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Confession: I killed Laura Foster
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Subject: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Tom Dula Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:06 PM I killed poor little Laura Foster. I'll hang my head and cry. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:08 PM I killed Pretty Polly. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:13 PM And I'll take the heat for Cock Robin -- but he deserved it! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Rick Fielding Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:29 PM Mr Dula. DID you take her on the mountain? Did you hide her shoes? Where will you be this time tomorrow? Funny. There have been some wicked threads lately. Glad to see satire ain't dead. Rick |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:37 PM i burned susie cleland. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:41 PM poor Elaine Smith did me dirt (pronounced ELLEN by bluegrass singers) |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Clifton53 Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:47 PM Last night at a party I murdered "I Shall Be Released". Sorry. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mike Billo Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:48 PM Investigators are seeking a possible link between this, and another crime in which fiddle screws were made from the little finger thumbs of the victim. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:57 PM and what about the harp that was strung with some poor woman's golden hair? there's a psycho on the loose! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:04 PM DUH,,I killed the Wendy bird too |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Chet W. Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:08 PM The chances are high that many of us will kill a few brain cells tonight. Be on the lookout. May God be with the cops, firemen, and EMTs tonight. Chet |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: reeebop Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:10 PM i ate the last of the christmas cookies. and i'm sorry. ...but they were soooooooo good.mmmmmm. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:10 PM Dear Chet, From the look of some of the threads here lately, I'd say that some of us have already killed a few brain cells -- Oh heck, I'll fess up to that one too!! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:28 PM In two hours, thirty five minutes, I'm going to kill this pest the 20th century....it has it coming. The Burren ranger. ps...Now, who the blazes killed Liberty Valance? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Paul G. Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:55 PM I was an unwitting accomplice in the hanging of Tom Dooley. Ah, that's better -- a little confession is surely good for the soul. Now where's the champagne? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:08 PM I am once again struck with the old George Carlin routine and I went back and replaced the word kill with the word fuck. Great thread........... BTW, I killed Davey Moore, but I don't know why he died and I ain't got no reason for.......and I was the one who ran Percy off the road too. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: sophocleese Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:08 PM I'm going to kill a few brain cells tonight but on a positive note I'm going to give up the 1900's ...permanently. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:25 PM Well, tonight I'm going to cross the Clyde-water to see my Maid Margaret--oof! My heart's bleeding again...BTW yesterday they hung the criminal MacPherson. Imagine busting a fiddle over someone's head! They kept blaming me for it--something about a clock. Well, I never could tell time that well... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Alice Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:41 PM I shot the sheriff... but I did not shoot the deputy. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bbc Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:08 PM Confession is good for the soul. I'm innocent! ;) bbc |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Duane D. Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:16 PM I killed the fruit cake, but I didn't make it |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:18 PM Apart from Cock Robin (and he DID deserve it . . .) I will admit to being the one who put the Bop in the bop-de-bop-de-bop AND the one who put the Shang in the shang-a-lang-a-ding-dong . . . Ahhhhh, I feel better already! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Stewie Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:30 PM But who killed Norma Jean? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:41 PM and, why was Bonnie lying and why over the ocean? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:44 PM I just shot them, I blew their heads open. And I heard them scream in their agony. I couldn't help it! I tried to run, but they gave me a gun, and told me the duty I owed to mt fatherland. So cruel, that no mercy tool... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: raredance Date: 31 Dec 99 - 07:04 PM I just set the cake there. The Weather Channel didn't say nothing about rain. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Date: 31 Dec 99 - 07:54 PM It was all the talk about nippin' it in the bud....I shot the deputy. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:01 PM Well, guys, I guess it's my turn. I put the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's chowder. --seedO'flynn |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:05 PM Well, here's the place to tell the truth -- It wasn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow that warmed up Old Chicago -- that's right, it was ME -- I didn't think that three hot whiskeys after 10 pints of the black vile stuff would matter that much . . . (hic!) -- Áine |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:14 PM And while I'm at it (confessing, that is), you know that little problem Lizzie B. had with her folks -- that's right, it was me . . . Oh, and by the way, they got it wrong in the song -- it was 42 . . . |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:21 PM Rebecca Young didn't fall into the water...she was pushed. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mark Cohen Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:23 PM And I'm the one they threw off the Tallahatchee bridge...and I'm all growed up and comin' to get you, Maw! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:24 PM ...and I wrote the book of Love. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Richard Bridge Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:54 PM Aine You got the words wrong. And I know what you did last summer. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Liz the Squeak Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:56 PM Clementine was one of mine, yeah, she looked real good in them concrete boots, made up real pretty, looked just like them boxes you get herrings in.... She won't be kissing anyone but the fishes from now on.....
