BS: Beans: what do you know?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 10:49 AM

Poem to the Phaseolus vulgaris

Beans, I like beans,
Bean lovers know exactly what I means,
I buy them from the deli
'Cause they help to warm my belly
And they sing goodbye while exiting in streams.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 09:58 AM

"Good chili, good wildflowers, and good singing - no farts noticed.
-Joe-"

When I'm out I always make friends with the household dog and have him sit next to me. That way if I drop one I can give Fido a dirty look and then go sit elsewhere. It's a tough life for canines in this part of the world, Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 07:22 AM

And stalking you...

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 06:15 AM

Somebody was Jackin you around.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 17 Jan 13 - 06:00 AM

Beans equal serious trouble for sky giants and pathway to a farm fowl what lays golden eggs. That's what I've heard.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 09:44 PM

That's soil, not soul, turning from grey-brown to red as you cross the Grits-Youall-Ma'am Frontier ...

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 09:42 PM

For years, I have been aware of a line on the highway somewhere in, perhaps, southern Pennsylvania or maybe Maryland. It's about where the soul turns from grey-brown to red, and you start seeing crepe myrtle and azaleas growing wild. North of that line, you get potatoes and toast with your breakfast in diners and people are likely to address an individual as Miss or even "Hey, lady"; a group is likely to be "youse". South of that line, one gets grits for breakfast, a woman old enough to vote is ma'am, and a group is y'all.

Does that frontier also apply to beans -- on the northern side, the navy or Great Northern bean, and the pinto bean to the south?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: open mike
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 05:10 PM

Jimi Hendrix Voodoo Chile Lulu show live ---"not available in your country"

Why does Irish bean soup have 239 beans in it? One more and it would be two-farty.

i always put some tomatoes...canned or fresh...sauce or diced...in my pinto bean crock pot...and often a little can of salsa...(chopped up tomatoes, onions, peppers)....and sometimes a box of taco seasoning...a veggie food developed for making vegetarian taco filling....which has tvp for some meaty/beefy texture...as well as garlic and onions and several types of peppers...cayenne, cumin, paprika, and season salt...

we have two "croak pots"
one has a removeable crockery part for easy cleaning, (it can be put int the dishwasher) the other is not submersible.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 09:59 PM

That's a very good page you linked to, 9 -- thanks. I'm pleased to note that I do all that stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 08:11 PM

Cool. But, I just decided I didn't want one. Anyone who is getting one for the first time should read this thread and be aware that they need to take care and follow the good advice and links on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 07:39 PM

I make my chili with as many different varieties of beans as I can find - usually five or six cans of beans (all different), three big cans of tomatoes, a medium onion, a pound of ground beef, a coupla tablespoons of chili powder, dried chili peppers to taste, and peppers from a jar if I have them. Cook the hell out of it all in a crock pot, and it tastes delicious. Haven't tried it with a choir, but our song circle likes it - I make a pot of chili for our annual nature hike, potluck, and song circle at my house in the Sierra foothills.
Good chili, good wildflowers, and good singing - no farts noticed.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 06:28 PM

Safety for gnu and his cropcot/craprot/croakpit slow cooker.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 06:13 PM

Points taken, gnu.

I always check to ensure that food in a slow-cooker is bubbling (i.e., at boiling point) when I take the lid off. To keep the temperature steady and, thus, maintain the seal throughout the hours of cooking, I put a large tea cosy over the little one (which we use for oatmeal) and folded towels over the larger ones.

I have used the slow-cooker for beans for at least 20 years, quite safely. Not one of the many people who have eaten my beans has ever dropped dead of ptomaine or any other food-related illness, or indeed ever complained of a collywobble.

As I said, never a bit of trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 05:07 PM

Details escape me (you should all know I have a poor memory by now... I think >;-)... but when I was deciding to purchase a slow cooker I researched them extensively. 1. Some foods (beans? for one... can't remember) should not be cooked in a slow cooker. 2. If a slow cooker looses it's "seal" or any heat at any point during the cooking, bacteria can grow and be a problem.

I read of electrical problems with some but that is a very remote possibility as such products are taken off the market immediately after any incidents.

Maybe I am too cautious but I just decided not to cook food at such a low temperature... I have the option to avoid the "convenience".

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Maryrrf
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 01:14 AM

This morning I assembled Charmion's bean recipe - i just now sampled the results and it's divine. I used bits of ham - lots of it. Cooking the beans in the crock pot/slow cooker is so easy - and when I came home tonight the smell was just mouth watering. I think I'll leave the beans on low until morning. My crock pot is over 30 years old and still works perfectly. It has an "automatic" setting where you can put it on high and it will automatically switch to low after four hours. I've never heard any bad news about slow cookers - they're almost foolproof. Very little mess, don't use much electricity, and it's almost impossible to burn or overcook anything especially if you set it on low.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 08:07 PM

What bad news have you heard about slow-cookers, gnu? This enquiring mind wishes to know.

