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BS: stay afloat while others don't

keberoxu 18 Jun 24 - 08:02 PM
Helen 16 Jun 24 - 04:48 PM
robomatic 16 Jun 24 - 04:31 PM
Helen 16 Jun 24 - 03:49 PM
Stilly River Sage 16 Jun 24 - 11:24 AM
keberoxu 16 Jun 24 - 10:47 AM
keberoxu 10 Jun 24 - 06:32 PM
Stilly River Sage 07 Jun 24 - 07:41 PM
keberoxu 07 Jun 24 - 07:17 PM
keberoxu 01 Jun 24 - 10:11 AM
keberoxu 27 May 24 - 02:46 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 May 24 - 10:11 PM
Helen 23 May 24 - 08:24 PM
keberoxu 23 May 24 - 07:20 PM
Helen 22 May 24 - 03:39 PM
keberoxu 22 May 24 - 03:01 PM
Stilly River Sage 10 May 24 - 07:32 PM
Stilly River Sage 26 Apr 24 - 10:43 PM
keberoxu 25 Apr 24 - 07:06 PM
The Sandman 25 Apr 24 - 03:54 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Apr 24 - 02:14 PM
The Sandman 25 Apr 24 - 01:32 PM
Helen 25 Apr 24 - 01:23 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Apr 24 - 11:52 AM
Mrrzy 25 Apr 24 - 11:01 AM
keberoxu 16 Apr 24 - 06:41 PM
Helen 12 Apr 24 - 01:12 PM
Mrrzy 12 Apr 24 - 11:56 AM
keberoxu 11 Apr 24 - 06:39 PM
Stilly River Sage 11 Apr 24 - 04:44 PM
keberoxu 11 Apr 24 - 04:32 PM
Stilly River Sage 08 Apr 24 - 04:01 PM
MaJoC the Filk 08 Apr 24 - 09:08 AM
Stilly River Sage 07 Apr 24 - 01:00 PM
Senoufou 07 Apr 24 - 11:58 AM
keberoxu 06 Apr 24 - 07:26 PM
Donuel 05 Apr 24 - 09:57 AM
Stilly River Sage 03 Apr 24 - 10:43 PM
keberoxu 03 Apr 24 - 05:21 PM
Mrrzy 01 Apr 24 - 10:53 AM
keberoxu 30 Mar 24 - 08:12 PM
Mrrzy 26 Mar 24 - 11:27 PM
keberoxu 26 Mar 24 - 07:21 PM
keberoxu 09 Mar 24 - 06:32 PM
Senoufou 07 Mar 24 - 01:32 PM
Stilly River Sage 06 Mar 24 - 07:57 PM
keberoxu 06 Mar 24 - 06:54 PM
Mrrzy 06 Mar 24 - 04:28 PM
Stilly River Sage 04 Mar 24 - 02:03 PM
keberoxu 03 Mar 24 - 10:51 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Jun 24 - 08:02 PM

The cyst removal has been scheduled next month, to give the inflammation time to settle down, the surgeon said.
It will be outpatient surgery, the procedure will be new to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 16 Jun 24 - 04:48 PM

And Stilly, I'll check out the Essentrics exercise programme.

I saw a Michael Mosley programme where he tested people by getting them to stand on one leg and then timing it. The younger people could hold it for longer than most of the older people. I do a little bit of a balance thing when I am waiting for something to cook on the stove, or waiting in a queue by going up on my toes and then moving up and down, or going from one leg to the other, or standing on one leg to see how long I can maintain balance.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: robomatic
Date: 16 Jun 24 - 04:31 PM

If you're familiar with the concept of running a diagnostic routine on a piece of software - for years I've run a self-diagnostic. I recite a litany of doggerel with a few formulas. I can do it internally (fully silent) or aloud in front of a mirror. Well, after doing this for a number of years, I experienced substantially mental fuzziness and I could not get through the recital. Went to Emergency. Whatever it was was temporary and have had no recurrence. I was impressed by the rapidity with which they accepted my reason for being there.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 16 Jun 24 - 03:49 PM

Thanks keb & Stilly,

I posted it to the thread called Obit: Dr. Michael Mosley - UK physician/journalist because the autopsy has revealed that he possibly had a fall and that heat exhaustion probably contributed to his death.

