The war betwn the US & Canada

Subject: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:07 AM

A recent thread has reaised an interesting question, Should the US and Canada go to war against each other, and if so, why?
Well... In my opinion, contrary to that I expressed in the post - where would I go to evade the draft, I now remember, looking in the mirror at my grey hair, it is unlikely I would be drafted, and so, for the first time in my life, war looks like a good option! So, I would say, send in the marines, because...
1. We may loose, as Canada is not Grenada... and then we'd get a working health care system...
2. We could all say "eh..." eh?
3. Canadaian comidians would not have to leave Canada to come to the US and get jobs... They could come to Chicago and stay in Canada.
Now, when I was in law school, a professor there said that he worked with a group from the Canadian Maritime provences who where looking into American Statehood if Quebec quit the nation... The last good reason to fight a war with Canada would be to settle the issue of the Canadian Maritime Provences,... They would extend down to Florida...
Hawkishly knashing my teath at you Molson drinking, Moose eaters up north - our future masters
Larry

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:14 AM

Hey Larry, ANYTHING that would force Americans to learn a LITTLE bit about our country would help.

Actually we're probably better off the less they know!

Rick

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:23 AM

I agree... When Genie and I used to go to Quebec for vactions in the 80's it was affordable and there were VERY few of our countryfolk there, then after Locherbie, folks got scared of flying and the Place d'Royal became filled with folks saying in loud voces "Hey Martha, Look at all the CUTE french people!" and the prices shot up through the roof! Now we have to go up to Sept Illes before we can find any peace and quiet - well quiet except for the sound of saws creating a grey waistland where there once where hunter gatherer natives hunting Carabou and Salmon... Hey, even Canada has it's faults,... eh?
Cheers, neighbor,
Larry

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Wotcha
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:33 AM

Of course in a few years the Canadians may not offer an armed force to oppose ... they made their airborne forces disappear at a stroke of the pen (they were naughty boys in Somalia ...)... and they tried to suppress interservice rivalry in the 60s by calling all their forces the Canadian Armed Forces (they have air and naval elements which still insist on wearing a different colour uniform than the land forces).
Maybe if they militarize their rugby teams, they'll do ok. They can certainly sing ... although "North Atlantic Squadron" should only be used in the most offensive of combined arms operations.
Cheers,
Brian

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:39 AM

Canada with no army!? OUR KINDA WAR! How dare you threaten our great nation by sending bears accross the boarder! Put 'em up Canada!

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:10 PM

Shall we vote?

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:20 PM

If so, better have Canada doing the counting...

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM

Hey, if we had a third of the American Defense budget, Canada would have the world's greatest fighting force. But it doesn't matter anyways.... Americans were so worried about their election that while everyones attention was on Florida, we had a full month and had taken over parts of New England. Until we realized what we were getting, then gave it back.

and speaking about elections, we had ours a week or so after the American one started... Us crazy canucks must have done something right, they declared the winner an hour and a half after the polls closed. And they didn't have to take it back. Our ballots are simple, a piece of paper with the names and an empty circle beside each one. You make a mark with a pencil (remember those things from school?) in the circle matching the person you want to vote for. It doesn't matter what kind of mark you make..... an 'X', a checkmark, a smily face, road map to grandma's, it all works. And i hope you Americans enjoy the next 4 years as you will never hear the end of this mess you made. Gore was cheated, or the other side, sayin Gore was a sore loser. Bush's reign will always be the 'what-if' presidency.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:35 PM

Hey Devilmaster!
Make sure you guys attack during a US election! We wont notice until it's over! - Larry

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:36 PM

and btw, i dont care who won your election....

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:37 PM

well with a whole month to attack, i dont think it would be too terribly hard at all. Just tell all the americans were comin down to help them in the election.... classic trojan horse

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM

I think Jimmy Kimmel said it best..... Between Al Gore and George Bush, you have a better selection of meals on an airplane....... flying coach...... from Calcutta to Timbuktu.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Naemanson
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 01:55 PM

You know, this would be the second time the US and Canada went to war! I grew up near one of the old forts established dureing the famous(?) Aroostook War. I took the following from: http://homepages.rootsweb.com/~godwin/reference/aroostook.html

The Aroostook War was an undeclared, bloodless "war" that occured in 1839. The peace treaty in 1783 had not satisfactorily determined what is the boundary between New Brunswick and what is now Maine. The boundary dispute worsened after Maine gained statehood (1820) and, disregarding British claims, began granting land to settles in the valley of the Aroostook River. The king of the Netherlands was asked to arbitrate the disbute, but the U.S. Senate rejected his award in 1832, although the British accepted it.

Canadian lumberjacks entered the Aroostook region to cut timber during the winter of 1838-1839, and in February they seized the American land agent who had been dispatched to expel them. The "war" was now under way. Maine and New Brunswick called out their militiamen, and Congress, at the instigation of Maine, authorized a force of 50,000 men and appropriated $10 million to meet the emergency. Maine actually sent 10,000 troops to the disputed area. President Martin Van Buren dispatched General Winfield Scott to the "war" zone, and Scott arranged an agreement (March 1839) between officials of Maine and New Brunswick that averted actual fighting. Britain agreed to refer the dispute to a boundary commission, and the matter settled in 1842 by the Webster-Ashburton Treaty.

