BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland

Subject: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Bert
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 09:30 PM

1. The weather
2. Haggis
3. The language
4. The Loch Ness Monster
5. Hmmm, perhaps there aren't that many reasons after all. 'Cos the people are nice (even the Glaswegians)

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 09:35 PM

1) The sheep are only slightly more friendly than wolverines.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 11:28 PM

1. The men dress funny.
2. Fuadach nan Gàidheal.
3. Wild, rabid haggises.
4. All of the friendly sheep moved to Wales.
5. The movie "Braveheart."
6. Bonnie Prince Charlie the Current.
7. The match-up at Glencoe.
8. They all talk funny there.
9. Flodden's far field.
10. Moss-troopers!
11. Henry Stewart.
12. Kirk o' Field.
13. John Knox.
14. The Rough Wooing.
15. Sporrans.
16. The Old Course at St. Andrews.
17. What they do on the Old Course at St. Andrews.
18. Sir Walter Scott.
19. Bobby Burns.
20. William Dunbar.
21. The Kirk.
22. "Alfred, a Masque."
23. The Highlands.
24. The Lowlands.
25. The Scots are beguiled.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 06:11 AM

1-25. Going home.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 07:00 AM

T wrote this beautiful love song for Anita Manning, the auctioneer in BBC's Bargain Hunt. She never replied. For years I have fantasised about passionate Scottish women wearing heather scented Elle MacPherson lingerie - Moirs Stewart, Daniella Naedini and above all the beautiful Anita.......

https://soundcloud.com/denise_whittle/lovesong-for-anita-manning

Could it be they all flint heartedly reject my overtures....?

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 07:46 AM

Scotch pies, a joke that the Jocks play on the English, we once got one in a packed lunch whilst fishing the River Nith, I threw mine on the river bank, it was still there four days later, even the rats and birds wouldn't eat it.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Jim McLean
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 07:59 AM

Ah, Dave, I live in London and regularly order Scortch pies from Edinburgh. There's one in the oven right now!

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: akenaton
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 10:28 AM

She says " kin ye go a pie?...ah says AYE!!

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 10:49 AM

The mozzies always come to get me when i go to Scotland!!!

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 11:12 AM

How dare you Dave! Scotch pies are to die for. (and don't tell me that many do!) I left Scotland mainly because of the cold climate. My legs were getting hairier and hairier. My sis, who still lives up there, has even got quite a hairy face. Ghastly.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Jim McLean
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 11:13 AM

I don't think I've ever seen a "mozzie" in either Glasgow or Edinburgh, and by the way the pie was great, no gravy or potatoes, just a Scotch pie washed down with a couple of glasses of Merlot!

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 11:16 AM

Never saw mozzies in Edin or Glasgow either. Just rats. (during the Great Dustbin Strike) But Skye - crumbs, the mozzies were carrying Kalashnikovs.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 11:32 AM

The mozzies in Skye don't carry Kalashnikovs, they don't need to - have you seen the size of their f*****g teeth? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 12:57 PM

Al... love it! As usual.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 02:24 PM

Not so much mossies as midges. F'in great lowering black clouds of the fuckers, to small to swat, to fast to flee.

Scottish beer, for example McEwan's heavy.

Rain. The Scots think the winter the English have just had is a nice dry summer.

Gangs who thing "Razor King" is another word for the bible.

Puritanism.

The fucking Stuart kings foisted onto us as our James 1 (their James 6) and successors.

Mary Queen of Scots.

The tawse (unless you like that sort of thing).

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 03:00 PM

Them Scottish midges are clever buggers, once when fishing on Skye one summers evening, I smothered myself in Jungle Formula, my wife Moira sat in the car all the time with the windows shut tight, Moira got bitten to death and I never got bitten once, I even caught some fish.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 06:17 AM

One of the main reasons unionist politicians leave Scotland is to get their nose in a deeper trough than is available at home. Then there is the added bonus, if they play their cards right, of elevation to that most undemocratic of places 'The House of Lords' where for a mere sighning of their names they can daily draw £300 plus exorbitant expenses.
Go to it ye downtrodden and disadvantaged and keep voting for these parasites to keep them in the manner to which they have become acustomed too.
Ask 'flipper' Darling, he who changed his main residence four times in order to fleece the taxpayer, why you should vote NO in the coming Scottish referendum, if for nothing else, if truth be told, than to gain him an ermine robe and all the associated perks. A YES vote will of course scupper his plans and that of his cohorts.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Jim McLean
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 07:07 AM

I wrote this in 1964 and nothing has changed.
Melody: I' m off to Dublin in the green AKA The Merry Ploughboy.




I am a Scottish MP
From a city grey and black,
So I'll shut my mouth when I'm in the south
Just in case they send me back.

Now some folks work for Labour
And some for the Tory class,
But I work like hell for me myself
And the rest can kiss my kilt.

Chorus: For I'm off to London in the morn, in the morn,
In Westminster I will be,
And I'll leave behind my brains and mind
And try for an MBE.

