BS: Funny Typos

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Aug 22 - 07:58 AM

malapriapism?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 03 Aug 22 - 04:17 AM

Not exactly a 'typo', but I've seen 'Chester Draws' quite a few times online. A 'Malapropism' I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Aug 22 - 03:26 AM

"Funking bar steward" takes it a step further...

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 03 Aug 22 - 02:18 AM

> basmati

I prefer the euphamism "bar steward". Works well in speech too.

.... oh, and I read "Bwahahahahaghaha!" as "I'm so evil that I gag on my own cackling".

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 08:17 PM

Dunno whether it still applies, but Jeremy on his website TheSession put in software that detected swear words and automatically replaced them with a euphemism. It worked but it did lead to an absurdity or two. For example, if you tried to type the name of the English town Scunthorpe, it came out as "Seejithorpe." Likewise on Chiff and Fipple, if you typed "bastard" it came out every time as "basmati."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 07:57 PM

The Guardian, infamous for its typos, once referred to Beethoven's Symphony no 3 as "the Erotica."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 07:13 PM

Rather like you sticking to the topic in the joke thread? Bwahahahahaghaha!

(Aaargh! I just did a typo!)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 06:48 PM

And you are cofefe. Stick to the topic duckhead.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 06:35 PM

You're barking.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Ytpos
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 05:41 PM

Yes I am a believer of sharing intellectual wealth. A democracy of the human mind if you will. That makes you a terrier ist against progressive motives, inventions and possibilities. Yessiree I take pride in what you think should be shamed. However there is always the possibility you are just phishing in your desire to harm or hurt people cuz they hurt little stevie years ago.
I come to query Steven not to praise him.
Whatever happened in your military service and PHD ABD is your business. As your boss says "Thems are the breaks".

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 04:50 PM

The inventor of autocorrect died last week. His funfair is on fried egg.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 04:29 PM

What a sad case you are, Donuel. Don't those mushrooms grow in August?

As for those typos, autocorrect is my worst enema and, as for spellcheckers, they can go straight to he'll!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 01:06 PM

Many of the keys on my computer have worn blank so I'm always having to check for typos, not being a touch typist!
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 01:05 PM

the funny part is no one cares what you claim without evidence, links, trust or verifvacation. -correction- big lie believers might believe you but still wouldn't care.
Let me push forward this clue;
Your authority declaration to students was one thing, adults are another.
See,
this clue push bottles up Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 10:41 AM

But it's true. By the way, I'll accept "hatful" as a typo.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 09:49 AM

There he arrogantly goes again when its not even about him.
I am reminded of the ire of a terrorist who provides no proof or evidence for their hatful accusations.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 09:36 AM

A typo is not the same thing as an ignorant error, Donuel. I've heard many an excuse here made for the latter via a claim that it was the former. No names, no pack drill, old chap.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 08:11 AM

My favourite typo was when a comma was omitted from a Newspaper headllne in the UK, during the Second World War. It read 'Eighth Army push bottles up Germans!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 08:05 AM

There is someone not amused by typos but enraged. Paragons of perfrction are not alike. Some are nice people.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: G-Force
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 04:03 AM

I used to work as a technical translator, so I spent much of my day typing, or mis-typing. Certain words would frequently come out wrong: 'purposes' would often be 'puspores', and as for 'shut-off device' I'll leave you to guess ...

Our local football team went on a charm offensive once, but the local paper's attempt to describe their 'genial waving' came out as 'genital waving'.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Aug 22 - 02:53 AM

So I was merrily amusing myself with online astrologer reports,
and this one showed up:

"Did you see the full moot?
A supermen, it is orbiting close to earth
and 14% bigger than usual. "

Hmmmm.
New moot,
half moot,
full moot . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 05 Nov 18 - 01:23 PM

Not a typo, bu there's a hamlet on the Scottish Borders named Talkin Head
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Nov 18 - 10:02 AM

Sorry, I meant when the 'f' has been painted over.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Nov 18 - 10:01 AM

My sister up in Scotland lives not far from a village called Longforgan. The local council has got very fed up with replacing the vandalised sign when the 'g' has been painted over yet again.

I've told this on another thread in the past, but it still makes me giggle. A Mrs Malaprop friend told us all sitting round the table during the interval of village bingo that her husband was decorating their hallway and was going to put up a dildo rail. We stared hard at our cups of tea and tried to compose ourselves, with varying success.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 05 Nov 18 - 08:43 AM

A local town here has the long term reputation of being disreputable and rowdy
A few years ago the Council erected a sign on the road going through reading 'SLOWLY THROUGH TOWN" -
Immediately the local graffiti artists got to work blanking out some of the letters. leaving it reading "LOW ROUGH TOWN"
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: C-flat
Date: 05 Nov 18 - 08:31 AM

I once knew someone who regularly used "Canine" pepper in her recipes.
She was also known to use the expression "it's a vicious circus.." which conjures up disturbing imagery.

