BS: What would you Genetically engineer?

Subject: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 08:08 AM

prolifically strawberry fruiting bamboo ...

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 09:09 AM

me.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 09:16 AM

pocket size dinosaurs and mammoths...

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 09:41 AM

A self-refilling bottle of Morrisons Nero d'Avola.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Iains
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 09:42 AM

pfr. Without teeth I hope-just in case.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 09:55 AM

they'd be tiny teeth even less dangerous than hamsters...

But for all concerned about that risk..
a bit more DNA dabbling.. and hey presto... matchbox size dinos and wooly mammoths...

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 10:38 AM

Zero-calorie buttered crumpets
Wee-less Siamese cats
Infertile mosquitoes

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 11:11 AM

Punkfolkrocker, Larry Niven tried the tiny elephants, they were vicious.

Hmmm - dogs that use litter boxes? Cats who play fetch? Oh, wait, we can do that with training.

I kinda like strawberry-fruiting bamboo.

Little roasted piggies to run around the city streets inquiring so politely if a slice of ham we'd like to eat?

Something to eat the plastic in the ocean, and excrete something that scrubs CO2, and die without mutating into something that feeds plankton

The "can't mutate" is key, like the Bandersnatchi, to get back to Larry Niven

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 02:18 PM

There are butter flavored mushrooms that are less than zero calories. They take more calories to digest than they deliver.

Wow plastic eating ocean flora. Quick write the book about ship wreck survivors in an inflatable raft slowly being devoured.

the most succinct and elegant answer has to be "me"
what else could it be
For everyone else
it may have been health
but it has to be "me"


It had to be you
Dave.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 02:24 PM

I'd try it out on one of my clones first...

just to make sure nothing goes to catastrophically wrong... 🙄

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 02:37 PM

Bacteria that would turn the world's entire oil reserves to stone.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 03:08 PM

Ooh, what was it called, AUM, that turned xenophobes into xenophiles? They put it in tomato juice and gave people free drinks?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 04:09 PM

Jack that's an instant novel. We have algae to make oil but the opposite is phenomenal,   na naa na nana, na na na na. na naa na nana, na na-na, na na-na na-na na na na na na na .
phenomena...na naa na nana, na na-na na. na naa na nana, na na-na, na na-na , na-na na na na na na na na
phenomena...

(muppet song)

sorry about the ear worm. It crept into my ear, crapped and crept out again.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 04:53 PM

Talking mutes.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 05:11 PM

We used to say a dumb nymphomaniac with a pub, but I suppose the days when we can get away with that are long gone, and I won't argue...

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 07:01 PM

An honest politician. Of course, we could just clone Warren and Sanders and Franken and some others. Or, just vote for them and what they stand for.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 07:48 PM

There are no walls that stop modified pollen from spreading death.
Monstanto made terminator seeds that do not grow viable seeds. This is a clear and present danger to spreading a die off of accidental hybrid nearby crops. Of course Monsanto claims this is a myth.
http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-seeds-of-suicide-how-monsanto-destroys-farming/5329947

https://actions.sumofus.org/a/brazil-terminator-seeds

In 1970 the UK made a movie of a global die off of all grains called no blade of grass. They had some technical plot problems but the dangers are greater today.

............

I have imagined giant fruit that was so good the dinosaurs made them go extinct. How about watermelon sized favorite fruits?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 09:49 AM

My kid's suggestion is lots more leopards for Virginia. Likes what there is getting to be less of, rather than new things. Nice thought, that. Raised right.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: olddude
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 11:29 AM

A cure against all flavors of jello

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 02:19 PM

Be honest olddude, you still wouldn't eat it.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 05:53 PM

I used to know an experimenter who wished for a scaled-down hand on the end of his little finger, for delicate manipulations. There'd have to be some sort of protection, tho.

Another adaptation that would be useful in some occupations would be electrical voltage & current *senses*, so you wouldn't need meters. 4 voltage ranges between thumb & other fingers on one hand, and 4 current ranges on the other.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 07:40 PM

"I used to know an experimenter who wished for a scaled-down hand on the end of his little finger, for delicate manipulations."

Hmm. He wasn't worried about getting the ladies then.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 07:53 PM

I can tell if there is voltage by just touching it with my tongue ZZZZZZZZZZZZZTT *

I would like 4 genetically engineered glands under conscious control that would produce Serotonin, norepinephrine, and PEA!
(these are better than testosterone by a mile).

To sleep I could produce GABA.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 11:43 PM

Regrowing limbs, too.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: mg
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 01:08 AM

hmm..a handsome man who looked quite a lot like george clooney but only had eyes for me and was passably well to do.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 01:11 AM

Ken Dodd once pointed out that if you had a mouth on the top of your head, and you wore a hat - you could be eating a bacon sandwich and no one would know.

i think i'd like an English penguin
GSOH; more varied diet; decent conversationalist; into Monty Ptrgon and candid photography.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 01:20 AM

An English penguin?

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 02:57 AM

How about a brain with the ability to speak and understand any language on Earth? I'd absolutely adore being able to converse with any human being anywhere.
And joints that regenerate after a certain time. And hearts. In fact, bionic bodies. I'd like that!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 03:20 AM

21st Century... you'd think by now the human body would have evolved itself to dispense with the inelegant & problematic function of defecation...???

