BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks

Subject: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Musket
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:28 PM

If a thread on religion and evolution can bring two subjects together that are bugger all to do with each other, I can start one comparing the attributes of toast and aardvarks.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:33 PM

You've never experienced aardvark liver pate on toast points? Come now.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:33 PM

No aardvark *I* ever saw asked for toast!
QED

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Musket
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:36 PM

The only way to see an aardvark toast is to let Dan shoot the bugger..

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:39 PM

Well you can choke on a piece of toast but aardvark never hurt anyone.

RtS
(I'll get me coat)

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:39 PM

"bugger all to do with each other"

I am not comparing attributes, I am noting the obvious relevance of the claims of each when discussing what to believe....but you knew that.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: olddude
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:40 PM

Lol don't you know it is not in season.. But ant eater burgers yes

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:57 PM

a toast ???

all raise glasses..

"Come and have a go if you think you`re aardvark enough"

well.. are you ???

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Musket
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 12:57 PM

Of course I knew that Bill. There is a slightly serious point I suppose. Perpetuating the two subjects as interlinked in some way just encourages the rather hilarious if there wasn't a serious problem with it, Christian science waffle.

If people want to praise evolution as part of a God tapestry then fine, but you know full well they don't, because the timelines required show young earth creationists to be deranged fools.

If anyone wants to use this thread to poke fun at delusion by the way, be my guest and keep the other thread for what it hoped to be serious discussion.... The moderators might try to distinguish between a pail and a pale, but I reside beyond it anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 01:01 PM

" pail and a pale"

both pronounced 'pile' to confuse Americans? ;>)

Now the Aussies will be on my case...

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 01:02 PM

Serious discussion?
To echo Roger, I'll get my coat-.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 01:30 PM

The aardvark is the only living representative of an entire order of animals, the Tubulidentata.The order contains only one family, Orycteropodidae, of which the aardvark (Orycteropus afer) is the only living species.The fossils record for the Tubulidentata dates back to the Eocene (55-34 million years ago). In the Miocene (24-5 million years ago) Tubulidentata showed its widest distribution and greatest diversity, with 6 Euroasian and 5 African species of Orycteropus existing at this time. However, by the Pleistocene Orycteropus was limited to Africa and today the aardvark is the only remaining species and has been present in Algeria since the late Pleistocene (2 million to 10,000 years ago) until the present time.

Before mudfolks run off with "ants in their pants, a good question may be "could the disvussion be several Aardvarks short of an aarmory"?

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: gnu
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 02:13 PM

Pretentious creatures! TWO vowels? Aa? Grandstanders! How utterly self-serving! Yeah, right. Big claim to fame is they eat ants. ANTS! WTF would eat ants foe notoriety? I see it as a cry for aattention.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: olddude
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 02:57 PM

I rather have plat-a-pussy

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 03:27 PM

""Big claim to fame is they eat ants. ANTS! ""

Seems like an environmentally friendly alternative to Raid, or Ant-off.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: gnu
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 03:29 PM

Now THERE is a proper mutation. Well deserving of it's name. Platypus. Platitude? Nay, nay I say. I say reverse accolade. Now, yer platipussy up against yer aardvark? Aardvark hands down UNLESS the puss lures the vark into the water. Then, game over. Pussy rules in the pools, man. Vark be like 'glub, glub, glub'.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 04:23 PM

Well there is no connection between aardvarks and toast however I have heard of hummingbird tongue pate on toast as being one of the most expensive canapé due to the enormous number of hummingbirds that this treat requires.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 04:31 PM

If you smoke weed once, they don't call you a stoner,

If you drive a truck once, they don't call you a trucker,

But, if you eat one little ant, and what do they call you?*

An ant-eater!

*for those who know the actual saying:)

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: olddude
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 04:33 PM

They taste like peppermint

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Musket
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 06:05 PM

Considering what Ed's joke is really about, Dan's answer is rather interesting ...

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 06:13 PM

Smoked aardvark tongue...delicious.

Toast...precedes the aardvark tongue.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: GUEST,Triplane
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 07:13 PM

An Aberdonian went into a bar and asked for the menu
The barman told him that the special for the day was a ploughmans lunch
ie a pie a pint and half an hour upstairs with the barmaid.

To which he replied " Who's pies are they"

In a similar vein I would like to know what kind of toast are u referring to?

Aardvarks on Mudcat are Gnus to me .... my eyesight is not what it used to be

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 07:26 PM

Aardvark Foie Gras spread, on toast, with sherry- magic 'shroom sauce on the side.

Gourmet, all inclusive, luxury!
Fit for any aunt, or aunt eater..

