Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Scotty
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 04:17 AM

Don't know if this is the one your looking for, but is good too.

Are You Lonesome Tonight….Revised Version


Are you lonesome tonight? Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your mylanta and tums?
Does your memory stray, To that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding? Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her, And its prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain? Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Is your blood pressure up? Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit, Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run like A well oiled machine.
If it's football or baseball, He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at But forgets what it's for.
So your gallbladder's gone, But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

When you're hungry, he's not, When you're cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light, He goes left and you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic, So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such A cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets, It's as good as it gets,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Subject: Lyr Add: ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT (Turk/Handman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 11:04 AM

Although there are parodies galore, I haven't found where anybody has posted the original.

Copied from The Guitar Guy:


ARE YOU LONESOME TO-NIGHT?
Words and music by Roy Turk and Lou Handman
New York: Bourne, Inc., 1926.

VERSE: Tonight I'm downhearted, for though we have parted,
I love you and I always will;
And while I'm so lonely, I'm writing you only
To see if you care for me still.

CHORUS: Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a bright summer day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain? Shall I come back again?
Tell me, dear: are you lonesome tonight?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 03:42 PM

For someone who was in high school when Elvis first made noise, I was more concerned with the fact that girls were suddenly interested in guys with D.A.("duck's ass") haircuts, pompadours and Brylcreem sheen instead of conventional looking farm kids like me. But, truth to be told, I did take up the guitar. I wish I could say he had nothing to do with it, but by now I'm not even sure myself!

His early stuff ("Hound Dog," "Heartbreak Hotel," "Jailhouse Rock," etc.) was the best, I believe. I think it would have been interesting to see how his career might have developed had he not "gone Vegas."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: Peter the Squeezer
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 03:57 PM

It's easy to knock Elvis - but when you look at the rubbish that was around before, and at the time when he had his first hits - this stuff, the early Rock & Roll, stands out like a beacon.

If Presley hadn't done what he did, then those who followed - Lennon, Dylan, Simon, Jagger, etc, would not have been able to follow, producing the quality for which we admire them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: Genie
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 11:08 PM

You can find several audio/videos of Elvis singing the "bald head" ad lib version of this song at YouTube.

Here is one:
Elvis Presley: "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" - laughing version.

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,aitoid
Date: 25 Apr 10 - 04:41 PM

The laughing version of AYLT is here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?t2jgokazjn1

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,Spike
Date: 02 May 10 - 06:50 PM

Wellllllllllll, here are the lyrics I know, as taught tome by my adored ane missed uncle Pete Brennan (as he was known stage wise, Hornsby to those who were close) who owned the Lady la Gross in Beverly a few years ago, and was responsible for me starting in "the biz" at age 16, 34 years ago !!!
Thanks unc, God bless - Spike.

Are you lonesome tonight
Is your brassier to tight
Are you sorry they've drifted apart.
Does your little string vest
Wriggle up to your chest,
If it does, can you tear them apart.
Are your stockings all wrinkled,
your shoes wearing thin,
Are your knickers held up,
With a bloody great pin.
Have you found a new lover,
Does he give you "the other"
if he does,
I'll be lonely tonight.

Well, it WAS the 70's !!!!

Spike

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,fox4zero
Date: 04 Sep 11 - 01:18 PM

About fifteen or twenty years ago I had an elderly female patient who
sang a parody of "Are You Lonesome..." which she said dated back to
about 1928. It concerned a murder wherein someone was killed with
a cast iron sash weight. Anyone familiar with that version? Larry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: fox4zero
Date: 06 Sep 11 - 12:42 AM

I finally located the 1927 murder case.....Snyder-Gray case in NY. But still haven't found the parody.
Larry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Mar 12 - 02:23 PM

I love this one and I have not been able to find it. I would appreceiate it if you would do the rest of the song.

Thanks,
Franny

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Mar 12 - 02:28 PM

That's the one, thank you.

Franny

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,lndrini
Date: 11 Feb 13 - 02:06 AM

here's the utube link ...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3lcTyR5T-w

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,Fantum
Date: 11 Feb 13 - 01:12 PM

Murray

The words below are the version I sing and the song has been adapted foe an English audience, in the USA the words used in some of the excellent posts above are probably more acceptable you have to decide which arrangement you like.
I do not sing the fourth verse I think its a bit cruel funny yes but still to cruel. That's mainly because I sing to older people and I prefer the women in the audience on my side not looking for my blood.
As a song it works for me and I hope you have similar success.
Fantum

SENIOR'S LAMENT

Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight.
Are you eating your all bran and prunes,
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth in your gums.
Is your hair line receding
Are your eyes growing dim,
Hysterectomy for her and prostate for him.
Does your back gives you pain do your knees predict rain.
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.

Is your blood pressure up Good cholesterol down
Are you eating your low-fat cuisine
All the oat bran and fruit X lax to boot
Helps you run like a well-oiled machine
If it's football or cricket He sure knows the score
Yes he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for
Has your gall bladder's gone does the gout lingers on
Tell me dear are your lonesome tonight.

When you're hungry he's not When you're cold he is hot
Then you start that old thermostat war
When you turn off the light
He goes left you go right
Then you get his great symphonic snore
He was once so romantic So witty and smart
How did he turn out to be such a grumpy old fart
So don't take any bets It's as good as it gets
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.

Are you lonesome tonight? Is your brassiere too tight?
Are your corsets all falling apart?
Does your big flabby chest wear two holes in your vest?
Does your spare tire reach up to your heart?
Are your stockings all laddered?
Are your shoes wearing thin?
Are your knickers held up with a big safety pin?
Are you frightened to yawn 'cause your teeth have all gone?
It's no wonder you're lonesome tonight

Are you lonesome tonight? If you are, serves you right,
I'm so lucky I've lost you at last,
I can still hear you roar wash the pots clean the floor,
Do the laundry and then cut the grass.
You took me for a boat ride, I had to swim back,
Darling I never thought, I'd get out of that sack.
If you fly in again
Park your broom and come in
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.

So, I'll miss you my pet, every chance that I get.
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.