I have three -- small, medium and large. The medium one is programmable and the others are just on and off. I have never had a minute's trouble with any of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 06:59 PM

Slow cooker! Aha! Not for this little black duck. Heard too much bad news about them. I'll stick to a regular oven or pot, thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 06:46 PM

I grew up eating baked navy beans once a week (normally Saturday).
While I sttill like 'em, I occsionally have a real yearning for black turtle beans once and awhile. They go nicely with steamed rice with a bit of hot sauce on it for flavour.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 06:12 PM

Slow-cooker beans:

To a pound of navy beans, add four and a half cups of water, four ounces of diced salt pork, 1/3 cup molasses, 1/4 cup brown sugar, one tablespoon Dijon mustard, maybe half a teaspoon salt, some minced garlic, one onion (diced small), some dried thyme, and two fresh Roma tomatoes, cut up.

Set the slow-cooker on Low and leave it alone for 12 to 14 hours. If the kitchen s draughty, you may wish to drape a towel over the lid.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 05:47 PM

That still don't explain the "... 14 hours of molasses-y steam in the house.", 9.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 05:44 PM

Charmion's bean recipe

"Dijon mustard -- that's the secret. With a good dose of garlic, some thyme, and a couple of fresh Roma tomatoes along with the canonical blackstrap molasses and salt pork. And Navy beans, of course."

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:57 PM

14 hours? Huh? Please share your recipe.

That reminds me. My bro ate a LOT of beans. Every meal, beans were a side dish. Tweaked the old family recipe... YEECCCHHHH! I'll just tell yas the worst part. He "quick soaked" beans with baking soda. Talk about absolutely ruining beans.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:25 PM

Home-made beans are definitely a winter treat. In summer, I don't think I could take 14 hours of molasses-y steam in the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:15 PM

I still make my own beans but only twice a month and only in winter. The tines are not dear in comparison when one takes into account that they last for years and are handy and healthy. I just wish they wouldn't add ANY salt. Salt in any canned food is NOT required. Frozen food, yeah, I understand.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:25 PM

gnu, I bow to your expertise with respect to eliminating effort from the bean-preparation process. I am not, however, prepared to drive all the way to New Brunswick in winter, even for Graves' beans.

I hope you realize that the Great Canadian Bean Curtain prevents shipments of Graves' beans from travelling west of Edmunston. It's one of life's great inequities.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:14 PM

I still ain't servin em you ever visit, 9.

The Coop has 400ml cans of Graves beans at 50p ea in 6-packs. I was there just before noon and the second pallet was near gone. I only bought 2 packs each of the molasses and the maple slurpup because it was like a bee hive at sunset. I have a recipe for them... 1 can beans, canopener*, spoon**.

*a knife may be substituted
** green tree bark sterilized in a fire may be substituted if you forget the spoon

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 09:47 AM

I just sampled the latest batch of slow-cooker beans, and they are dark and delicious as always. For the Brits among us, delicious on toast for lunch, topped with a poached or fried egg!

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,Musket sans cookie
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 03:10 PM

Don't be mean with the beans Mum!
Beanz mean fartz

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 02:10 PM

Breaded, fried in canola oil haddock for supper and Mum has ordered French Style breen beans ta go with. To me, it should be peas with white salt fish but the Franch Style green beans don't produce gas like peas do and there ain't much chance of opening a window here today. -17 tonight with a high of about -30WC tomorrow. No lightning strikes expected.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 10:39 PM

999, so far this year the closest fires have been at least 2-3 hours from us - that doesn't sound like much, but those fires were burning in mostly inaccessible country, much of it quite difficult to get to. We've had a stormy summer so far with many lightning strikes, which is how those fires started. We live on the edge of a largish (by Oz standards) town, not right out in the bush, and I think we are quite safe here.

We eat whatever beans we feel like at the time! A summer favourite in some circles is bean salad made of tinned beans drained and rinsed, then tossed with finely chopped red onion, corn kernels, any colour capsicum - you know it as pepper? - whatever else your heart desires, tossed with a vinaigrette dressing.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:38 PM

I worked ambulance for six years and emergency response (FD) for fifteen years (concomitantly in a manner of speaking). Noises come from bodies as they expire, when they expire and after they expire. I understand C's straight face. There are times it is funny and hard to hold on if ya know what I mean.

