BS: Hell hath no fury

Subject: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 06:41 AM

Old woman to judge: " Your honor, I'm 86. I was sitting on my porch when a young man came and sat down beside me. We talked, then he started stroking my leg. It felt good. Then he stroked my old boobs. It was wonderful..then he felt me up, and I said "Take me!" he said "April fool!" and thats when I shot the son of a bitch!"

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Mooh
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 08:43 AM

Good song material, that. Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: JedMarum
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 10:20 AM

good story kendall

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 10:24 AM

Song Title: Men When You're Young Never Tease an Ol'Gal. ROTFLMAO Aye. Makes me eyes water..Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 10:32 AM

Kendall, with jokes like that it's a wonder that YOU weren't shot long ago. I'll bet a few tried and missed!

Hope you're well, buddy.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 11:02 AM

Thanks Rick..if I was any better, I'd be twins. oh oh, with spaw around, this could take a nasty turn..

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: GUEST,hollowfox
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 02:23 PM

Rick, you're just a youn slip of a thing, that's why you can't get away with it. Think about it; someone like Faith Petric, rightly or wrongly, is considered an "elder" (an age-ist statement in the wrong hands. Elder in experience and wisdom, yes, but she qualified for that decades ago. Elder in the chronological sense of elderly, that's the "wrongly" sense). She can get away with singing songs like "I'm looking for a woman with a chainsaw" and "Chopped Libber" in the most rabidly PC places (she lives in San Fransisco, after all). Some of the same people that applaud her performances would be offended by other performers doing the same songs.

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: GUEST,Ickle Dorritt
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 03:35 PM

I was that old woman............

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 03:42 PM

he asked for it

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Apr 00 - 05:18 PM

Wondered what happened to Mother.......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Iodine
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 01:05 AM

i have seen better jokes, this one is so old it has holes, but he deservrd a bullet to the head lol

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 12:41 PM

It was the best I could do on short notice. I'm sure you know that ALL jokes are old. They are only new to one who has never heard them.

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 12:56 PM

Kendall, I have not heard that joke. The only thing I can say is, next time you are on a first date and you would like to impress the woman you are with, I suggest you think of some other joke to tell.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 05:51 PM

Hell.. SHE told it to ME!! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 06:46 PM

Now that is pretty funny Kendall(big smile on my face)
Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 07:01 PM

I'm sorry if I offended anyone with that tasteless piece of trash. It's just that I'm into justice.

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: GUEST,Purity
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 07:19 PM

If you do not want to offend, do not post. Your folksie persona is ridculous and can only detrimental to this forum. Is it so boring to be you that you have to rent a character from catspaw who has no place here either.

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 07:24 PM

Really? and what the hell is YOUR place?

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: GUEST,PUSTULE
Date: 02 Apr 00 - 08:06 PM

¡¡PUSTULE ALERT !!

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 09:57 AM

Well Kendall, what can I say? Thanks for the message. When I got back last night after a going through a long weekend of 3-D troubles, I find I have several messages ranging from a couple of folks wanting to know what was going on my former foster child, to one accusing me of being the complete downfall of Mudcat, to yours, which I found was hilarious! The stuff is really getting absurd isn't it?

Today begins a freakin' two month stretch of jury duty which I couldn't get out of and I suppose I will overjoy the pustules (what the hell is this "pustule alert" anyway?) by being around here less. As to your "persona".......Kendall, I want you to stop using "Persona FM521/9" as you have not made the installment payment due to keep the account current. Please submit your payment today or cease and desist!

If you want to change personas, I suggest you contact others on this forum who seem to be setting up quite a few!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 11:41 AM

"I wanna be you!!!" I wonder how he knew it is so boring being me? LMAO

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 08:04 AM

Kendall, it was a great joke, keep 'em coming - I'm still recovering from tonsilitis (temp of 38.8 that had both cats snuggling up like I was a radiator) and need a good laugh! That's what life is about, had enough of pustules on the back of my throat, as well as here. Give me a good giggle any day, and as those who have heard me will tell, I have a GOOD giggle!

LTS

Catspaw - missed you terribly, the standard of puns and excruciation humour has only been kept up here by Kendall. Good luck on the jury service, take a good book with you!!

LTS again.....

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Hollowfox
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 10:20 AM

Purity, you obviously haven't met Kendall. Kendall, if you're ever in a workshop with, say, Faith Petric or Helen Schneyer on tasteful, refined humor, can I have a tape of it, please?

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: kendall
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 11:43 AM

LMAOROTF

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Songster Bob
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 03:43 PM

A propos of nothing -- Hell haath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Bob C.

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Hollowfox
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 04:25 PM

I thought it was "Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns.

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 04:53 PM

Bob C, that was a good one.
I once saw a great bumper sticker on the back of a Mercedes-Benz Convertable.......

WAS HIS

Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 04:55 PM

OOOOOps,
I meant it was a personalized license plate