BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'

Subject: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 05:17 AM

a clear message for the "arguenauts" of this parish that vituperation ain't good for ya!

TED talk on: The Harvard Study of Adult Development

The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

Happy: Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Diwali, Samhain and Dawkinstide........... et al.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 08:02 AM

"Meaning comes from the pursuit of more complex things than happiness."

"Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided,"

There's More to Life Than Being Happy

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 01:45 PM

I'm happy being a miserable twat.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Joe_F
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 02:23 PM

Good health & a bad memory.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 05:46 PM

the happy appellation is my way of avoiding the "do gooder" connotation.

If you watch the video it is fairly balanced. The simple message (and it can be more complex if you look closer) is that having good relationships, family, lovers, collaborators etc make for a good life. The side effects are the prospect of more years and healthier years at that. Averages of course, if fate calls, fate intervenes. But loading the dice in your favour involves "good" relationships.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 06:43 PM

A happy wife makes happy life!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: olddude
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 09:46 PM

Beer

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 10:08 PM

me and the mrs first started shagging each other when we were students.
I was 23, she was 20.

I'll be 60 in 3 years.....

Lot's of regular several times weekly 'cuddles' later and neither of us have wrinkles or look our real age....

course... neither of us are smokers or drug users, and we also never had kids to wear us out and down....

which might be additional positive factors.... 😜

I recommend at least three times daily skin to skin contact & communication...


..Then there's that old man Sting and his mrs and their erotic tantra..

good luck to 'em.. that'd probably put my back out...

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 10:35 PM

I think happiness is a choice, a way of thinking. I've tried both happy and sad- I like happy better.

Although it may be true, as Joe F says above: The secret to having a happy old age is having a bad memory.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 11:06 PM

Ebbie - I did sporadic bursts of dark despair in my late teens to early 30's..

That was not much fun..

Then I worked out how to switch off my upper intellect and harmful over thinking & introspection..

Dumbing down aint nowhere near as painful as being too clever... I recommend that as well... ☀

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 11:25 PM

A happy life. I think that making music makes a big difference.
Spending time with nature, and with friends.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Dec 15 - 11:28 PM

Ha! Joe beat me to it! I was just going to say, who is going to chime in with music?
Best of all, a combination of words AND music.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 12:45 AM

music and naughty cuddles... 😎

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 02:42 AM

Beer and sex and chips and gravy, [ The Macc Lads ]

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: DMcG
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 03:11 AM

Thomas Hardy's "He never expected much" has a lot in it of relevance. But I'm not sure I value happiness as usually understood very much. I prefer something more like the quiet satisfaction that comes with a job well done, for example.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 03:15 AM

When, in any given moment, the person looking out your eyes, is coming from a place of Love.

....The 'question of 'God' is then a moot point...not subject to any 'theology'...
...Music becomes prayer.

When Loving comes to giving...some people stop at nothing.

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 03:22 AM

When Loving comes to giving...some people stop at nothing. I once read that "You can give without loving but you can't love without giving."

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 04:06 AM

Well then, you got the idea....some people 'stop at nothing' has a double edge, and that I like. Makes one think a moment and examine themselves...all the times you gave up...when there was really more.

Regards,

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 06:27 AM

Do as you would be done by. Never stop relishing the quest for real explanations.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Sol
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 07:07 AM

I vaunt to be alone (just like Garbo) :-)

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Derrick
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 09:16 AM

When a westerly gale is lashing the windows with rain and I'm sitting in a warm room with the curtains closed,I often think that life could be a lot worse.
Many people would be glad to be warm,dry,safe,healthy and well fed and debt free without great wealth or power.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 05:20 AM

Speaking as an atheist.
It is reckoned that those that follow religion are often more "content" in life. And average lifespans do reflect this, apparently. The reasons given usually include,:
giving control to a higher authority, thus relaxing more.
having a circle of friends that offer support. An extended family (or surrogate).
And lets not be too cute about it, there is a lot of music/singing involved.