My brother once fired off a very angry e-mail to a supplier complaining about the dreadful service provided and utter lack of competence displayed by those dealing with his complaint.
No matter how cross us English get we do always try to sign off politely with a "Regards" or something similar.
If you've never noticed, the "g" and the "t" on a typical "qwerty" keyboard are in close proximity, causing my brother to sign off his feisty complaint with the word "Retards".

Kind Regards

C-flat

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: ripov
Date: 04 Nov 18 - 07:34 PM

A search for a body believed to buried in several tons of concrete is taking place in Birmingham. According to Bing - "A team of a dozen officers armed with shovels and garden thoughts are thought to be conducting the search".
Officers and shovels had better be of best Black Country steel!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jos
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 02:10 PM

Around the time of the last election I heard a labour party spokesperson (I can't remember her name) talking about candidates "knocking on doorsteps".

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 12:37 PM

And "I have never stepped foot inside that place."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jos
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 06:27 AM

I've come across those damp squids several times - maybe squibs have been banned by "health 'n' safety", so young people have never heard of them.

(And of course there is the ubiquitous toothcomb.)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 04:18 AM

One of my nieces (a veritable pedant if ever there was one) has told me she's heard the following among her friends:-

a damp squid
a red heron
the truth of the pudding

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jos
Date: 28 Oct 18 - 06:48 AM

I have just seen an example of eBay feedback from someone who had bought a salt dish. It said
"the bowel is too big!!!!!!!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Gurney
Date: 28 Oct 18 - 12:54 AM

Also not a typo.
For Halloween I put a notice at the drive....

Broomstick Parking Only!
Offenders Will Be Toad.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 25 Oct 18 - 11:41 AM

Not a typo - but deserving to be one
I drove an elderly woman neighbour to our local market town to do som business
As we were leaving the town to return home, I decided to call into the local bookshop, sh I left her sitting in the van
When I returned, I asked her if she was ok -she replied, "I've been fascinated watching all these young schoolgirls walking about with mobile homes clutched to their ears"
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: SamStone
Date: 24 Oct 18 - 12:35 PM

Donald Trump...'nuff said

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Oct 18 - 10:59 AM

anti sementism

sounds like a form of birth control

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bruce from Bathurst
Date: 19 Oct 18 - 02:31 AM

Our local newspaper here in rural Australia throws up some fine typos.

A few years ago it announced the arrival of the "Earl and C***ess Bathurst" who were here from England to visit our town (which takes its name from some long gone ancestor of the present Earl). Main headline, front page, complete with photo! Unsurprisingly, the Countess didn't stay in town for very long.

Marginally less offensive was a more recent announcement that "Church Street will be temporarily closed ... to allow the conduct of Beatification Work to continue". (Yes, there were capital letters.) Church Street runs alongside the Anglican Cathedral, so you can be sure there ain't no "Beatification" going on there.

Sadly, the slow demise of serious print media in this country claimed sub-editors among its earliest casualties.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 17 Oct 18 - 12:11 AM

Ha! Not sure Steve, I think I've been hit by Jim-Syndrome! (Sorry Jim, couldn't resist!).

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 16 Oct 18 - 04:57 PM

"Don't know how the double-post happened there - I only hit the 'Go' button once!"

You must be happy though, John, like a dog with two dicks, in fact...:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 18 - 03:57 PM

A newspaper clipping years ago about Bryan Bowers stated "Bryan Bowers, renowned master of the Idle harp will appear at..."



(yes, was supposed to be autoharp)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: HuwG
Date: 16 Oct 18 - 07:50 AM

From a few years ago:

A Leicester City player faces a four-match suspension after being sent off for a second booable offence ...

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:21 AM

Don't know how the double-post happened there - I only hit the 'Go' button once!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:20 AM

"...telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever."

I wouldn't regard that as a problem. Now, the reverse I would regard as a problem! ????

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:20 AM

"...telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever."

I wouldn't regard that as a problem. Now, the reverse I would regard as a problem! ????

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 12 Oct 18 - 04:14 AM

The Los Angeles Times printed an article about Ralph Lamb, the 'cowboy sheriff' of Las Vegas, stating '...butt cracks appeared in his public persona...'

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 07:15 PM

I've given it before but telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 04:37 PM

re: My post above about closed captions and Joseph Mengele

Here are a few of the odd attempts by the low-budget auto-caption program.

Megalith
Indiana
Mandela
MyBelly
My Gala
My Daily
Mingella
My gathers
Mungle
Men gather...

I quit copying about then.... the program was an hour, and they used his name every couple of minutes.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 04:17 AM

Tiger, I wonder if I'm guilty of 'driving unreasonably fat'?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Mr Red
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 03:47 AM

en-shite shower that would be the bidet then?

I still have the newspaper clip from 35 years ago. A job's vacant ad. "Worcester Screw Specialists.................. contact R W Makepiece"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jos
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 04:42 PM

I don't like it either, Backwoodsman - it is especially pointless as the word 'anniversary' refers to the turning years.
Nor do I like, 'at age X' instead of 'at the age of ...', which sounds as if the speaker is recounting the results of an experiment involving subjects [people] at different ages.