BS: I have all the answers

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 09:59 AM

Not a good day to have asked that question, Donuel...but as you asked, 42 incidents, with 24 dead. In Europe, to be fair in terms of scale, 1.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Don Firth
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 01:28 AM

Uh . . . what was the question?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 05:53 PM

How many assholes are there?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 05:46 PM

Since Sandy Hook, an anniversary Mudcat may have missed , there have been how many school shootings?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 05:35 PM

How big is an inch worm

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 05:26 PM

Lite? I'd rather be fat than sober.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 04:17 PM

"People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot."Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 02:25 PM

The answer is within (early inspiration for Yoko Ono):

The answer inside 

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 02:22 PM

How many answers are there?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 09:48 AM

Gazunders for sale, for use by Liberal peeers.

Labour peeers need to visit their GPs for a little check.

Conservative peeers need to drink more.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 09:34 PM

Before monsters go to sleep, they look under their beds to make sure there are no librarians there.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 07:04 PM

"Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness."

Kentucky Fried Movie

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 07:02 PM

Bye bye birdie

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 06:33 PM

"" According to Gallop Polls: 1 in 12 Americans is unaware that the Bird is the Word. ""

Peter Griffin

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: GUEST,Pheasant Plucker
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 06:28 PM

A bird in the hand craps on your wrist.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 05:01 PM

"" You gotta learn to stand on your own feet, boy. I may not always be around to help ya.
Boy's got a mouth like a cannon, always shootin' it off. ""

Foghorn Leghorn

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 04:55 PM

A bird in your hand is better than Eva perons bush

Been around long enough to personally experience the difference, have ya, Olddude?

Was it George jr. Or Senior?

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 04:23 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6pQcpFnXOI

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 03:51 PM

A bird in your hand is better than Eva perons bush

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 03:01 PM

Did you order the Original Recipe or Extra Crispy? 

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 02:45 PM

A bird in the hand is worth a rabbit in an easter basketball

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 02:27 PM

""I'm a fucking bird, Not a goddamn engineer! Fuck it, I'll put a band-aid on it! Band-aids always fix stupid!"

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 02:22 PM

If a hen and a half could lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a cross-eyed grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 02:06 PM

"Do you know how fucking hard it is for penguins to craft shit with flippers?"

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 01:54 PM

An answer from an old friend
Jarool

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 12:55 PM

Did you get a Christmas goose, in your oldplace?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 12:53 PM

Where's the best place to buy a turkey, Turkey?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 11:58 AM

"At 9:52AM? You start early!"

Or, ends late;)

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 10:20 AM

At 9:52AM? You start early!

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 09:52 AM

Almost

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 07:55 AM

Have we reached the tipping point?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: GUEST,Mr Red (raw)
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 06:15 AM

If you have all the answers - don't give 'em to me.
The last one isn't cleared up yet.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 07:03 PM

I'm just back from applying oxalic acid to our hives to keep the varroa down - they said one of the girls was off on a mission...are bees Nature's suicide bombers?

    Then we'll sing, we'll sing,
    We'll sing of Lydia Pinkham,
    Savior of the human race.
    How she makes, she bottles,
    She sells her vegetable compound,
    And the papers publish her face.

Widow Brown, she had no children,
Though she loved them very dear,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now she has them twice a year.

Willie Smith had peritonitis,
And he couldn't piss at all,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now he's a human waterfall.

Mrs. Jones had rotten kidneys;
Poor old lady couldn't pee,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now they pipe her out to sea.

Geraldine, she had no breastworks,
And she couldn't fill her blouse,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled,
Some vegetable compound,
And now they milk her with the cows.

Arthur White had been castrated
And had not a single nut,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now they hang all 'round his butt.

Billy Black lacked hair on his balls,
And his pecker wouldn't peck,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
Now it's as long as a gy-raffe's neck.

Or as more recently adapted, with a Seasonal Ending:

Here's a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sad,
Of Lily the Pink and her medicinal compound,
And how it slowly drove her to the bad.

Meet Ebenezer, thought he was Julius Caesar.
So they put him in a home.
And then they gave him medicinal compound,
And now he's Emporer of Rome.

    We'll drink a drink a drink
    To Lily the pink the pink the pink
    The savior of [the savior of] the human race.
    She invented medicinal compound.
    Most efficacious in every case.

Meet Johnny Hammer had a t-t-terrible s-s-stammer.
He could b-barely say a word.
So they gave him medicinal compound,
And now he's seen, but never heard.

And Freddie Clinger, the opera singer,
Who could break glasses with his voice they said.
So on his tonsils he rubbed medicinal compound,
And now they break glasses over his head.

And Mr. Frears, who had sticky out ears.
And it made him awful shy.
So they gave him medicinal compound,
And now he's learning how to fly.

And Uncle Paul, he was very small. He
Was the shortest man in town.
So on his body he rubbed medicinal compound,
And now he's six foot, but it's underground.

Lily died and went up to heaven.
Oh, the church bells they did ring.
She took with her medicinal compound.
Hark the herald angels sing.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 10:18 PM

The answer is whatever I say it is. If you don't like, get off of my planet, out of my solar system, scram from my galaxy, and leave my universe.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 08:31 PM

My wife went golfing she said she got stung by a bee, I said where hon.. She said between the first and second hole.. I said your stance is way too wide

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 08:26 PM

""Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me."" (Gran Torino)

Remember that, Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 08:12 PM

Answer cause I hear banjo music
So what is the question... Hike faster?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: olddude
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 08:11 PM

Answer to all problems C4

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 06:30 PM

Yer a sad case, Ed. It's either arrested development or 2nd childhood, I figger. Don't make me hafta beat yer fool head in, okay?

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 06:04 PM

Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?
- No, Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 06:00 PM

""Watch your language, lady.""

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 05:51 PM

You can't HANDLE the answers, Ed!

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: gnu
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 05:08 PM

"On a $2.00 wager you could win $56.80"

Will my pics win or will one game be won by a field goal and fuck it all up like last week and the week before and the week before and...? You had better get back to me soon because I only bet $2. If I am gonna win, I wanna bet the farm and Bessie too.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 04:49 PM

""A pig's orgasm continues for 30 minutes. You might want to doublecheck this!""

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 04:45 PM

Answer:
Months, starting on Sunday, will always have a Friday the 13th.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 04:44 PM

That is so sad...

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 04:37 PM

""What do men do after an orgasm? 1% do it for the second time 1% Go to eat 1% Fall Asleep 97% Clear History""

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 04:25 PM

Two wolves go for a walk. One of them asks: let me walk in the middle.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 04:17 PM

Yes, I think so.

Subject: RE: BS: I have all the answers
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 03:51 PM

If you, Olddude and Chongo have all the answers, there must be quite a few copies around.