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:02 PM Well, I'm glad one of us remembers, Richard -- I've slept since then . . . -- Áine |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:15 PM I was just sitting in the street building my dulcimers when this guy, name of Pontius, asked to borrow a hammer....How was I to know? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:18 PM Hey there Cleigh's little friend -- you are truly the Spaw(n) of the Deveel!! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: DonMeixner Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:19 PM To Whom it may concern, We, The Combined Flax and Tow Growers and Manufacturers Guild of Belfast, Ire. would like to admit to and take resposinility for some of the responsibility in the recent death of Mrs. Imma Bloat, dec. We realize that while Mrs. Bloat, dec. was killed by a transected carotid artery. This being caused by a razor, manufactured in Bonn, Germany by Kuutz & Scleitzoff & Co. It was the failure of a product produced by our union that precipitated this event. And for that we are profoundly sorry. Our subsidiary Guild, Amalgamated Eggs and Marrow Bone Producers of Greater Wexford have a similiar addmission regarding a recent drowning in that town. For both events we are profoundly sorry and willing to stand for our crimes. Mr. B. Onmotts, Pres. AE&MBP of GW & CF&TG and MG of B,I |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:29 PM Remember Elvis' famous 'twitch' -- yep, I'm the one that poured the itching powder in his pants -- and that was me that gave Chuck Barry the big wedgie the night he first did the chicken dance, too! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall Date: 01 Jan 00 - 12:48 AM it's not MY fault..I was raised in the state that invented prohibition..so..I'm afraid I killed John Barleycorn. sorry.. spaw..you did it again lmao |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp Date: 01 Jan 00 - 12:56 AM I caused the wreck on the highway -- and I didn't stop to pray! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:13 AM Okay look I didn't do it see? But I can't have my best friend's wife lie for me now can I? Fockit...I guess I'm toast. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:16 AM bless me father for i have sinned-it has been one post since my last confession --- the old friend at the tennesse waltz -- it was me peace (Y) thosp |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:26 AM Hey its a real bad roadbed between Lynchburg and Danville and there was no way my crew could finish reballasting and spiking that night, so I told the boys to go on home and we'd finish on Monday. Dumb SOB was runnin' way too fast anyway. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Alan of Australia Date: 01 Jan 00 - 04:56 AM And our family misses her terribly. Alan Foster |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Little Tommy Flynn Date: 01 Jan 00 - 06:46 AM I pushed the pussy |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: -gargoyle Date: 01 Jan 00 - 06:49 AM Or is it somone who changed his/her Cookie |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Hasek Date: 01 Jan 00 - 08:32 AM If Tom Dula only knew that Laura Foster contracted that disease from John Henry...........and if only I had a hammer, I'd hammer this morning............. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall Date: 01 Jan 00 - 10:40 AM If I had a hammer there wouldnt be any drummers |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: sophocleese Date: 01 Jan 00 - 12:00 PM I killed the skunk in the road. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Date: 01 Jan 00 - 12:13 PM Sorry, I accidentally left Jenny O' the braes' door open... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: lajka Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:03 PM Do you know what.......................................... I killed Bambis mother.. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: lajka Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:10 PM And I killed bambi too. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:20 PM forget the foster chick: i killed laura palmer. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing Date: 01 Jan 00 - 02:09 PM And, I am going to kill this thread!!!! KA-BOOM! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mikal Date: 01 Jan 00 - 02:11 PM Well.. As I was out walkin' on Kilgarum mountain, I spied Coronel Farrel, and his money he was countin'. So snatched up me pistol and I rattled me saber sayin' stand and deliver for I am the bold deciever.... Mikal |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Date: 01 Jan 00 - 03:19 PM Mikal, perchance wert there whisky in his jar? BTW I was walking up the road the other day, and this guy wanted me to trade my fiddle for a glass of wine. Of course I told him no. I don't want the world to think me mad! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: arkie Date: 01 Jan 00 - 03:55 PM Have enjoyed this thread more than the other confession, but I too have a confession to make. Another thread on this topic and I'll feel like killing somebody. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Faded Denim Date: 01 Jan 00 - 04:12 PM "Mudcatters!"..... You guys kill me. Reid |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Paul G. Date: 01 Jan 00 - 04:17 PM I sunk the Edmund Fitzgerald. ...but I swear I was nowhere near any iceburgs in 1912... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: _gargoyle Date: 01 Jan 00 - 05:02 PM Nice to start with a clean slate
90% of those crimes were being pinned on me.
