BS: Chair Isn't Christian

Subject: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Raggytash
Date: 25 May 15 - 09:43 AM

Lets see what the mods make of this.

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Raggytash
Date: 25 May 15 - 09:44 AM

Apologies, this should be in the BS section

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,#
Date: 25 May 15 - 09:47 AM

Norms change from time to time.

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 May 15 - 10:15 AM

None of my chairs are christians, I think one of my tables could be, the washing machine is a bastard, it turns my T shirts inside out, definately not a christian.

Dave H

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Bill D
Date: 25 May 15 - 10:31 AM

Raggytash... why create a fake issue? You are only stirring the pot to lure trouble...

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Teribus
Date: 25 May 15 - 10:37 AM

It's what they do

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Jeri
Date: 25 May 15 - 11:08 AM

It's not Neil Diamond's chair is it? That sumbitch is just anti-social.

Dave, if you turn your shirts inside out before you put them in the washer, will it turn them inside in for you?

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 25 May 15 - 11:23 AM

Clint Eastwood's chair is Christian......at least it purports to be.

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 May 15 - 12:33 PM

The article that Guest# linked to talks about how congregations for more than a thousand years had to stand during their services, that chairs and pews came along much later.

In the Russian Orthodox church, except for those old or ailing, there are no seats. The one in Juneau, Alaska is small and round. If people stood cheek-to-jowl one could get a lot more people in there than one could with benches.

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 25 May 15 - 01:12 PM

If I whittled the tip off one chair leg would it be quarter jewish [ like me...]... 😜

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Will Fly
Date: 25 May 15 - 01:35 PM

Ah - another take on Groucho's joke letter to a snobbish Hollywood swimming club which wouldn't allow his son as a member because he was Jewish.

Groucho wrote, "Actually he's only half-Jewish - so can he go in up to his waist?"

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 May 15 - 02:48 PM

It's no good Jeri, if I put them in inside out it leaves them that way.

It's just an awkward non christian bastard.

Dave H

Subject: RE: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Don Firth
Date: 25 May 15 - 03:09 PM

All of our chairs are agnostic, but I'm a little suspicious of our coffee table....

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 May 15 - 06:44 PM

The first time I went to Rome (1999), I was taken aback by the sight of beautiful basilicas with walls lined with sky-high stacks of chairs with plastic seats and shiny metal legs. I didn't notice the tacky chairs on my most recent there, in 2012. Maybe they put somebody with better taste in charge of the basilicas - or they built closets, or something....

So, is that the chair you're talking about, Raggytash?

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Musket
Date: 25 May 15 - 06:50 PM

Hey Joe? Any comment on the fact all the Musket posts, none of which were anything different to others on here have been deleted?

Max doesnt seem fit to run a website.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 25 May 15 - 06:55 PM

Hey Musket, ever think that you might not be fit to be a member of the website?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Jeri
Date: 25 May 15 - 07:11 PM

Musket, only one message has been deleted from this thread. It was yours, and I'm the one who did it because it was blank.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 25 May 15 - 08:13 PM

Ebbie mentioned the Russian Orthodox church in Juneau, which I have been to. I have also been to some in Russia. At St. Isaac's Cathedral people were standing, gathered in clumps. Our guide explained that all sorts of things could be going on at the same time with different people there for each one. There could be a wedding, a funeral, a baptism, or more than one of any of these at the same time.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 May 15 - 09:35 PM

...and I will agree with Jeri. I think maybe your posts just didn't "take," Musket. All I see is one deleted message from Musket, and it was blank. If you post to a thread that's been stored on your computer instead of to a newly-loaded thread, the message doesn't "take." Lesson: save [CTRL-A, CTRL-C] to your clipboard before posting, and then check afterwards to ensure the message "took." If it didn't, press the "F5" key on your computer to reload the page, paste [CTRL-V] the saved post into the message box, and "submit."

But Raggytash, save us from our misery and ignorance: What chair are you talking about?

-Joe Offer-

-myself, I don't know any Christian chairs, but I do know Neil Diamond's Chair (I do apologize for having posted that song. The Devil made me do it...)-

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,#
Date: 25 May 15 - 10:20 PM

Someone left the chair out in the rain . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 May 15 - 11:03 PM

And I don't think that I can make it
'Cause it took too long to bake it...

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,#
Date: 25 May 15 - 11:18 PM

And I'll never have that recipe agaaaaaaaaaain, oh nooooooooooooo

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 26 May 15 - 02:57 AM

If chairs are not Christian, how can the Pope possibly speak "ex cathedra"?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 15 - 03:03 AM

Interesting by the way that I too had one on here, so thats two Muskets deleted. I reminded the other two to check that they had taken many times in the past.

