Over 50-s 'Man-band'?

Subject: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 06:20 AM

This news from today's London Times offers hope for those of us who if not yet over the hill, are at least in sight of the summet.,Br.You will be relieved to know I'm not one of those who've applied to join!
Story follows:
Kizzi Nkwocha, a publicist, has been advertising for performers aged 50 and over with a view to assembling — in front of the TV cameras — a singing pop group of mature vintage, a "sort of pre-geriatric Hear'Say", as one commentator described it.

Nkwocha is said to be looking for "the hidden Tom Joneses, the pop stars who may have been overlooked because of the obsession with boy bands", and he has struck a chord — more than 2,500 hopefuls replied to his ad.

And why shouldn't they? After all, there is nothing wrong with ageing pop stars, per se. The Rolling Stones are still superb performers. Eric Clapton and Carlos Santana retain their technical skill as guitarists, while drawing inspiration from a deeper pool of emotions than was available in their youth.

And at this year's Bishopstock Festival, the UK's biggest blues festival, Ray Charles (70), Taj Mahal (60) and Buddy Guy (64) will top the bill.

So it doesn't require too great a leap of the imagination to dream up a fantasy "man band" from the ranks of today's fiftysomething stars.

A line-up of crooners featuring, say, Mick Jagger, Rod Stewart, Van Morrison, Tom Jones and Bryan Ferry would be unlikely to find a rehearsal room big enough to accommodate a collection of such huge egos.

Old rivalries and jealousies would quickly surface. Nor would it be easy to locate a song that could encompass such a diversity of singing styles, from Jagger's yobbo blues shout to Ferry's lounge-lizard drawl.

If backing musicians were needed, we could put Sir Paul McCartney on bass, Jeff Beck on guitar, Sir Elton John on piano and Charlie Watts on drums. Again, the likely result would be collective anarchy and musical cacophony as the participants jostled for pole position, while their managers met in the next room to try to arrive at a mutually agreeable formula for dividing the royalties.

Of course, it's a bit late to start forming a band in your fifties, at least when everyone is meant to be on an equal footing. The Traveling Wilburys — featuring George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, the late Roy Orbison and Jeff Lynne — was a rare exception, and they were mostly in their forties and doing it on a strictly part-time basis.

But pop is no longer exclusively a young person's game; older musicians have more experience and a stronger sense of identity than the ingenues who were recruited to Hear'Say. The business of manufacturing a pop band is probably best left to those whose musical personalities are as unsullied as a blank sheet of paper.

And just because the youngsters have proved that they can make a terrible (if profitable) pop group out of thin air doesn't mean the 50-year-olds have to go and do it as well, does it?

RtS

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Whistle Stop
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 08:21 AM

Well Roger, I'm 42, so while I don't fit into the "over 50" demographic, I'm definitely too old to be in a boy band. But I'm out there gigging most weekends with a band of my peers, and having a great time at it. I agree that putting Mick, Rod, and Elton together into a band would not work out too well because of battling egos. But most of us haven't spent most of our lives as mega-famous rock stars, so our egos can be kept in check. And we bring a greater musical sophistication and maturity to our efforts than the twenty-somethings can.

My guess is that many of the applicants want to do this for money, fame, or the possibility of recapturing their youth. Those of us who are motivated primarily by a love for music (and who have accepted the fact that we'll probably never get rich or famous from it) will find another, more satisfying outlet.

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 10:43 AM

I think we oughta add Spaw -- in the rhythm section. Four-four-flatulence. A fine art!

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 10:46 AM

Dang I love them Wilburys!!!

Let's all do the Wilbury Twist!

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Bugsy
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 10:47 AM

Where does one get an application from.

I'd come back from Aussie for this one!

Cheers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 11:58 AM

When Judy Knight had her 50th birthday party at Whitby she had an all girl band (not all over 50, I might add). So it was suggested that some of us ought to do a Boy Band thing. 'We'd be just like Westlife' someone suggested. Came back the answer 'More like Pond Life'.

Les

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Jim the Bart
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 06:23 PM

I can just see the tour promo: Polygrip and Depends presents, live (last time we looked) the Band o'Coots!

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 07:02 PM

Except for the drummer, my entire band is over 50. Sean's a mere lad of 39.

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Cobble
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 08:05 PM

This one was on the news, not to put anyone of, but they are looking for men over fifty that look about 10 or 15 years younger with a full head of hair.

Counts me out Cobble.

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 08:40 PM

And never trust anyone over 30. No, make that 40. No make that 50.....

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Apr 01 - 09:00 PM

ATTENTION, ATTENTION. BE ADVISED THAT AN EMERGENCY BOARD MEETING OF PATTERSON, SWAN, FIELDING AND LANE, LAYABOUTS AT LARGE, PC;CD;FU;KMA; AND ROFLMAO IS CALLED FOR THE EARLIEST DATE AVAILABLE TO THE MANAGING PARTNERS. BUSINESS ON THE AGENDA FOR DISCUSSION IS LIMITED TO PLANNING FOR OUR TOUR OF THE UNITED STATES, CANADA, BARBADOS AND MRS. SWANSON'S CHICKEN COUP AS THE AGED BUT STILL SEXY OVER 50 BOY BAND.. MR. SWAN, YOU WILL HAVE TO OBTAIN FAKE ID TO BE INCLUDED. THIS REPRESENTS A CHANCE FOR OUR FIRM, MAKE THAT FLABBY, TO LAND A MAJOR TOUR. PLEASE COME, MAKE THAT ARRIVE, PREPARED TO SET THE REPERTOIRE OF RAP, AND POP MUSIC PLAYED ON THE WASHTUB, AGING MARTIN GUITARS, AND HAMMERED DULCIMER. ALL INSTRUMENTS WILL BE RIGGED WITH STICK ON MIC'S RUN THROUGH A FUZZ TONE. I KNEW OUR DAY WOULD COME........ER ....... ARRIVE.

