BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 09:33 PM

Dear MAbby

Just a heads up fer anyone gowan ta Charley's Bday BBQ and bash tomorrow, BYOB... bring yer own burgers.

Safety First in Moncton

PS Ewwwwwww!

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 09:27 PM

Dear MCX Abby; ask full in Moncton if he ain't never learned how to shape hamburger patties by slapping a gob of burger under yer armpit?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 07:20 PM

Dear MAbby

My neighbours are "healthy". They eat lean turkey burgers and they use a K-Tel Patty Stacker to make sure the burgers are a consistant size. I buy family size packages of real cow burger and slap my meat into burgers by hand. By the time I am done on the barbie, slopped em with all sorts a yer accoutremounteds and sucked one back, I need a facecloth ta wash up. So, my question is, how do I keep these retards outta my yard when I am grillin?

Full in Moncton

PS Onion powder ain't worth shit on a burger so put Vidalias on yer list RFN! and put beer store as the LAST stop. Safety first, eh? Avoidin yer onion incident ain't no laffin manner.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 06:12 PM

No! It's fer twaddling me tomatoes. Geeze oh eh?! I use to use a makeup brush. Works better than the way I was taught to twaddle tomatoes. The old fashined way my old man taight me was to twaddle tomatoes with yer fingers. I figger I can tape the makeup brush on a vibrator and tape the vibrator to a stick and twaddle away at leisure. Easier on my back, too.

Get yer minds out of the gutter eh? It's full down here.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 01:19 PM

Last two guests twer Ed T.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 12:50 PM

Or, as they say up in New Brunswick - "whatever shakes your Azalea"

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 12:48 PM

Do I detect a bit of "Azalea envy" "fellas"?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 12:40 PM

Oh; I hadn't thought of that.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 11:19 AM

He wants it to knock the aphids off his azaleas.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 11:15 AM

And gnu...I try to keep an open mind, but... the thought of a male person who wants a vibrator kinda weirds me out...

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 07:08 AM

K... saw him on the Rainbow thread yesterday.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: kendall
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 06:36 AM

Hey, Dude, where are you?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 15 Aug 13 - 06:34 AM

My friends new beau is a stripper. Should he drop him, or just "swing with the crowd"?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 13 - 04:00 PM

guaranty? Is that like a warrantee?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 13 - 03:15 PM

Dear MAbby

The Exotic Boutique has a 50% off sale on used items. Is buying a second hand vibrator just asking for trouble even with a 30 day "satisfaction or your money back" guaranty? Batteries excluded, of course.

Lonely in Moncton

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Becca72
Date: 12 Aug 13 - 04:14 PM

Suzy,
LOVE it and feel the same way :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,Ed T, the spud
Date: 11 Aug 13 - 04:51 PM

She has nice eyes, is kinda stockyn with a few scabs - she could be a bit of a blight. I am concerned that she may attract potato bugs.

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 13 - 04:40 PM

Dear Ed T

Is she a hot potatoe? If so, yes. If not, drop her like a hot potatoe.

MAbby

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Aug 13 - 11:31 AM

Ed T; it's definitely time to say "Let's call the whole thing off".

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 11 Aug 13 - 09:11 AM

Dear Abby-Dude,
My new gal pronounces them things "potat- e- toes" and I say "potat-toes". Is there hope for the relationship?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Aug 13 - 09:05 AM

Dear Dude-Abby

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Aug 13 - 06:18 PM

Dear Oldude,

Simple. Keep the wiener dogs outside. But then you and the dogs would be unhappy, so let them inside and just suck it up--with a wet vac.

McAbby

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 10 Aug 13 - 10:22 AM

Dear mcAbby
how do you keep a wiener dog from peeing on your floor

signed
Puddles

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 13 - 06:48 AM

If this place had a Like button, I'd be clicking it a lot in this thread.

Suzy... priceless!

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: LadyJean
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 11:28 PM

Ok the deal with women and shoes is as follows. That incredibly cute dress probably doesn't come in your size, and if it does it will make you look hideous. Those incredibly cute shoes almost certainly do come in your size, and will look just as darling on size XL as they will on a size XS petite. Take it from a lady with a serious shoe habit.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 11:20 PM

gnu, I'll take a tomato. But I'll have to give it to my boyfriend because he loves 'em. My son and I feel differently and my son articulated it best when he said at the age of 3 and I quote, "Mama, I like tomato in ketchup and spaghetti, but not in person." That must be the cutest thing he ever said. I thought, "At last, a soul mate" :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: olddude
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 10:15 PM

Dear Kendall in Maine
my suggestion is to get a great bottle of wine and some expensive top end Lobster ...

