What becomes of the broken hearted?

Subject: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 02:57 PM

It's official. I'm single. My ex-fiance finished with me today. His excuse? "I'm fed up."
Now I know what a broken heart feels like.

PLEASE send hugs. They would be much appreciated.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: sophocleese
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 02:59 PM

BIG HUG! Firecat. No words just silent sympathy.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:00 PM

Firecat, I'm so sorry to hear that! Broken hearts suck, I know. Buy yourself something really creamy and yummy, put on a sad old movie, and just in general take care of yourself. And remember that we all think very highly of you! Love and hugs.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Firecat}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Alex

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Kim C
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:04 PM

Oh, Firecat! Been there and done it but usually it was me who got fed up. Doesn't make it any better though.

I second Alex's motion.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:06 PM

{{{{{hugs}}}}

double chocolate fudge ripple couldn't hurt.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:08 PM

Firecat,

I'll see ya down on Lonely Street at the Heartbreak Hotel. Just look for the most beautiful big woman in the lobby and that will be me. Big Hug! Just think what it would of been like if you had married Mr. Fed Up!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:09 PM

Firecat,
Time will make it better. A new lover will make it worthwhile. Meantime, feel free to commiserate with people who still love you and rarely get fed up.
Mary

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: lady penelope
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:21 PM

" So dear friend , a love is gone Only Tears to dwell upon, I dare not say as the wind may blow, so a love is lost , a love is found

Go to sleep and dream again, Soon your hopes will rise and then, Through all this gloom life will start anew, And there'll be no crying soon"

Freddie Mercury / Queen - Sheer Heart Attack

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{FIRECAT}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Matt_R
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:22 PM

WHAT??? After all that? Dammit! Any minute now I'm gonna be firing up my Sawzall, and make sure I have the scrotum-cutting blades on it.

I know how you are feeling right now, FC...I've been there before. Sometimes it feels like it will never end. But be comforted...you have friends here who will stick by you always, and let nothing harm you. They say "it will pass" and "you will heal in time" but in all reality, it's very hard to see it that way in the beginning. Please, take care of yourself....and remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always around here.

A good suggestion for now is to find some good music that doesn't remind you of his sorry ass, and turn it up as loud as it will go. And get ice cream, as suggested above. LOTS of ice cream.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{FC}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

--Matt

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: kendall
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:14 PM

You have now reached adulthood! You cant expect a one legged man to win an ass kicking contest, and, he cant give you what he does not have. It is true that men cant commit, but, there is more to it than that, if he cant commit, then he has serious reservations about whether or not it is the right relationship. Look at it this way, he did you a favor. Why would you want to stay with a guy who doesn't want you? It's his loss, not yours.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Justa Picker
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:21 PM

A doob, a half a bottle of dry white wine, cold peeled shrimp on a plate with some dipping sauce, a good instrument to play, a cat on your lap to stroke and a bunch of movies to watch at your leisure.

Pamper and indulge yourself.


Note: The above is only my personal recipe. Make whatever substitutions work for you.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Matt_R
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:23 PM

Well, FC is a college student, so I'm sure there'll be some substitutions all right!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:36 PM

Whatever you do, if he has been a bastard to you, don't let his behaviour influence you to act the same way... read this thread - sorry, can't do the blue clicky thing, but if you refresh for 14 days and go nearly to the bottom, it's there. Or just double click on my name above this posting and check out what I've posted to.....

BS: Does it get better when STRESS is gone?

There's lots of good stuff there about reducing stress, causes of stress, and something about a relationship I was involved with..... basically his partner treated him like dirt so he thought that was a good way to treat others. Still mopping that one up.

And if you want to write to or phone him, think and wait an hour. If you still want to do it, wait another hour. If, after 2 - 3 hours you still want to, you need to go and do something else.

LTS

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:38 PM

Bugger wrong thread. Soddit.

Sorry, hope it was useful anyway!!!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:39 PM

FC... time IS the only healer of the heart. As for a lover ( see SINSULL above), I don't think it's a good idea, but, if you do, make abslutely sure you tell him that it's lust and not love. No need of two broken hearts.

Justa Picker... I'll be right over. But I'll bring more wine and some ales. Action movies, right ?

