BS: Beans: what do you know?

Subject: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:15 PM

Beans, part deux. I must admit that beans don't make me fart all that much. Not bragging, but I thought y'all should know that.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:26 PM

I know a great deal about beans. What do you want to know?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:29 PM

I want to know if you know how much I'm gonna enjoy making that recipe you posted. One thing I didn't ask, Charmion, is if I double the recipe would you suggest any quantity changes?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:35 PM

I posted this in the thread about guns before I saw this thread. Oddly, they don't make me fart that much either.

Copy/pasted:
Beans. I never really liked them all that much, but then people started talking about them in threads on Mudcat, and I had to go get beans.
I've found nothing that can beat Bush's Smokehouse Grillin' Beans. I have to admit I'm fond of anything smoked. Beans, bacon, cheese. Got some smoked mozzarella and portobello mushrooms yesterday, and now I have to come up with an idea.

Y'all don't realize what an effect these threads have. Somebody talks about Velveeta grilled cheese, I gotta have one. Somebody talks about chili, I gotta make chili. Pecan pie, cream pie, chocolate... this place should come with a warning label!

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:39 PM

Johnny cake, sausages, bicuits, butter and molasses.

Sorry, Jeri... you tempted me. You brought it upon yourself!

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:39 PM

Quel recipe?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:42 PM

(That was meant for 999 and/or Charmion.)

Gnu, fortunately, I'm not that hungry and will probably just have some soup tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Bobert
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:48 PM

I like pinto beans...

Soak 'um 24 hours in lightly salted water, cook 'um up for a couple hours over low heat, serve um' up with about 1/4 cup of fresh chopped onion...

Don't get no better than that...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 06:53 PM

Yes it does, Bobert... speakin a soakins... salt cod fish cakes. Got yer beans beat all to hell.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 07:38 PM

Gnu, speaking of salt cod fish cakes, do you ever see fish that is smoked that looks really orange? It was some sort of white fish (as opposed to the northern whitefish). I used to be able to buy it but now never see it anymore. I'd cook/simmer it lightly in milk with a bit of pepper. Wasn't salty at all, just really smoked. It had some bones, but they were big enough to handle.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 07:42 PM

Many kinds of beans produce gas. (Note the civilized synonym)

Jacobs Cattle are the least offensive.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 08:01 PM

Bean Spoon.

User Instructions:

Place in pot while cooking any kind of beans. Do not remove. The spoon will help take the gas out of the beans. The little farts will climb up the ladder and jump over the side! Spoon endorsed by The Musical Fruit Society.

Picture here.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 08:46 PM

I have a water smoker. Nothing like fresh hickory or pecan wood smoked meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 08:58 PM

Aw, man, brisket is my favourite. Never had it done with pecan wood that I know of, but hickory, yes. Make a guy's mouth water. Just imagine a meal with smoked meat and baked beans. If that don't do it I don't know what will.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,Charmion's brother Andrew
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 10:22 PM

This is fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: bobad
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 10:27 PM

Not too crazy about the sweet in NA style beans - I much prefer my beans done in a more Mediterranean style ie. garlicky with tomatoes and/or spinach.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 10:40 PM

"For best beans, it's hard beat the batch you make yourself. A slow-cooker can make the most ham-fisted son of a seacook into a Master of Beans.

Dijon mustard -- that's the secret. With a good dose of garlic, some thyme, and a couple of fresh Roma tomatoes along with the canonical blackstrap molasses and salt pork. And Navy beans, of course."

Jeri, that's Charmion's recipe (slightly edited) from the guns thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: number 6
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 10:56 PM

Forget hot sauce, or peppers in your beans, and throw out your can Bush's Grillin Beans

'cause

all you need in your beans

is some .... voodoo chile


biLL ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 11:12 PM

Jimi's "not available in your country".
9, thanks. I couldn't find it.
I seriously have to avoid food threads this late!

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Janie
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 11:34 PM

Lots of foods or food combinations can supply me with more methane than a genteel lady like myself ought to brag about. Or at my age, I appreciate the anonymous observation "What ain't dried or shriveled up leaks."

In the matter of beans - don't fix baked beans. Just not my cup of tea (which I prefer sweetened, thank you, and don't give me a snooty waiter look in New York and hand me a packet of sugar that we both know can not be adequately stirred into a glass full of ice and unsweetened ice tea.)

Not quite true. I think of beans, in combination with corn or rice, as a main protein entree. Boston baked beans, sweet and cooked with pork fat of some ilk are tasty as a side dish with certain meals, but not very healthy, and being a side dish, not worth the effort to make from scratch. I will occasionally buy canned Boston baked beans or the more southern pork 'n beans for a side dish when I am in a hurry for something to serve with smoked pork chops or a ham steak - for a quick fix something and throw it on the table meal.

