BS: I miss Chongo Chimp

Subject: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: EBarnacle
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 09:27 AM

Last night I was discussing online tags with some friends. I told them of Chongo and his rather unique solutions to problems. After describing them to the group, we agreed that he would have been at least as rational as our current chief executive.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 11:17 AM

More rational, many would argue.

And I would be one of them.

Not too early, I hope, to start laying the groundwork for Chongo in 2020?

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 02:03 PM

poo speaks louder than words,
bigly.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 03:09 PM

To the tune of "I Love Paris"

I Don't Miss Chongo

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

I don't miss Chongo in the springtime
I don't miss Chongo in the fall
I don't miss Chongo in the winter
I do not miss that ape at all

I don't miss Chongo in the morning
Don't miss him in the afternoon
I don't miss Chongo
Why the hell should I miss Chongo
He smells like a baboon

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 06:56 PM

O.M.G. And I have NEVER said that before. Steel yourselves.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 09:51 PM

I've missed him/her/it as well, but I plan to go to the shooting range and practice more.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 11:43 PM

Screw practicing more. Just buy a big enough gun that you can't miss.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 01:59 AM

I miss our more whimsical contributors, but perhaps they are growing up.



Aahhhh!

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: olddude
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 11:28 AM

Yes I suspect he is poop throwing, Miserable ape

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: EBarnacle
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 02:38 PM

Perhaps you miss his lack of subtlety.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 07:39 PM

I think the medium-to-lower primates seldom realize the benefits of being a member in order to post below the line.... and I don't 'think' Chongo sings much....

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Apr 17 - 07:46 PM

The Poop-Flingers Ball

Two baboons from old Senegal,
A gorilla, a chimp, and an orangutan all
Met up together at the old town hall
For the forty-fifth annual Poop-Flingers Ball.

Now, the reason they met at the Poop-Flingers Ball
Was to fling their poop against the wall,
To see whose poop would stick the best
And whose just wouldn't pass the test.

Well, the first to fling was the two baboons.
They'd trained by eating lots of prunes,
But it made their poop so thin and runny
It would not stick for love nor money.

The next one up was that old gorilla.
He'd eaten bananas, his poop was yellow.
He flung a turd at the shit-house door,
But it fell right down upon the floor.

And then came the orangutan.
He flung his poop at the ceiling fan,
Which slung it out to all four walls,
But it ran right off and didn't stick at all.

The last to fling was the chimpanzee
And his poop stuck! It would not come free!
And the reason why, I'll tell you true,
Is he'd mixed his poop with super glue!

When the other apes learned the chimp had cheated,
They grew irate, their tempers heated,
And they began to scream and bellow
And fling their poop at that cheating fellow.

They were so angry and so sore
They chased him out the kitchen door
Hollering, "Go away and don't come back!
You are no longer welcome, Jack!"

So, the moral of this painful story,
This shameful, sordid allegory,
Is "Do not cheat, always be true,
And don't mix your poop with super glue."

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 09:55 AM

Well, you may miss Chongo. But do you really think he misses you?

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 10:10 AM

Repeatedly. S/he couldn't hit the floor of a barn from the inside.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 11:02 AM

If Chongo had ever aimed a single shot at you, Rap, you wouldn't be here to talk about it. He has not done so for two reasons. 1. He says you're not worth the price of a bullet. 2. He has taken pity on you, saying, "He's only a poor, dumb human who don't really know what the hell he's doin' anyways or even why he does it, so I am lettin' him off easy. I got other fish to fry, see? I might get around to eliminatin' Rap someday if he becomes a serious public danger, but at this point he ain't a danger to no one but himself."

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 03:31 PM

Why, I do think that I shall engage my compatriots in the Isbjørnklubben to have a feast of chimpanzee! After all, Isbjørnklubben i Hammerfest ble etablert i 1963, og arbeider for å bevare historien og kulturen rundt arktisk natur, levesett og folk, and a chimp feed would certainly be in keeping with the aims of the group!

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Gurney
Date: 07 Apr 17 - 09:58 PM

It may be that some of our contributors were putting the moves on Chinga, and he moved her out of your reach. Or maybe he just moved deeper into the jungle where gorillas weren't, but broadband wasn't either.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 09:32 AM

Chongo put the moves on Chinga when he last visited one of her "establishments" and, when he found it was his twin sister, climbed a tree and stayed there gibbering until a bottle of cheap whiskey and a cheap cigar were used to entice him down.

Then he spent 180 days in jail for being an unstated "act against nature."

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 09:58 AM

Over the decades a relative miniscule group of people post to BS. It has served as an information resource, show and tell but mostly for an emotional medicinal salve and entertainment. Like cartoons, Chongo has served several of those needs at the same time.

I have witnessed an overall dumbing down of content in BS and th world. This is indicative of education, programming and the choices participants' make to risk exposing themselves on a public forum.

With rare exception people on Twitter are the real hard core idiots.
It is there the poo slinging is serious.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: olddude
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 11:55 AM

Apes with bbq sauce taste just like chicken rap

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 06:13 PM

There is no such thing as "chicken rap". Chickens are far too intelligent to listen to that awful stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 17 - 10:19 PM

Chicken rap.

If you were saying that there is no such thing a Rap being chicken, you are correct. Rap is discerning and hesitates to expose himself to unnecessary risks. A certain chimp is not any sort of risk, as he/she/it is known far and wide as "a marshmallow."

Subject: RE: BS: I miss Chongo Chimp
From: David C. Carter
Date: 09 Apr 17 - 02:15 PM

Word on the street has it that Chongo has formed a Banana poo Republic.