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:44 PM

Time wounds all heels...

Subject: LYR ADD _ Ferron's "Ain't Life A brook"
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:49 PM

from Ferron

I watch you reading a book
I get to thinking our love's a polished stone
You give me a long drawn look
I know pretty soon you're going to leave our home
And of course I mind,
especially when I'm thinking from my heart
But life don't clickety clack down a straight line track
It comes together and it comes apart.

You say you hope I'm not the kind
To make you feel obliged
To go ticking through your time
With a pained look in your eyes
You give me the furniture, we'll divide the photographs
Go out to dinner one more time
Have ourselves a bottle of wine
And a couple of laughs

And when first you left
I stayed so sad I wouldn't sleep
I know that love's a gift, I thought yours was mine
And somethng that I could keep
Now I realize that time is not the only compromise
But a bird in the hand could be an all night stand
Between a blazing fire and a pocket of skies

So I hope I'm not the kind
To make you feel obliged
To go ticking through your time
With a pained look in your eyes
I covered the furniture, I framed the photographs
Went out to dinner one more time
Had myself a bottle of wine and a couple of laughs

And just the other day
I got your letter in the mail
I'm happy for you, its been so long
You've been wanting a cabin and a backwoods trail
And I think that's great...me...
I seem to find myself in school
It's all Ok, I just want to say
I'm so relieved we didn't do it cruel
But ain't life a brook

Just when I get to feeling like a polished stone
I give me along drawn look
It's kind of a drag to find yourself alone
And sometimes I mind
Especially when I'm waiting on your heart
But life don't clickety clack down a straight line track
It comes together and it comes apart.

Cause I know you're not the kind
To make me feel obliged
To go ticking through my time with a pained look
In my eyes
I sold the furniture, I put away the photographs
Went out to dinner one more time
Skipped the bottle of wine
Had a couple of laughs
And wasn't it fine....

;-)

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 04:58 PM

One more thing. I don't wanna seem like I'm preaching, but promise yourself that, NO MATTER WHAT, you won't speak to this person for at least a month (better a year, but... it depends). I'm serious - do not speak to this person or "through" anyone else. If this person begs you in any way, just say you need time to think. Take that time. When something like this happens, the absolute WORST thing is to get back together without time in between. The simple fact of the matter is that your trust in this person will always be suspect and that's worse than any solace you could ever gain by getting back together.

As for booze or food or whatever, don't use it as a crutch. You may not be able to walk again after the required amount of time goes by.

Good luck. I know a lot of broken hearts out there are pulling for you. You'll be okay.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: chip a
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:13 PM

Don't let the bastards get ya down, Firecat! Remember the feeling that comes with newfound love? That filled up to bursting, just gotta tell someone, feels good just to speak their name, feeling? Well, now you'll have the chance to feel it again!

(((((((((((((((((((((((FC)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Chip A.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:17 PM

gnu - you're right. I should have clarified that. I meant that when the right one comes along, this will have been a worthwhile learning experience. Firecat (and I believe this is not a necessary statement) DO NOT SCREW AROUND! It will only make things worse.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Hollowfox
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:40 PM

Take heart, *he* gummed up, not you. It is better to have it end now, before the possibility of him seeing someone else without telling you, and the feeling of betrayal htat comes with -that!-. This is small comfort at the moment, though. Let yourself cry, the catharsis really does help get things better. Not to wallow in sorrow, mind, but to prevent bottling all that junk up inside you. Like baking a cake, the passage of time is one of the essential ingredients here, so roll with the punch, and don't be too hard on yourself. In the end, it's better to keep your standards high and lose a lot of boyfriends than be stuck with a real bowser. "You gotta kiss a buncha frogs before you find the prince." (sometimes; you don't want to take up frog-kissing as a major hobby though.) {{((Firecat))}}

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:42 PM

{{{{{FIRECAT}}}}} Lots more fish in the sea lass....Yours, Aye. Dave

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Jim Krause
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:51 PM

Sometimes I find it pretty difficult to say the appropriate words, and the rest of the time, I can't think of 'em. Some folks say that eventually you get over all this. Me? I'm not so sure. I think the surprise of my life is that sometimes when I least expect it, something, some song I used to sing, hearing some one else say something SHE used to say brings back memories of HER. And there are the anniversaries. So don't be surprised if in say twenty-five years you catch yourself wondering whatever happened. I thought I'd forget in time. I haven't. What a surprise. So, get out your guitar if you have one, write a song if you can, and don't get the ice cream on your strings. Best wishes,
Jim

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 06:03 PM

Clinton, I *love* that song! Her voice (on the live version) is so perfect, with the aching of unfilled longing. It really does capture the feeling of love lost.