Oh Scotland, dearest Scotland
You have given me your trust,
And if I make the grade to the Board of Trade
Just guess who I'll trade first ?

I'll trade the Lowlands for a peerage
Give me an Earldom for the Isles,
And the whole damn lot could be easily bought
With one of Lizzie's smiles.

I am a Scots Home-Ruler
At my English Queen's command,
For my real birth-right is to be a knight
And the rest can be Republicans.

So come Grimmond, Home and Ramsey
Our Scottish Englishman,
Nationality for a Scots MP
Means tea at Number Ten.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,gutcher
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 07:41 AM

Guest at 6-17am was I.
For those who do not know, Mr Darling is in an unholy alliance with the Conservatives and is in charge of securing a NO vote in the referendum in Scotland. Conservatives in Scotland having only one MP at Westminster.
Would you buy a second hand car, let alone trust the fate of your country, to a person with his proven record of legalized theft from the public purse and from an organization which deems him a suitable person to front their efforts to gain their nefarious ends.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: kendall
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 09:34 AM

How about a list of reasons to stay? There must be at least 50.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: John J
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 03:23 PM

Windfarms
Midges
Windfarms
Ticks
Windfarms

JJ

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 05:32 PM

Right now, and I'll say it 25 times over to make up my 25 reasons...folk who plaster their pro- or anti- independence views across every forum, social network or website going, and who label anyone who has a different view from theirs a "sh#te" or an "erseh&le": they do their cause no good at all.

Oh, and we do indeed get midges in Edinburgh! On the rare occasion that it's warm enough to sit out in the garden on a "summer" evening, we'll be pretty soon driven back indoors by the wee monsters.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: akenaton
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 06:37 PM

Hey Tattie, whit ur yoo daein oan here?
This place is worst thin Stompin'...is it shut fir the Sabbith or whit???

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 08:18 PM

26. When a Scot moves to England, it raises the average of intelligence in both countries.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Jim McLean
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 04:43 AM

If today's Financial Times is anything to go by, you'd be better off financially by staying in Scotland.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,gutcher
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 04:47 AM

T.B.    I see no harm in letting folk know the truth on any forum having the most tenuous connection to the important subject of the referendum. As regards bad language on a forum I plead guilty to having once used the "f" word in a direct quote from McTaggart, the subject of that forum being the fact that the "hero" "Titus" Oates fathered a child on a 12 year old girl.

Even one of Mr. Darlings conservative colleagues on the No campaign let the mask slip when he showed the contempt Darling is held in on all sides by referring to him as "flipper" Darling in public.

Anent ticks, as far as I am aware they do not attach themselves to homo-sapiens--sheep, dogs and cats being favourite targets.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 04:54 AM

Ake, I've been a Catter langer than a Stomper! Jist use the same name on baith. First posted here in Oct 2000.

Gutcher, respect your views. Shan't call you names.
Humans can and do get bitten by ticks: just look up Lyme Disease: potentially very serious.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 05:00 AM

Ticks most certainly do attach themselves to Homo sapiens.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 05:19 AM

So Laurence Oates had the nickname "Titus"?

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: doc.tom
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 05:29 AM

How come only the Scots get to vote on whether Scotland should leave the Union?

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: akenaton
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 05:33 AM

Ticks are pretty rare in the west of Scotland these days...we used to call them "sheep ticks" when we were kids and we were always picking them off ourselves.
Most of the sheep have gone now and the ticks seem to have gone with them.......maybe children's habits have changed regarding play, we were out all day exploring the burns and moorland, making "dens" and thatching them with dry grass.
Now weans prefer to get their excitement from video war games. :0(

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 05:48 AM

Ticks are also found on deer, so there are probably some in Scotland even without the ticks.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 05:49 AM

. . . I meant even without the sheep.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,gutcher
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 06:16 AM

I bow to the superior knowledge of previous posters--all I can say is that in near 8o years in the country I have never yet met anyone who has had a blood sucking tic attached to them, consultations will be held with a wheen lifelong ootbye herds who have had extensive pratical knowlege of sheep and tics. I seem to recollect that armchair critics have in the past denied that foxes kill lambs, just a thought.

Now take clegs,they certainly are expert blood suckers although I must say that its many's the long day since I personally played host to one.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Brian Peters
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 06:32 AM

"the people are nice (even the Glaswegians)"

Especially the Glaswegians.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 06:33 AM

tics are nasty, they have a special little tool in A and E for extracting them.

talking of little tools.....

Have you ever read Forum, the magazine for things related to sex. There was once this story about a boy scout (a rover) who went commando style wearing his kilt to the continent on holiday. Anyway he went all through France and Germay satisfying the curiosity of everyone he met as to what is worn under the kilt.

When he returned home he found he had developed a yearning to flash hither and thus, accordingly he hung around in windy places, glass sided lifts, and places with long steep staircases. And now he was addicted to flashing.

This sad cautionary tale has stuck with me longer then the tale of many Scottish folk tales and preambles to ballads that Ewan MacColl used to regale us with. Just goes to show - you can't control what excites your imagination.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Jim McLean
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 06:53 AM

Doc.Tom, it's called self determination, only the people living and paying taxes in Scotland can vote, irrespective of nationality. Can you imagine how Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia would have fared if all of Russia had a say in their independence?