I broke the radius bone in my left wrist, also crushed the carpal tunnel nerve and had surgery, a cast, then a splint for a couple of months, couldn't drive, couldn't play harp for those two months as well - that was the most difficult bit to live with - but it is very close to back to normal with only a very small amount of numbness in the fingers. The funny thing was I broke it on the afternoon of Halloween. Spooky! LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jun 24 - 11:24 AM

Keb (and Helen) I use the exercise program Essentrics, it's from a Canadian former-ballerina Miranda Esmonde-White. She talks a lot about doing some of these for better balance, to help prevent falls. They play some of her programs on PBS (usually before dawn - never a time I'm up to exercise) and she has DVDs as well as a site you can join. And I bet if you search on balance exercise you'll find similar through Silver Sneakers or other insurance company sponsored programs. I think the exercises really do help.

Did you already do the cyst removal? If it has the same annoyance factor as a few moles I've had removed over the years you'll be glad to have it gone.

Mrrzy, how are things going for you, health and family-wise (that you'd care to share).

Heat is here, so now it's a matter of going in and out to do things and cool off before doing a little more. I'm never very good at getting up super early to work, so I pace myself when it is hot. And it is about time to put the cooler on the porch with water for the mail carrier and other delivery folks. I've done this for several years, an on one instance the UPS or Amazon driver stopped and thanked me - told me they didn't have a delivery here one day but knew about the water and stopped to grab a bottle. That's fine - it's there for folks who are spending their day in the heat and need a drink now.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Jun 24 - 10:47 AM

I read about Helen's two recent falls; now I've forgotten
which thread she posted to, but I read her posts.
I'm really sorry to hear about that;
I had a couple of minor falls late last year,
and they were like warnings really,
more a shocking experience than a really damaging one.
Sounds like Helen was actually seriously injured. I'm sorry!


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Jun 24 - 06:32 PM

No, no younger relatives who need a job to do.

Tomorrow I see a general surgeon who is going to remove a cyst;
it's under my scalp.
It got infected, and we've cleared up the infection;
but these things tend to recur,
so the only way to stop it is to get the cyst out.
Tomorrow is just the consultation,
the surgery has not been scheduled yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Jun 24 - 07:41 PM

Keb, I visited a friend's house this afternoon because she had some fabric and notions for me or my daughter. I knew her kids were working on the house, and when I walked in I could see it is a major intervention in a hoarding situation. I'd considered messaging the older daughter to ask if they had plans, but they took the initiative themselves.

My participation today was to take away a number of usable items they don't need that can be offered on the buy nothing or free sites in my area. It wasn't a lot, maybe a cubic yard of stuff, but every little bit helps and my friend is ok with it. (Resigned?) They do ask about things, they're not just rolling over the top of her. (Her yard is piled with big stuff like furniture that is functional but surplus - I told them about the groups I'm using, the FB buy nothing and Freecycle, and I think they'll join and start listing this weekend.)

I don't suppose you have any younger relatives out of college for the summer looking for a job to do for a while? To work beside you on the task? I think the fact that all three of her kids (plus one friend of the kids) are there at the same time makes my friend so happy the sting is mostly gone from the reason they're doing the work.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Jun 24 - 07:17 PM

Then there is a de-clutter that is years overdue in my apartment.
I"m thinking seriously of getting professional help with this one,
not because it has gotten that bad,
but because my health and attitude are kind of fragile.
I have to do something about it this summer.

