew.
A bison? No, it's not a bison. An ocapi? It's unlikely, really.
Could it be a hartebeest?
When I seemed to hear a voice: "I'm a... g-nu..."

"I'm a g-nu,
A g-nother g-nu!
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you.
I'm a g-nu,
How do you do?
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho."

"I'm a g-nu, spelt G-N-U,
Call me 'bison' or 'ocapi' and I'll sue.
G-nor am I in the least,
Like that dreadful hartebeest,
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no...
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu...
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu!

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 08:08 PM

There are dangers inherent in carrying a Gnu, whether openly or concealed.

It should be remembered that this is a Wilde Beeste, which is capable, by reason of weight and armament (horns), of inflicting considerable and serious damage.

Wildlife experts suggest that the 2nd amendment needs some changes in light of the fact that at the time of its drafting, the natural habitat of the Gnu and many other Wilde Beestes (e.g. the less well known Hearty Beeste) was marked on the map of the African Continent simply as "Terra Icognita".

The founding fathers could not have forseen the dangers that would in time attend upon the bearing of concealed Gnus.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 09:23 PM

""This is Frank Drebin, Police Squad. Throw down your gnus, and come on out with your hands up. Or come on out, then throw down your gnus, whichever way you wanna do it. Just remember the two key elements here: one, gnus to be thrown down; two, come on out! ""

Movie quote:
"The Naked Gnu - 2 1/2"

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 03:45 AM

Naked Gnu?

Nope. Don't want to go there....

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 03:57 AM

if a gnu moved to N'Awlins, met a g-nother g-nu and they formed a band would they play zebryco?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 04:23 AM

The National Trifle Association stands with the Fondant Fathers on this.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Dead Horse
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 06:58 AM

And a Happy Gnu Year to one and all.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 07:04 AM

And let us not forget Custard's Last Stand.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 07:08 AM

Chortle chortle

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 08:25 AM

""Naked Gnu?

Nope. Don't want to go there.... ""


You are just "so ethical", LH- :)-;)

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 08:26 AM

The gnu evolved from a peashooter

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 12:45 PM

I asked myself, "What is a gnu, actually?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwmBtcc64nM

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 03:35 PM

Happiness is a warm Gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 03:54 PM

""He carries a small gnu, to compensate for a huge pecker""

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 04:00 PM

""Jane: I've heard police work is dangerous.

Drebin: It is. That's why I carry a big gnu.

Jane: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?

Drebin: I used to have that problem.

Jane: What did you do about it?

Drebin: I just think about baseball.""

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 04:01 PM

Ba-dump-bump!

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 04:26 PM

""I sell gnus to every army but the Salvation Army.""
-Lord of War

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 05:23 PM

gnu, have you and your friends ever been to Navarone by any chance?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 06:01 PM

There's a rather posh neighborhood in Pensacola called "Gabarone". One of the wealthy homeowners, an elderly bachelor with no heirs or close relatives, spent his dying days in a local hospital operated by the Catholic Church. He received excellent care and, to show his gratitude, willed his mansion to the Church with the stipulation that it be used as a retirement facility for nurses from the hospital. Those retirees are, of course, the nuns of Gabarone.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 06:04 PM

Just why would anyone put a gnu in a half-cocked position?

Someone had to ask it:)

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM

No, Eliza, but I have been Greeced... in a way. It was gnu to me and I'll never forget her.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 05:26 AM

I would cheerfully carry gnu to the furthermost corners of the planet & back, should that service ever be required!
                                     Nigel.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 08:51 AM

No gnus is good gnus!

Er, hang on, on second thoughts...

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 09:18 AM

Beware of any "Greecy" gnu salesman.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 09:21 AM

Beware of dyslexic gnu, nug ngu, or ung salesmen.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 12:52 PM

And also of Gnufie jokes.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 01:16 PM

The gnu Screech

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 01:33 PM

The gnufight at OK Coral (or, the Circle K convenience store, Couche-Tard in Quebec)

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Mysha
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 06:52 AM

Can todays gnus still hoot peas then?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 07:30 AM

Ena, Minnie and Martha in the snug!

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: foggers
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 11:23 AM

And who can forget Tom Cruise's mesmerising and bison-like performance in "Top Gnu"?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: olddude
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:57 PM

which leads to a bigger question. how many gnu's does it take to change a light bulb?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 12:59 PM

Budda Gnu says "Change comes from within."

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:32 PM

Oh good. When I next need some change, I'll know where to look!

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 01:45 PM

Bayonet or screw fit light bulb? There's a big difference between bayonetting and screwing...

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:03 PM

Gnu, did you know your 'posh' name is Connochaetes taurinus? Bit of a mouthful.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:05 PM

Nothing is really Gnu under the sun. He burns too easily...

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:10 PM

Eliza... as in taurinus a new one?

Amos... I could sunburn just bookin a flight to visit you in sunny Calleeforneeahhh.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 02:43 PM

You are taking on a hell of a job keeping an animal whose idea of "Walkies" is an annual migration from Gnu Brunswick to Gnu Orleans.

You are going to get very footsore.

You'll need several pairs of Gnu shoes.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 03:22 PM

Maybe the soon-to-be gnu year will bring in a gnu and improved gnu, (versus the no-so improved gnu)?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 04:44 PM

WHen I was about six, I read in an animal book about these animals in Africa called wildebeests. For ages I pronounced this 'wildee beesties'. My parents never corrected me, as they thought it was funny.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 05:26 PM

Eliza... not to be confused with the Windybeeste, which is a gnu who's had too much Budweiser. It's an ill Windybeeste that blows no good.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 06:03 PM

Pardom me boss. is this the cat that chewed yer gnu shoes?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: olddude
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 06:29 PM

I am hear to tell ya, I ain't carrying his fat ass around no I am not. I just don't have the back anymore ... so GNU, you be walkin

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 12 - 06:43 PM

Dan... welcome back. I hope your vacation was good.

I fought long and hard (2.5+ years) to lose 110 pounds. So, when you say you won't carry my fat ass? Fact is, ya don't hafta. Yo, Dan... check this post out... ya gotta go to the thread to get the link... yer gonna laff!

Subject: BS: Whadja git fer Christmas 2012?
From:gnu - PM
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 03:28 PM

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 05:51 AM

SWoon be time to say Happy Gnu Year, again.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: olddude
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 12:33 PM

LOL I know you did my brother but can't stop teasing ya. Happy New Gnu :-)

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 12:55 PM

Be happy in the Gnu Gnear, gnu?

That's not a leap:)

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 02:09 PM

What's the Gnus, oh, my bold Shelmalier?

I don't need to lose 110 pounds--which I applaud heartily--because I already have a Gnu look. I have a Gnu dog, too, not to be confused with a duckdog.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 08:18 PM

That like a bird dog?

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 08:39 PM

"Shelmalier?"

Huh? I am not familier with the term.... or even know if it was directed in my direction???

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John P
Date: 29 Dec 12 - 08:41 PM

Yak, yak, yak.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 05:41 AM

Kelly the Boy from Killane You'll find the word used in this song g. Which is what Amos is quoting from.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 08:07 AM

Oh my! Sloshed at 9:39PM! That's (not) gnu. Thanks, John.

Subject: RE: BS: The right to carry a gnu
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 11:47 AM

If there isn't a prize for amusing thread titles - there should be and the op should get it
Thanks for bringing a little light relief to a horrificly depressing, confusing and all-too-common subjet
Happy Gnu Yaer
Jim Carroll