The compromise reached by Daniel Webster and 1st Baron Ashburton (Alexander Baring) awarded 7,015 square miles to the United States and 5,012 to Great Britain. Retention by the British of the northern area assured them of year-round overland military communications with Montreal. Webster used a map, said to have been marked with a red line by Benjamin Franklin at Paris in 1782, in persuading Maine and Massachusetts to accept the agreement. Britain agreed to pay these states $150,000 each, and they were to be reimbursed by the United States for expenses incurred defending the area against encroachment.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:20 PM

Damn, during the late sixties I housed a lot of draft resistors, now I'd have to BE one! Hmmmm, guess I could go to Quebec.

Rick

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:22 PM

Ya learn sumat ever day! Thanks for the info! - Larry

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mousethief
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:31 PM

I think it's so cute the way Canadians think they're an independent nation.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:43 PM

All we would do is remove the road signs and your army would be totally lost. Even if they did find Canada we could just re-direct them to shoot at Detroit...(Detroit would shoot back, and they would end up invading the USA and defeating themselves in the confusion)

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: SeanM
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:54 PM

"When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion!"

Reason enough right there, if you ask me.

M

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Susan of DT
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:01 PM

(from dick greenhaus) Canadians are already preparing for an invasion of the US! Over 80 percent of the Canadian population is massed within 100 miles of the border!

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Skeptic
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM

Not to mention the insidous infiltration of agent provocateurs who flock to Florida every fall and winter. I mean, can we really be sure that the whole elction fiasco in Florida wasn't part of a subverse effort to soften up the US for a spring invasion?

Well, go ahead and invade. And win. That'll show you.

Regards John

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM

Yup, we're all ready at the start line, fully equipped with snowshoes, prefab igloos, phony beaver tails that stick on with velcro, plastic moose antlers, baseball caps on backwards, and Canadian Tire money in case we run out of rations while investing Washington...

Ready or not, eh? Here we come!

- LH

p.s. BTW, we're all sort of hoping that Quebec does secede and joins the USA. If so, within 4 years or less your whole financial and political situation will be so buggered up that you'll beg us to walk in and take over...

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: John Hardly
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:32 PM

Who says "Imminent Domain" is finished?

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Hollowfox
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:34 PM

Well, let's not forget the famous Pig War of 1839. That's the one that started when an Englishman's pig was shot by a Yank (it was probably rooting in his garden) on San Juan Island (on the border of what are now British Columbia and Washington state). It had never been established just which sovereign nation actually owned the island, and both countries sent troops. The soldiers and warships spent a summer there without a shot being fired, and in the end a pfennig was tossed. The United States got the islands, and very pretty they are, too.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: MarkS
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:50 PM

The problems in Florida were caused by Canadian snowbirds voting in the recent election. (Not being a citizen not much of a bar to voting in Florida anyway). Only used to marking a paper ballot with pencil, they found the Vote-O-Matic machines confusing and the rest is history. As the song goes, for troubles in the USA
Blame Canada!
MarkS

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 10:10 PM

What is it that you would like to know Rick? Or. I should say, what do you think WE should know? If you think we are ignorant about Canada...you should watch Jay Leno doing his Jwalking. Those geeks cant even find the USA!! let alone Canada.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:03 PM

Jeez Kendall, wouldn't apply to you anyway. Mainers are honorary canucks! You got the weather, the accents, the music, and the toughness. Hell, I'll bet you've shoveled a few tonnes of snow in your day. (Like I've been doin' this week)

Although it WOULD be nice if Yanks knew that we haven't had any British influence on our Govt. in over a hundred years. The only Royal figure that'll be giving us direction will be Dubya!

Rick

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:36 PM

You have a Government in Canada? Why? Whats there to govern? Buncha moose and a few Frenchies in Quebec and the rest is ice and snow and pine trees.
Did the Queen give you permission to say that?
And someone needs to tell you guys that snowmobiles don't work where there ain't no snow! Betcha didn't know that didja? Most of the US is NOT snow-bound most of the year. Yer gonna look REAL silly trompin' down the beach in snowshoes.

troll

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 05:12 AM

Devilmaster, don't be quite so sanguine about your quick election results. The US has had many an election where the winner was projected afternoon of election day. No problem- except that people farther west lost their motivation to vote.

However: That works fine ONLY if the election isn't close. This year's US election was basically a tie. If you in Canada had the same situation you might well also have a mess, IMO. Until one gets to recounting, you really have no way of knowing how accurate the published results are. And may never know.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Willie-O
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:31 AM

Dave TAM, we don't need to take down the signs. They can't read 'em anyway.

