BS: recomended methods of social distancing

Subject: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: The Sandman
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 05:17 AM

1. DO NOT WASH FOR A YEAR OTHER THAN YOUR HANDS WHEN ENTERING AND LEAVING YOUR HOUSE OR PUBLIC BUILDINGS
2 eat lots of garlic
3, do funny walks

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: David C. Carter
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 06:57 AM

Plug your banjo into a 100 watt amp.

Stand in the town square.

Frail away.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 07:02 AM

Fart in EVERYONE'S general direction.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 08:12 AM

I have a sword about 4' long. If I hold it at arms length and spin round that should do the trick.:-)

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 08:26 AM

Trip the speeding teenager heading right at you without a thought about social distancing and exclaim oh my child are you OK?

sharpen the tip of your cane.

Learn how to conceal a stungun.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 09:06 AM

Gabble away in French/Noushi with a demented look in one's eye to a random chap in the supermarket while looking at some empty shelves.
He edged away with an alarmed expression on his face.
(I thought he was my husband standing just behind me. This was in Morrisons this morning)

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 09:24 AM

Nowadays I would assume you were on the phone.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: gillymor
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 09:31 AM

Warn others that your Mudcat member who frequents the B.S. section. That oughta do it. :^)

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: gillymor
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 09:50 AM

and make a couple of typos.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 10:09 AM

Sing loudly and look people in the eye. Grin at the same time if you can.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 10:19 AM

I actually had to put my arm out and point at a persons eyes just feet away in a grim reaper fashion at the drug store.
Hell I should just wear my grim reaper Halloween costume.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 10:25 AM

I don't know if that would make things any creepier.
Just fake a coughing fit.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Charmion
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 11:17 AM

We're Canadian, so we tend to be a bit distant at the best of times.

I wish I had the duct tape franchise in Stratford, though; somebody at the Bank of Montreal used at least half a dozen rolls to mark off safe distances in the queue for the tellers' stations, and a deadline (cross it without invitation and I shoot you) in front of the counter.

At Guardian Drugs on Wellington Street, a nice lady stands at the door to quiz all comers about their state of health and recent movements, which makes sense because the shop is jammed tight with doohickeys and unguents as well as a few actual drugs. Again, lots of duct tape on the floor to keep the customers from breathing on the cashier and the dispensing druggist, but the people stocking and tidying the shelves are at our mercy.

The beer store is open, but not taking empties back until 1 April. Maybe that's when the new sterilizer will be installed (just kidding; I'm sure the date was just pulled out of somebody's nose).

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: leeneia
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 11:25 AM

Smile broadly at strangers and gaze into theirs eyes. People will flee.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 11:36 AM

Coughing at people to threaten them with the virus is a criminal offence in tbe UK.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 12:45 PM

Yes, just learnt of that recently myself. It's a less specialised version of the way some (apparent) drug-addicts would use a syringe as a threat.   

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Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 02:15 PM

Deliberate menacing coughing is a crime under US terrorist statutes.

It is not illegal to hold an empty gas can (maybe full of prune juice) and have a lighter in your other hand

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 03:05 PM

So that is a legal way to get folks to keep their distance.

I have gas cans... And lighters... Hmmm.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 08:15 PM

here in the land of Oz, two idiots arrived at a Police Station, one with camera poised, the other coughing in the face of a 71 year old police employee & telling her he had COVID-19.

It was a "prank" & he was charged with stalk/intimidate intend fear physical harm, and resist or hinder police officer in the execution of duty.

not a recommended way to socially distance.

Subject: RE: BS: recomended methods of social distancing
From: Helen
Date: 26 Mar 20 - 11:05 PM

Remember the Invasion of the Body Snatchers movies where they would stand still in the street, hold their arms out and point and hiss to identify the few remaining humans who hadn't been transformed into aliens yet?

That's my plan.

Donald Sutherland could look menacing even when he was being nice. The image of him doing that point & his gesture is imprinted on my brain forever, even after all these years.