This at the same time I am considering moving to a retirement community.
The two are related, as I would be leaving a two-bedroom apartment
for the community's one-bedroom apartment,
so downsizing is inevitable, and I have to let go of things.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Jun 24 - 10:11 AM

This is a good time to look back on the opening post to this thread.
That post speaks of a blood relative "operatically" dropping hints that they don't know if they can live with it any more.

That relative was my mother, who died in April.
She died in memory care, with my siblings in attendance.
So there was no suicide attempt;
she saw her life through, one way or another, to its natural end.

I might have known that those melodramatic hints amounted to so little.
From some people, hints of being unable to live with it any longer are serious affairs and cause for concern.
But in her case, it was business as usual, I'm afraid.

In fact, whenever she threatened something in anger or in tears,
the thing she threatened never came to pass,
whether it was a bad thing or otherwise.
Her volatile emotions would rage through her and consume her, temporarily,
and then she would snap out of it and forget everything she had said.

So in a way this thread has arrived at some conclusion,
since, as I say,
the troubled relative saw their life through to its natural end.

The drug-using relative is still alive and kicking, though.
And I'm still in residential treatment.
So the work, and the struggle, go on.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 May 24 - 02:46 PM

The residence where I am staying is on Main Street, and is next to an intersection with a War Memorial island.

So when the Memorial Day parade went past today, the parade stopped in front of the War Memorial and the servicemen made a gun salute.

Good thing I was outdoors watching, so I knew what was happening.
Hearing that close-quarters gun salute inside the residence would have scared me.

The weather is fickle today. We are in for thunderstorms late in the afternoon.
Fortunately it was bright sunshine during the parade at noon.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 May 24 - 10:11 PM

Keb, when I administered my father's estate I knew there was a sibling who would argue about everything, so all of my work was documented, and with the house contents I had an appraiser come in (recommended I don't remember how, but he was a local dealer and had booths at antique malls, etc.) That made it a lot easier in the long run. The income taxes had to go to a local accountant because of a bank account that I had inherited with a CD that matured before he died, and the tax on income that needed to come out of the estate. There were also a couple of IRA's that had direct inheritors to be noted and excluded from the total.

It all took over a year, maybe as long as 18 months (I'm not pulling out records to confirm my estimates). I'm hoping it's easier for you than it was for me. I did all of the work myself once (with a set of state-specific probate documents) then had to turn it over to an attorney to do the exact same thing I had already done because of the fighting sibling. Before it was over that attorney had a restraining order against the sibling, so it wasn't just me he was mad at. (And a more personal note - at the end of this I was diagnosed with a form of endometrial cancer that I am still convinced was brought on by the stress caused by that particular sibling.)

Here's hoping you're dealing with functioning adults through the process.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 23 May 24 - 08:24 PM

Hope for the best, but expect the worst - except in this case - because you were expecting the worst and you experienced the best. Yay!


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 May 24 - 07:20 PM

The conference call went better than I could have imagined.
It's the difference between night and day,
the way it was forty years ago versus yesterday.
I was actually treated like an adult.
The bankers and attorneys were on their best behavior, faultless manners,
and they were eager to be of service.

It's partly because they were on the clock, but it was astonishing
how much information got crammed into thirty minutes.
AND I could understand most of it,
at the same time I did not feel that they were talking down to me.

There was even a timeline given that explained how probate and everything are going to take a long time,
"everything" meaning the IRS for the most part.
It was all laid out and open to questions and comments.

I'm still taking it all in. But in a good way.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 22 May 24 - 03:39 PM

keb, I hope it all goes well. Think positive and focus on the good times you remember. Keep calm and carry on.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 May 24 - 03:01 PM

In thirty minutes, I have to phone in to a videoconference
with my mother's attorney, my attorney, and the bank.
I'm not looking forward to this one.
The last time I went through something like this,
the settlement of the estate of a recently deceased person,
was forty years ago, and that was the stuff of nightmares.

