BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 02:32 PM

Yes. Very beautiful and agreeable city.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: Little Robyn
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 06:04 PM

I got a parking ticket in Newcastle, just by the High Level bridge, back in 1972. I was so upset I nearly headed straight back to NZ but instead I stopped for a cup of tea with Colin Ross and Ray Fisher - and spent the next week in Monkseaton, following the High Level Ranters and having the best week of my holiday! Taking publicity photos under the gibbet for "A mile to ride" and having my picture in the Hexham Courant.
Yes, I've been to Geordie land!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 12:17 AM

A Geordie boy writing about his holidays on the first day back to school wrote, "Me and me dad, us went fishing."

The teacher looked over his shoulder and said, "We went fishing!"

"Why," exclaimed the lad in a puzzled tone, "me and me dad."

Whee gets that one? Or should I put it into the "Jokes people don't get" thread?

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: Gurney
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 12:34 AM

I told this story in a Kiwi folk club a couple of weeks ago. It got two laughs. Guess how many Geordies were in the room.

There was a little school up there receiving a visit from the Schools Inspector, who was a bible-basher. He was impressed by the school, but couldn't resist banging his drum, so he held up a small coin and said;
"The first child who can answer this question will win this sixpence! Who threw Daniel into the lion's den?"

Dead silence.

"Come on, children. Who threw Daniel into the lions den?

Much looking blankly at each other, then a mutter from the back.

"Come on, that boy, speak up! What did you say?"

"AAA SID, NOOO BUGGAH KNAAS, SIR!"

"Well done, young man, very well done! Here's your sixpence!


But in the south we pronounce it 'Nebuchadnezzar.'"

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 04:53 AM

Pity that it was Darius, though ~~ Think of Vachel Lindsay's The Daniel Jazz

King Darius said to the lions :

" Bite Daniel. Bite Daniel.

Bite him. Bite him. Bite him ! "

Thus roared the lions :

" We want Daniel, Daniel, Daniel,

We want Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.

If I'd been there the boy would have hads to give his tanner back!

Oh, how can anyone be such a boring pedantic old fart as

~M~!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 05:19 AM

I went to Newcastle in the late forties with my parents. In those days all the buildings seemed to be black or grey. The Tyne had a forest of huge cranes along its length. And all the men wore cloth caps and looked downtrodden and tired. My grandparents house (three rooms) had an iron range for cooking and heating, glowing with coal. The toilet ('nettie') was outside. 'Bwoats' were everywhere, fishing or transporting goods. The air was smoky and pricked your throat. My grannie made stottie kyek. She spoke such broad Geordie I couldn't understand a word. They all said "Eeeee!" aand "Why aye!" etc. I didn't like it much, it was so very alien to my life down in Middlesex. It was also freezing cold up there!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 10:00 AM

M, thanks for reminding me of that poem.
Eliza, thanks for the word picture.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: BrendanB
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 04:30 PM

Eliza, you really should come up and see Newcastle now. I am sure that your recollection is accurate but the city has changed beyond recognition. The Sage is a premier music venue and the Baltic is a really successful gallery. There are great restaurants and bars and loads of music. It's still cold though!

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: Dave Sutherland
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 04:57 PM

A geordie -
I was born and lived in South Shields for thirty years and I worked in Newcastle for four of those.

Subject: RE: BS: Extremely Irritating Geordie Jokes
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 04:59 PM

You're right Brendan, I've heard it's now very vibrant and a super place. I didn't mean to sound disparaging in my description of Newcastle in the late forties, it's just I was a southerner and as a small girl found it all a bit daunting. My dad of course had been born in North Shields and was quite at home, but my Irish mum also found it a bit grim and chilly! The thing I disliked most was the lack of a blade of grass or flowers. Just a tiny yard, and the back lane for the netties to be emptied.