Here is another.

Don't Feel Your Touch
Bruce Cockburn

In front of a newborn moon pushing up its glistening dome.
i kiss these departing companions -- take the next step alone.
I just said goodnight to the closest thing i have to home
oh -- and the night grows sharp and hollow as a junky's craving vein
and i don't feel your touch, again.

To be held in the heart of a friend is to be a king
but the magic of a lover's touch is what makes my spirit sing
when you're caught up in this longing all the beauties of the Earth don't mean a thing.
oh -- and the night grows clear and empty
as a lake of acid rain
and i don't feel your touch, again.

The last light of day crept away like a drunkard after gin.
A hint of chanted prayer now whispers from the fresh night wind
to this shattered heart and soul held together by habit and skin
and to this half-gnawed bone of apprehension
buried in my brain
as i don't feel your touch, again.

posted by Alex

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Amergin
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 06:06 PM

Oh FireCat.....I am so sorry to hear that...what a piece of shit....you need some one to bust his kneecaps?

I see it as his loss, not yours...He lost out on a wonderful thing...and unfotunately hurt you in the process...Just put lots of space in between you two...and don't let yourself get bitter....Your mister is out there somewhere...and you will know him once you meet him...

Hugs from Oregon

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Firecat))))))))))))))))))))))

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: kendall
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 06:38 PM

GNU is absolutely right. Break off all contact. It took me almost 3 years to get over it, and, the only way that works is to break it off totally. If you keep going back, you will remain stuck.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 07:00 PM

Thanks to all of you. I've just come back from the infamous Jug Inn, where I battered the hell out of my bodhran, while imagining it was his private area!!
Mind you, I did end up bursting into tears once!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: CarolC
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 09:43 PM

Firecat, I'm really sorry about your situation.

The only advice I have is don't get stuck in this part of your life. You have a lot of living to do, and although it probably doesn't feel like it right now, this experience is just a very small part of it.

Take care,

((((((((((hugs)))))))))

Carol

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: JenEllen
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 10:31 PM

Well, darlin'one....this might not be the right time just yet, but I heartily advocate taking the pro-active in this situation. You didn't lose, HE did. What you did to the bodhran was a start!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 10:48 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{FIRECAT}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

They don't call you Firecat for nothing, do they? Be righteous in your anger, take plenty of time to wallow, but not too much, say yes to friends when they ask you to do things with them (like go to the Jug), and don't beat yourself up over him.

How about this for a different version:

A soul, a soul, a soulmate
Please dear (Cosmic/God/ess/Whathaveyou), a soulmate
An Ian, a Sam, a Tom or Harry
Just so he makes our Firecat merry....

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Bert
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:14 PM

Well WE love you Firecat. Here's some brown paper and string which is guaranteed to fix any broken heart.

Love,

Bert.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:29 PM

Well, don't it just SUCK to be him! Feel for ya Firecat.

LL

Subject: Lyr Add: CRAZY (Willie Nelson)
From: GUEST,Hagbard
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:51 PM

Several years ago, I dated a wonderful woman. She was kind intelligent and beautiful. I dearly loved her, but distance, age differences, and change within ourselves came between us. It was very difficult for me when we broke up, but music helped me through it. I've found that Leonard Cohen and Eric Bogle can provide a cleansing and cathartic form of sadness. Afterwards, I'll play some Fred Small to lift me up. Here's a classic from the archives. I've always found it to help:

CRAZY

Crazy
Crazy for feeling so lonely
And I'm crazy
Crazy for feeling so blue
I know
You'd love me as long as you wanted
Then someday,
You'd leave me for somebody new.
Worry
Why do I let myself worry
Wond'ring
What in the world I did do oo ooo oo oo.
Crazy
for thinking that my love would hold you
Crazy for trying
Crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Chip2447
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 12:50 AM

Hugs Firecat, I wish I had some magic words to make everything better for you. Things do get better. Twas his loss not your's. Live and revel with the choice he made, and be thankful that the Fates showed you his true self you had wasted anymore time with the bum.