A more sophisticated waste disposal system,
like maybe converting bodily solids waste into harmless odourless gases that could be gradually released through the skin pores or lungs....

Genetic engineers, free the human race us from the tyranny of IBS, touching cloth, fissures and piles... 😬

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Will Fly
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 03:26 AM

I'd genetically engineer humans so that death - whenever it comes - is instant.

We know we have to go, sooner or later, but let it be swift - no lingering, painful, messy descents into darkness.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 06:59 AM

I've always thought teeth to be a major design fault. They decay, become loose, break off, and then you're left with mere gums, useless for chewing and unsightly. There must be a better substance with which to construct teeth. And a far better way than gums to secure them in place forever. They must first and foremost facilitate eating crusty toasted crumpets without difficulty. That's the test!

pfr, you're right. I think the entire alimentary canal is a bit of a nuisance. Far too long, complicated and prone to malfunction. Could it be arranged that we enjoy the actual eating part, then whoosh! the food is vaporised, absorbed and is never seen (or heard of) again. No intestines at all, no 'other end' and no indigestion.

As for lingering death, I entirely agree Will. If it's over, it's over, so as you say, let it be instant.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 08:19 AM

regrowing limbs and teeth has some advances. So far finger segments have had success. Were on the cusp of regrowing teeth http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/damaged-teeth-regrow-alzheimers-drug-naturally-dentist-kings-college-london-a7517366.h

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 08:42 AM

Actually, Senoufou, our teeth have evolved very well, but not necessarily to cope with a modern diet of soft food and lashings of sugar that turns to acid as soon as it hits your mouth. Can't blame our poor old gnashers if we abuse them so. Funny thing, though, evolution. We've got so good at making people live longer that bits of us that at one time might have done us proud for thirty or forty years now struggle to cope into our sixties, seventies and beyond, teeth, backs, eyes, ears. We've only achieved the spectacular increase in longevity over the last couple of hundred years or so, but, as generation spans are very long for humans, evolution hasn't kept up and it may never will. In the past, weak teeth, eyes or early-onset arthritis would have quickly seen you off and you wouldn't have had time to do much successful breeding (high child mortality rates wouldn't have helped). These days you can conceive even though you have a full set of dentures, you're stone deaf and can hardly find the bed. We're very good at keeping people alive, far less good at keeping them in MOT condition.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 09:28 AM

You're quite right Steve. We've evolved admirably, but we now expect to eat rubbish and live sedentary lives, neither of which are included in the blueprint for our new, long-lived bodies.
Increased life-expectancy is great, but what state are we in to enjoy it eh?
Oddly enough, although the 'Third World' dwellers have had appalling conditions to endure, and their life-expectancy has been much shorter than ours, they seem to me to now be having a better chance. They don't eat junk food, walk everywhere and never over-eat or become obese. Those who survive the very high rate of infant mortality are actually (in my view) in better shape than us in many ways. My very ancient father-in-law (we think he's in his early nineties, but no-one knows when they were born over there!) is quite frail but has most of his teeth, still walks far and wide and can get down on the floor to pray and get up again (I can't do that!) He's never smoked or drunk alcohol, and his diet has been meagre but with no additives, sugar or animal fat. He's far from senile and I reckon at this rate he'll outlive me, if, touch wood, one of the many deadly diseases in W Africa doesn't carry him off.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 09:58 AM

quite right pfr! shitting...its a bit unegotiable.

if we developed a bum on the end of your finger, you could have a shit in an ashtray, just tapping your finger in polite society.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: G-Force
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 01:15 PM

Dandelions which were allergic to grass.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 03:31 PM

Al wash your hands.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Mr Red
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 02:51 AM

Pork Scratchings. Not the toasted pigskin they pass off these days - that is called crackling.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 06:56 AM

Pork scratchings that have thick fat and which nearly break your teeth are sublime, unlike those silly puffed-up ones full of air. I've never encountered an anus in a bag as yet but my last bag contained an exceptionally fine nipple. Leave pork scratchings alone, say I! Lashings of salt and MSG! I'm so careful to eat healthy grub that just once in a while I'm going to "pig out" on something decidedly nasty, unsustainable, unhealthy and pure junk! And supremely delicious, especially with a pint!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 10:25 AM

Steve Wolf nipple chips are much healthier.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 10:36 AM

Wolves.. just wondering if the genetic engineers of tens of thousands of years ago...

Our hunter gatherer ancestors..

If they took a look at wolf cubs and thought...

"One day we will make these fierce wild beasts poodles and chihuahuas..." ??? 🐩 🐶

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Thompson
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 01:58 PM

Well, for me, telescopic legs, perfect sight, self-replacing teeth, perfectly-working lungs and sinuses, an end to all bone wear and skin degeneration.

For my bicycle, an ability to track itself and send me messages for no cost so it could say "Help! I have been stolen and am at 42 Primrose Gardens, Paris 19, France" and I could go and rescue it.

For drivers, a strong desire to cycle all journeys under 5km (3 miles).

For cats, a distaste for birds and frogs.

For dogs, a much longer healthy and happy life.

For racists, a "D'oh!" moment and continuing realisation.

For fascists - calm, meditative sweetness.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you Genetically engineer?
From: Joe_F
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 09:42 PM

Having to breathe in & out is absurdly inefficient. Why can't the lungs have a separate entrance & exit, and peristalsis, like the gut? You'd get more oxygen, and (obMudcat) you could sing continuously.