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 01:18 PM

Can't think of a single reason to leave.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 01:45 PM

In my last house, many deer visited my huge garden. (Not in Scotland, but 'bear with me', as they say) I often had ticks attached to my legs, which I merely pulled off. Then, I got a typical 'bullseye' inflammation and fled to my GP. He quickly prescribed antibiotics, telling me that in Norfolk, Lyme disease from deer ticks is endemic. Luckily, blood tests after the event were negative and I heaved a sigh of relief. There were never any sheep in my garden. My sis (the doc) told me that the red deer up there carry ticks with Lyme disease.
Another reason to leave Scotland and live in Norfolk are things called Hills, and Mountains. I like it Flat, thank you!

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: akenaton
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 04:21 PM

In my youth deer were uncommon in these parts, the Forestry Commission keepers culled them to protect the young trees; subsequently the deer kept to the high tops even in winter.
The sheep ticks would grow to about the size of ones finger nail if left in position....working dogs always had a few.

There is nothing I don't like about Scotland, we still have a national identity, against all the odds, beautiful scenery, a varied climate and best of all a scurrilous, double dealing, parasitical "Auld Enemy", who have become so fond of our haggis and whiskey, that they just can't bear to live without us!
Dream on Sassenachs!!

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Bert
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 04:48 PM

...Especially the Glaswegians...

I stand corrected Brian.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 05:58 PM

Whisky - no e - shame on you Ake (says she in Dublin richt noo, where it dis hae an e!)

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: John J
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 06:05 PM

Scotland is a wonderful place, I backpack through the Highlands every May - just before the midges get seriously active. Sadly, the deer ticks are very active - especially in the west / central Highlands.

JJ

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: akenaton
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 06:15 PM

Ah'm teetotal mahsell noo Tattie, so ah widnae know...:0)

Dublin's rerr, ah wis oan holiday therr in 1965, went tae O'Donohues an aw the venues tae hear wit thae ca'ed "the ballads"
Hope yer enjoyin' yersell.....wish ah wis therr fur the terr.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,gutcher
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 06:30 AM

One of my sisters mentioned a recent conversation she had with her son-inlaw, a Southener, who drives weekly in his homeland and he claims that he cannot return there to live as he could not afford the cost.
He dreads a no vote in the coming referendum as he reckons Westminster will put the boot in and reduce us to the level of his not so beloved homeland.
His is a view shared by many of my English friends living here.

For bile and racist comments T.B. should read the forums attached to any article on Scotland printed in the English press, these I now no longer read but I am sure J. McL. can confirm that if they were refering to any other ethnic group the race relations board would find themselves working overtime.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Jim McLean
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 07:25 AM

Yes, Gutcher, for example in Sunday's Observer Will Hutton first called the SNP the Scottish Nationalist Party, not the Scottish National Party and writes "...... along with its purported high values, bubbles some atavistic and unloved hatred of its southern neighbours."
It has been observed elsewhere that this campaign for Scottish Independence has been carried out without even a bottle being thrown, no hatred, in fact there are many Englishmen and women living in Scotland who say they will vote for Independence, underlining Guther's post.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 07:41 AM

"How come only the Scots get to vote on whether Scotland should leave the Union?"       ????????????????
This seems very unfair and un-democratic! The English and Welsh should have every right to vote themselves out of the Union as well!

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 07:42 AM

Just so long as a reason to leave Scotland doesn't become because you work for BP eh? (Not to mention silicon glen.)

I love haggis. I don't mind grease pies occasionally and shortbread isn't that bad either.

No, the food wouldn't be a reason to leave. (Last year, dined in three Michelin starred restaurants in as many nights.).

I don't like being bit, so arrange walking holidays to avoid them. Friend in Fife don't get to see us during winter either. Back in the '80s I ran a depot in Airdrie for a while and lived in a hotel four nights a week in Stirling. I was rather sad to leave and even considered taking the manager job there and giving someone a stab at my own national job. Glad I didn't because once the steel and precast industry started dying off, the company (I'd moved on by then) dropped their presence in Scotland.

In Edinburgh next week actually. (Assuming I can leave France. We are getting good snow here in Tignes and the roads down the valley.....)

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 08:08 AM

Whilst I'm at it. One thing the SNP led government is putting right is today's final debate which will result in equal access to marrying your loved one.

Welcome to civilisation my tartan admiring neighbours.

Subject: RE: BS: 25 reasons to leave Scotland
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 09:32 AM

I do like all the tartans. Mine is a very nice dark green and black affair. But the tartan thing can go too far. Not a reason to leave, but a bit irritating, for example Balmoral; tartan curtains, sofas, wallpaper, carpets, cushions etc etc ad nausea. My Scots friends up there used to moan that we English stereotype them as tartan-kilt-wearing funny-speaking bagpipe-playing haggis-eating people, but they ARE like that. They brandish their Scottishness at visitors like anything.