I just hope this occasion will be more positive and constructive
than that last one forty years before this.
But back then, when I was young, I didn't have my own attorney,
and I have one now, and this is her specialty,
so I ought to be all right this time.
I'm still emotional, of course, about losing my mother.

So I'll eventually report back on how it goes,
I may need time to compose myself afterwards.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 24 - 07:32 PM

keberoxu, how is the apartment declutter going? An occasional participant on the declutter thread (PattyClink) has just moved stuff from a storage unit to a new place via trailer (packing and moving it herself). Are you considering anything along those lines as you decide what to keep? Had you found a new area to apartment hunt (I don't remember)? How is that going?

Mrrzy, is your son comfortable and settling into his new routine?


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Apr 24 - 10:43 PM

From the point of view of an uninvolved bystander, that dual-obit sounds kind of perfect. Takes in everything.

I've realized in recent times that my history fits neatly into ~ 20 year segments, with radically different things happening in each of those times. That the people in those worlds don't know much about the people in the rest of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Apr 24 - 07:06 PM

Today was another difficult day.
Luckily there were people I could talk to.

Someone decided that my mother needed not one, but two obituaries.
They can be read online, that's where I found both of them.
The situation was this:
my mother stayed where she was born and raised until her father died.
Then she relocated across the country,
and lived her last forty years there --
of which roughly thirty years were in good health, before the end.

So the two obituaries were place-specific:
one for the area where my mother spent the early part of her life,
and another for the area where she relocated.
And yes, the obituaries were different -- related, but different.

In the place she came from, and published in their local newspaper,
the obituary did all the formal things,
identifying the pre-deceased and the survivors,
mentioning the parents and the upbringing,
all the places she went to school, and the divorce from the father of her children.
There was a brief paragraph about her relocation elsewhere, where she died.

In the place where she died, there was next to nothing about her life before she moved there.
Instead the obituary pretty much started with, "[name] moved to such-and-such a city in such-and-such a year," and went on from there.
Much attention was given to all the volunteering that she did in her healthy years there,
and to her time in assisted living and memory care. (Alzheimer's)

So it is almost as if she lived two lives in one.
ONe of my friends asked me who wrote these two obituaries,
and of course they never print the person who writes them.

Online obituaries can have photographs attached,
and both of them did -- completely different photos as well between each obituary.
I think looking at some of those photos was triggering for me a little bit, which is not surprising.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: The Sandman
Date: 25 Apr 24 - 03:54 PM

7uey are supposed to help sleep anxiety and stress, they go under the name 4 7 8 breathing exercises
4 second in through nose hold for 7 seconds then breath out through mouth for 8 seconds


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 24 - 02:14 PM

Where are the breathing exercises directed? Grief, sleep, or dieting?


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: The Sandman
Date: 25 Apr 24 - 01:32 PM

i have found this breathing exercise helpful, Pranayama is the practice of breath regulation. It's a main component of yoga, an exercise for physical and mental wellness. In Sanskrit, “prana” means life energy and “yama” means control. The practice of pranayama involves breathing exercises and patterns


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 25 Apr 24 - 01:23 PM

Yes, good news Mrrzy!

And keb, I have been keeping you in my thoughts, hoping you are feeling ok and progressing well on your life plans.

Stilly, my Hubby & I used Dr Mosley's 5:2 fasting diet (5 days of regular eating, 2 days - but not consecutive - of 500 calories, with mostly veges and salad and lean protein on the 2 days) a few years ago and we both lost the amount of weight we were aiming for and kept it off. Now I cut calories without thinking on certain days and stick fairly well to the Mediterranean type of foods and very, very limited junk food. (I do like hot chips now and then, but I only eat a few now and then and I have probably only had a few shop bought burgers in any given year.)

I have seen almost all of Mosley's TV shows and I think he bases his work very firmly on reliable, practical science which works in the real world. For that reason, I trust his Sleep Revolution suggestions.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 24 - 11:52 AM

Good news, Mrrzy! That thread will be my next stop.