OK, I need a refried beans recipe that involves lard, peppers and cilantro and cumin. Any takers?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:10 PM

I'm ignoring you, Bill :-)

JennieG: G'day. I know you Aussies are great people--remind me of Canadians. What I don't know is what beans y'all eat.

BTW, have you escaped the fires this year?

BM

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:06 PM

So long as you don't descend to calling it a f***ing shovel.

When people say a friend or relative has "passed", meaning died, my lateral, trivial mind always leaps to thoughts of intestinal gas.

Fortunately, I have 50 years of practice in keeping my face straight.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 04:44 PM

999, your version is perhaps a little more genteel than mine.....in Oz we don't toot, we call a spade a spade and we fart.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 02:14 PM

Oooohhh.. I can't remember exactly when I first heard that one! I was 'maybe' 12?

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 02:05 PM

Fellow I know went to a farmer and asked for five pounds of kidley beans. The man said, "What?" He said, "I'd like five pounds of kidley beans." The farmer thought for a second and said, "You mean kidney beans, don't you?" My friend replied, "That's what I said, diddle I?"

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 01:39 PM

I know that the difference between fresh-picked beans and their reconstituted dried counterparts is roughly the same as the difference between fresh-picked corn-on-the-cob and a bowl of grits. The only thing they have in common is that they both came from the same plant. Fresh-picked beans are wondrous vegetables. But when those same beans are dried, they lose both their wonder and their vegetableness. They become merely food, in the most generic sense of the word. They'll keep you from starving. That's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 12:01 PM

Beans... I know that dragging 100lb. bags of 'em out of an enclosed semi's trailer and stackin' 'em on pallets in 100°F weather is not fun.(only had to do this twice)

I know that when gallon cans of pork & beans that were not properly cooked begin exploding in high stacks deep in a warehouse, one does not want to be near.... and after a few days, they smell 'interesting'.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 11:59 AM

17th century epigram

If one must die as oft as breath departs,
Then he must often die who often farts,
And if to die be but to lose one's breath,
Then death's a fart, so a fart for death.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 11:48 AM

Smoked haddock? BLASPHEMY says I!!! Breaded (NO wash) and fried in oil.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 11:14 AM

Charmion, I think that's it. I'm gonna keep my eyes open. If I can't get that I'll try it out with smoked cod. Merci bien beaucoup.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 10:23 AM

I know how many beans make five!

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 10:13 AM

Nine, that orange-coloured smoked fish you remember may be smoked haddock, known to many as Finnan Haddie.

My granny's recipe is much like your method: sauté an onion, add fish, add milk and a good grind of black pepper, poach very gently -- do not let the milk boil. Serve with boiled spuds.

Very, very Scots food.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 09:58 AM

Thank you, all.

Jennie, here's another that made the rounds when I was a kid. We thought it was the ultimate in wit and humour. Someone would start and all would join in:

Beans, beans, the musical fruit,
The more you eat the more you toot,
The more you toot the better you feel
So let's have beans for every meal.

Gnu, that's gotta be it. I haven't seen it on the shelves for a long time. I'm with you on the butter/marg, onion and potato.

Another kind of beans I like is refried. I've never been able to make my own. Just doesn't taste the same as El Paso, and I do like them. My love affair with beans started when I was living in a rooming house decades back. Canned beans were a food that could be eaten straight from the can. Only thing to wash was the spoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 09:45 AM

Maybe I'll post a few later today when I'm home with my cookbooks.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Charmion
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 07:01 AM

Hey, Nine --

I don't double that slow-cooker recipe because the capacity of the slow-cooker and our appetite for beans are both limited. It takes us several days to get through one batch, so I figure that's enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 05:08 AM

9... smoked cod. I like to bake mine in milk with some marg, thicken it into a white sauce and serve it on/with spuds. Diced yellow onion optional (I require it).

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 04:15 AM

Beans, beans, good for the heart,
The more you eat the more you fart,
The more you fart the better you feel......
So let's have beans for every meal!

I cannot claim credit for that gem, it was told to me many years ago and for some unknown reason has stuck in my brain.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 12:54 AM

I know not to put them in my ears.

Subject: RE: BS: Beans: what do you know?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 30 Dec 12 - 11:35 PM

Here's a fact of life: it is a waste of time to make chili for a choir. Nobody will eat it, because they are too worried that they will fart in close quarters.

Recently I had a brilliant idea for dealing with that. I served chili, but instead of the usual kind of beans, I put in French-cut green beans. It was very popular. I cook the beans in the microwave and add them to the chili close to the end of the cooking period.