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: olddude
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 07:35 PM

musket ...what you know my aunt also lol

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: gnu
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 07:55 PM

Peppermint Patty?

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: olddude
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 10:08 PM

Yes you got it

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: LadyJean
Date: 29 Aug 14 - 12:39 AM

Let's not forget Alan Sherman's Large Dark Aardvark Song.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 29 Aug 14 - 12:10 PM

So gnu thinks the aardvark is pretentious because it has two A's.

What then of the two kinds of lava in Hawaii, aa and pahoehoe? Not just two A's, but two HOE's.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: gnu
Date: 29 Aug 14 - 03:41 PM

Ahoes? In hindsight, I may have been mistaken.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Aug 14 - 06:24 PM

Not to mention aardwolves, llamas and Hoovers....

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: GUEST,DrWord
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 12:14 AM

earth pig | aard vark | ground hog |
Today's special:
       Thread on toast
aaditional toppings aavailable



keep on pickin'
dennis

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 07:46 AM

Cucumis humofructus:

""Aardvarks are technically carnivores and prefer a strict diet of ants and termites, however they also eat the world's only known underground fruit -bearing cucumber, known as the aardvark cucumber. The cucumber and the aardvark have a symbiotic relationship and chances are neither would exist without the other. Aardvarks eat the fruit for its water content and propagate the seeds through their feces, which are then buried by the animals. Due to the depth of the fruit, the seeds are unable to germinate without assistance, and completely rely on aardvarks to uncover the fruit. ""

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Janie
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 02:54 PM

Inspired by you folks, have had toast spread with peanut butter and ants laying out in my yard for two days.

The birds like it. No aardvarks have appeared thus far. The many ants (none of them fire ants, thankfully)nesting in my environs are enjoying the peanut butter and their dead brethren. Don't seem to be too interested in the toast - they don't like whole wheat products mebbe?

It is a long journey for aardvarks from their habitat to my yard in North Carolina. Also, I don't live in a town on the major Bus routes. I figure there are aardvarks getting of the bus in Durham or Greensboro, even as I type, word having spread of the smorgasboard I have laid out for them. I'll keep you posted, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 03:23 PM

Permits for passports for 4 legged animals are being consider in reverse alphabetical order until the committee meets again.....so be vigilant for zebras, wombats and unicorns, Janie.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Janie
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 03:40 PM

Local news is reporting there are an unusual number of exotic creatures lining the downtown entrance ramps to I-40 West in south Durham, thumbs out, some holding signs reading "Mebane or Bust." According to anonymous sources who are not authorized to speak on the record, some of them sport long noses and even longer tongues, and a few have curious-looking appendages sprouting from their foreheads.

Party tonight!

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 04:52 PM

Send news crews down there! Facebook NEEDS more fascinating pics & videos. to 'share'.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: gnu
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 07:50 PM

I don't wanna break the banter but, this was/is Mudcat BS at it's finest. I can't help but think of Spaw and others, gone and still with us, who would revel in such laudible banter. Bravo. Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 08:16 PM

""How many farts could an Aardvark fart if and aardvark could fart farts?""

I found this question on Yahoo asswers, without any actual answers.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: olddude
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 08:35 PM

I don't know ed but spaw would have beat him.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Don Firth
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 09:03 PM

Aardvarks beginning with two "a"s may seem pretentious, but it got 'em top billing in the dictionary!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 09:12 PM

But, does the double ""aa"" give them special seating at AA meetings, and discounts at AAA?

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: GUEST,DrWord
Date: 30 Aug 14 - 09:26 PM

what gnu said
can't help but think of Spaw ... such laudible banter.


keep on pickin' . . .
dennis

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Aug 14 - 12:42 AM

There is a new organization... AAA/AA.. for people who are being driven to drink.

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Janie
Date: 31 Aug 14 - 01:06 AM

QuintA, for those who drink and don't drive. Offers for various insurances coming to your mailbox soon!

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Don Firth
Date: 31 Aug 14 - 04:35 PM

Okay, lemme make sure I got this straight.

If aardvark = "earth pig" = groundhog, does that mean that if an aardvark crawls out of its hole on February 2nd and sees his shadow, we'll have six more weeks of winter?

Inquiring minds want to know....

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 31 Aug 14 - 05:31 PM

I don't think aardvarks live in holes. Don't they hang upside down from the branches of tall trees?

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Aug 14 - 05:38 PM

naawwww... those are aardsloths!

Subject: RE: BS: Special thread on toast and aardvarks
From: Don Firth
Date: 31 Aug 14 - 08:05 PM

Those are sloths. Not unlike some humans.

"Hey, man, whaddayah doin'?"

"Nothin'. Jus' hangin' around...."

Don Firth