MICK THE SCHEDULER

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 05 Apr 01 - 03:58 AM

Love it, Mick. Now for a band name. If the "Popstars" band is called HearSay (I refuse to use their stupid meaningless apostrophe) yours could be called "Say What?" (better than The Fogeys anyway!)
They'd probably want one of those silly dance routines though, could be original to use TWO canes each!
RtS

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 05 Apr 01 - 12:02 PM

or how about Viagra Jones ?

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 05 Apr 01 - 12:51 PM

Jeez Roger, try and find a "Skiffle Band" (your specialty) where the band members are under SEVENTY! I've suddenly realized why Skifflers always have a Washtub bass in the band...it's to carry the 'expired' band member home after the gig.

Now Big Old Mick may have the best of intentions, but seriously, he IS a WW2 vet, and knows all those old Union songs, which by my account makes him at least 84. Any Musical tour would have to include a Proctologist, as well as individual Roadies to help the members onto the stage. And what about that "staple" of touring...GROUPIES? Well I suppose a few surviving DAR (Daughters of The American Revolution) members could be rounded up to make things look good...but even THEY would soon find out that the Band Members' members were merely a memory.

And while we're on this "Honesty" kick (I've been terribly influenced by the Bush Administration's 'tell it like it is' attitude) just because we have 'younger wives' doesn't put us on the cutting edge of the 'new folk music'. Frankly I doubt if Big Old Mick even KEEPS a diary, let alone sets it to music in DADGAD tuning. Catspaw? Sorry to let you in on a little secret folks, but his "Stick Dulcimers" are actually "Walking stick dulcimers"!

No, I'm afraid that "Fireman Dave" Swan may be the ONLY member with some of that youthful enthusiasm left in him (and that's just a sham, designed to keep Pam from running off with whistling Gypsies!) Actually she's just waiting for a Gypsie who ACTUALLY knows how to "wraggle Taggle" and she's off!

However if we can get sent to the same 'Elder Hostel' the rafters will ring! (if we still remember the chords!)

Rick

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Apr 01 - 01:26 PM

The "ticket" here Rick is to include Skiff. As the Managing Director and Chief Bedpan Cleaner at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, he's in a great position to get us into a steady gig. As I am simply the CEO, a figurehead position, we need Skiff because at the Center, he's the guy who has his hands in everything.....uh, so to speak. Additionally, I think he downplays his skills on kazoo, since I know at the Center he always messing with someone's kazoo.

As to the age problem of Mr. Swan, a recent setback in his high diving act may be a help here. Leaping from the 90 foot level instead of the usual 120, he ignited his fart as per usual, expecting to rocket into the fire helmet below. A miscalculation in the previous night's supper caused a pre-ignition and kicked his ass into afterburner. The fire helmet with it's 3 incches of water turned out to be insufficient in this case and he landed with such force that his nuts were jammed up under his third thoracic vertebra. He now walks and talks like a man three times his actual age, although he now sings like Beverly Sills.

BTW, I've opted for a new design on the walking stick dulcimers which will be convenient for aging codgers having to move equipment. I've noe gone to strictly "walkers" with a different instrument on each leg and bodhrans attached at the bottom for wheels. A stick dulcimer at the left rear and a 5-string on the right rear. Now don't mention this to Mick, but I had his Guild 12 shipped to me and it (or pieces thereof) are now the left front. As soon as "Woody" arrives, I'll mount it as the right front. Heather says it should be here by Friday as she shipped it while you were feverish and mucking about with the uke. I figure if we hang a tiple from one handlebar and a dobro from the other, we can all carry our own kazoos.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: GUEST,marty D (at work)
Date: 05 Apr 01 - 06:23 PM

I can't decide whether you guys are frustrated musicians or frustrated comedians, but either way DON'T STOP!

Is 46 too young or too old to be in a "man band"? One of these days I'm actually going to listen to some skiffle meusic so I know what you are always talking about.

Martin

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Hawker
Date: 05 Apr 01 - 07:32 PM

Over 50s man band?
if the teenage 'popstars' are called 'Hearsay' how about the more mature ones being called 'Eh?'
Personally I'd like to see a tv show where they create a new folk band!
Lucy

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 06 Apr 01 - 04:02 AM

Probably the only band where the onstage monitors have to be turned up louder than the public PA!
BTW I was hitting my kazoo with a table tennis bat to punish it for playing out of tune. One of the other inmates asked if he could help. I replied "No, I prefer to paddle my own kazoo".
Yes, I'm a frustrated non-musician, and (as I've just proved) non-comedian!
I think we'd need someone like young Matt as a roadie to carry the gear, point us in the right direction, drive the ambulance and fill in on all the instrumente each time one of the band has to leave the stage.... and make sure we all take our medication.
RtS

Subject: RE: Over 50-s 'Man-band'?
From: Luke
Date: 06 Apr 01 - 08:52 AM

Single word names are best. "HUH?" is my suggestion.