If you don't subscribe to the "God" notion and accept the wider implications, it is advisable to tap into a similar set of communities that mimic religion. IMNSHO.
Religions didn't coagulate and provide in a vacuum.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 06:30 AM

Well Mr Red, when I looked that up on the Psychology Today website it seems that the correlation between faith and longevity doesn't apply everywhere, far from it, and that we should be wary of logical fallacies. Anyway, I have a hypothesis, based on my observations over many years of the "Deaths" column in my local paper. According to many of the entries therein, "God only takes the best". If it's true that atheists don't live as long as Christians, then it seems that God is more enthusiastic about having atheistic company than Christian company, putting off the taking of Christians for as long as possible. I conclude that God prefers atheists. QED.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 12:51 PM

There are in fact a few atheist ...churches..around where the faithful can encourage each other in their belief system. I see one on telly that was next to a black Pentecostal church , the pastor of which felt not at all threatened but see it as an opportunity.               I don't think the stubbornly atheist, will be enjoying Gods company , Steve , according to the bible .

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 01:16 PM

As an agnostic, I guess I might be invited into heaven on introductory open days
and special promotional cut price voucher off-peak weekends... ???

Who knows, maybe fierce competition with hell might help keep admission prices down... ??? 😇

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 02:34 PM

Don't want to know that sort of God anyway, pete.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 03:29 PM

If there is a church and structure they are not atheists, prat.

If you must use the word, relate it as people who have no use for a comfort blanket or are comfortable with the notion of reality and what actually is, rather than fantasising over conjuring tricks and fairy tales from another age.

I'm happy, contented and have a circle of friends based on being friends rather than a point in a service when everybody is told to shake hands with each other. I stick a few bob in charity boxes because of the people it might help rather than because I want to look good in the imaginary eyes of an imaginary character of fiction. In my work, I used to defend and protect hospital chaplaincy funding, not on the basis of thinking it any more than genial bollocks it is but because if it works for you, it works and I can't argue with that. Cheaper than anti depressants and not quite as long term harmful in most cases.

The thing is, the vast majority of people in The UK are similar. No wonder they call it the god delusion.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 05:13 PM

If there is a church and structure they are not atheists, prat.

Oh, do try to be polite......prick!

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 03:15 AM

I've often found my prick to be most useful, albeit somewhat expensive at certain times of my life.

I tended to let others worship it though.......

See my point re delusion.

Tosser

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: BobL
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 04:10 AM

Harries's Sod's Law (from retired bishop Richard Harries) states, essentially, that for a good life you need health, wealth and spare time.

In youth you have health and spare time.
In middle age you have health and wealth.
In old age you have wealth and spare time.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 04:15 AM

Also, musket, Pete is only reporting what these people say themselves when they call it an atheist church. Wherever the prattishness lies this time it is not with Pete.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 04:22 AM

I should add I an not claiming ALL call themselves churches and it would be the height of prattishness to claim that's what said.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Mr Red
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 04:57 AM

well MR Steve Shaw

The consensus in the New Scientist seems to be that religions do confer a statistical advantage. And on the converse, hedonists tend not to be religious, statistically. Maybe the researchers measured oxytocin, it is the sort of thing proper studies would do. But then choose your religion. Voodoo might not confer contentment. Jedi - who knows? If my mother's experience with Jehovah's Witnesses is anything to go by, they would not be particularly positive. Scientology looks pretty negative. But they all claim to be religions.

Dai'sh would, understandably, not be part of any study, purely for practical reasons. But I do concede they would skew the figures.

There are lies, damn lies and the sort that people cherry pick and call statistics.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 06:48 AM

It's all about context.

Hence the silly posts above by DMcG and Mr Red.

Musket is right. Delusion is all.

DMcG is right, till he realised what he said and tried to qualify it.

Mr Red is as unfathomable as usual.

Did you know? The pub opens in ten mins. Tatty bye.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 06:53 AM

I qualified what said precisely because some atheists who attend these things call them churches and some just call them assemblies. It was about being accurate, guest.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 07:01 AM

Pete's expression "stubbornly atheist" is worthy of further contemplation. In view of the overwhelming evidence against the supernatural, I'd have thought that "stubbornly religious" would be the better way round. I've never regarded myself as stubborn in this context. After all, as I keep bleating, I don't know whether there's a God or not. I'm just waiting for some evidence, that's all.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 08:50 AM

And this is that Steve who recently said.....don't want to know that sort of god anyway..who claims he is waiting for evidence !

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 09:14 AM

Perfectly compatible statements.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 09:57 AM

"what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'"

Should have asked Lemmy.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 10:36 AM

"what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'"

87.328% good luck,
11.513% using what good luck you get cleverly and with a measure of altruism.
0.141% good beer and/or Scotch.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 10:42 AM

Felicity Kendal would help :-D

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link.
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 11:27 AM

Perfectly compatible.........somewhat of an exaggeration, when you only look for , or consider, what you want to conclude !