Helen, Thanks! I watched a program by Michael Mosley from years ago that had to do with different forms of fasting. I think he set off the surge in programs that tweak various types of intermittent fasting. (I lost 45 weight that way, but not using anyone's program. I watched my calories, keeping them to ~500 alternating days, regular eating the rest of the time, and got to the gym a lot). The program he hosted was Horizon, and he seems to have a lot of science interests (reminds me of the US host David Pogue, who came perilously close to that Titanic submersible that imploded in one of his programs).

I'm already finding that making myself leave the screen behind not only helps sleep but I'm getting to bed a bit earlier. Better quality of sleep is goal.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Apr 24 - 11:01 AM

See good news thread! I have won the long, hard fight to get my kid to hospital instead of jail!


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Apr 24 - 06:41 PM

Thank you, one and all.
SOmeone asked me if I was experiencing grief in waves,
and I had to say, not yet.
I'm a thinker/doer, not a feeling/expression person,
although the emotions I do have are intense.
It seems I'm good at tamping feelings down,
and I must be doing a lot of that right now.
It means I can keep going and getting stuff done.
I guess my grief will surface when it needs to do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 12 Apr 24 - 01:12 PM

keb, I am sorry for your loss and I hope you can work through the issues relating to your Mother and siblings.

It is the 22nd anniversary of my Mum's passing in two days so I have been thinking a lot about her this week. Luckily for me I have only good memories of her, so I am keeping you in my thoughts and hope that you can work through this and reach a lighter space in your life.


Stilly, I watched an excellent documentary about improving sleep recently, presented by one of my heroes, Dr Michael Mosley. Australia's Sleep Revolution with Dr Michael Mosley

There is also a site with some of his information.

FastAsleep: How to get a really good night’s rest

I used to have breathing issues while sleeping about 40 years ago but I had surgery to correct a deviated septum and the surgeon also recommended sleeping on my side, which I have done ever since. It helps a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Apr 24 - 11:56 AM

Aw, keb, condolences.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Apr 24 - 06:39 PM

The toxic family situation was generational, and the toxic part was in place
long before my mother was born. So it was tough on her as well.
She was a single mother with her parents living next door,
and she felt responsible for three generations of people at once.
It was a lot to take on even in a healthy situation.
Some of my mother's choices were better than others.
And yes, there were some happy moments.

I don't know how things are with my siblings, as we don't speak.
I think there is hope, though;
we are the elders now, our mother was the last of her generation.
In our separate ways, each of us is free now, in a way that we were not before.
I'm still keeping my distance, though, it is the healthiest way.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Apr 24 - 04:44 PM

Of course you are grieving; the pain from whatever caused the estrangement returns full-strength at a time like this. I hope hindsight helps; having removed yourself from a toxic situation was a sound move and one you need to remember was necessary. (My reference for this is from a similarly toxic relative who caused estrangement in our family - cutting your losses and moving on with your own life is the healthy thing to do. If that relationship is beyond repair you only hurt yourself by leaving yourself open to more harm from them if you keep trying.)

That said, were there early good times with her that you can revisit and celebrate, so you're not throwing your own past away?


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Apr 24 - 04:32 PM

Today I was informed that my mother died yesterday.
Her passing was peaceful and my siblings were at her side.
There is no funeral, and her body was cremated.

Although we have been estranged for years,
and there is no shock at this news,
I find I am experiencing grief and loss.
I am actually very emotional and shaky.
I will have to go very carefully for a while.

I guess it is a good thing that I am in treatment,
as I can get the attention I will need, am needing now.
I'm grateful for this thread where I can share my grief.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Apr 24 - 04:01 PM

It reminds me that I can change the color output on a couple of smart bulbs in the house, and it might be worth considering a programmable bulb in the office area for evenings. Mostly what I need to do is adjust my schedule so I'm doing different things late at night.