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain Date: 01 Jan 00 - 05:11 PM i am wickedly laughing my ass off. that was a good one, bud. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain Date: 01 Jan 00 - 06:44 PM and all the federales say they could have had me anyday |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Den Date: 01 Jan 00 - 08:05 PM I pushed Humpty Dumpty...and I'd do it again, Den |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Caitrin Date: 01 Jan 00 - 08:12 PM Remember the penknife in Jim's back in "Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts"? That was me. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Bugsy Date: 01 Jan 00 - 08:12 PM I never killed anyone, But right now, I could MURDER a Chinese!!! Cheers Bugsy |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 01 Jan 00 - 10:18 PM OK. So I'm the woman to blame...but you won't see me wasting away in Margaritaville. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 01 Jan 00 - 10:21 PM Yep, that was me on the Orient Express, too -- jaysus the money I made from all those eejits who wanted to take the blame . . . was that a mousetrap I just heard snap? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Jan 00 - 10:29 PM Okay, so my name was on an envelope at the bottom of about a half a ton of garbage.....Just another case of American blind justice. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: harpgirl Date: 01 Jan 00 - 10:48 PM ...I had a cow (with apologies to Gertrude Stein)that slobbered bad, down in the Arkansas... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy Date: 01 Jan 00 - 11:56 PM I thought the razor blades were Dublin made, Probably irrelevant now but a reference to Don's company admitting that the cause of Mrs. Bloat's sad demise was....... , Never mind. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 02 Jan 00 - 12:00 AM Come on now, Brendy -- aren't you the fella that finally did in Lovely Rita the Meter Maid? You can tell us, lad -- we're all friends here . . . ;-) Le ghra, Áine |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Davey Date: 02 Jan 00 - 12:05 AM All right, I admit it... I stepped on a crack, and broke m............. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Wesley S Date: 02 Jan 00 - 12:14 AM And if I'd just confessed earlier that poor woman wouldn't be walking these hills in her long black veil... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Date: 02 Jan 00 - 12:45 AM I never killed a man that didn't cause me any pain... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Jan 00 - 12:53 AM Alright, I admit it. I've never been to Spain, but I kinda' like the music. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing Date: 02 Jan 00 - 12:56 AM And, I knew the guy who went out in the desert on a horse with no name |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Jan 00 - 12:57 AM Honey, I know I could've loved you better. I really DIDN'T mean to be unkind......Ya' know, it was the last thing on my mind. Really. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy Date: 02 Jan 00 - 01:00 AM What ever you say, say nothin' when you speak about you know what. For if you know who should hear you, You know what you'll get. They'll take you off to you know where, for you wouldn't know how long. So for you know whose sake don't let anyone hear you sing this song |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 02 Jan 00 - 02:22 AM It wasn't Mary...I had that little lamb (and then I ate her). Catspaw |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy Date: 02 Jan 00 - 02:25 AM Cæsar ad sum iam forte Brutus et erat Cæsar sic in omnibus, Brutus sic iubet. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Date: 02 Jan 00 - 02:38 AM Remember the spider and Miss Muffett? Me, too, I'm afraid . . . but, heck, I can never resist the temptation of a great big bowl of curds and whey! And really, the look on her face was worth it -- stuck up little prude . . . |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Date: 02 Jan 00 - 02:55 AM Johnny's as helpless as a kitten up a tree....I chased him. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Faded Denim Date: 02 Jan 00 - 08:57 AM Well... That's what you get! (for lovin' me) |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall Date: 02 Jan 00 - 03:21 PM seed the lamb or Mary? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Alice Date: 02 Jan 00 - 03:44 PM Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer.... come on, 'fess up, Max. (oh, never mind) alice |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Art Thieme Date: 02 Jan 00 - 04:20 PM Hey, people, I'm Cock Robin---and I ain't dead ! (I did change my name a long time ago. I'm Jewish. My real name is Penis Rabinowitz.) |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Date: 02 Jan 00 - 05:29 PM I've got a gal in Tuscaloosa, Sugar Lee is her name. Ain't good-lookin', and she's mean as thunder, but I love her just the same. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Dani Date: 02 Jan 00 - 05:31 PM Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night. The first one's named Sweet Anne Marie and she's my heart's delight. Second one is prison, baby, the sheriff's on my trail And if he catches up with me I'll spend my life in jail... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain Date: 02 Jan 00 - 05:34 PM sure do wish i was a mole in the ground. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Lonesome EJ Date: 02 Jan 00 - 05:56 PM I put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop shoo-bop I put the lam in the lamma lamma ding dong I ALSO put the dit in the dit-di-dit-di-dit In addition, I wrote the Book of Love. LEJ |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp Date: 02 Jan 00 - 07:24 PM London Bridges -----that was me |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Date: 02 Jan 00 - 07:30 PM I'm standing on a mountaintop--I wonder if she can hear me? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Clifton53 Date: 02 Jan 00 - 07:38 PM I'm renting an attic bedroom to (ssshhhhh), Elvis. Thank you, thank you very much. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing Date: 02 Jan 00 - 07:43 PM Wonder if he know's what she's dreaming of?
The ole hootie owl hootie-hoo's to the dove |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 02 Jan 00 - 07:50 PM Now LEJ-------I've already confessed to writing the Book of Love. I also know where and I know when, but I'LL NEVER TELL! Mary |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Dave ( the ancient mariner ) Date: 02 Jan 00 - 08:13 PM Twas I that killed the lovely Albatross.. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: jeffp Date: 02 Jan 00 - 08:40 PM As long as everybody's in a confessional mood, I'm the guy that didn't marry pretty Pamela Brown. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing Date: 02 Jan 00 - 08:55 PM There was a hole in my stocking last time I danced by the light of the moon. Was the same night the buffalo gals came out. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Caitrin Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:04 PM Did the Buffalo Gals come out of the closet, kat? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Lonesome EJ Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:17 PM Sorry, Mary. I've been telling people for years that I wrote the Book of Love and never encountered one doubter. Then I actually run into the author on the Mudcat...I mean, what are the chances?! Anyway, I am in receipt of the Cease and Desist Order from your attorney, and have every intention of complying. I did not write The Book of Love, though I had a small part in the movie. LEJ |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:51 PM We can say it was under my/your/our psuedonymn. I'll let you choose one. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:53 PM oops. always profreed. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Dave Swan Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:54 PM It's been a tough day for me. I just had to go tell Aunt Rhody. E.S. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:54 PM Dave (TAM) by thy long grey beard and the glint in thy eye - i was one of the three peace (Y) thosp |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Date: 02 Jan 00 - 11:36 PM But did you make Bambi sad? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Cara Date: 02 Jan 00 - 11:37 PM I told Clementine to jump on in the water...but I feel really bad... Additionally, my whereabouts on the night they drove old Dixie down ahve never been satisfactorily established. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: _gargoyle Date: 02 Jan 00 - 11:56 PM Just curious Jeff P....do you work at the University of Wisconsin???? ( You butts were whipped today;;;;and your bio...resides there.) |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Kernow John Date: 03 Jan 00 - 01:53 AM Remember the Old Dunn Cow? Last time I struck a match! God that feels better. Baz |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 03 Jan 00 - 04:21 AM A couple of my friends asked me to forward these messages: I DIDN"T DO IT, DAMMIT. You know I wasn't there. --McCavity, the Mystery Cat It was a bum rap. I did not shoot Mr. Howard. Jesse's brother Frank did. I just claimed the reward. Robert Ford --seed |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: jeffp Date: 03 Jan 00 - 08:51 AM No, Garg, I don't work at Wisconsin. The commute from Maryland would kill me and my old car. Is someone up there using me as a pseudonym? Maybe he's the one that did marry pretty Pamela Brown! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Big Mick Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:06 AM AWWWWWWRRRRRIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHTTTT!!!!!!! I admit it.......it was me..........I write the songs that make the whole world sing, the songs of looooovvvvvveeeee and everything..............and I killed Barry Manilow................SO SUE ME, ALREADY.......I still say I did the world a favor! Big Mick |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:18 AM Big Mick, We're forever indebted to you. And it was me who murdered that dear little girl, whose name was Rose Conlee. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Wesley S Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:29 AM I came in through the bathroom window { and I wasn't looking for George Harrison } |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:45 AM Seed--Does your friend, McCavity Cat, hang out with the Magical Mister Mistopheles? He's been accused of a lot of mischief. BTW, does anyone know if his song is an "upside down" version of Rachmaninoff's Theme on a Variation of Paganinni? I think I heard somewhere that it was. (Sorry for the thread creep) |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Allan C. Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:11 AM It was I who kissed Flora 'neath the tree. I should also admit to my involvement in the abduction and murder of the gray goose and the later slandering of the fox (who was only guilty of receiving stolen goods). It was during this event that I also buried a freshly killed turkey in the straw (although some say it was hay).
I traveled quite a bit in the years which followed. I left my home and my family and trekked across the Blue Ridge Mountains. I ran the ridges of Tennessee, rode that great Northern Railway, walked that lonesome valley, crossed the wide Missouri, then went down south and eventually made it down to the coast of California (where I was partly raised).
Among my better accomplishments was the building of a tower which stood forty feet high. I also once built a railroad (where I met a fine fellow named Pat); but now it's done. Recently, I spent my last greenback dollar on a speckled roan which I swear I didn't know was stolen. The crime was blamed on me and so I am currently having my mail forwarded to a correctional facility in Tijuana. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Richard Bridge Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:23 AM I had a penknife long and sharp.......... Oh, yes, and I sank the Princess Alice....... And the Rueben James............ And I gave Queen Jane that fatal caesarian..... And I'm the young man they call Ramble Away. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:26 AM If no one's fessin' up to Liberty Valance, I'll claim it. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Allan C. Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:36 AM But two shots rang out, Steve. So you could possibly be innocent. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer Date: 03 Jan 00 - 12:49 PM Thanks Allan, who needs Johnny Cochrane with you around? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Date: 03 Jan 00 - 01:01 PM I said, "Hang 'em, hang 'em HIGH!" |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Lonesome EJ Date: 03 Jan 00 - 02:32 PM I was standing near the Grassy Knoll, and saw the whole thing... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Bert Date: 03 Jan 00 - 02:45 PM and I killed Anne Boleyn. HENRY VIII. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: wildlone Date: 03 Jan 00 - 02:46 PM I hear that train a'coming, coming round the bend. don't bend over on the railroad track, it will get you in the end. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Peter T. Date: 03 Jan 00 - 04:24 PM WHO SO YOU LOVE, I HOPE....
