BS: Rules in Life

Subject: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 06:19 PM

I have 2 rules in Life

1. Write everything down.
2. I forgot rule 2.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 08:05 PM

Never move into a new home on any day other than Thursday - (Old Irish Tradition)
Never build on or plough up a fairy fort (another)
Never boil cabbages twice (A Liverpool refusal to repeat what has just been said).
Never lose your head while looking for your tail in Lime Street (Liverpool joke)
Never hang a man with a wooden leg (a rope is far more efficient)
Jim Caarroll

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 08:32 PM

Don't dig your well near the outhouse.

Never get in a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel.

Follow the money, especially in politics.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 06:01 AM

Plant by the dark of the moon, in the daylight.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 06:25 AM

Always keep a two or two.

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 01:22 PM

From the old song
Never throw stones at a drowning man
It's an act we do deplore.
Thrown him a bar of Sunlight Soap
And he'll wash himself ashore
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 01:50 PM

Never stand on a folding chair

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 01:56 PM

Illegitimes non carborundum.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 02:03 PM

Never get into a fight with a pig. You'll both get covered in muck, but the pig will enjoy it.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 02:52 PM

"Don't do too good of a job.... folks will begin to expect it."
            ~Talkin' John old carpenter.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 02:57 PM

Claim that you can't do the ironing because you're left-handed. It might just work.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 02:58 PM

Bill, That's what the guys in the Times Square NYT distribution floor told me.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 03:01 PM

Don't eat yellow snow.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: fat B****rd
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 03:46 PM

"Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own."
― Nelson Algren, A Walk on the Wild Side

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 03:46 PM

Donuel... old Talkin' John said that in 1966... I think it must be a common line in one form or another.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: fat B****rd
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 03:50 PM

"Never trust a man in a blue trench coat
never drive a car when you're dead"
Tom Waits "Telephone Call From Istanbul"

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 03:57 PM

The 15 oops...crash . damn

The 10 Commandments!

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 09:01 PM

Anything more than a handful is a waste.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 10:09 PM

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. You will waste your time and annoy the pig.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 12:24 PM

Keep 'er twixt the ditches.

Give 'er all she'll suffer and don't back off 'til she breaks.

Keep yer stick on the ice.

Be kind to each other. We're all in this together.

Fuck, fight and hold the light. (Canadian battle cry coined by the boys from the backwoods... 'hold the light' refers to jacking deer at night.)

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 03:45 PM

Stay between the yellow signs (how to drive over bridges with no night vision).

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 03:59 PM

When the crows come home to roost,
tarry not beneath the trees.

I learned that one the hard way
-- "it's only for a quick walk underneath" --
one dry-cleaning bill later.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 07:10 PM

You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Mysha
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 07:20 PM

... but you can be happy if you've a mind to.

Bye
                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 09:30 AM

It is good to obey all the rules when you're young, so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
                                        -- Sam Clemens

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 10:19 AM

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much."

[Eric Cantona, 1995]

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: meself
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 11:56 AM

Don't forget to breathe.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 02:43 PM

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

Dalai Lama

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 04:56 PM

"The face you give the world, tells the world how to treat you"
Gillian Flynn

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 05:33 PM

Remember that puns about fish are illegal every day barramundi.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 06:14 PM

Never let your braces dangle. dingle, dingle, dangle
Never thieve, don't deceive and never row or wrangle
Stick to the right, get away from the bad
Don't get as tight as your poor old Dad
But the greatest motto of the lot, my lad
Is never let your braces dangle.

Harry Champion

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Joe_F
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 06:23 PM

A Guide to Living (TTTO Cwm Rhondda)

||: You must eat when you are hungry.
You must drink when you are dry. :||
You must rest when you are weary.
Don't stop breathing, or you'll die (or you will die).
Don't stop breathing, or you'll die.

Ah, souls.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 06:25 PM

"If it don't fit, don't force it! Get a bigger hammer."

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 07:39 PM

Tell Mrs Steve that, Bill. If it doesn't fit, force it! It has NO RIGHT to not fit! "Don't force it!" is my most common cri de couer. Everything from sticking doors to gear-changing to inserting memory cards or flash drives and more. Gimme strength!

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 03:20 AM

Ooooh! A memory card! I need one of those for my head!

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Mo the caller
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 05:02 AM

When in doubt - cheat.

(my motto for dancers)

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: G-Force
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 05:22 AM

... and don't forget to boogie! (Bob Hite)

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 03:22 PM

"When the preferable is not available, the available becomes preferable!"
Israelmore Ayivor

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 03:28 PM

"Things change all the time - abruptly, unpredictably, and often for no good reason. But knowing that didn't do you that much good, apparently."
Tom Perrotta

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: BobL
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 03:06 AM

If it hurts, don't do it.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Senoufou
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 03:23 AM

If you continue doing what you did, you'll continue getting what you got.

and

Do as you would be done by.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Senoufou
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 03:23 AM

Oh, I've just remembered Billy Connelly's one: "Never trust a fart!"

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 06:32 AM

No one expects a deadly disaster which is why you should.
Bunker Bob.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 06:43 AM

If you can't beat em, nuke em and win again
Donald J Trump

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 07:51 AM

Never waste an erection (another Billy Connolly one).

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: leeneia
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 11:07 AM

Never give your life for an abstract noun.

Never cook a recipe that calls for a can of soup.   

Beware of teenagers who end a sentence with "actually". As in, "I didn't put gas in car, actually."

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Senoufou
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 12:07 PM

Always look on the bright side of life (dee doo - dee doodle doodle doo)
That whole song makes me laugh, but the words are very true.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 12:18 PM

If you sense what is going to happen and there is nothing you can do,
any immediate act of futility will do.

Senoufou is on a roll.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 05:02 PM

At the end of the day, all you have got is ...........




Midnight.

Subject: RE: BS: Rules in Life
From: meself
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 05:11 PM

A health care system is really complicated.