BS: Is this real life?

Subject: BS: Is this real life?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 02:57 PM

Or is it Battersea?

Caught in a bird hide
No escape from this flask of tea.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Raggytash
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 03:55 PM

Has someone put mercury in your beer tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 04:04 PM

"Number Two: There is a saying, "The slowest mule is nearest to the whip.": And another. "He who digs a pit will one day lie in it." Or is Number Two above investigation?"

Quote, The Prisoner

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 04:10 PM

Open your fies,
Eat up your pies and see,
I'm just a poor toy, I need no symphony,
Because I'm easy come, easy flow,
Little high, little low,
And when your wind blows
It doesn't really mutter to me...

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Kampervan
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 04:13 PM

Step out on the ice
and put on your skis and pee
My name is Portnoy, I need no cure you see

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 04:19 PM

Mama, just ate some Spam
Got a bun and some beef spread
Out of my fridge, instead of bread.
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 04:22 PM

In case you need inspiration.

(Always worth a listen anyway :-) )

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: gnu
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 05:03 PM

LOVE IT!

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: gnu
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 05:30 PM

Orchestral Rock has long been a favourite of mine.

As an aside, I find that those who classify Jethro Tull as heavy metal are a tad off the mark even though they really were the genesis for Metal. Kind of the same with Zappa and others who were so innovative that they were "ahead of their time" to many who chose not to really "listen". But, what do *I* know? Well, only what I like and I like it all. Except for Baptist hymns... I don't like most hymns but Baptist hymns? No. Not at all.

I believe Queen brought this genre into the light and it shone brightly due to the amazing efforts of so many talented people. Freddy died too young.

The above opinions are mine. I invite polite discourse on same.

Note : this is an aside regarding orchestral rock. It is not meant, in any way, shape or form, to detract from the OP nor to cause thread drift other than such a discussion as may take place in concert with the OP.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 06:07 PM

"Never trust a man with short legs. His brain is too close to his bottom"

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Apr 16 - 06:08 PM

Noel Coward quote

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: BobL
Date: 02 Apr 16 - 02:40 AM

And a non sequitur, unless the man in question is given to thinking with his feet.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Apr 16 - 03:22 AM

I don't mind thread drift, gnu, particularly if it mentions Jethro Tull :-) Bit disappointed no one has moved it on though. Ah well.

Best use of Bohemian Rhapsody? The car scene in Wayne's World. Most unlikely setting for a Queen song? A Knight's Tale. (We will rock you at a jousting tournament if you didn't know).

And for what it is worth, gnu, I agree!

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Senoufou
Date: 02 Apr 16 - 03:31 AM

Hahaha! This reminds me of the 'phonetic translation' of the Welsh national anthem. (Dad! Dad! Why don't you oil Aunty Glad?)

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Apr 16 - 11:21 AM

"Never trust a man with short legs. His brain is too close to his bottom"

Reminds me of the bit that was left out of the story of Snow White, when the Evil King, who'd been spying on his missus, thought he'd try his luck with her magic mirror.

"Mirror mirror on the door
Make my willy touch the floor."

It worked - his legs dropped off.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Senoufou
Date: 02 Apr 16 - 02:00 PM

Hahahahahahaaaaaa! I just relayed that to my husband and he's roaring!

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Apr 16 - 11:16 PM

Yes, this is real life.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: akenaton
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 05:39 AM

Speak for yourself LH!! :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Will Fly
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 07:14 AM

I see a little silhouetto of a gnome.
Chas'n Dave, Chas'n Dave, going down the East End-oh?
Lager, stout and bitter,
Read it all on Twitter - now!
(Got a dildo) Got a dildo.
(Got a dildo) Got a dildo,
Got a dildo on the go.
Erotico.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Will Fly
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 07:26 AM

Alternatively:

I see a little silhouetto of a gnome.
Is it Dave, Is it Dave, going quietly on a bender?
Lager, stout and bitter,
Read it all on Twitter - now!
(Got a dildo) Got a dildo.
(Got a dildo) Got a dildo,
Got a dildo on the go.
Erotico.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 10:57 AM

Nonsense is an elusive art form. From outside it looks spontaneous. But the nonsense of a Lewis Carroll, a Walt Kelly, or a Walter de la Mare is actually very demanding to get right. Nonsense at its most classic is a form of comedy, and comedy is a lot more difficult than it appears.