Only way most Americans seem to be able to get their bearings at all is by asking "is that close to Toronto?" Doesn't work too well east of Quebec City.

And obscure little fracas's in the east and west aside, we have of course had a real war with the States--1812 to 1814 it was. Who won is still debated, but we definitely did remodel that thar White House.

Me and my gang are invading New England next week...

Willie-O, loading up the syrup bombs

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:33 AM

Yeah! and look at what we elected....Politicians who fail to do what they promise, spend money on stupid personal gain motivated issues, and allow the medicare system to crash out of control for lack of money; then blame everyone else for the debt. Not to mention the minister who lost millions (creative accounting?) and was re-elected with a majority dictatorship anyway... Only In Canada eh? pity! (us)

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 08:03 AM

Hey MT!

Tell ya what... we'll have a war, but fight in such subjects as math, geography and world history!

What's the percentage of americans who can't find thier own hometown on an unmarked map of their state??? How myopic do you have to be?

;-)

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Naemanson
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 09:39 AM

Thw War of 1812 was between Britain and the US. Canada was just a convenient territory from which to base Britain's operations.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 12:54 PM

Clinton, that's what you get when your government offers up bread and circuses. There's no longer a need to think for yourself.

troll

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 01:31 PM

Troll... you say that almost like it's a good thing??

;-)

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM

Hey Kendall, it's not so hard for us Canadians to find the USA as you think. We just follow the smog trail. :-)

As for looking funny walking down the beach in snowshoes. Hey, we have cornered the market on looking funny, and we're proud of it. Jim Carrey, William Shatner, John Candy, Joe Clark, John Diefenbaker...take it from me, Canadians know how to look funny. It's one of the choicest weapons in our arsenal. While they're doubled over laughing we kick 'em in the you-know-where!

- LH

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:15 PM

No, Clinton. I say it sorrowfully.

troll

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: ddw
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM

Here in Windsor the ones who realize they're part of Canada still think Canada WON the War of 1812 — they made the U.S. keep Detroit.

;-) david

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 08:25 PM

Our riding had a judicial recount, which was completed in one day plus one evening. T.W.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM

How hard is it to count 37 votes? ***BG***

troll

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM

hey troll, how hard is it to count 37 votes? add metro-dade.......

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM

excuse me..... ask metro-dade

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 08:58 AM

Well, I sure wouldn't want to invade a place that call a hockey team "the Ducks:, doesn't have Tim Hortons, thinks South Park is funny and elects Gw as President. Nope, I'll just stay here and watch it all from a distance...a safe ditance.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:12 AM

Personally I'm against a war with Canada. Why should we do to them what we've done with this country? I really didn't want to see GWjr inflicted on this country. Why would I wish that on Canada? I do hope in all seriousness, we're all having a little bit of fun and this doesn't become an ugly thread. I am proud to be an American but Dad was born in North Bay, Ontario. (We Americans should remember that anyone from either North or SOuth America is an American) Having said that I have to ask the Canadians Do yopu really want dominion over Rosanne Barr? Think about this for a second! You'd also have to have dominion over such stellar personages as Newt Gingrich, Trent Lott, Charles MAnson and dare I say it, Bill Clinton. Kindest reguards, Neil

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Willie-O
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:22 AM

Irish Sarge, I know you mean it in a friendly way but we don't want to be "Americans". I have gone on at length about this before...suffice it to say that we prefer to keep the St Lawrence River, the Great Lakes and the 49th parallel between us and youse Americans.

Even without the likes of R Barr, T Lott and WJ Clinton aside, we have enough assholes up here already! the You Ess has no monopoly on producing them...

Interestingly enough we would also regain dominion over Neil Young and who needs that...

Dave TAM, I completely agree with you about the deficiencies of our current government--even if not about the solution!

W-O

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST,John Leeder
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 12:19 PM

Don't forget the ever-popular War of 1812, North American Sector. Peter Whalley wrote, "Little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost." Actually it was more of a draw -- but a draw between the U.S. and British North America as it existed in 1812 was actually a win for us. We burned Washington, you burned York (now known as Toronto) -- not exactly an even swap in those days. Even nowadays, burning Toronto would be seen as doing us a favour by the rest of the country. (I'm being facetious, as a former Torontonian, back in the days when it was liveable.)

Some sources give a lot of credit to the Canadian militia, others say the British regulars won it all and the local contribution was negligible. Choose your historian with care, to support whichever version of the legend you prefer.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 01:18 PM

Hell, I'll march north just for the Sleeman's Honey Brown. Mike Bennett

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM

Welcome to Canada Mike,

Sleemans is only a start. Moosehead, Alexander Keiths and a bunch of good Micro Breweries combined with a lot of fine music should entice you. I woul recommend that you wait until April to start your March, it's usually bearable here by then.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM

Perhaps we should declare war on Canada just to force them to take back Detroit. And Neil Diamond.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST,John Leeder
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:44 PM

Come west, Mike, and try some Big Rock.

Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:51 PM

Mousethief;

Them's fightin' words.