I have the phone and computer and tablet all set to use an evening routine that gives a more amber cast to the device screens. The thing that is most helpful is the schedule set up in the phone to not make any noises from 11pm to 7am. I used to have pings wake me; I don't turn the phone off that often any more (only periodically and usually to do with updates.)

Today's eclipse was fun - my nextdoor neighbors came over and we shared my pair of eclipse glasses - no one wanted to stare at the sun the whole time, glimpses were enough, and when the totality occurred it looked amazing; the camera can't do it justice, you have to just look with your eyes and enjoy the beauty of it. This is the kind of thing that is best not mediated by a camera lense between you and the thing you want to remember. I hope that anyone needing a mental boost today was in the path and could enjoy the occasion. It was a thrill to see it.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 08 Apr 24 - 09:08 AM

Computers vs sleep: The current theory is that too much blue in artificial light causes the brain to think it's daylight. There's software out there which changes the colour balance for computer monitors, which helps redress this: I forget the name of the MS-Windows product, but what I use with Linux is called redshift.

There's a similar blue caste to LED lamps; manufacturers do this because it makes the lights look brighter than they really are. LED lamps with a redder output may be available, and are worth looking for if you're intending to read in bed to help send yourself to sleep.

Hope this helps, Stilly.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Apr 24 - 01:00 PM

That's a dreadful wait, Senoufou! I hope something opens up much sooner for you.

Keberoxu, we all have varying degrees of open wounds as we progress through life; I once had a charming friend who caused a lot of pain and chaos for a number of people (we compared notes after his death). I recently revisited those wounds after reading the obituary of one of our mutual friends. I favor the "talking cure" to use words over medications for dealing with depressing issues, so decided to try a sonnet format to see if I can distill the old relationship (and an imagined outcome) into something that is resolved to my satisfaction. Are you familiar with the Mark Twain remark about writing a long letter because he didn't have time to write a short one? It's like that with a sonnet, they're short so take a while to craft, but are such a satisfying way to state the situation and resolve it all within 14 lines.

I've had a second sleep study (this time at home with a wrist device that connects to a finger and a wire to a chest sensor) and suspect that while it will again show some organic problems, mostly I need to mend my ways and develop a different evening routine that doesn't have me in front of the computer screen before bedtime. I've made a start in that direction already.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Apr 24 - 11:58 AM

Thank you keberoxu for your kind enquiry. I'm still waiting for my operation, but the Norfolk & Norwich hospital is snowed under with a long list of patients awaiting their operations. Apparently it could be around 18 weeks before they get in touch. Meanwhile I'm in quite a bit of pain but hey-ho, what can one do?


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Apr 24 - 07:26 PM

A lot of old junk/trash from the unconscious mind lately.
The words 'open wound' figured in what came up.
Also 'safety'.
My therapist would call this a productive experience.
Sometimes this stuff hurts a lot.
Today I'm having to be very gentle and careful with myself.

Very near where I am staying, there is a Divine Mercy shrine,
and this weekend is Divine Mercy Sunday;
so there are literal busloads of tourists coming in and out,
and the services are amplified on speakers and can be heard for a mile or so.
Good time to stay off the streets.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 24 - 09:57 AM

For some reason I am reminded of a street saying, 'its not where you are from-its where you are at'.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Apr 24 - 10:43 PM

That sounds good, Keb. Comfortable.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Apr 24 - 05:21 PM

My practice now is acceptance of self, instead of judgment of self:
accepting that I have done the best I knew how to do
in order to take care of myself and to survive,
instead of judging how well or how poorly I did so.

The relief from changing this attitude toward myself feels so strong.
Strong relief and an overall lightness,
in contrast to the heaviness and darkness of depression
and the tension of anxiety.

It may not last, but I'll take it while it does last.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Apr 24 - 10:53 AM

Indeed! Great!