Hugs,
Chip2447

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Tig
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 10:24 AM

But you STILL have to go to college whether you feel like it or not!!!!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:55 AM

Take your time, you have lots, and when you start to feel better someone will come by who will knock your socks off. In a few months your eyes will clear and you will start to see the real faults in Mr. Fed Up.

You need to be aware that you have embarked on a roller coaster ride. Some days you will be down in the dumps and others you will feel fine. Just ride the coaster and let it take you where it will. Always keep in mind that the ride is finite and will end sooner or later. And you will be happy on the other end.

Good luck, kid. I am hoping you find that the ride is a short one.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: GUEST,Naemanson
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:55 AM

Sigh! I can't wait to get back to my own computer. The last was me.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:17 PM

Thanks everyone. I saw him today and he said that he felt the relationship was not working out and that's why he did the deed.

I did go to college, and was fine, until a stupid boy called Oliver overheard me telling the tutor (who also happens to be his IT teacher!) that I hadn't seen him (cos she was asking) and that we'd split up. He then decided to shout it across the OLC where I had the lesson. Very tactful! Oh well, Oliver's a moron anyway.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Amergin
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:21 PM

Did you pop him a good one?

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:45 PM

Great battering bodhrans! That makes two stupid boys (Mister-fed-up and Oliver-the-moron)!!!

I'm really sorry you had to go through all that cr*p. Please allow me to add my arms to the group hug, my been-there heart to the pile, and my advice-you-didn't ask-for to the list.

Do: Cry, laugh, sing, write, pamper yourself, stick with supportive people... basically, live well. Don't: Don't use grenades, uzis, serrated knives, rocks through windows, cars through doors, baseball bats through nasal cavities... basically, don't get yourself arrested. :^)

The cathartic song that helped me most is George Gershwin's "But Not For Me":

Old man sunshine, listen, you,
Never tell me dreams come true..
Just try it and I'll start a riot.
Beatrice Fairfax, don't you dare
Ever tell me he will care.
I'm certain it's the final curtain.
I never wanna hear
From any cheer-
-ful Pollyannas
who tell me fate
Supplies a mate;
It's all bananas.

They're writing songs of love, but not for me.
A lucky star's above, but not for me.
With love to lead the way, I've found more clouds of gray
Than any Russian play could guarantee.
I was a fool to fall and get this way.
Heigh-ho, alas, and also lack-a-day.
Although I can't dismiss the memory of his kiss
I guess he's not for me.


Finally, fuggeddabout that kiss-a-few-frogs, fish-in-the-sea stuff. Concentrate on mammals.

SharonA

P.S. Who the heck was Beatrice Fairfax, anyway???

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Tig
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:14 PM

See I told you that Mudcats would give lots of hugs. I'm pleased you saw him - the tissue supply was running out and at least you now KNOW what you did(n't) do to him!!

Love you lotsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:27 PM

Oh Jim - been there, done that, had the panic attack....

Trouble is, he has a fairly common name and I see it everywhere..... it even popped up on TV last night as the name of a block of flats! Even after all this time, it still wrenches.....

Firecat, sometimes it's better for it to be out in the open, for one it gets more sympathy, 2, it may prevent some other poor soul getting the same treatment, and 3, if he was the bad guy, you get all the chocolate!

And if you have good friends, you don't have to worry about the serrated knives and car tyres yourself..... if they're anything like mine - and I still don't know who it was.... they'll get him for you!!

LTS

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 04:49 PM

Amergin, did I pop WHO a good one? Alan or Oliver?!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 04:53 PM

I don't know...either one sounds good to me....

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 05:10 AM

An ex-girlfriend used to write OXOXOXO on her letters.
The X's are obviously kisses but the O's are like the arms around a person. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........ will that do?