The other interesting issue is that when logged in, the Mudcat website often just says Bonk. Usually for a few days after confronting hatred and reminding moderators of their obligations.

Whoever is in the chair certainly isn't being very Christian.

Out if interest I merely pointed out that a chair attached to an occasional table would feel very at home around here as most of our Christians tend to be occasional. Not witty, clever or relevant but if others can just waffle bullshit all day, I thought I'd join in. After all, you can tick the diversity box by not deleting my posts.
👬

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 26 May 15 - 03:27 AM

If I press F5 on this laptop it doesn't refresh, as expected - it disables the curser on the touch-pad! A particularly unchristian trick to play on an innocent laptop user.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Raggytash
Date: 26 May 15 - 04:06 AM

OK, try chair isn't repaired for a believer

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Stu
Date: 26 May 15 - 04:11 AM

Here, chair and everywhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST, DTM
Date: 26 May 15 - 04:39 AM

Chair-lie is ma darlin', ma darlin', ma darlin.....

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,
Date: 26 May 15 - 04:49 AM

"In the Russian Orthodox church, except for those old or ailing, there are no seats."

A bit like the audience/congregation[?} on Top Gear, except that they probably didn't cater for the old or ailing.

Not that the presenters made any claim to being 'orthodox'.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 26 May 15 - 05:07 AM

We have a very Christian chair - a hybrid Victorian Classical-Gothic thing which once would have resided in a church. Interestingly, there's a one just like it on exhibition in the Manchester Art Gallery in the Gallery of Craft and Design. Click on that link, scroll to the bottom image - that chair in the middle there is our Christian Chair.

Otherwise...

Been exploring some other Very Christian Chairs lately in the form of the Misericords of St. Botolph's in Boston, Lincolnshire; AKA The Boson Stump. The carving on this one depicts a parody on The Lincolnshire Bagpipes in the form of two fools playing cats by biting on their tails:

St. Botolph's Misericord Number 55. Pic by me.

Does it, I wonder, ever get more Christian?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 26 May 15 - 06:04 AM

Interesting by the way that I too had one on here, so thats two Muskets deleted.

No you did not.
We have it from both Joe and Jeri that only one single post was deleted, and that was blank.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 May 15 - 06:05 AM

I have a chair so Christian that I always sit on it when I post to this forum, as it renders me infallible.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 15 - 06:54 AM

A chair can be a person too you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:18 AM

When I was a lad, the rich folks had better pews, because they actually psy for them. More money, better pew. Butt, my sofa is Buddhist.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:39 AM

What about your butt? Still Christian?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:40 AM

You named your sofa Butt?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:49 AM

But raggytash, I'm still so confused...

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Teribus
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:54 AM

"Raggytash, save us from our misery and ignorance: What chair are you talking about?"

Joe - they are taking the piss, it is what they do, this one is targeted at you and Pete.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Raggytash
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:55 AM

Patience my friend, patience

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 May 15 - 08:31 AM

Who would have the best chair... God or Satan ???

I reckon God's might be the plushest and most comfy
but the Devil's might be more stylishly designed
and have a wicked built in sound system...?????

Jesus has probably just got a flat pack pine kitchen chair from Ikea...???? 🙏

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 May 15 - 10:37 AM

Jesus's chair won't be that comfy because he has to sit on God's right hand.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 26 May 15 - 11:50 AM

Jesus probably has a chair his dad made for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 26 May 15 - 11:51 AM

What about my poor ottoman, it no longer has an empire!

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Stu
Date: 26 May 15 - 12:50 PM

Jesus was probably capable of knocking up a decent chair himself.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,Ed T
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:12 PM

"Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be." 
― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Musket
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:32 PM

No Terribulus. Nobody takes the piss out of religion, it does it on its own without help. Congratulations by the way on your brevity. Possibly the shortest post you have given us and not a right wing website cut n paste in sight for once. I'm impressed.

Nice one Keith, calling me a liar. Are you in the chair? Not very Christian all the same. I said what had happened and I was addressing it to the organ grinders, not their monkey.

There must be millions and millions of chairs, but only a few hundred thousand Christian ones, and they are only at the table to get their stools into decent schools...

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:38 PM

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/16888567329614445/

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:40 PM

Clicky

the Druids chair 

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:42 PM

"stools".. that reminds me..

Considering the average age of a Pope...

what's the probability the papal throne is a highly ornate gilded commode !!!??? 😇

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:47 PM

milking stools 


Why do milking stools have three legs?

Some potential answers on the link.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:50 PM

Nice one Keith, calling me a liar.