And I shudder to consider real life without comedy.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 11:55 AM

Well done, Dave and Will.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: John P
Date: 03 Apr 16 - 07:51 PM

We were up long before the day-o,
Ate provolone on rye bread,
With mustard, hold the mayo.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Apr 16 - 03:56 AM

Hold the mayo
(hold the mayo)
Hold the mayo
(hold the mayo)
Hold the mayo on the roll.
Margarine-o-o-o-o

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Mo the caller
Date: 04 Apr 16 - 11:55 AM

Let me out
let me out
We will not let you out

This parody stuff is contagious.
Found myself singing as trying to escape from car park this morning - 3 streams of traffic leading to traffic light

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 16 - 03:09 PM

A blast from the past. Some may not get the reference to the "school shooting" that generated this song. Truly tragic. When they asked her why she did it, she answered...

Orchestral Rock again.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Apr 16 - 04:39 PM

Whatever you live is life.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Apr 16 - 07:14 AM

Ah yes, gnu, I remember that tragic event on the News. The lass replied "I don't like Mondays."

We've had quite a few dreadful murders here in UK recently committed by young teenagers. (One by two girls of twelve and thirteen, who tortured, abused then killed a vulnerable woman in her own home) I worry terribly about what makes youngsters so totally disenchanted and alienated from society that they commit these atrocities. It's no good baying for their blood (although there was a deluge of 'bring back hanging' etc recently) We need to investigate the failings of our culture/society that produces these murderous youngsters. Something is going terribly wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Apr 16 - 10:30 AM

Well, Eliza: most children with similar backgrounds and deprivations &c do not murder helpless women who have befriended them and invited them into their homes. -- I do not exactly 'bay for blood'; but I firmly believe we ALSO have in some way to make things hot for the filthy little shit-heaps!   

Remember that great Peanuts

[words to effect of] --

Lucy to Linus: "You've broken the window, and Dad will make you pay for it; you had nobody but yourself to blame!"

Linus: "Maybe I could blame Society?"

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Apr 16 - 01:00 PM

Hahahaha Michael! I see what you mean. But don't you think these young folk (for instance the murderers of Jamie Bulger) are not in the least 'normal'? If they were, they wouldn't do such heinous things, by very definition. I agree they should be incarcerated, because they're obviously extremely dangerous, but I'd like to know exactly WHY they became like this. Most have been proved to have had not just a deprived childhood but a very abusive one.

I'm not a 'do-gooder' and feel much anger about it all and deeply sorry for the families of the victims. I've been a teacher all my life, and a very strict one too. I do believe in punishment, but these acts are beyond anything...

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Apr 16 - 01:13 PM

I would like NOT to believe in punishment; but unfortunately nobody has ever thought of a better idea. It's a bit like Churchill on Democracy: the worst possible system — except for all the others.

In my teaching days, I would always greet a new class by saying "I do not believe in punishments" — they would smile happily until I added — "You begin!".

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Is this real life?
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Apr 16 - 01:59 PM

I used to greet a new class with a face like a witch, and terrify the lot of them. Then later when they had learned my rules, I used to do the daftest things to entertain them and make them laugh. And I had a lot of rewards up my sleeve. But you had to get them under control first, for a few days at least. That was something new student teachers would never accept, until they left the room crying their eyes out after an hour alone with the class completely out of control and nearly at riot pitch! I'd have to come back in, wearing my witch's face once more and get the upper hand.