BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??

Subject: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Claire M
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 06:49 AM

Hiya,

I got given a ton, by someone who doesn't want them back. Mostly they talk of a person's attitude causing w/e they may have wrong w/ them. 1 was all about being happy whether you get what you want/need. There are some things I/flatmates need, & not having w/e it is = me/us being very ill/worse !

1 said "do not face reality unless it's 1 *you want to create*; *look around * less, *imagine* more" (= living in a dream world). I was horrified.

I don't like the idea of a lot of my flatmates picking this up.

Have you had any experience of SH books?? What did you think?? What do you suggest I do w/ mine ?? (try & keep it clean!)

.¸¸.●*(♥♫(♥♪(♥♫♫♥)♪♥)♫♥)*●.¸¸.☮

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: redhorse
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 07:05 AM

I think "..... by someone who doesn't want them back" may give a pointer to their value :-).

Sounds to me like you know more about what you need than the authors.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Wesley S
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 09:21 AM

I don't think they will do any good unless the person buys them for themselves. That shows some desire to read the book in the first place. SH books that are given to another person are just lectures.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 10:09 AM

There really isn't a yes or no answer to your Question, Claire.

I agree in part with what Wesley posted.

A self help book or workbook can be a very useful tool, provided one knows what one is really wanting some help with. Not all SH books are created equal. Also, there are many different paths that can lead to the same destination, and a book whose approach makes good sense and resonates with one person, may not be at all useful to another person who is seeking help or healing for similar issues.

"One Size" definitely does not fit all.

And some people simply don't find any self-help books useful for any number of reasons.

If this person gave these books to you for your use, and you find them appalling, then chuck them in the recycle bin or trash, or donate them to a library or charity shop that sells used books to raise funds. If these books were all purchased by the same person originally as that person was seeking ways to deal with issues, then it is likely they all use a similar approach or philosophy that appealed to/made sense/worked for that person. It doesn't necessarily follow that they would be useful or empowering to you, or applicable to your life and circumstances.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 02:01 PM

Most SH are thus named because their authors help themselves to their victims' money. Even good books are only good for readers who already know that the kind of advice given is the one they need. What the other posters said.

If you are asking us about the value of "positive thinking": whenever it is preached as an imperative, it has already gone wrong. If we adopted that ideology, we would probably feel that our failure to ignore our failures just adds a new one to our perceived failures.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Charmion
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 02:28 PM

My favourite self-help book is The Joy of Cooking. It teaches you how to do useful things using tested methods that really work when you follow the well-written instructions.

I have never seen a book offering advice on how to change my life that came close to meeting that standard.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 02:51 PM

Look at it this way

"Are Self-Help Books good Good or Bad?"

would probably work as a title of a self help book. The best way, almost always, is to do your own research to solve your own problems.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 06:09 PM

Jack said - The best way, almost always, is to do your own research to solve your own problems.

I'd add "and buy a book (or more) if YOU believe it/they will help your personal needs"

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 07:52 PM

I have never bought one. But, I have leafed through a few, free, at a variety of locations. I don't recall the books revealing much new. But, the authors did have a more colourful way of presenting it.

I stayed overnight at a friends house recently, and slept in the former bedroom of one of their now married daughters. On the bookshelf there were a dozen, or so, "chicken soup" self help books lined up. I was amazed that the series covered so many topics.Someone must'a made a bundle on that bunch.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 08:31 PM

I agree that mostly they're "self help" for the author's pockets.

If I'm feeling down or looking for some positivity, I'd rather read a book like Jamie Andrew's "Life and Limb". He's a climber who lost both lower legs and both hands below the elbow to frostbite when trapped in a storm. He's also an acquainatance. He still climbs, skis and snowboards and has run the London Marathon on his prostheses.

He's just the most matter-of-fact "it's happened so let's deal with it" guy and I find more inspiration in re-reading his story than in any number of "self help" books. I can never stay feeling sorry for myself for long when I dip into it:


Life and Limb

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 10:00 PM

Sounds like "Life and Limb" was a good choice for a self help book for you Rob.

"Self Help" literature covers a broad range of books, as can be seen when one peruses the books on the shelves under that category at any large bookstore. Many books that I consider can fit into the self help genre also fit in other categories, including books on philosophy, books that educate about relationships, family systems theory, meditation and/or mindfulness, relaxation, books geared to the lay person on advances in understanding of neuropsychosocial development, trauma recovery from physical or sexual abuse, coping with pain, loss, illness or disability, death and dying, suicide prevention, inspirational literature, workbooks that offer exercises for journalling, or other exercises to help people who choose a journey toward increased self-awareness, exploration of the paradigms through which they experience their lives and possible alternative paradigms, can be helpful to some people.

Cognitive-behavioral workbooks that address depression, panic attacks and other anxiety disorders are useful to many people, and can save them some big bucks in terms of psychiatry, psychotherapy and medication bills. Not effective for everyone, but very useful to a significant number of people. I don't know how effective such books, if used, are for folks who never seek out a therapist or psychiatrist, but I do know that there is a subset of the population of folks who have clinical depression or several of the anxiety disorders who find such Cognitive Behavioral workbooks very useful as an adjunct to therapy or medication, and whose course of therapy can be much shorter than it might otherwise be.

I will say that any book that tells one what they "should" think or feel, or that a reader experiences or interprets as "blaming" the reader is not a good choice for that person, at the very least.

I suspect on this thread, we don't have a uniform definition of "self help" books.

Claire, this is your thread as the op. What is your definition of a Self Help book?

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: GUEST,Troubadour
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 12:07 PM

I asked the local librarian where I'd find the "Self Help" books.

She refused to tell me, saying that doing so would defeat the object of the exercise.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 12:37 PM

LOL Troubadour! I was just going to say that our local public library has a good selection of SH books. I've found them handy over the years.
I liked 'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway' (Susan Jeffries), 'Women Who Love Too Much' (Robin Norwood) and various ones about reducing stress, eating healthily, conquering shyness etc, and I like Sherry Argov 'Why Men Love Bitches' (extremely funny and morale-boosting) I've always tried to grow and advance in my personal journey through life, and these types of books can at least give one ideas and insights. But I'd never hand a load of them to someone else; it's a personal thing, and everyone has to seek for him/herself.

Subject: RE: BS: Self-Help Books -- Good/Bad ??
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 04:47 AM

I like them and I've bought quite a few. I think however it's important not to believe that they're some kind of panacea or magic cure all for all your ills. And definitely junk anything which you smell is just plain wrong for you.

No one book has ever transformed my life. But I have adopted a variety of small strategies from here and there, which have improved it - or probably more accurately helped me to deal with it.

As a rule of thumb, if I come away from a book with one genuinely useful idea, I think of my money as being well spent.