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 05:54 AM

Aw, Firecat, I've been away and I missed this thread. Sorry to hear that. Go through the sadness stage (ballads and favourite sad songs), then reach the angry stage (some very heavy music required for this) and it will eventually move on into the over-it phase. It takes some time, it messes you up a bit, but at the end of the day, having been through the losers, you get to appreciate and recognise the great ones when they come along.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 06:40 AM

Hey FC....Good advice here from your old fart friends and some of your contemporaries too. I wouldn't take Kendall's advice too literally though.......I mean like, "Break it off," is a good idea and all but Loreena Bobbitt went to jail for that, so my suggestion would be that maybe you just chop some Cocktail Wienies in half or something......................Big Hugs from Ol' Spaw.

Spaw

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 01:51 PM

Yeah but she was a heroine to most of the right thinking world, and the others just wished they'd had the guts to do the same.....

LTS

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 05:45 AM

Thanks everybody!
I've got my eye on someone else now anyway! Wish me luck!!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 08:47 AM

Ew! How sticky! Doesn't that make it a bit awkward to read these threads?

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 01:00 PM

Not at all, Sharon, IMO. Youth is so accelerated, it feels more quickly, more readily and more whole-heartedly than do those who have more years on them. For that same reason, they also heal faster.

Just think of small children- look at how quickly they recover from an illness or injury. My husband's twin brother fell off the table where they had placed him at birth, and broke his arm. All they did was make sure the bones were lined up. They left it at that.

We all lose the resilience in a predictable manner, it seems.

On the other hand, I have probably offended everyone here. I remember my daughter didn't like to be reminded that some of what she was feeling was attributable to her youth!

I guess I'm feeling pedantic this morning...

Ebbie

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 03:38 PM

Watch out it isn't a rebound thing, have some fun, but don't get tangled up too much too soon. Sometimes you'll only have the rest of your life to think of what might have beens.....

LTS

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: LR Mole
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 04:32 PM

Beatrice Fairfax was sort of a Miss Lonelyhearts-Ann Landers writer, my mother-in-law tells me. Best version is Elvis Costello's on that Gershwin compilation with Sting and Sinead (who sounds quite mad, big news).ANYWAY,Firecat, melancholy can make one feel quite heroic, once out the other side. Something to stare at the heath and be moody about. If it didn't hurt, it wouldn't make you grow. (Says the Mole, who had a root canal last week and frankly would rather have had his emotions bent.)

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Tig
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 06:20 PM

Yes but Firecat turned down the one who asked her out because she didn't feel ready yet! (It'll go Aw, Mother!!) She says he was cute but too old for her at 23.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:54 AM

Firecat, it's the world's worst feeling, but as much as it seems like the sadness and heartbreak will never go away, it really does. When you find a new romance, you'll be amazed at how all those feelings of "what did I do wrong/" and "If only I could take back the times I said....and done..." melt away.

Until then, one way of making these days bearable is to take walks by yourself, concentrate on little things, like the aroma of some flowers you pass by, an interesting sign in a window...take the time to see things you normally don't pay much attention to. Once you make that a habit, you'll really appreciate being comfortable with yourself again, and you'll be in a better frame of mind for whatever happens next.

Good thoughts your way,

-chanteyranger

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:01 PM

I haven't gone "Aw, Mother"! I've gone "I'm gonna kill you for that!".

It'll be a week tomorrow since we split.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Amergin
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:17 PM

Now that I believe, FC.....that's the firecat we have all come to know and love...

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 04 Jul 01 - 04:15 PM

Thanks, Amergin! Nice to know SOMEBODY appreciates me!!

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Jul 01 - 01:53 AM

We ALL appreciate you dear, not least for this thread where we can all have a wail and a bar of chocolate and dispense personal experiences and pearls of wisdom because we're all SO MUCH OLDER THAN YOU!!! (Cow.)

You succeeded in dredging up some really old memories for me, for which I'm partially grateful, hopefully they were of some benefit.

LTS

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Alice
Date: 05 Jul 01 - 09:22 AM

{{{{{{Firecat}}}}}}} Although when a heart is bleeding, it doesn't always help to hear that there are better fish in the sea, but it sounds like you're coping. Here's wishing for you that the pain "fades away like the morning dew".

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Firecat
Date: 05 Jul 01 - 02:49 PM

Liz, was that "cow" aimed at me or what you think I'll be saying about you???