Make a wonderful dinner .. then
drink the wine eat the lobster and find a great place to hide

signed
Abby

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 09:57 PM

Dear Abby
ya got a spare Hamilton 992B complete balance assembly. I need one for a restoration project .. got everything but ... how about it Abby ..

signed
outta time

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 07:43 PM

Lob 'em this way, Gary. We are paying $3.49 a pound for them. In the middle of summer, for pete's sake.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 07:19 PM

Dear Mabby

Ya want some tomatoes? Take a tomatoe. Here... take a tomatoe, eh? Ya gotta take a tomatoe. Take a f***in tomatoe! I got tomatoes up the ying yang. PLEEEASE take a tomatoe.

RIPE in Moncton

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: kendall
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 05:55 PM

da da dum dum dum...tick tock tic toc..DON'T LET HER GET ME Mr. Smee"!

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 04:20 PM

Mine do not crash, Ebbie... I are a injuneer. That pic is actually tame compared to some I have built. Hey, ya gotta wash dishes while the water is hot eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 03:59 PM

Your 'Kitchen Art', gnu, is an inspiration. I keep 'hearing' them all crash to the floor. Pure poetry.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 03:53 PM

Dear MAbby

The roaster still sits unwashed but I have hopes it will soon be clean as I have found a way to make dishwashing fun. I would like to share my tip with you and your faithful readers. It's called "Kitchen Art" and here is a visual demonstration.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/15565423@N05/9475120728/

Now, if THAT there doesn't wanna make ya do dishes, crack un autre et call a pizza eh le!

Bachinit in Moncton

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 03:39 PM

By all means add to the shoe collection. Eventually, will it to the Smithsonian.

This thought popped up when a recent news item from the Philippines said that the Imelda Marcos shoe collection would be featured in a special museum.
It seems that they realized that it would be a great advertisement for Philippine-made shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Becca72
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 12:16 PM

Uh oh, Dad...cue the scary music.

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 12:01 PM

Dear gnu, you are on the right track: If it is not needed any time soon one needn't wash a roast pan at all. Put it on your back stoop. Opossums, raccoons, skunks and chipmunks will do a superlative job on it. Bring it back inside in the fall after the weather cools.

M'Abby

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 12:00 PM

Dear Abby

I'm a bit concerned about my husband who seems, during my absence, to have developed a death wish. Since his every wish is my command what would you suggest?

The Keeper Of The Cellar

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Becca72
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 08:46 AM

LOL Gnu. Ok, for you I'll play along. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 13 - 07:15 AM

Dear MAbby

After cooking a roast of beef, how many weeks can the roasting pan be left unwashed? I have heard it should be washed ASAP but it's summer and I don't use the pan very often in hot weather.

Bachinit, Moncton

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Aug 13 - 07:14 PM

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 08 Aug 13 - 05:19 PM

Becca... your complicity is necessary for the thought to plicken. It can't be a tale of mystery without some nuance of sheer madness and unpredictability. And, who better to play that role? >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Becca72
Date: 08 Aug 13 - 10:51 AM

Hey, how did I get thrown into this?? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Aug 13 - 01:56 PM

No, no... I kinda like Kendall's idea... Plus, no matter how it turns out with jacqui, he'll have some new material for his next book which may very well be titled "No Guts, No Glory"...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 13 - 01:48 PM

Dear Kendall in Maine

She'll have the doc sign the papers, assume power of attorney, you will end up in a nursing home, and she and Becca will go on a shopping spree with your money.

Or, she will end up in jail on charges of assault with a deadly knitting needle.

Mull it over and let readers know what you decide. I really wanna see where this goes.

Mabby

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 13 - 09:50 AM

Try it and see... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: kendall
Date: 07 Aug 13 - 07:42 AM

My wife will be home from a month in England on Sunday. What would happen if I act like I don't remember her?

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 13 - 07:30 PM

Dearest Chongo

Read between the bananas.

Mabby

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 13 - 05:56 PM

Okay, Roger is right, Abeeee...

Just send me some seeds...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Dear Mudcat Abby Olddude Column
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Aug 13 - 05:52 PM

gnu - What ya gotta do is quite simple: hire a Chimp to hunt down this bozo and smack some sense into him. Chimps will work for either bananas or cash, and they get the job done.

- Chongo