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Mar 24 - 08:12 PM

There is some difficult stuff coming to the surface.
I have the good fortune to be in contact with my first counselor from years ago,
when the repressed buries memories were first coming to the surface.
We gave up our counselor/patient relationship twenty years ago,
and we have stayed in touch and can "talk" as friends, mostly by e-mail.

It is such a blessing to be able to confide in a true friend.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Mar 24 - 11:27 PM

Hoping the clouds keep lifting, k!


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Mar 24 - 07:21 PM

Senoufou/Eliza, it's been over a month since you reported to us
that your gall bladder would have to be removed.
How are you holding up?

I don't know how to verify what is happening to me,
but it seems as though the depression is lifting somewhat.
From my experience, things may feel worse before they feel better --
buried emotions coming to the surface can be very uncomfortable and unpleasant.
I have to have faith that this is a healing process
and that things do get better with time and effort.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Mar 24 - 06:32 PM

The question arose a few days ago as to why I want to leave the apartment.

Although the apartment itself has nothing wrong with it,
I went through years of isolation and depression there.
I really need not to go back to that physical place to live,
for fear of going back to the psychological stuck place that I was in.

When I moved into the apartment, for reasons too tedious to go into,
no re-do was done of the premises;
so it had the same old wall-to-wall carpeting and appliances and all.
THere are advantages to that, too,
but it made for a rather dingy-looking place.
I actually had visitors comment on the old carpet,
and not favorably, either.

Therefore, it is more or less time to move on.
I have a lot of work to do before I am ready to pack everything out.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Mar 24 - 01:32 PM

Thank you all for your good wishes. I still haven't heard from the hospital about my operation to remove my gall bladder. There are very long waiting lists due to the doctors' and nurses' strikes. I'm coping quite well taking painkillers and lying down as much as possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Mar 24 - 07:57 PM

Dorothy Parshall posted on Facebook recently that she was angry and frustrated and being ignored when she complained about symptoms and when finally someone sent her to a private doctor they found the cancer. I put a link to her FB post over in the Declutter thread; this is a toss-up between here or that Jane's Rainbow thread, but Dorothy is nothing if she isn't afloat. She's getting treatment and good care from her partner.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Mar 24 - 06:54 PM

Thanks, Mrrzy. I really needed to hear that today.
I'm thinking of Senoufou as well,
hope that chance favors her and she gets the procedure done soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Mar 24 - 04:28 PM

No cost, Stilly, just the uncomfortable feeling of things being so completely out of my hands. It'll be up to a jury, and I won't be there to read their faces and hear what is said. But I toiled diligently uphill through deep snow to get to this place, so, good...

And yes, Senoufou, do report in.

Good going, keb! That's always been my best approach. Slowly but surely breeds success, or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Mar 24 - 02:03 PM

Senoufou, have your doctors taken pity and moved you closer to the surgery date? If it becomes an emergency situation will they take care of it right away?

In the "not afloat" category, the US did food drops into Gaza, but that is a program of last resort, a way that Biden can do something that the Republicans can't shut down.
According to a 2021 report by the World Food Program, airdrops, in addition to costing roughly seven times what ground-delivered aid would cost, can deliver aid in smaller amounts than truck convoys, and require a significant amount of ground coordination in the delivery zone. . . .This is likely why deliveries have been aimed at beaches, but sometimes, as with the airdrops by Egypt, Jordan, the United Arab Emirates, Qatar and France, that results in aid falling into the sea. In the case of another Jordanian effort on Thursday, the wind carried some of the aid over into Israel.

I wasn't aware of the airdrops by those other countries. Anything is a help, but it is far short of what is needed. The ability of the US government to function is tied to the fortunes of the Palestinian people and the people of Ukraine right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Mar 24 - 10:51 AM

Stilly, I have used a CPAP device for some time, and it does make a difference.
The apartment thing is not going to be settled quickly.
I'm still in treatment as I occasionally take time to travel to the apartment
and clean it out a little at a time.


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