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 11:28 AM

Nah, Bill. 88% good luck and 13% proficiency in arithmetic.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 11:41 AM

There was a time when looking at Felicity Kendal made my life good, to be honest.

The snag is, I'm still a sex God, a latterday Adonis and could get work starring in porn flics whilst poor Ms Kendal....

Being good is in the eye of the beholder whilst being happy is mere state of mind. I doubt pete will enjoy God's company and I doubt anyone will be reincarnated as a butterfly, but I have no doubt that fretting over a future that you have no grounds for believing in is a waste of a good life, even if it gives you a happy life.

How about a contented life? Overall, I certainly have that. Got up, had breakfast, worked on a couple of new songs, went out with my mate to the pub for lunch, got back, snoozed listening to Bert Jansch and now about to start on dinner for when my good lady comes round later. Apparently I might be on a promise.

Good? Self indulgent but not bad. Happy? I'd say so. Contented? Too bloody right...

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 12:32 PM

Now we're getting closer to new year / resolutions..

My real sincere genuinely considered recipe is...

A warm cuddly woman, a roof over my head, food in my belly, a big HD TV & Hi Fi audio gear,
music from the 1970s, guitars, amps, and a home recording 'studio'...

..don't even miss booze that much since I've mostly given it up over the last few years..

A pint is now just too bloody expensive !!!
.. and a bottle of single malt is the same price as a decent fuzz box...

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 05:37 AM

A word to the wise. I once called my first wife "cuddly" as a compliment. Apparently I have much to learn....

New Year Resolutions eh?

Pull my arse over my head and tell everybody I'm a red back beetle.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 12:34 PM

some times it's perhaps advisable to pull punches and err on the side of 'good taste'..

you never know which sensitive conservative minded souls might be reading...

'cuddly woman' in this case might be a softer euphemism for
'a dirty shag loving old Welsh valleys chapel girl with a good job and a decent salary'... 😜

Btw.. it's not illegal to fancy Charlotte Church anymore...
Anyone else seen the new version of "Under Milk Wood" - might still be only 99 pence to rent for 2 days on Amazon Prime...

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 01:05 PM

... and I was still erring on the side of delicacy with that expanded alternative description...

To further recommend the new film treatment of "Under milk Wood"....

My alternative title for it would be "Carry On Wicker Man"

Sadly not enough gratuitous nudity to honour it with "Confessions of a Wicker Man"... 😜

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 01:33 PM

Oddly little on this thread, it seems to me, of spouses or partners. Surely the right one of these must be part of a 'good [aka happy] life'. I was blest for 48 years in my adored first wife Valerie. When she died 9 years ago, I thought my happy days were done. But one must move on while life persists, and I was fortunate enough to be rescued by my dearest Emma, to whom I have now been married for 5 years: the only bug being wondering how much longer, at 84 next May, I shall keep going for her.

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 04:28 PM

Celery.

(Makes for a good splint)

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 04:29 PM

Agreed, the other is all! I hate the word " partner". It is so much more than that. Partner is what you have in a law firm or a tennis match! My great love brings me joy....and then... More joy. Together we love our garden, our music, and, above all, our family. But we adore silence together and the singing of the small birds and the thrum of the deep sea! A romance of thirty years is a grand blessing, is it not ? And oh yes, the cuddles are nice! Not too mention our ancient and honourable dog Kildie.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 11:10 PM

87.whatever or 88% good luck includes finding the right person, whatever you call them, to share life with. There are SO many ways one can guess wrong. Some of us have guessed wrong and then had the very good fortune to guess right finally.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Saris Vinaefir
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 08:21 AM

Living in Northern England, having a Newcastle Tyneside accent, being 70 yrs olde, johnny handle, al Lloyd, Ewan maccoll, lord of the rings, Tolkien, living in the countryside 50 miles west of Lindisfarne yeah< IM ALL THAT! ME LIFE IS FORMIDABLE!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,xxxxl
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 10:11 AM

Finding a pair of trousers that fit comfortably.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 07:43 PM

It is often said you can be happy or you can be right but rarely can you be both.

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 09:54 AM

Fair comment Hilo. My late dog was my best friend, faithful hound and pick any line from Old Shep. But like you say, calling your dog your partner just gets the curtains twitching.
🐶💋😍

Subject: RE: BS: what makes for a 'good (aka happy) life'
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 10:08 AM

I did not mean to imply that the dog was my partner. I meant to say what joy she brings to us. I do appreciate your comment above and thank you for it .