My preference for beans as a main dish are pintos. I grew up with pintos cooked with onion and saltpork or fatback. Yummy but not healthy.

I've fixed 'em vegetarian for lo! these many years now. Took awhile to figure out how to make them tasty sans the pork but have worked it out very well now. I soak pintos overnight - 8 hours will do it - and add a whole coarsely chopped onion, a couple of chopped cloves of garlic, and some chili powder to the soaking water. If I cook them in the pressure cooker I drain the soaking water and start anew with liquids, but otherwise cook them in the liquid in which they soaked, adding more water as needed. When the cooking begins, I add more onion, more chili powder, another clove of garlic, a bay leaf, a pinch of cumin, basil, oregano, marjoram, summer savory, and tarragon. I don't measure the herbs but am pretty generous with them, especially the majoram and savory. About 1/2 hour before they are done I add 2-4 tablespoons of tamari. If Dani is coming to supper I also add salt about 10 minutes before they are done.

At table, I offer serving bowls of chopped raw onion and shredded sharp cheddar cheese for those that want to stir them in. I taste the beans often while they are cooking and may add a bit more chili powder or herbs to insure they are flavorful. I like my pintos flavorful, not hot. Chili powder is actually quite mild, and I add only enough to intensify the flavor of the pintos, not enough to add "heat." The pintos combined with cornbread provide a complete protein. Just because that is how I was raised, I also always serve coleslaw with pintos and cornbread. (And blackstrap molasses for the cornbread for them what wants it.) Personally, I like to crumble the cornbread into the bowl of beans. Son prefers his cornbread on the side, with molasses.

I occasionally fix black beans and rice from scratch, but am more likely to use canned black beans to make a nice summer bean dish. Drain canned black beans. Add generous handfuls of fresh basil and thinly sliced red onion, along with a straight-forward oil and vinegar dressing, or oil and lemon juice.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 11:35 PM

Here's a fact of life: it is a waste of time to make chili for a choir. Nobody will eat it, because they are too worried that they will fart in close quarters.

Recently I had a brilliant idea for dealing with that. I served chili, but instead of the usual kind of beans, I put in French-cut green beans. It was very popular. I cook the beans in the microwave and add them to the chili close to the end of the cooking period.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 12:54 AM

I know not to put them in my ears.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 04:15 AM

Beans, beans, good for the heart,
The more you eat the more you fart,
The more you fart the better you feel......
So let's have beans for every meal!

I cannot claim credit for that gem, it was told to me many years ago and for some unknown reason has stuck in my brain.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:08 AM

9... smoked cod. I like to bake mine in milk with some marg, thicken it into a white sauce and serve it on/with spuds. Diced yellow onion optional (I require it).

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 07:01 AM

Hey, Nine --

I don't double that slow-cooker recipe because the capacity of the slow-cooker and our appetite for beans are both limited. It takes us several days to get through one batch, so I figure that's enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 09:45 AM

Maybe I'll post a few later today when I'm home with my cookbooks.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 09:58 AM

Thank you, all.

Jennie, here's another that made the rounds when I was a kid. We thought it was the ultimate in wit and humour. Someone would start and all would join in:

Beans, beans, the musical fruit,
The more you eat the more you toot,
The more you toot the better you feel
So let's have beans for every meal.

Gnu, that's gotta be it. I haven't seen it on the shelves for a long time. I'm with you on the butter/marg, onion and potato.

Another kind of beans I like is refried. I've never been able to make my own. Just doesn't taste the same as El Paso, and I do like them. My love affair with beans started when I was living in a rooming house decades back. Canned beans were a food that could be eaten straight from the can. Only thing to wash was the spoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 10:13 AM

Nine, that orange-coloured smoked fish you remember may be smoked haddock, known to many as Finnan Haddie.

My granny's recipe is much like your method: sauté an onion, add fish, add milk and a good grind of black pepper, poach very gently -- do not let the milk boil. Serve with boiled spuds.

Very, very Scots food.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 10:23 AM

I know how many beans make five!

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 11:14 AM

Charmion, I think that's it. I'm gonna keep my eyes open. If I can't get that I'll try it out with smoked cod. Merci bien beaucoup.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 11:48 AM

Smoked haddock? BLASPHEMY says I!!! Breaded (NO wash) and fried in oil.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 11:59 AM

17th century epigram

If one must die as oft as breath departs,
Then he must often die who often farts,
And if to die be but to lose one's breath,
Then death's a fart, so a fart for death.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 12:01 PM

Beans... I know that dragging 100lb. bags of 'em out of an enclosed semi's trailer and stackin' 'em on pallets in 100°F weather is not fun.(only had to do this twice)

I know that when gallon cans of pork & beans that were not properly cooked begin exploding in high stacks deep in a warehouse, one does not want to be near.... and after a few days, they smell 'interesting'.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM

I know that the difference between fresh-picked beans and their reconstituted dried counterparts is roughly the same as the difference between fresh-picked corn-on-the-cob and a bowl of grits. The only thing they have in common is that they both came from the same plant. Fresh-picked beans are wondrous vegetables. But when those same beans are dried, they lose both their wonder and their vegetableness. They become merely food, in the most generic sense of the word. They'll keep you from starving. That's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 02:05 PM

Fellow I know went to a farmer and asked for five pounds of kidley beans. The man said, "What?" He said, "I'd like five pounds of kidley beans." The farmer thought for a second and said, "You mean kidney beans, don't you?" My friend replied, "That's what I said, diddle I?"

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 02:14 PM

Oooohhh.. I can't remember exactly when I first heard that one! I was 'maybe' 12?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 04:44 PM

999, your version is perhaps a little more genteel than mine.....in Oz we don't toot, we call a spade a spade and we fart.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:06 PM

So long as you don't descend to calling it a f***ing shovel.

When people say a friend or relative has "passed", meaning died, my lateral, trivial mind always leaps to thoughts of intestinal gas.

Fortunately, I have 50 years of practice in keeping my face straight.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:10 PM

I'm ignoring you, Bill :-)

JennieG: G'day. I know you Aussies are great people--remind me of Canadians. What I don't know is what beans y'all eat.

BTW, have you escaped the fires this year?

BM

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:38 PM

I worked ambulance for six years and emergency response (FD) for fifteen years (concomitantly in a manner of speaking). Noises come from bodies as they expire, when they expire and after they expire. I understand C's straight face. There are times it is funny and hard to hold on if ya know what I mean.

OK, I need a refried beans recipe that involves lard, peppers and cilantro and cumin. Any takers?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 10:39 PM

999, so far this year the closest fires have been at least 2-3 hours from us - that doesn't sound like much, but those fires were burning in mostly inaccessible country, much of it quite difficult to get to. We've had a stormy summer so far with many lightning strikes, which is how those fires started. We live on the edge of a largish (by Oz standards) town, not right out in the bush, and I think we are quite safe here.

We eat whatever beans we feel like at the time! A summer favourite in some circles is bean salad made of tinned beans drained and rinsed, then tossed with finely chopped red onion, corn kernels, any colour capsicum - you know it as pepper? - whatever else your heart desires, tossed with a vinaigrette dressing.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 02:10 PM

Breaded, fried in canola oil haddock for supper and Mum has ordered French Style breen beans ta go with. To me, it should be peas with white salt fish but the Franch Style green beans don't produce gas like peas do and there ain't much chance of opening a window here today. -17 tonight with a high of about -30WC tomorrow. No lightning strikes expected.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,Musket sans cookie
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 03:10 PM

Don't be mean with the beans Mum!
Beanz mean fartz

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 09:47 AM

I just sampled the latest batch of slow-cooker beans, and they are dark and delicious as always. For the Brits among us, delicious on toast for lunch, topped with a poached or fried egg!

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:14 PM

I still ain't servin em you ever visit, 9.

The Coop has 400ml cans of Graves beans at 50p ea in 6-packs. I was there just before noon and the second pallet was near gone. I only bought 2 packs each of the molasses and the maple slurpup because it was like a bee hive at sunset. I have a recipe for them... 1 can beans, canopener*, spoon**.

*a knife may be substituted
** green tree bark sterilized in a fire may be substituted if you forget the spoon

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:25 PM

gnu, I bow to your expertise with respect to eliminating effort from the bean-preparation process. I am not, however, prepared to drive all the way to New Brunswick in winter, even for Graves' beans.

I hope you realize that the Great Canadian Bean Curtain prevents shipments of Graves' beans from travelling west of Edmunston. It's one of life's great inequities.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:15 PM

I still make my own beans but only twice a month and only in winter. The tines are not dear in comparison when one takes into account that they last for years and are handy and healthy. I just wish they wouldn't add ANY salt. Salt in any canned food is NOT required. Frozen food, yeah, I understand.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:25 PM

Home-made beans are definitely a winter treat. In summer, I don't think I could take 14 hours of molasses-y steam in the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:57 PM

14 hours? Huh? Please share your recipe.

That reminds me. My bro ate a LOT of beans. Every meal, beans were a side dish. Tweaked the old family recipe... YEECCCHHHH! I'll just tell yas the worst part. He "quick soaked" beans with baking soda. Talk about absolutely ruining beans.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 05:44 PM

Charmion's bean recipe

"Dijon mustard -- that's the secret. With a good dose of garlic, some thyme, and a couple of fresh Roma tomatoes along with the canonical blackstrap molasses and salt pork. And Navy beans, of course."