Help: Playboy Playmates...and songs about them

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 09:13 AM

Help them what?!?

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 09:32 AM

Isn't this an early American ballad? As I recall, the first two lines are:

Come all ye Playboy Playmates, wherever ye may be
I hope you'll pay attention, and listen unto me
For well ye know the shimmy, and the rassle and the blow
That keeps the money coming in, in the house in Chicago

When first I left my native farm, a tender miss alone
I had just a pair of thirty-eights, nothing else to call my own
Oh little did I understand the whacky rodeo
That I soon would be embroiled among in the house in Chicago

I forget the rest. I think Donovan sang it.

A

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: GUEST,arkie
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 10:13 AM

Amos, great to remember this old ballad. We used to sing it all the time many years ago. Another old classic along the same theme is July, You're A Woman, which was revived for a time by the traditional balladeer, John Stewart.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 10:23 AM

Not the Fairfield County John Stewart (Stuart)??

A

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 11:07 AM

Help playboy playmates? Anytime, corrr where do I sign on Cap'n Hefner? Yours,(lustfully) Aye. Dave

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 03:09 PM

The Kingston Trio and Cumberland Three John Stewart.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 03:53 PM

Come gather round Playmates and pay me your mind
Seek not your fortune in the Bump and the Grind
Disdain all the drunkards who pinch, grope and rub
It's dark as a dungeon in the Gentleman's Club.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 04:07 PM

Chorus:

Oh it's dark as a dungeon, and damp as the dew!
Where the dangers are many, and the gentlemen few!
For the guests are as randy as a billy goat's cub!
Oh, it's dark as a dungeon in the Gentlemen's Club!

When first I did come there, a maiden so willing
I thought 'twas no harm, and I needed the shilling!
But the leering and whistles, they made my head whirl!
And I found that the Club was no place for a girl!

Chorus

They'll measure you up, and they'll calm all your fears
And they'll makeyou cavort in those cute bunny ears
And then the photographer offers his stub!
Bad cess to the owner of the Gentlemen's Club!

Ch.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: GUEST,emily rain
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 05:14 PM

oh, dear god.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Áine
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 05:26 PM

Come on, Em -- At least the fellas are taken the part of the girl in this case!

OK, guys, I'm watching this thread like a hawk for entry into the Mudcat Songbook . . . now, where are the verses about the 'cotton tail,' the high-heeled shoes, the little button cuffs, and the bodice that squeezes ya 'like your drunken cousin at a wedding'???? Do I need a double dog dare here??

Loving every line, Áine

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 05:35 PM

Your smile quickly fades, and your spirits do fail
When first you go forth in the vile Cotton Tail
In the smoke and confusion and the noise of the band!
Then your cotton tail falls to a customer's hand!

Cho.

Oh the bodice it crimps you and gives you false airs
And the high heels are murder, when climbing the stairs
And the drunks are disgusting, the horny old tubs!
Bad cess and farewell to the Gentlemen's Club!

Chorus:

Oh it's dark as a dungeon, and damp as the dew!
Where the dangers are many, and the gentlemen few!
For the guests are as randy as a billy goat's cub!
Oh, it's dark as a dungeon in the Gentlemen's Club!

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Áine
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 05:43 PM

Amos, you are a wonder! I think even dear Gloria Steinam would fall down laughing if she saw this one!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 01:03 AM

Lonesome EJ:

AIne wants to know when this song is finished! So add a wrap so we can put it behind us. It was your inspiration and I filled in the middle (actually I have filled in the middle more than I care to admit anymore!!)

A

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: emily rain
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 01:20 AM

Áine --

hope yer not interpreting my remark as parade-raining. : ) nothing could be farther from the truth.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Charlie Baum
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 01:24 AM

Go tell my baby sister
Not to do the things I've done
To go way down to Chicago-town
To the house of the rising bun(ny)
.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 01:41 AM

I fear, as I age, and the days roll along
That someday my stomach will cover my thong
Then I'll sunbathe on the porch at the Old Playmate's Home
And pity those geezers still a-diggin' my bones

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Áine
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 05:12 AM

I told you guys I was watching this like a hawk!

LEJ, Amos, you're little 'morality tail' (!) is now on the Mudcat Songbook, so that it can instruct all the Mudkittens on the 'proper' way to lead their lives. (Excuse me while I cough violently at this point). . . Anyway, good work my friends!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 09:02 AM

Well that's jes' fine, says bug!!

In truth the first two verses were conceived to a different tune ("Virginia's Bloody Soil") while the rest was built on the meter of the labor song "Dark as a Dungeon, Way Down in The Mines". But they scan "close enough for folk music" so let them ride along. LEJ, your closing verse was a slam bang classic! I love it.

A

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 03 Jan 11 - 03:08 PM

They say don't go to the Playboy Mansion.
If you do, better take yore knife.
'Cause Hughie Hefner has some purty young Playmates
Though they say he's took one for his wife.
You don't know which one he has chosen,
'Cause they all look purty much the same.
They're all top-heavy, slim an' slender,
An' they're all about one-fourth his age.

Subject: RE: Help: Playboy Playmates...and songs about them
From: Jane of 'ull
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 01:39 PM

Great stuff I like it!