I did not call you a liar, just wrong.
As Joe suggested, your posts just did not take.
That happens to all of us all the time but we don't make an issue of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Musket
Date: 26 May 15 - 01:52 PM

PFR. I did hear the Pope's chair he is carried in has a commode fixture so the bishops carrying him can see whether he has a pair of balls.

Or have been eating too much cheese and dreaming? I'm sure I read it somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,BrendanB
Date: 26 May 15 - 02:50 PM

I have a chair, very nice mahogany carved job. I have always called it a choir chair because it has a box seat which I assumed was for holding music. Obviously a Christian chair. Recently I was told that it is an upmarket commode chair from which the receptacle has been removed. I now see it in a different light and can no longer be sure of its religious affiliation. Life gets no easier.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 15 - 02:54 PM

Musket, there is a chair designed to enable a designated cardinal to check that a newly elected pope has the appropriate genitalia but it is is not the one in which he is carried. It is only used at the commencement of each pope's term of office. (So I have been told).

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 May 15 - 03:15 PM

Can you make a Christian chair out of the wood of a Judas tree?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 26 May 15 - 04:00 PM

Steve, I bestow upon you the chair of morning wood. Use it wisely.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 May 15 - 04:51 PM

I'm fwustwated. I can't figure this thread out....

Waggytash, save me!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 26 May 15 - 06:42 PM

I am surprised that nobody has cottoned on to Raggy's little joke, especially after his clue at 04:06 AM above.

Think! It's a clue.

If you're still struggling, look in the Guardian.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:21 PM

Militant's Islam tint

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 26 May 15 - 07:31 PM

Good on you Doug!!

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 May 15 - 12:04 AM

Is it because I'm an American that I don't get it?
Or am I just a dimwit?

Don't answer that question....

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Musket
Date: 27 May 15 - 03:42 AM

I wonder if it would make a good tone wood for a guitar? A couple of lads turned up at a folk club I was at recently and sang a Neil Young song but with squirmingly awful rehashed lyrics to turn it into a Jesus song. Half way through it, my chair became empty as I decided a piss in the name of artistic commentary was in order. Mind you, it did give me an opportunity to sing Chris Smither's Train Home. Not to mention "The vicar and the frog."



Oh, whilst I'm here. I wasn't making a fuss over a post not taking, I made a fuss over two missing from different people Keith, and everyone saying it was one. I wasn't making a fuss over your over eager shouting Liar! at me though. It's the sort of sub human slime comment expected from you. You really shouldn't be let out on the Internet without a carer you know....

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 27 May 15 - 07:44 AM

Are you saying Joe and Jeri lied then Musket?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 27 May 15 - 08:28 AM

Making guitars with old chair wood? An interesting concept.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 27 May 15 - 09:08 AM

A banjo chair.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 27 May 15 - 09:30 AM

Relief chair 

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 15 - 09:53 AM

Electric chair

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 May 15 - 03:11 PM

A Mudcatter Who Shall Remain Nameless, put me out of my misery.

I NEVER would have figured that out on my own. I feel so much better now...

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: TheSnail
Date: 27 May 15 - 04:25 PM

Is a tender name an endearment?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 27 May 15 - 04:37 PM

"If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." 
― H.R.H. Prince Philip

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Ed T
Date: 27 May 15 - 04:37 PM

"You don't see a fish in a chair often." 
― Lydia Millet, Mermaids in Paradise

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 28 May 15 - 02:58 AM

Is it anything to do with a rich saint?

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST
Date: 28 May 15 - 04:13 AM

You're correct Dave a chair isn't a rich saint.

I am amused by various comments though, and not just the funny ha ha ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 May 15 - 06:00 PM

Googling "chair isn't repaired for believer" (not "a believer") leads me to this:

http://www.theguardian.com/crosswords/quiptic/446/blind

See 30 Across.

But don't ask me how to solve it; I never understood these things.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 May 15 - 10:54 AM

Yes it has been very funny, Guest:28 May 15 - 04:13 AM (Raggy I presume?) People have had no idea what you were on about and still accuse you of creating false issues and stirring things up because it is 'what you do' and because you are 'taking the piss'! Nice to see people concentrating on issues rather than personalities and having a good grasp of what you meant :-)

Cheers

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 May 15 - 11:00 AM

BTW - I don't think I am giving the game away now as it already seems well known. If you enjoyed it a visit here is a must :-)

Enjoy.

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jun 15 - 02:28 PM

Just wanted to add well done, Raggy. You made pillocks of them good and proper :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,R Sole
Date: 03 Jun 15 - 02:34 PM

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...

Subject: RE: BS: Chair Isn't Christian
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 03 Jun 15 - 03:31 PM

Cheers Dave,

As suspected certain individuals came out all guns blazing without having a clue about the anagram. No surprise at all, and yet these are the same people who accuse others of being a "mob"