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Amergin
Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:19 PM

Actually , FC, I thought it was supposed to be short for cower....but then I'm not sure....with that mouth that LTS appears to have I can't imagine her cowering from anything....

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:38 PM

Ebbie, I was KIDDING about the eye! Just a little JOKE! (Y'know, like, if you have your eye ON someone — sticking TO that person — then it's no longer in your head, so the parallax between the two eyes is increased a bazillion-fold and it's hard to read, particularly if you wear glasses... aw, never mind. I guess my humor is too obtuse).

Firecat, I humbly suggest that you avoid counting the days since your breakup; it serves no good purpose. Instead, be sure to schedule enjoyable things to do in the near future, and count down the days until each event comes around.

Five years ago, after the end of my 13-year relationship with [that #%$^@!& excuse for a man whose name I'd love to have forgotten], one of my friends recommended that I involve myself with activities I enjoyed... so I threw myself into my music, and I think (hope!) I've made other people besides myself happy in the process. It's taken me places I never dreamed I could go... and some that I never even knew existed. So I'm passing my friend's advice on to you as well.

SharonA

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:42 PM

Hmmm... maybe I shouldn't have said "five years ago"... Guess I should stop counting, too, huh? It just amazes me how much richer and fuller these past 5 years have been than the previous 13 were, that's all...

SharonA

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Jul 01 - 05:12 PM

Sharon, all my life people have told me I'm too literal minded. Can't imagine why. Sigh

Ebbie

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Benjamin
Date: 07 Jul 01 - 08:23 PM

Firecat, seems you've been talking about this breakup for awhile. Trust me, you didn't want to marry this guy. Your young, there's no need to tie yourself down now. Go out, have a good time, enjoy yourself, and most importantly, Move on with your life! Maybe you should try something new. You won't be over this anytime soon, but it's better to start your life sooner than later. In a few months, you won't have to bring it up in every conversation.

Hope you feel better!
{{{{{{{{{{Firecat}}}}}}}}}}

BMW

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Naemanson
Date: 07 Jul 01 - 10:54 PM

The answer to the original question in this thread is simple but oh so hard to achieve.

What becomes of the broken hearted? They heal.

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: mousethief
Date: 07 Jul 01 - 10:57 PM

Sharon, you've joined! Welcome!

Firecat, remember that healing is a cyclical process. You may get mad, then get nostalgic, then blue, and then do it all over again, in a different order, with different intensities. It helped me to learn this when my first wife dumped me. So you won't be surprised.

More hugs.

Alex

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: kendall
Date: 07 Jul 01 - 11:10 PM

You could always become a teen age philosopher and go around with a guitar wailing out your diary entries and calling yourself a singer/songwriter! Hey, it's been done before. Guaranteed a few years from now you will look back and think, "I must have been crazy!"

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jul 01 - 03:19 AM

Firecat - Cow is an affectionate term of abuse.... Had it been bitch, it would have been different. I was being abusive because you're younger than me (hell, if you're still a student, I could be your MOTHER!) but was being affectionate because, well, I'm that sort of person. It's like calling your best friend names. You know. Don't take it personally, everyone younger than me gets called names sooner or later, it's just me getting old and Diana Trent-like. As you get older you'll hate everyone younger than you as well.

Besides, I like cows. Some of my best days were spent with cows on Granfer's farm.

LTS

Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted?
From: Alice
Date: 08 Jul 01 - 10:03 AM

Firecat, if you are finding that you constantly think about him, have him in your mind the first thing when you wake up, the last thing before you go to sleep... it's, time to work on consciously moving on. Believe us, this is not the guy you would be happily married to. He is an experience in your youth that some day you will look back on... and be glad you didn't waste any more time with him. Until you can go through a day without thinking about him, don't start seriously dating a new man. Get this guy out of your system by taking care of yourself, growing your own potential, having new experiences that have nothing to do with him. It can take some time to get over him, but consciously working on new experiences and your own talents, will bring you a richer life and make what you have to offer in a future relationship even more enjoyable. Now, go do something new, that won't remind you of 'him'.

{{{{{{Firecat}}}}}}} End of lecture.

Alice