Who do you love, I hope? |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Date: 03 Jan 00 - 08:37 PM I fought the law......... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: jeffp Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:06 PM I am Spartacus! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: vikinglass Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:29 PM Serial killer wannabes often confess to crimes they did not commit. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Cuz'N' Jan Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:35 PM Hey! I was just looking for a song, and I found y'all. But please, I'm not prepared to die. Knoxville Girl P.S. I didn't do nothin' |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: ddw Date: 04 Jan 00 - 12:24 AM It was me did Omie Wise. And while I was on the lam from that, that damned sheriff locked my leg to 35 pounds of Blackjack County Chain. But he got his. Made me so mad I kicked that rock onto the tracks that derailed the FFV and drilled the hole that sank that Turkish enemy in the lowland sea. david |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy Date: 04 Jan 00 - 01:13 AM Oh, I don't know about all this! I think it's my destiny to be the king of pain. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Jimmy Date: 04 Jan 00 - 02:09 AM I waited until his Rolls Royce stopped at the lights and then I blew his lordship's brains out. Ha! No wonder he didn't notice the lights had changed. But George knew it wasn't suicide so I had to try to kill him too. (shortly to become a BBC "Murder most Foul" presentation) |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Danlbear Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:10 AM I'm a good boy...I aint never done nothin'. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Davey Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:27 AM I demolished the Corn Flakes I obliterated the Rice Krispies I terminated the Shreddies I ended the Captain Crunch I stabbed the Shredded Wheat I shot the Puffed Rice I am a cereal killer. Davey... (:>) |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Nathan in Texas Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:52 AM It's not like I killed anyone. All I did was leave the cake out in the rain |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Parkes Date: 04 Jan 00 - 12:29 PM I've got Captain Queeg's strawberries! Sorry about the ... trouble, guys. Steve Oh, and I've got the Nostromo's cat, too ... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Caitrin Date: 04 Jan 00 - 07:33 PM BTW, I should also admit that Richard III was innocent. I knocked off the Little Princes. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Faded Denim Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:44 PM I think it's about time someone killed this thread. But it can't be me - I'm an innocent! Well - I was.. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp Date: 05 Jan 00 - 01:03 AM the shot heard round the world--yup it was me -- just about took off my toe too! peace (Y) thosp |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Metchosin Date: 05 Jan 00 - 01:45 AM I put the tire track down Humphry's back...
I threw shit at the cook
And hung Paddy Doyle for his boots
I slew the Bonnie Earl of Moray and Lady Mondegreen
I fight authority, authority always wins....
I fell in to a burning ring of fire.....
I'm sorry,...... so sorry....... I always come on to these threads after the novelty has worn off for everyone else.
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: brewmstr@telusplanet.net - Peter Sanderson Date: 05 Jan 00 - 03:46 AM O.K. I'm busted...thanks to me, Delia's gone ...but it took a lot of ammo y'know..(BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round..BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round..BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round...BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round...(Dangit, just die...this is expensive ammo)...BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round... I have come to the conclusion that Delia is...one of the horrible UNDEAD! PJS |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: johnp Date: 05 Jan 00 - 08:44 PM Billy Jo did't jump....I pushed |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie-O Date: 05 Jan 00 - 09:23 PM There I wuz, mindin my own business, had a nice steady racket of lovin em and leavin em, when this ship pulls up alongside me anchorage, and it's full of sailor babes dressed in mens clothing, and all these breasts falling out in the moonlight, and I knew every damn one of them and they was all lookin fer me...I was outta there so quick, I didn't bother to weigh anchor, just let the chain go, fired up the diesel and headed fer open water or the nearest iceberg, who cares really... If Greenpeace hadn't borrowed me Zodiac I[d a been round the point in it before you could say "allegations of patrimony" W-O |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Liza Johnson Date: 06 Jan 00 - 03:54 AM I changed the locks: that's why your key don't fit in my lock no more RtS |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Reynard the Fox (and associates) Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:24 AM Don't tell Aunt Rhody, but I killed the grey goose (and can't understand why there are no more golden eggs.) RtS |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie-O Date: 06 Jan 00 - 04:51 PM That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy.... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Bluesy Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:20 PM I started a joke... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mac The Knife Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:31 PM About two seconds ago, I killed God and that means that any second now, all existance as we know will cease to ex......... |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie-O Date: 06 Jan 00 - 09:56 PM ...ercise any self-restraint |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: vikinglass Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:59 PM I shoved False Sir John off the cliff. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer Date: 07 Jan 00 - 11:05 AM I was the man, The Mississippi Gambler, who said that he'd be home tonight. |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp Date: 07 Jan 00 - 07:56 PM parting the red sea -- that was me! |
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Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: BarbaraLynn Date: 08 Jan 00 - 12:14 AM I wore a necktie and a Panama hat; My passport shows a face from Another time and place, but I look Nothin´like that ... And all the remnants of my Recent past are Scattered in the wild wind... Not overly sorry the island sank, just couldn't resist turning up that boiler to see what would happen. Girls just wanna have fun! And didn't want to go back anyway to Black Diamond Bay. BarbaraLynn |
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